Authors Note:
First of—KHR is not mine. Standard Disclaimer applies. Blah-to-infinity Blah. There.
Second—my eternal thanks to those who gave this story a try. Really. I am humbled by your opinions and effort in reading what amounts to little more than my madness needing to infect itself. I hope that this would amuse some of you. If it brings even a little twitch to your lips—I feel paid in full. Enjoy.
GETTING UP CLOSE AND PERSONAL
"The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong."
– Murphy's Lesser Known Laws
Flashback
"Tsssuuuunnnaa-aaa! My darling boy! Papa is here!"
Tsuna scrubbed a hand across his face as he hissed at the older man, "Old Man, where the hell have you been? Do you have any idea what I've been through in this stinking country of yours? I've been trying to call you for hours!"
Checker Face couldn't, for the life of him, figure out what possessed the older man to cling to the young man that he has been thus tasked to interrogate but he felt it imperative that said child understand that the person next to him was someone important.
"If you must know that man is the Head of the Consulenza Esterna Della Famiglia. He is known throughout the Underworld as the Young Lion of the Vongola."
Tsuna stared impassively at Checker Face, his face not giving anything away as he resolutely turned his gaze away from the man who was still frantically whimpering explanations at his side as he clutched at Tsuna's sleeve, slobbering all over his loaned suit like a recalcitrant toddler.
"The—what now? Is he important?"
The masked man threw his hands in exasperation over the younger's clear ignorance. "Of course he's bloody important! He occupies a standing equal to the current Vongola Nono—Head of most powerful Famiglia in the world! Now, answer the damn question—what the hell is he to you then?"
Tsuna pursed his lips in irritation before gesturing a thumb towards the man that's been casting him dejected looks ever since his arrival all while babbling inane platitudes in a voice that is better suited for a toddler than a full grown man.
"Well, it just so happened that this very important man of yours is my bloody annoying Father."
"Y-your Father? Iemitsu Sawada is your sire?"
"I assumed. I figured the last name would somehow clue you in, right? Obviously you missed out on the memo." Tsuna deadpanned.
Checker Face's incredulity couldn't be disguised even with the mask that covered his own features. It must've taken the man considerable effort to keep his voice beyond a strangled shriek.
"This man!? The Young Lion of Vongola? The Head of CEDEF and the second most powerful man in the Underworld is your father?"
Tsuna managed to finally liberate his arm from Iemitsu's limpet like grip and he gave the man another exasperated shove as the man tried to cling to his other arm.
"Unfortunately. Much as I would like to disavow the fact, my mother insists on shoving my birth certificate in my face every time I would deny it and his name happens to be on it."
Iemitsu continued babbling, hands waving expansive at his side, face animated as he tried his damnest to make his beloved son see reason. He wrapped his arms around his flailing son and wept copiously, words pouring out in the same sing-song tones usually employed for toddlers.
"Oh my darling boy! Papa has been so busy keeping the world safe but I came as soon as I was able! Darling Tuna-Fish come to Papa and tell him all about your worries. Papa promises to take care of everything!"
"Oh for god's sake will you stop with that disgusting display! Act your damn age for once in your life Old Man!"
The room's occupant watched the exchange like an intense tennis match. The volley of words paused for a moment when Reborn's deep smooth baritone joined the fray.
"Really Iemitsu, no wonder your son's so intractable, with you acting like a loon every time you get near him. You cause as much annoyance as anyone in your organization."
Iemitsu's pleading face slid into a mask of righteous indignation and fury as he leveled a fierce glare and an accusing finger at the face of the smirking tutor who sat staring at him in languid amusement.
"YOU!" he growled malevolently, "Do not speak to me like that you fiend! You stealer of childish affections! You usurper!"
Reborn cocked an imperious eyebrow at the clearly agitated man, tilting his head inquisitively as he drawled, "What are you babbling about now, you fool?"
For the first time Iemitsu stopped clinging to his son and straightening his stance, finally assumed the image and form of a man that could actually be thought of as wielding some kind of office of importance.
He took a step forward and with a pounce grabbed the arms of the chair where the tutor lounged and pushed his face closer to the man seated man, eyes ablaze and voice ringing as he bellowed.
