Slow down
We're losing the meaning of words now.
Quiet the noise 'cause we've made
A mountain of minuscule things.

He didn't know when he'd finally drifted off the night before. He wasn't actually convinced that he did any sleeping at all until his eyes forced themselves open, exhaustion still causing them to feel heavy as early daylight threatened to peek through the curtains. They swayed in the breeze in a comforting fashion - the true essence of home and a sweet reminder that Emma knew he liked to sleep with the window open.

She was always rather sneaky about acquiring such knowledge, the coy curve of her lips never giving away much when she observed his preferences for things. It made what was left of his heart swell and he settled into the relaxation the dim dawn was offering.

He turned carefully, the fact that he'd dozed off in his regular clothes making it difficult to do so. He'd barely grown into the idea of a modern wardrobe when he'd traded it all for his Dark One attire. The sweater was his favorite color and one Henry had been excited to coax him into buying. The material was soft and as much as he knew Emma liked his leather, there was something insanely comfortable about the way she snuggled into his chest when he wore it. She had a way with that - with making him feel relaxed and wanted, even when self certainty was out of reach.

She'd proven that again when he'd shown up on her - well, their doorstep the previous night.

"This was my favorite part about the house too," she said softly, her hair pulled over her shoulders in those blonde tangles. "It makes me think of you."

She'd retrieved her offered glass of rum faster than he'd expected, only to return to find him making use of the telescope in the front room. The night was several shades of dark and it wasn't easy to see the harbor with the lack of illumination, but he liked knowing it was there. It was part of home for him - the sounds of the sea and the comforting calm of the horizon. He'd missed it almost as much as he'd missed them. Almost.

"Sort of a selling point I guess," he shrugged, biting his lip as he took the glass she held out for him. "Even now, there's just….something soothing about it I suppose. I mean, not that I need-"

"We don't have to talk about it, Killian," she told him gently, noticing the way he'd started to stumble over his words. "We don't have to talk about anything yet - unless you want to."

"The idea of you being patient is quite different," he commented, a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. "The Emma Swan I know is very 'jump first and be asked questions later'."

"I guess I kind of owe you," she smirked, furrowing her eyebrows. "You've always been that way with me. 'All the time in the world' is what you said once I think."

"Aye," he replied, a slight haunting in his tone. "I did."

It terrified him to think of how close they'd come to not being able to honor his patient promise.

"I'm sorry it took me so long to get….here."

Emma's voice drifted off as she looked around the room, emphasizing the location she was referring to. Killian allowed his teeth to press into his lower lip as he watched her insecurity take hold of her posture, her shoulders slumping slightly and her eyes turning a glassy green.

"I'm sorry I almost didn't make it here at all, love," he almost whispered. "Thank you for making sure that I did."

"Yeah, I….guess I had to," Emma sighed, her head tilting to land on his shoulder as they looked out the window. "Man of honor, right?"

"Aye, Swan," he exhaled, placing a gentle kiss against her hair. "I'm going to do my best."

"Just be you," she said in return. "Just be here."

"As you wish, love," he smiled softly, breathing in her scent as her arms wrapped around his waist. "For as long as you'll have me."

The daylight was arriving slower than normal it seemed and the cool of the night hours hung in the space around him. The sky outside was slightly dreary with the air fresh and quiet. It was much different than the red haze and gloom he'd trudged through in the Underworld and it bothered him that this life was the one he was struggling to adjust to.

There had to be a way to make it easier.

He drew a silent breath as he turned sideways a little more. There she was - his reason, his savior, his Emma.

She was the way.

His eyebrows knitted carefully together as he blinked clarity into his exhausted vision. She was unfairly beautiful in the dull illumination of the room, her hair falling over her shoulders in long waves. The hand she'd been using to keep hold of his ring rested near her face on the pillow as her breathing remained steady. Her eyes were closed gently, her long eyelashes flush against her cheeks as she slept and Killian allowed himself a moment to predict what shade of green they might be when she eventually woke up.

They'd be breathtaking and bold - just as they always were. He hoped they'd be that lighter hue, the one they held when she was truly happy. He'd been fortunate enough to see that color several times before they'd lost one another to the darkness, mostly during instances when she'd been poking fun at his lack of modern knowledge or when she'd asked him to join her for lunch at the diner with Henry. Those were the eyes that had pulled him in a million times and the ones he'd been hoping he could drown in for eternity - as opposed to the river Hades had threatened him with.

