Gazing into the Abyss

Star Wars: The Bergeron Chronicles, Part 3

a fanfic by Sisiutil

Chapter 2

At top speed, it would take the Nomad just over two days to travel from Sessram Prive to Yavin 4. Technically, Axel was in hyperspace during that entire time; but he was also spending it in his own private version of hell. Because for two days, with the ship running efficiently on auto-pilot, he had nothing to do but sit around--or, more frequently and accurately, pace around--and worry about the woman he loved.

The most innocent explanation for the invitation, of course, was that Luke Skywalker had found out somehow about Kilu's relationship with Axel. By tradition, Jedi were not supposed to form permanent attachments--especially of the romantic variety. The source of the concern was that close personal relationships led to negative emotions such as fear and anger, and those in turn led to the dark side of the Force. Such attachments could also distract Jedi from attaining their cherished unity with the Force. Axel disagreed with the policy vehemently, of course, and Kilu had told him that in the New Jedi Order the rule was observed more in the breach than in the observance, which had given them hope. Perhaps Skywalker, however, had decided to crack down. But why would he want to talk to Axel, then? Wouldn't he instead just reprimand Kilu? No, unfortunately, the simplest and most innocent explanation didn't make sense.

That logic made Axel worried that he was being summoned because Skywalker knew about the relationship, yes, but had bad news for him. The life of a Jedi was never bereft of danger, and Kilu was often a magnet for it. Axel's overly-active imagination ran through the many possibilities: Kilu could have been on a mission and been captured. Or she might have been hurt. Or she might even be...

No. Axel couldn't accept the last, final possibility; he did his best to prevent himself from even thinking about it. She was alive. She had to be. He wasn't Force-sensitive and therefore couldn't sense her that way, but he was certain that she had to be alive nonetheless. Because he was still alive. And he couldn't imagine going on living if she wasn't.

He had time to reflect upon the last few months, searching for clues as to what might have happened. Their relationship had taken a significant turn after that incident on the remote jungle planet of Cetachuya. Kilu had single-handedly defeated a Sith Lord--who also happened to be her former Jedi teacher--and had recovered a case load of lost Jedi holobooks. Thanks to the Sith in question, Axel had nearly been killed. Her concern for his welfare had evidently made Kilu realize the depths of the feelings she had for Axel. For his part, he regarded the trip from Cetachuya back to Yavin as the happiest three days of his life; he and Kilu had spent nearly every hour in one another's arms. Looking back now, he remembered that there had been times when she'd seemed troubled, but that had been understandable. Her former teacher had gone evil, and she'd been forced to take his life. That would shake up anyone, even a Jedi.

After her return to Yavin, the Order had regarded her experience as the equivalent of the Jedi trials that members had to pass in order to achieve the rank of Jedi Knight. The promotion meant that Kilu had more assignments of her own, on her own. It meant she could slip away here and there to rendezvous with Axel, but it also meant that she was busier and had more responsibilities. They saw one another when they could, and kept in touch through sub-space comm calls and, when one or both of them were unavailable through that means, through long text messages. He'd noticed her increasing frustration with their situation, and shared it. But it was the way things had to be. He wasn't going to ask her to give up being a Jedi, but he couldn't give her up either.

And then, starting about two weeks ago, he hadn't heard anything from her at all. Not a message, not a call, not one word. He'd assumed she was on a mission where she had to be incommunicado; he just wished she'd somehow told him that was the case beforehand. He'd tried not to worry about her. He'd been extremely unsuccessful in that endeavour. And now had come this mysterious summons to the Jedi headquarters; it wasn't helping his already agitated frame of mind. It brought him right back to the worst-case scenarios: that she'd been captured, or abducted, or badly hurt, or...

Axel checked the chronometer on his ship's display panel. Twenty-nine hours, seventeen minutes, eight seconds to Yavin. He couldn't get there fast enough.

Axel guided the Nomad into the large hangar bay that occupied the lowest level of the Great Temple on Yavin 4. The Temple itself had enough history on its own to impress him, but beyond that, he knew that the rebel starfighters that had fought in the Battle of Yavin, in which the Empire's first Death Star had been destroyed, had been launched from this very same hangar. Axel suddenly remembered that Kilu's father had been in one of those starfighters--and that he hadn't come back that day. He wondered how she felt about living and working in this ancient building now; she hadn't mentioned anything about her feelings on it one way or the other, so he supposed it wasn't an issue for her.