"Don't you take that tone with me! After all, it was you who stole the precious affections of my beloved only son! You took him from my side and now look at us—he doesn't even allow me to embrace him in my arms as is my just and honest right as his beloved sire and father!"
Tsuna glared at his father even as he traded looks with his tutor who only conceded his own sense of chagrin by rolling his eyes before pinching Iemitsu's arms, letting the man howl in pain for a few seconds then making him fall flat on his ass on the floor.
Pulling out his signature Beretta, he pointed it at Iemitsu who paled considerably once he realized what he had done, before murmuring sweetly to the man who was now eyeing him with trepidation and discomfiture.
"If you scream at me like that again there will be more holes in your face than you'd know what to do with Iemitsu. Now, sit your stupid ass down so we can have the rest of this pointless interview over with."
Iemitsu gave the tutor a mulish moue, rubbing gingerly at the red marks on his arms.
"Reborn that hurt!"
"It was meant to Baka-Iemitsu."
The man gave another sniff before lifting a hand and snapping his fingers quickly. Two of the black-suited men who hovered nearby came forward with alacrity and placed an identical wingback chair to the one Reborn was using, bowing in clear deference to Iemitsu, who settled on his seat with surprising grace, before moving back, fading once more into the shadowy corners of the room.
Tsuna watched the entire exchange before he sauntered close to his tutor and father, staring at them both before posing his question to his now sheepish looking sire.
"What are you two talking about? Didn't you choose him to be my godfather?"
"I didn't know he would steal you from me!That wasn't what we agreed upon when I asked him! He was supposed to support you when I couldn't be there!" Iemitsu immediately retorted earning a warning growl from Reborn but he cheerful ignored the glaring tutor.
"That's precisely what I did you whiny boob."
"Well that's just great then!" Tsuna muttered gesticulating irritably at the man who, even now, is staring at him like he wants to pat his head and coo over him. "If that's the kind of instruction you left him with no wonder he stayed with me for seven bloody years!" he snorted derisively. "Know what—hey Reborn—you still owe me a couple of years."
Reborn tossed Tsuna such a long-suffering look of commiseration that Tsuna couldn't help but laugh, causing Reborn to smirk and Iemitsu to stomp his feet in clear protest of his son's clear regard for another man.
"But he wasn't supposed to contact you until I gave him the signal! That's the deal!" Watching his son exchange Iemitsu whined petulantly.
"I didn't know all about that did I or the fact that he was my godfather until later! And besides, it was Mom who hired him to be my tutor. Are you going to blame her too?" he asked
Iemitsu drew himself up like an affronted cockerel, every bit of him shivering with self-righteous outrage. "I would never! Why would I do something as incomprehensible as that?! Lay blame on the feet of my darling angel? For shame! My beloved wife is a goddess! She is blameless of any evil in this world!"
"Yeah, yeah, right. The only evil she ever managed to attract was your lazy, ungrateful ass."
"Tsuuunnnaaaa! You're being mean to Papa again!"
"What do you mean again? I've been mean to you since I realized you were my father! If you'd been around more often than a freaking than a leap year I'd have shown you exactly how mean I can be!"
"What do you mean by that Tssunna! You loved Papa! You adored me—you said so all the time! You wanted to be just like daddy when you were little!" Iemitsu whimpered, surreptitiously casting a glare at Reborn before casting a besotted look at his frowning son who was clearly and thoroughly scandalized by the sight.
"I was three at the time!" Tsuna sputtered in complete chagrin, "And I thought you were actually normal and an adult! Thank god I grew up and discovered what a shame that would be!"
"I am an Adult!" Iemitsu shouted, stomping his feet and clearly unaware of the image he was promoting, much to Reborn's continued amusement. "That tutor must've corrupted you against me! Look at what he made you go through! All this traumatic experiences—you might never recover from it all, my poor darling son!"
Tsuna fired back against the attack on his tutor by bellowing, "And I told you for the hundredth time Old Man—don't call me those disgusting names!" Huffing in indignation he continued his rant, pinning his father with a glare as he waved his hands in agitation, "And he did no such thing! If anyone's to blame, blame those weird people who kept stealing me away like some kind of booby prize! I mean—really! I've been taken and retaken so many times in the span of a single day that I don't even know who are the real the good guys and who are the bad guys since I'm pretty sure I got taken by the cops too! All I want is for someone in this country to start making sense and just tell me what the hell is going on!"