That was a green he hoped he'd never have to see again.

Killian looked up to the ceiling for a moment, trying to will away the memory of the nightmare that had pulled him from a restless sleep only hours ago. He'd been battling the images of that moment since they set foot back in this realm and his breath shook slightly as he squeezed his eyes shut.

It wasn't going away.

He was shivering. He was shaking, his body rigid as the tremors set in and the sound of grinding metal rolling over itself grated his ears. Most of his body was numb and lifeless, his pain heightened only recently when he'd allowed himself some humanity and hope that they might be coming for him. The blood rolled down his face as he fought for stable breath.

She wasn't there. Nobody was coming to save him.

"Now I want you to think about why you're here."

The voice was amused and light, an accent of victory woven between the condescending words. He'd been trying to block it out for a while now, but ignoring the man who owned the sarcastic tone had only led him here - wrapped in rusty chains and strung up over a river that seemed to scream his name in a violent whisper no one else could hear.

"You tried to escape. You freed another prisoner. You failed to do what I ask."

The reasons piled on top of one another, making his mind blur with a dizziness that begged for closed eyes. Hades was loving the opportunity to list his long, embellished line of grievances, but the only thing Killian could focus on was what had really led him to this position.

It's what he had chosen. He had asked to die a hero - he had just never imagined it would be like this. Then again, there was no way any of them could have known.

"But do you know the most important reason why?"

"I couldn't-" he sputtered, blood and saliva falling from his mouth as he tried to bite back the agony "-begin to guess."

"Hope! You and your colleagues brought contraband hope into my world and that is strictly forbidden," Hades explained, pointing a dramatic finger at him. "Despite some creative beatings, I can still see hope in your eyes. Now I would like that to be gone before you reach the water…."

The sounds of the crank moving the chains set his pain back into escalation and he groaned as the metal clung to him, constricting him completely as he was lowered toward the demonic body of water below. Blood trickled down his lip from his teeth as he fought for consciousness, his will to keep his wits slowly diminishing with each inch that he dropped.

"You have interfered with my carefully cultivated existence and now, I am going to hurt you."

He cringed as Hades pulled him closer by the collar, the chains screeching as they moved. His heart was pounding in his ears as proper breath struggled in and out of his lungs. He just wanted it to end.

"Then I'm going to collect your friends and I'm going to hurt them," Hades threatened, his voice harsh and humored. "So there will be no one left to save you."

Nobody was here. It didn't matter. His thoughts circulated in a confused manner as he kept his eyes stubbornly open, trying to remain brave and stoic in the presence of a man who seemed to have taken notes from the devil. His vision went blurry as his head wavered, the blood loss starting to weaken him further.

"Feel free to go….mad."

So he did - to say the very, very least.

His eyes shot open wide, his ragged breath meeting the room as he realized his forehead was painted with a cold sweat that sent chills racing down his spine. He didn't know how or when he'd fallen back into a tormented sleep, but he knew immediately upon waking that he couldn't let it happen again. He inhaled hard, battling the flashes of the fractured past in his tangled mind as tears gathered at the corner of his scorching bloodshot eyes. He pleaded with his soul to forget the way the terrorized dream ended and the way it created the unstable plateau of fear in every nerve in his body.

The ending was always the same. The chains screeched and he sucked in a final gasp of air, only to have the sound of her devastated and extremely broken yell meet his ears before the water overwhelmed him. His fall into the abyss was accompanied by the last thing he heard - the cracking noise of hope lost.

Killian! No-

He blinked hard, his head pressed deep into the pillow as he shoved away the demons in a failing manner. He knew it was false. It was wrong. It wasn't what really happened - no, she'd saved him. She had brought him home to their bed and the feel of her warm hands holding his uncertain ones. He was alive. They were together now - but couldn't let her see him like this. He wasn't about to leave her. He'd vowed to never stop fighting for them.

But in that tortured instant, he had to get out of there.

Killian rose fast, careful not to wake her as his trembling knees carried him to the doorway. He didn't dare look back - he knew full well he'd allow himself to crumble if he did. Emma had given everything and risked her own life for his. She didn't need to witness the emotional breakdown he was about to have.

His feet slammed against the pavement, the sound of his sneakers slapping the ground beneath as he ran. He wasn't sure how he made it to the grassy water's edge - he seemed to move automatically as the chilled air of dawn surrounded him. Their relationship had always had the sea as the backdrop and he pressed his lips together when he realized that might be what had brought him here. Staring out at the still, silently glassy surface, his mind reeled through those moments - the ones where Emma had displayed her carefully constructed emotional walls and he'd allowed himself to fall for her anyway.