One of the hangar attendants directed him to an elevator which he took up to the Great Temple's second level. As he stepped off the elevator, he found himself standing directly in front of one of the most beautiful women he'd ever seen. She had long red hair and striking green eyes; her relatively loose, comfortable Jedi clothing did nothing to hide a well-proportioned dancer's figure. He couldn't help giving her the customary male once-over, but thought he'd done so quickly enough so as not to be offensive. When she didn't step out of his way, he automatically made a move to step around her. To his surprise, she put herself directly in his path.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asked him.

Axel looked into those beautiful green eyes and was struck by the suspicion there, as well as a cold, dangerous hardness that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.

"I'm here to see Luke Skywalker," she told her.

"What about?" she demanded. One hand was on her hip; the other, he noticed, was resting casually--deceptively so--upon the lightsaber that hung from her belt.

"I... don't know," Axel replied. "He invited me here. My name's Axel Bergeron...?"

One slender red eyebrow twitched upwards, indicating that she recognized his name. She paused a moment, studying him intently, her lips pursed in thought. Axel could feel a trickle of sweat running down his back.

"Across the hall, third door on the left," she said, gesturing down the hall with a twitch of her head without taking her eyes off of him.

"Yeah, thanks..." Axel said, stepping around her and watching her warily the whole time. "Glad you're on our side, lady..." he muttered.

"I wasn't always," she said to him over her shoulder. Then she disappeared down a corridor.

Mental note, Axel thought to himself. If you meet her in a dark alley, run away.

Axel found the door she'd indicated and touched the entry request on its external command pad. The door slid open, and he went inside. He found himself inside an office that was tastefully decorated in soothing tones and occupied by a single occupant, who was behind a desk in the middle of the room. He was already rising when Axel walked in.

"You must be Axel Bergeron," the man said, a welcoming smile upon his face as he extended his hand. "I'm Luke Skywalker."

Axel had not been sure how he'd feel about meeting a living legend. He had expected to be awed. Instead he found himself astonished by how very human Luke Skywalker appeared to be. He was in early middle age, but he looked to be in excellent physical condition and had retained much of his boyish good looks, though they had been hardened somewhat by years of fighting for the rebellion and the New Republic. His sandy blond hair was short, parted on the side, and bereft of grey. His handshake was firm. And, to Axel's surprise, he found he had a few centimeters on the Jedi Master.

"It's an honour to meet you, Mister Skywalker," Axel said.

"Please, call me Luke," the Jedi said with a wave of his hand.

"You're... shorter than I expected," Axel blurted out before he could catch himself.

Fortunately, Skywalker took it in stride. He laughed softly, nodded, and said, "Yes, I get that a lot. Please, sit down," he said, gesturing towards two padded chairs off to the side of the room. "I'm glad to get the chance to meet you in person," Skywalker said once they were seated. "The Jedi Order owes you a debt of thanks for helping to retrieve those lost records from Cetachuya."

"It was my pleasure," Axel said, then shifted his weight anxiously. "Look, I don't mean to be rude, but can you just cut the chit-chat and tell me why I'm here? I've spent the last two days in hyperspace going slowly out of my mind. It's... it's about Kilu, isn't it?"

Skywalker's pleasant smile vanished in an instant. "Yes," he said. "Yes, it's about Kilu. I understand you and she are... very close."

Axel only hesitated a moment, knowing it was pointless to try to dissemble in front of a Jedi Master. "Yes. We're... intimate."

"I appreciate your candor," Skywalker said. "Han tells me you're a straight shooter. So I'll be straight with you." He pressed his lips together and exhaled. "We fear that we've... lost Kilu."

Axel could feel the knots his stomach had been tied into for two days beginning to tighten. "You mean you've lost contact with her? On a mission?"

"No," Skywalker said, his blue eyes staring directly into Axel's. "I mean that we've lost her to the dark side of the Force."

Axel sat in stunned silence for a moment. For two days he'd been torturing himself, turning over every possible worst case scenario in his mind. Even, eventually, considering the horrible possibility that Kilu was dead. But this was one situation he had not considered, not even for a moment. It hadn't even occurred to him. For one very simple reason.

"That's impossible," he said to the Jedi.

"I'm afraid it's not," Skywalker told him. "She's crossed over. I wish..."