"Perhaps it would be best if I explain?"
The person who spoke was an older man with hair as white as snow perched on an antique leather wingback chair that seemed more like a throne than anything else. Perhaps it was due to the way he sat—straight-backed and poised. Perhaps it was the way he was dressed—clad as he was in understated style, dressed in a beautifully cut pale ash-grey suit with a crimson silk tie that fairly declared his moneyed, privileged background. Perhaps it was the way his large, scarred hands clutched at his intricately detailed and gilded walking cane that looked more like a scepter than something as mundane as a means of aiding locomotion.
Perhaps it was the way he looked—pale, age-lined face with smoothly carved and elegantly rendered features that lent him a distinguished look coupled with eyes the colored of sun-struck ancient gold that compelled the senses of the casual observer to submit to this man's whims and a voice and manner that immediately set one at ease.
"I'm afraid my men jumped to conclusion once they found out you where headed here. They were, I must admit—a tad over-eager to have you come to us. Understandable once the circumstances could be further explained."
The wizened gaze moved towards Tsuna's youthful professor who flushed when he realized that he has gained the attention of nearly everyone in the room. Dino gave Tsuna a cheeky grin and a short wave, much to the mortification of Romario who stood next to him; battering the young professor's hand and muttering softly in reprimand.
"Young Cavallone did not intend for any misunderstanding to occur, I wanted you to know that. He really only intended to bring you here to let you experience the beauty of this eternal city. Alas—it was not quite the kind of impression he or I desired for you to gain about our fair city."
Tsuna looked at the smiling old man down at him intently. Something about the way he tilted his head and the faint rumble of his voice tugged at his memories. Without conscious volition, Tsuna's gaze fell down and his hands reached out to touch one veined, scarred hand and both of them gave out a soft sigh.
"I wonder if you'll indulge my curiosity Signor—? Forgive me, but it would seem that while you know who I am, I cannot claim the same knowledge so I am unable to address you properly."
The old man gave Tsuna another penetrating look before smiling down at him like a benevolent grandfather much amused by the antics of a much-adored and favored grandchild. The image was, oddly, one Tsuna could easily find himself relating to.
"Ah I apologize—how remiss of me." The old man let out a rumbling laugh, "Courtesy—the cornerstone of civilized society, no? My given name is Timoteo. I also go by the appellation of Nono—Vongola Nono, Head of the Vongola Famiglia."
Ah…so this was the man who controlled everyone in this room—the silent, canny king who watched from the shadows as his minions plied him with questions after questions.
"May I ask a question Signor Vongola?"
"You may call me Nono Tsunayoshi. I trust that you know what it means?" The older man gave Tsuna a smile that could only be termed as magnanimous but wary as he was, Tsuna failed to be comforted by it so he was reduced to murmuring inanities to move the conversation along.
"I know two meanings for it. Which of them should I consider sir?"he demurred. His words was met by a bemused smile and a twinkling gaze.
"At least I can commend Young Dino for the thoroughness of his teachings. I am known for one definition. I ask you kindly to use the other to address me."
The man, for reasons known only to himself, did not elaborate and Tsuna did not fully expect him to do so. He gave the old gentleman a nod and posed the question that has been plaguing him since he was awoken to the knowledge that his earlier adventures were meant simply as a means to secure his presence due to this man's desire.
"Consider this question superfluous—but I beg you to indulge my curiosity—exactly how did your men even find out about my coming here when I only agreed to it less than four days ago?"
"Ah…that's a matter easily explained and I assure you—your question is not superfluous at all. I admit it would've surprised me if you hadn't been curios at all. To answer your question, first I must, in the interest of salvaging your faith in Iemitsu, clarify that he has no responsibility for our knowledge of you or your eligibility for this position we are now offering to you."
"No?" Tsuna murmured inquiringly.
"Absolutely not. As the Head and Commander of CEDEF, he has effectively removed himself from the right of succession and under normal circumstances, you as his son—would've been afforded the same courtesy. Indeed, Iemitsu has done all that was possible to prevent such a circumstance from occurring—thus the reason why he has stayed away from home for so long."
"You mean to tell me that my idiot father never intended to bring into contact with any of you or even this country until you've settled the question of your heir and the family inheritance?"
