And shall we disclaim? Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise, Sotsu Agency, BanDai, etc. etc.
A.N. Eh, the chapters aren't consistent because this wasn't written with chapters, but I decided I wanted to chapter-ize it when I posted.
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"Shoot!"
Hilde sucked on the offended fingertip she'd burned lighting a candle on the table. Dinner was fixed, all Duo's favorites. She'd set the table with the nicer settings and was lighting candles to place in the center. Cursing her clumsiness, she struck another match and finished. The kitchen had a soft glow.
Hilde smoothed her simple black dress. She'd also taken pains to make herself look good. Her face was subtly done with makeup, her hair was tamed and combed back. She wore her best dress. As she gave herself and the table a final glance, she noted the romantic inclination of the evening. Had she gone overboard? Would Duo see her and the dinner and be intimidated? She'd built so much around this dinner that she was afraid she'd overstepped herself.
"Whoa, babe!" Duo came in through the kitchen door.
She smiled timidly. "Hey, I, uh, I fixed dinner."
"I see."
It was difficult to read his expression in the soft lighting. A mistake on her part, she realized. She couldn't afford to give up the advantage Duo's expressive eyes lent. Now she wouldn't know what he was thinking. She gestured to the seat across from her. "Sit down."
He scratched his head. "Um, yeah. Looks good."
Hilde shrugged. "When doesn't food look good to you?"
"When it's all primped and dressed up like in those fancy restaurants. Nevermind the fact that they only give you servings good enough for sample tasting."
She gave him a polite smile. "Well, I know better than to insult your stomach's capacity like that."
He grinned. They ate in silence.
Duo ate with relish, as always. He had to notice how tonight was different, but he didn't mention it. As she refilled his glass, Hilde couldn't take anymore of the silence. She set the pitcher down. "About the college . . ."
"Is that what's this all about? I thought so!" Duo exclaimed.
"You thought what?" she asked, carefully.
"It's like you're trying to butter me up so you can hammer in your decision," he chuckled lightly. "Hilde, I told you before, it's okay. I think you should go!"
"Shouldn't I stay?"
"For what?"
"For the business, to keep up the house, for you." Her voice had gradually lowered as she said her last words, and her last reason was a pitiful mumble. "For us."
"I can handle the yard just fine. Okay, so the files may get a little behind in organization, but it'll be fine." He watched as Hilde fidgeted, then occupied her hands with the pitcher again. She was pretty sure he'd heard every single one of her excuses, but his face didn't show. He shook his head in a patronizing fashion and contradicted her, "The house will survive, I promise I'm not as big a pig as you seem to think. I'll finally be able to live up the life of a bachelor!"
She began pouring into her glass. His head tilted to the side, as though confounded. "I don't know what you're worried about. I'll make sure to eat vegetables and all that other stuff you seem to think is important for healthy living. You don't have to worry about me."
She stared at her glass, watching the liquid rise slowly as she poured. She heard Duo's words as though they were standing at opposite ends of a tunnel. Everything he said had an echo, reverberating endlessly, a cruel taunt to all her fantasies of happily ever after.
Shouldn't I stay?
For what?
I can handle just fine.
I'll finally be able to live up the life of a bachelor!
You don't have to worry about me.
He didn't care. She could be here or there. He talked as if she was just taking the day off to goof around at a spa or something. He didn't care.
"Hilde!"
"Hilde!"
She was jarred out of her thoughts. "Wh-what?"
"Your glass, you're spilling all the drink. Aren't you looking right at it?"
Hilde blinked. The drink was sloshing over the rim of her glass, staining the tablecloth underneath. Still, she allowed the drink to flow. Her glass was overflowing with red punch, like blood from a fresh wound. The sound of the liquid hitting the table was strangely reminiscent of gurgling. She'd bled that way before, blood coming up quicker than she could swallow. Her glass was bleeding as she poured more and more.
No, not bleeding. Her glass was overflowing. It was filled to capacity and then some, all air forced out. Her glass was choking. How strange. Glasses were meant to hold juice. How could it choke on its purpose? Wasn't Hilde was meant to love and be loved?
Together, they watched until Hilde poured the entire content. Duo wore an alarmed expression. He'd backed away as the punch reached the edge of the table and dripped steadily to the floor. She'd poured the whole pitcher into her glass, even after he'd pointed out to her that she'd overflowed. Then, as if everything was perfectly okay, Hilde set the pitcher down and brushed at her skirt. She fixed Duo with a strained smile.
"Duo, I'm leaving."
********
Everything was set. Her bags were all packed and littered the house in various corners. Her room was barren, except for the bed. She'd left some of her pictures taped up on the walls, in case Duo missed her. She doubted that was likely, though. He wasn't even home. She was leaving to go across the colony and her best friend wasn't there to see her off! The months before her departure date, they'd been uncharacteristically quiet around each other. They were civil, but their friendship lacked the open, relaxed comfortable feeling they usually shared. They didn't joke too often. They never mentioned the fact that she was leaving.
Hilde huffed, thinking about the complete rudeness Duo was showing. Did he care so little? She would miss him. She would miss him so much that she could feel that familiar suffocating feeling rising up again. She swallowed several times and tried to get herself in control. She was not going to doubt herself now.
Outside the sun was shining in that perfect way that could only happen with simulation. Hilde watched as her taxi pulled into the driveway, and a tall, bulky man stepped out. He knocked on the door.
"Come in, the door's open!"
"Schbeiker? I'm here to pick up a Hilde Schbeiker for a long haul." The man's voice sounded as rough as his face looked.
"Yeah, that's me. Um, my things are there and there . . . and there." She gave him a weak smile. She would be spending about ten hours with this man on the road. As the man proceeded to load her luggage into the car, Hilde stifled the urge to shudder. She looked around one last time. The apartment was drab and still. Some of Duo's clothing lay across the arm of the couch. The stark black against the faded upholstery seemed to fit her mood. The color brought its wearer's face back to forefront, and Hilde wistfully thought of Duo once more. Memories of them laughing together, even fighting together, flitted through her mind in a panoramic slide show. Fear of the unknown future, sadness, and love – love after all that had happened – rose in Hilde's throat, the choking feeling back.
Outside the cabby was waiting, the artificial sun was shining, and the pretense of a brand new life beginning loomed. So Hilde made the decision to stop suffocating herself.
She crossed the doorstep and took a deep breath.
+++
Time makes the love pass.