Prompt: "Based on an episode in Scrubs: each of the Straw Hats imagines being married to Nami. Please use at least one of the quotes: "Life would be so much simpler." "I hate you."-"I know." "Worth it." "Honey, do you think we're pigeonholing the children?" "

(written 13 November 2009)

Resting her chin on her hand, Nami studied her new husband. "I hate you," she suddenly declared.

Zoro glared back at her. "I know," he impassively said.

The next day, they filed for divorce.

Zoro shuddered in his sleep, and gripped his katanas tighter.

Luffy luxuriated in the treasure his by rights of being the Pirate King, when Nami came in with a shovel and a wheelbarrow. He looked up imploringly at her.

"Half the treasure, as wife of the Pirate King," she sang as she carted her share out. "By the way," she called over her shoulder, "I've found a map to the legendary Meat Island."

He grinned. "Worth it."

Luffy began to chew on his pillow.

Nami lay sprawled on their bed, her wedding dress folded neatly beside it; she wore nothing underneath. "Is something the matter, love?"

Chopper blushed, grateful for the fur that concealed it. "Before we go any further, there's something we need to discuss," he mumbled. "It's our sexual and reproductive compatibility."

Chopper fitfully turned in his hammock.

Sanji stroked his wife's hair. "You are perfection," he whispered, and kissed her.

Nami smiled at him. "I love you," she murmured in his ear. They embraced....

Sanji nearly fell to the floor with his ecstatic writhing.

Nami cornered her husband, and put her hands on her hips. "I need you to do the laundry, clean the bathroom, buy groceries, mend the fence, wash dishes, and start on supper for tonight; I'd like mutton with pineapple sauce, cucumber salad, and pretzels. Also, you need to finish the baby's room," she added, placing one hand on her pregnant belly.

"Yes dear," Usopp sighed.

Usopp turned over and muttered something unintelligible into his pillow.

Nami surveyed her harem. Her jester, flexible as anything; her cook, agile and eager to please; her masseuse, who knew all the sensitive places; her bodyguard, hardy and able to keep going for ages; and her storyteller, adept with his tongue.

She idly tapped her fingers. "Which one of you shall I have tonight...." she wondered out loud. She smiled. "I know. One at a time, show me the best you can do."

Nami wriggled in her sheets, a blush coming to her face.