"That's correct. Your own tutor can attest to the fact that he wasn't contracted to train you as the heir-apparent for the Vongola despite the fact that being the Heir-Tutor is his primary function to this Famiglia."
"If what you say is true—"
"Does your insolence know no bound—how dare you question the honor of—!"
"I am not impugning on anyone's honor—merely clarifying matters since the entirety of this mad fiasco emanated from miscommunication. Surely you cannot begrudge me my wariness?"
"Speak your mind freely Tsunayoshi. I do not mind levity as it would—as you state—prevent any further confusion between us."
"Thank you sir." Tsuna looked at the older man that continued to smile at him benevolently and he took a deep breath. "My question is simple—if my father did everything he could—short of abandoning me to a convenient orphanage to conceal the fact that I exist and to prevent me from coming this country and being considered as a successor for inheriting whatever madcap organization this is and I've spent all my life half-way around the world from all of you—then how in the world did you even find out about me?"
"That's quite poetic actually. Destiny is a funny thing is it not Tsunayoshi? Seneca wrote something about it, did he not?"
" 'For the willing, Destiny guides them; the unwilling, Destiny drags them.' ", Tsuna murmured quietly.
Timoteo gave an approving nod. "Rightly so. Do you recall ever answering an ad posted somewhere in your school during your first month there? It would've been something in the nature of an invitation to be part of a research group—that sort of thing?"
Tsuna blinked. Oncee. Twice. Thrice. Tsuna turned towards his tutor who only scowled at him and it made him blink again before he his mouth took over and retorted askance, "Huh? W-what do you—? What has that got to do with anything?"
Staring at him with a wicked twinkle in his canny golden gaze, the older man bestowed on him an indulgent smile before winking, "I'm afraid, my dearest Tsunayoshi, that it has everything to do with it."
FLASHBACK…AGAIN
Namimori University
Namimori Town
Three Months Before the Trip to Italy
The ad looked real enough. Posted on one of the campus' many ubiquitous message boards, it's a wonder he actually noticed it amidst the torn, stained, wrinkled and often abused detritus of free media that passes for communication within the academic community. The advert was small and to the passing multitude fairly unremarkable if not for a few irregularities that tickled ones primitive brain. The parts that dealt with instinct and primal survival and the ones most often ignored.
It was a computer generated announcement that listed a need for a kind of company R&D study that required participants and assistants. The qualifications were not excessively stringent—meaning there was no limit to any majorship or coursework, therefore no elitism regarding what you were studying to become to get in the way; the age bracket was narrow enough to target a certain criteria—freshmen up to junior level only—no one graduating or pursuing master's degree or up doctoral level allowed-which opened up to a nice chunk of the population. The hours offered were flexible and could easily be fitted around a student's usual class schedule—meaning it either begins at the god-awful time of ass-crack of dawn or very late in the graveyard hours when nothing vaguely human or sane should be awake. And most of all, no previous experience or reference necessary for anyone applying. Most of all—the chosen participants would all be paid every end of the week for as long as the study is being conducted. All one needs is to come to the aforementioned location at the set time, take the test, have an interview and wait for a call to confirm that the job is officially yours for the taking.
But perhaps what really caught his attention was the fact that the advert made him laugh. And despite all its inherent straightforwardness and professional tone—Sawada Tsunayoshi was a master at reading between the lines. The advert was more that it seemed. Although it did contain the word 'research assistant' what the job seemed to entail was more like 'lab rat' and "guinea pig" more than general factotum or even babysitter.
So after much discussion with his friends—many of whom were busy too with class and their own part-time jobs—and with the admonition that he had nothing to lose should he try it coupled with a wave of indulgent curiosity and humor, Sawada Tsunayoshi, seventeen and a half years old and practitioner of common sense shed nearly a decade of hard-learned sensed of skepticism and decided to take the plunge.
If he had known back then the firestorm that little advert would bring into his life, he would have taken one look at that benign piece of paper and forced his legs to take him to the furthest corner of the world where he could bury himself in an oubliette hidden from anything even vaguely human.
The Application
The interview certainly left much to be desired and left him even more discombobulated than a heart to heart conversation with his mother during the days she would wax poetic about the great love story that occurred between her and the man who unfortunately shared half his genetic makeup.
