Lexi: 9 reviews! Oh, I feel so very loved:) My day has been pretty shitty so I'm gonna end it by listening to music, drinking some Monster, eating pizza, and updating the story. I've decided that I HAVE to update more than I did on Locked in Love... that means I promise not to go on an unexplained 3 month hiatus this time! xD

Roy: I'm still pissed off about that... How is it that 17 chapters took nearly a fucking year to write? Lazy ass...

Lexi: I honestly don't think you've learned *glares* DON'T INSULT THE WRITER. Ugh, bastard.

Ed: And now you see why I hate him.

Roy: You don't hate me.

Ed: YES, I do!

Lexi: Nah, he has a point. I'm pretty damn sure you love it when he sticks his-

Ed: LA LA LA LA LA SOME PEOPLE DON'T NEED TO BE CORRUPTED!

Lexi: *grins* I am well aware of what I was saying.

Disclaimer: Lexi-chan still doesn't own FullMetal Alchemist!

Warning: Why do I even still put this thing in? You know the drill. No likey, no read(e?)y.

"So... basically, your mom said she's coming out for a while to help with the wedding, she didn't know you were engaged, and they think I'm some chick named 'Edwina'? Is that everything?" Edward asked calmly. His casual demeanor was scaring Roy, why the fuck wasn't he getting hit?

Roy nodded slowly, hesitant to give an answer, "Yeah, that's pretty much it..."

"Okay," Edward looked up with a blank face for about 2.5 seconds before standing, and promptly slapping Roy hard on the cheek.

"Ow! What the fuck, Edward?"

"You know 'what the fuck,' Roy! You are an idiotic bastard! Do you know how this whole fucking situation is making me feel? I doubt it, because you're too worried thinking about how to save your sorry ass! Well, guess what, it's making me want to go cry because I'm not even good enough to tell your mother about!" Ed screamed out in one breath, looking like a kicked dog when his eyes began tearing up.

"Shhhhh, baby, I'm so sorry. I was tired and wasn't thinking properly. I promise I will tell her, okay?" Roy pleaded while he held Edward in a tight, comforting embrace.

A muffled 'okay' was all he got.

"So, to start we do have some things to prepare."

"Like what kind of things?" Ed questioned looking suspicious.

"I don't know... move your stuff into one of the spare bedrooms, clean up the guest room, make the house suitable for a woman to live in... Maybe get some food other than Ramen Noodles?" Roy said the last one more like a casual suggestion instead of that it was is mom's demand.

"WAIT, WE HAVE TO GET DIFFERENT FOOD? No way is that bitch staying here if it means we have to have actual cooking!" Edward freaked out and started waving his arms in a tantrum throwing way.

"...You did NOT just stomp your foot!" and Roy promptly starting laughing his ass off.

"Fuck off you jerkwad! This is serious, damnit! I'm not giving up my instant meals!" Ed glared at his fiance, pissed that Roy obviously thought he was joking.

"Okay, okay," Roy calmed his breathing, while still gripping his stomach to stop laughing.

"Whatever... you are going to owe me SO much for putting up with them."

"Sure Edward, anything you say. As long as this ends in sexual favors, I'm happy!" Roy kissed him on the cheek.

"W-what? Whoever said anything about s-s-se... you know what I mean!" Ed stuttered out with a bright pink stain to his face.

"Edward, are you really that shy still? We've fucked, I figure you could at least say the word, sex," Roy said slowly, trying hard not to laugh and embarrass him.

"I-I... I'm sorry, I just don't like saying it! Besides, we've only done it like twice. It's not like it's a regular thing..." Edward muttered quickly.

"Well, do you want it to be? I mean, we're enaged, it is something couples generally do. Unless, you want to wait until we're actually married," Roy replied, not quite sure what to say.

"Ummmm... I'd like to. I just, I don't know... I love you, and I like it when we do stuff, but I'm still new to all of this," Ed refused to meet his eyes and his head was turned away.

Roy gently reached out, cupped his face and turned Edward back to face him, "I love you too... even if I can't say it in quite as many words. I understand that you honestly haven't 'been out of the closet' for all that long and that your experience is much smaller than mine. But I want to help, so if you ever want to try again, just tell me. Until then, I can wait," Roy ended his little declaration with a passionate kiss on the lips.

"You know that you make me feel like a terrible human being, right?" Ed smiled and gave a small laugh.

"How's that?" Roy frowned slightly.

"Because... you're beautiful, and loving, and patient... Hell, you're probably the closest thing to perfect there is!" He explained.

"Edward, I hope you know how ridiculous that was. I'm a teacher who slept with his student, corrupted an innocent kid, and is now lying to his mom so she doesn't know he's gay! Does that sound like perfect to you?" Roy chuckled.

"Well, it sounds like perfect to me... However, I think that might sound bad to anyone who wasn't madly in love with you," Edward reasoned lightly.

"Whatever you say, love, whatever you say..." Roy mused quietly.

"So... when are they coming exactly?" Ed questioned, pretending to be more interested in something on Roy's shirt.

"Uhhh 5 days. We have that long to make this fag house look like a straight man's paradise."

Edward looked him straight in the eye for about 10 seconds before laughing extremely loudly and having to grip onto Roy so as not to fall over. He was gasping for breath after a minute straight of cracking up. Once he got back to normal, or as normal as is possible for him, he said, "That was probably the best thing that's ever come from your mouth. And I know some pretty good stuff that's come from it..." [Lexi: Sorry, couldn't resist the sexual innuendo there! xD]

Roy smiled for a moment before going back to serious, "Okay, that's all fine and dandy, but we do have things to do. Just so you know, the story is that 'Edwina' is out of town visiting her parents. You're my roommate, and you'll be moving out after the wedding. If they ask, we met in college. Anything about the 'bride' can be made up, just make sure to tell me so our details don't clash."

"Wow, you really have this all planned out... But where's the part when we tell them that you like dick?" Edward said, cocking one eyebrow.

"I hadn't actually gotten that far. I promise to tell them, but wait until they've gotten settled in for a bit, kay? They'll only be here for two weeks, tops. They never stay longer than that," Roy implored him.

"You're going to owe me Ramen everyday for like a year after this, just so you know," Edward smirked, though still slightly angry that he wasn't going to be eating things that took 3 minutes to prepare.

"See, this is why I love you, Ed. So flexible," Roy purred the last word into his ear, making sure to imply something sexual. It took Edward a minute to come back to himself when he realized his fiance had left the room.

"Roy?" he called.

"I'm going to the store to buy all the shit we can eat in 5 days. You coming, doll face?" Roy asked sarcastically, knowing Ed would never pass up junk food.

"HELL YES!"

Lexi: Not anything like I planned this chapter, but I honestly didn't have much of a plan for it to begin with. I like how it turned out:) Some arguing, fluff, and some seriousness. The parents are finally gonna be here next chapter! And I'll even tell you a little spoiler... they're bringing someone with them. If you can guess right who it is, you get a special mention next chapter. Three hints.

1) It is a women.

2) She was in the last story.

3) It's not Winry...

Good luck figuring it out! I'm off to dye my hair red for the hell of it!:D REVIEWS PWEAAASE. I NEED MY CRACK! (To those who don't know. No, I'm not a druggie. REVIEWS ARE MY FUCKING CRACK.)

Oh, yeah, that songs I kept listening to while writing were: CheaterCheaterBestFriendEater by NeverShoutNever! and Love Like Woe by the Ready Set... they are addictive.

Love you all,

XOXO

Lexi