I thought you didn't care about anyone but yourself.

Maybe I just needed reminding that I could.

What happened during this past year that you're not telling me.

No matter how much you wish you could go back to your old life, you can't.

Don't you care about them - or anyone in this town?

Of course I care.

The slight sea breeze met his cheeks with a cold twinge, his face reddening as he found his stable breath again. He allowed his senses to absorb the scenery - the swaying trees, the barely audible sound of moving water, the distant call of seagulls from the direction of the docks. It almost felt like home. It almost felt right.

"I hoped I'd find you here."

The voice was quiet and close, the words prompting his head to turn until his eyes fell on her. She was dressed simply, still wearing the black pants and loose fitting t-shirt she'd fallen asleep in. Her boots were the tall black ones she'd chased away many a villain in and her hair was still slightly messy from her short slumber. Her shoulders were covered in a light blue flannel shirt, one he recognized as his that she'd borrowed one night before falling asleep in his arms aboard the Jolly Roger. He watched her pull the fabric down over her fingers in a fidgeting motion. He couldn't help the way his heart swelled.

He always knew she had ulterior motives when she'd insisted he purchase that shirt. In this case, he couldn't find it in himself to mind.

"I guess it means you're still predictable-" she continued, swallowing heavily. "-even after everything."

"Aye," he replied after a minute, his stare locking with hers. "An open book I suppose."

"Yeah it would appear so," she shrugged, a half smile tugging at her lips. "I guess I thought you might find it calming - the water I mean."

Killian froze with a gasp, his legs a little weak as he listened to her repeat a slight variation of the words he'd once said to her in the presence of the horizon. She'd come here to find him - to comfort him. She'd didn't want him to be alone.

"How'd you know?"

"You are like clockwork, Killian," she smiled softly, rocking on her heels and grasping the ring hanging from the chain around her neck. "But this helped too."

"It works….like that?"

"It helped me find you once before," she nodded, walking slowly across the grass. "I thought it might be able to do it again."

She looked hesitant as her fingers held tight to the piece of jewelry, tangling the chain as she moved. Her eyes were filled with a slight sadness and their green color pulled him in without another thought. God, she was beautiful. He wondered briefly how long it had been since he'd told her so.

"Swan, you look…."

"I know."

He missed those moments. He missed the banter and the neverending instances of shameless charm and flirting. He missed that look she gave him - well, every look she gave him. As much as he wasn't sure he was allowed to, he missed them.

"It's okay, you know," she said, pausing a few feet from him. "You don't….need to feel guilty."

He furrowed his eyebrows at her comment, biting his lower lip as he realized she wasn't upset that he'd left. She understood - or at least she was trying to. He was almost positive that he didn't deserve that.

"How can you be like that?"

"Like what?"

"Just….patient," he breathed after a moment, sadness wrapping around his slight stutter. "So willing to wait - and hopeful?"

"Well," she replied, folding her arms as she resumed moving toward him. "Because you'd do it for me."

He saw it then - the love she hadn't ever let go of. It had taken them each a long time to express it and to simply say it and it had nearly been ripped away in an instant at the hands of destructing the darkness. He never dreamed he'd be here again - he hadn't allowed himself to hope for it.

But he was - and bloody hell, he loved her more than he ever had before.

"I meant what I said, Killian," she promised, her eyes watering as she reached him. "I don't want to lose you."

That moment they'd endured by the lake not long before echoed in his mind, the feel of the sword being driven through his body not hard to recall. He saw the memory flash in her eyes too and the glossy state of her gaze prompted his hands to reach tentatively for hers. She relaxed slightly at his touch and held tight to his fingers as he pulled her a little closer. Her hands found his chest after a moment and her palms flexed, the left one finding the steady rhythm of his heart. The slightest smile crossed her lips and her eyes fell closed in relief.

He never imagined his pulse would bring her such comfort, but after everything they'd fought through, he knew exactly why it did.

"I'm sorry," she whispered gently, their foreheads falling together in slow motion. "I just….need to feel that sometimes. I need to remember it's real. I….I spent too long imagining an ending where it might not be."

"But it was you who saved me, Swan," he reminded her, his arms coming around her waist. "So who's the hero now?"

"I think it's always been you, Killian," she responded, a soft laugh escaping her. "It's always going to be you."