It didn't help that the first hurdle was an impromptu medical test that asked them for DNA samples to ensure that they were of the correct criteria for the study. Apparently the company paying for the research was very eager to test across the board and wanted a wide spectrum of possible test subjects.
After allowing his left ring finger to be pricked and small dot of his blood was smeared unto a glass slide by a pleasant faced young nurse, Tsunayoshi found himself ushered into another room where he was handed a clipboard with a sheaf of papers and a black pen and told to fill out the questionnaire while he waited for his turn to be interviewed. It pricked his interest for a moment that he was effectively alone in the luxuriously appointed room but chalked it up as the company's technique for securing that none of the applicants would compromise their data collection.
He glanced at the questionnaire and gamely filled out the minutiae of details pertaining to his name and other statistics when he reached the second sheet of paper and promptly dropped the clipboard. Staring and re-reading the list of questions a couple of times, he still felt as though someone was pulling a giant prank on his behalf but he resolved to be as thorough as possible. He was after all an adult now and he was determined to prove his independence. Even if it meant answering as seriously as possible questions that would've made a ten-year-old him cringe and hope for a natural catastrophe to occur within striking distance of his current location.
QUESTION No. 1 Does your name sound like a random pair of numbers or even a cutesy animal nick/pet name? If so, please indicate your name.
Are these people for real?
Tsunayoshi could feel a vein on his temple beginning to twitch and he had to exert himself mightily not to give in to the urge to simply crumple the paper that was clipped to the board he was handed. With a harrumph of breath, he quickly penned his answer, keeping in mind his actual thought in check lest he accidentally transcribe them down as his actual answers.
Tsunayoshi— (2),(7)—two, nana. That's it. Although to be quite frank, I don't see what's the point of knowing that fact.
QUESTION No. 2 Do you have a morbid fear of fire and flames?
Who doesn't? Maybe except for people with unhealthy fascination with fires as this would make them possible arsonists or pyromaniacs.
As normal as could be expected. Anyone with a sense of self-preservation in their veins would know instinctively to be wary of energies that could be harnessed for both advantage and disaster.
QUESTION No. 3 How well do you deal/ cope with difficult situations?
I try not to get into too much trouble because things and situations like that would necessitate bringing HIM into the picture and no one deserves that.
Well enough or as well as any sensible human being would faced with a less than ideal situation. I suppose this would be a point in my favor since I am not quite despondent or melancholic nor am I relentlessly optimistic like someone on chemical stimulants therefore I can claim advantage due to my relative normality.
QUESTION No. 4 Can you deal with impossible personalities, phobias, fetishes, eccentricities and varied peccadilloes of human kind?
I try my very best to stay away from them? Seriously if you knew what my life is like you wouldn't be asking me this—you'd probably run away screaming wondering why I haven't been committed.
Depends of what is termed as impossible. Everyone is different and standards vary from person to person. Personally I'm pretty easy-going and I try very hard never to judge anyone until I've formed my own impression.
Unless where talking about assorted types of psychopaths or really crazy—committed in an asylum with multiple medications type crazy—then I think I'd rather wait and see what their back-stories like.
QUESTION No. 5 Between wolves and the family who would you go first in a crisis?
Wolves? What is this Animal Planet? Am I applying for a job that might cause me to end up as wolf-bait?
What in the world would perforce me to go to wolves? Unless my entire family suddenly becomes zombies or something completely alien or insane I doubt I would resort to being involved with wolves that may or may not take one look at me and decide I could be dinner. If I run into trouble I might as well call the cops or dial Emergency Services. They're trained for the job aren't they?
At the sight of the next question, the vein that has been throbbing insistently on his temple twitched eagerly and Tsuna wondered if it would still be considered the height of rudeness if he decides to chuck his questionnaire straight into one of the black-suited, dour faced men who ushered him into this small sitting room where he was told to answer the questionnaire and wait his turn for a more formal interview.
QUESTION No. 6 Which of the following enterprises would you find the least/ most objectionable: racketeering, kidnapping, weapons trade, protection, drugs, human trafficking, etc?
Tsuna's heart gave a mild twist at the sight of the mangled paper where his pen scored the formerly pristine surface where his answer was slashed clearly through the thick foolscap.