"No, you're wrong," Axel said emphatically, leaning forward. "Look, with all due respect, you don't know her. Not like I do. She spurned two Sith Lords when they tried to entice her over to the dark side. Two of them. When they were threatening her with death. She spat in the face of one of them, I saw her do it! There is no way," he said, chopping down with his hand as he said each word, "that Kilu Branon would ever go over to the dark side. She's a good person. She..."

"She left here two weeks ago by stealing an X-Wing," Skywalker told him in a matter-of-fact tone. "Two mechanics tried to stop her. She attacked them. Put both of them in the infirmary. One's still in critical condition. Do you still want to try to defend her?"

Axel's eyes were wide open, staring at Skywalker in shock. Even so, a moment later, he shook his head. "No. It's a ruse, a trick of some kind."

Skywalker sighed. "Look, I know this is hard to accept..."

"Yeah, it's hard to accept because it's NOT POSSIBLE!" Axel shouted as he rose from his seat.

Skywalker raised his hand and gestured with his fingers as though he was turning a dial. "Calm down," he said.

Axel suddenly felt his rising anger flow out of his body. He sat back down and looked at Skywalker with a peaceful expression on his face. Then he blinked and frowned. "Did you just... mind trick me?" he asked.

"Yes," Skywalker admitted. "Sorry about that, but you were getting hysterical. If it's any consolation, the fact that you're aware of it shows you're not weak-minded. You just had a... weak moment. Understandable, given the circumstances."

"That's not much consolation at the moment," Axel said despondently as his head fell forward into his hands. "Kilu..." he whispered.

"I'm sorry to be the bearer of such bad news," Skywalker said sympathetically. "I preferred to tell you in person. That's why I asked you to come here. That, and for one other reason."

"What's that?" Axel asked, lifting his head to look at the Jedi Master again.

"Has she contacted you? In the last two weeks?" he asked.

"No," Axel replied, his voice heavy with dejection. "I haven't heard from her at all since she... Huh. I was wondering why. Guess I know now..."

"That might not be such a bad thing," Skywalker told him. "Dark Jedi aren't exactly known to be... gentle with people they were close to before they turned. Do you have any idea where she might have gone?"

Axel was about to answer, but then he noticed: there was something in the Jedi's tone... something that set off alarm bells in the back of his mind. He turned and looked at Skywalker, his brow furrowed.

"Why do you want to find her?" he asked.

"We just don't want her to hurt anyone else," Skywalker said in a tone of voice that sounded just a little too reassuring.

It was an answer, but it wasn't an answer. How did they hope to prevent that from happening? As Axel sat there, with the Jedi Master steadily meeting his gaze, a number of other questions came to him. Why would the Jedi Order want to track down one of their own who'd turned renegade? What would they do if and when they found her? The answer came to him quickly... and it involved lightsabers.

"No," Axel told him, "I have no idea where she's gone. I would have hoped, if she was in trouble, that she would have come to me. But she hasn't."

"I see," Skywalker said evenly. "Well, as I said, that may be for the best. I know it's difficult, but you should regard her as dangerous--because she is. Extremely dangerous."

"Got it," Axel said. "Well. Thank you for telling me," he said, slowly pushing himself back up to his feet. "I wish I could have been more help."

Skywalker placed a sympathetic hand on his shoulder. "Just promise me you'll contact us if you hear from her. Or if anything else occurs to you."

"Will do," Axel said as he walked out the door and left the office.

After a few minutes, the door chime in Skywalker's office sounded yet again, and the formidable redhead Axel had encountered earlier strode into the room.

"You told him?" she asked, her arms crossed. Skywalker nodded. "The techs attached the tracker to his ship. But you realize that we'll lose him when he enters hyperspace. When he does eventually drop to sub-light, he could be days away."

"I know that, Mara," Skywalker responded.

"You also realize, of course, that you might have just sent him off to his death."

Skywalker nodded sadly. "I know that too. But that young man is our best hope of getting her back."

Mara Jade walked forward and sat down upon the edge of his desk. "Luke. I know you want to restore the Jedi Order. And you're trying to follow the old ways. But those old ways didn't prevent the Empire from arising. In fact, they may have kept the Jedi from realizing what was actually happening. They failed. Yoda admitted as much himself."

Luke returned her steady gaze. He was one of the few people in the entire galaxy who could. "What are you saying, Mara?"

"I'm saying that it might be time to rethink that old Jedi policy regarding 'personal attachments'," she said.

And, looking at her, Luke Skywalker had to concede that she had a point.