ALL OF THEM. Are you people insane? There is no way anyone with half an inch of conscience would even agree let alone advocate or support such atrocities! Never mind the clear legal violation—have you people never considered the moral implication for some of the choices you've given here?
QUESTION No. 7 In cases of succession, how would you determine who will become heir?
Scrubbing a hand across his face, Tsuna took a deep breath to better rein in his temper and prepared to vent his spleen on the already creased and torn paper. He figured he could either do that or have his ass tossed out after he assaults the idiots who decided these questions are in any way, shape or form—valid.
I don't know—maybe you could give whoever ends up with the job of being successor a trial run. A trial period wouldn't hurt and it would give the guy who'd end up doing it for keeps a chance to see what he's headed for. I mean, you don't buy cars without a test drive right? Or do a job without some kind of on-site training. Might as well do the same for someone inheriting something. At least you'd know if they're actually qualified for the job, right?
Give it a week or two. Or a month. That's only fair, ne?
END FLASHBACK
Tsuna stared at the jovial older man and couldn't help gaping. "Are you telling me you found me because of a stupid ad?"
"I couldn't well question its efficacy since it did bring you to me, child."
"But it was just a simple advert—it's like thousands of others I've seen around the campus—what makes—oh no! Is that study something you organized? Is that even a real study?" Tsuna sputtered indignantly waving his hands around.
"Oh of course. It's a legitimate study that allows us to scout people with—shall we say, preferred bloodline ability or a rare gift. You have no idea what a magnificent surprise you were for everyone when they found out all about you."
Tsuna could only continue gaping at the cause of his trips fiasco and wondered, in a corner of his still screaming subconscious, if this was how Alice felt when she fell down the rabbit hole and met all the mad inhabitants of Wonderland.
END OF YET ANOTHER FLASHBACK
Present Time...Finally
"Nono!"
"Ah, my beloved Tsunayoshi. How glad I am that you were able to make it today."
Tsuna gave the smiling older man a grin and a cheerful embrace that made the man laugh aloud. A large, beringed hand ruffled his locks and Tsuna allowed the action for a few more moments before reaching up to clasp the aged hand between his.
"Nono, what brings you to Namimori? Is something wrong? Reborn said you wanted to see me."
Nono glanced at the smirking tutor who lounged in one of the room's wingback chairs like a languorous lion soaking up the sun and gently chided the man, "Reborn, must you constantly worry my heir so?"
Reborn waved a languid hand gesturing towards Tsuna as he replied; dark eyes wide and innocent as a newly born foal, "You said you wanted him. I brought him. How is his worry-wart ways and habit of jumping into conclusions my fault?"
Tsuna simply tossed a glowering look at his tutor before turning back to Nono who could only shake his head at the Arcobaleno's flippant nature and stellar acting skills.
"Nono, is there a problem? You wouldn't have flown all the way here if there wasn't anything wrong, right? You're not sick are you?" Tsuna asked quietly.
Nono shook his head and clapped a reassuring hand upon Tsuna's left shoulder, giving it a quick, firm press. "Calm yourself, child. I am quite well. I came here for you."
"For me?"Tsuna asked. "What do you mean?"
But Timoteo merely smiled before ushering Tsuna inside another room in the lavish mansion that he has been brought to. It didn't reassure him in the slightest when he noted that Reborn was following docilely behind, eyes dark and fathomless; no visible grin or smirk painting the customary corners of his thin lips.
It certainly did nothing for his nerves when he noticed that once again, there was the masked figure of Checker Face waiting for him as the man sat behind a huge partner's table like a grinning, demented lawyer from hell.
With a grimace and a wave of his hand Tsuna gestured towards the still grinning masked man and declared, "If he's here to interrogate me again, I'll save you the trouble and tell you right here and now that I'd rather strip off every inch of my skin rather than do that again."
Checker Face leered down at the wary-looking Tsunayoshi before trilling, "My, my…the little Tsunayoshi sure has a way with words."
"I have a way with my fists too, if you care to try." Tsuna bit out. He glared at nearly every occupant in the room save Nono and Reborn (he was pissed not suicidal) before turning back to face the masked man that was still fluttering in front of him. "So tell me, Masked Man-san, what brings you to our lovely side of the world?"
Checker Face beamed at Tsuna before whipping out with a flourish a steel file case and extracting a single, brilliantly white sheet of paper which he then placed in front of Tsuna with a wicked grin that was evident even through the shadowed depths of his mask.
Tsuna stared a man for a full minute before his eyes fell unto the sheet he had brought out. Tsuna blinked. He stared and read the words contained therein. Blinked. Read. Stared. He did this a couple of times more before he took a deep breath, lifted his eyes and then opened his mouth to let off a below that caused half the men in the room to reach into their jacket and nearly pull out a weapon.
"What in god's bloody hell is this?!"
The room echoed with Tsuna's clearly incensed voice causing Reborn to chuckle as many of the much older guards who accompanied Nono jumped at the unexpected noise the young man was apparently capable of producing.
Nono, in a bid to play mediator opened his mouth to explain but Checker Face was determined not to be outshined by Tsuna's display of temper.
"What you asked for. What you recommended was a suitable solution for an heir-to-be. This contract will win for you the years you wish for. Consider this a test—a practical demonstration of skills that promises to be useful in your future as leader of the Famiglia."
Tsuna glared balefully at the man even as he started a mental countdown. It was a technique that served him well whenever he had to deal with his father's infrequent and unwelcomed presence.
"So, in other words what you're saying is that this contract is some sort of stay of execution? Some kind of show and tell that I have to put myself through so that you could sit there hemming and hawing before deciding if I could finish the rest of my schooling before I surrender my entire life to this madness you call an inheritance?"
"That's—that's exactly what this is. I'm glad you understand the terms very well." Checker Face was not mollified in the least at the sight of the young man who was clearly gaining quick control of his temper. It certainly did nothing for his mood when Tsunayoshi gave him a derisive snort.
"I learned how to speak bullshit from the very best. I was raised by a woman who believed the man she married was away looking for romance and adventure for the better part of fifteen years and sired by man who doesn't understand the word responsibility if it came wrapped in a neon sign big enough to be viewed from space. I assure you, gentlemen—" Tsuna scoffed, his disdain evident for all to see, "I can speed-read through the legalese enough to know that this contract doesn't guarantee me that those hard-won years of mine would be conflict and interference free."
Nono, perhaps sensing the mounting hostility cast a quelling glance at the amused, albeit silent Arcobaleno, before turning towards the agitated young man who was evidently set on drilling a hole through the mask of his equally aggravating masked companion.
"Decimo—please consider. You wish for us to be truthful and we are honoring that request. Even with every safeguard set in place, there really is no way we can promise that Famiglia business won't bleed into your mundane existence. We can try to the very best of our abilities—we will do all that is possible but life can only be planned up to a point."
Tsunayoshi lips thinned in exasperation but he gave a short conceding bow. "Fine, I concede that. Your contract doesn't stimulate a time line or a set of clear tasks for me to accomplish. I want it written on black and white exactly for how long this test run of yours will proceed and what are the expectations from me and what are the consequences and penalties I should be made aware of should I be unable to abide by your contract."
"You are a very astute, careful young man." Checker Face hissed.
Tsuna gave his erstwhile audience a calculating look before folding his hands on his lap and giving them a small smirk while his eyes cast a quick look at his amused Tutor.
"Again, gentlemen, you display an astounding amount of condescension for someone intent on getting my agreement. You persist on thinking me naïve, so let me disabuse you of that idea right here and now. Let me make it plain—I have spent a considerable amount of my formative years being tutored by a hitman who displays an impressive case of OCD whenever the issue of his reputation is even subtly implied to be less than flawless—so I assure you—there is no need to play ignorant with me. I do paranoid cynicism with the very best of them. Indeed, I do pragmatic skepticism extremely well all by my lonesome, so why don't you just cut to the chase and tell me—in essence—what this contract would entail."
"This will be your test Tsunayoshi. You will be tasked with getting your Inheritance Document signed on by the members of the Inner Circle."
Tsuna blinked. He looked at Reborn who was now sporting a truly worrisome look of sheer delight.
"Meaning?"
This time neither Timoteo nor Checker Face responded. Instead it was the familiar and altogether too-tickled tune of his Tutor who spoke.
"It means, Dame Tsuna that it's time to call in the wayward and lost lambs, my boy. It's finally time to gather all of the family. You're going bounty hunting, idiot student."
"Oh you have got to be kidding me."