Chapter 2 – No Happier Bloke
The next morning, Caracticus, the kids, Julian, and Gina piled into Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and rode to the Scrumptious estate to pick up Truly on their flight to London.
So as not to cause too much stir at the sight of a flying car, Caracticus landed just outside the city limits and drive in the rest of the way. The trek concluded in a nice, residential area of town near a public park.
"Are you sure we can find him here?" Truly asked Caracticus as they all exited the car.
"No," said Caracticus, "but if we have no luck here, I'm sure there's someone who can direct us."
They were soon drawn to the merry sound of a harmonica, towards the park, followed by the sound of other instruments. A crowd was gathered and, in their midst, was a man wearing a one-man-band suit of instruments—who was the spitting image of Caracticus.
"There he is, the old boy," Caracticus grinned with amusement.
"My goodness, the resemblance is uncanny," Truly marveled.
"Identical twin," Caracticus nodded.
Bert had not yet seen his brother's entourage join the crowd, but turned around to sound of rhythmic tapping on the metal park bench behind him. There, he saw a finely-dressed man with an usually long nose doing a tap dance routine on the bench and stealing his audience. Julian finished up the routine by jumping forcefully to the stone street and tapping on the stones as well, until he stopped with one arm above him and one across him, like a Spanish dancer.
Applause erupted from the bystanders. Bert tipped his cap, but also glanced skeptically at Julian.
"You were marvelous," an older woman came up to the strange-looking stranger.
"Oh, go on," Julian batted his hand.
She held out a few coins in her gloved hand.
"Oh, no, thank you, I'm independently wealthy." Julian tipped his hat. He saw Bert coming over and added, "But this fellow here looks like he could use it."
Bert said to Julian, "So, uh, you're quite gifted with those feet—"
"Hey, brother!" Caracticus hollered with open arms.
"Caracticus!" Bert exclaimed with as much mirth and embraced his brother, causing a few of the instruments on his person to go off. "Oh…pardon the outfit."
"That's a contraption after my own heart, right there," Caracticus said.
"Runs in the family," Bert added.
"And this is my bride-to-be, Truly Scrumptious."
"A pleasure, ma'am. Congratulations to both of you."
"We came to London to invite you to the wedding."
"Well!" Bert gasped, then looked greatly humbled. "I'd be honored!"
"By all means, we must have you play at our reception, Bert," Truly said.
Bert looked stunned. "You want…me…to-to play…?"
"Of course. You're a wonderful entertainer. I'm sure it would be great fun for our guests."
Bert blushed a little. "Awh…well…your ladyship is too kind… But how can I refuse?"
"We won't need a band," Jeremy grinned, "Uncle Bert can play all the instruments at once."
"Heh-hey, Jeremy, Jemima," Bert chuckled, giving each of them a hug. "You two sure have grown a lot since last Christmas. Or is it just my imagination?"
"We've been on adventures!" Jemima said.
"That must be it."
"Daddy built us this great motor car!" Jeremy said. "It sails and flies—and everything!"
"I can imagine," Bert said. "There's nothing this ole bloke can't do. I can't wait to see what he's come up with next."
"Come along for a ride," Caracticus said.
"Delighted. But since you came all this way, why don't you stay and I'll show you the sights? And I'll treat you to a mighty fine show tonight by a few buddies of mine. Absolutely free."
"I like the sound of that," Caracticus said. "How about the rest of you?"
Affirmation resounded from all.
"And, uh, this joker with you?" Bert pointed to Julian.
"Oh, this Julian Fletcher, a friend of the family."
"Sorry to have stolen your show, Mr. Potts," Julian said as he shook the man's hand. "Your tunes were so catchy I just couldn't help myself."
"Well, I won't fault you for being a fan, then," Bert replied.
"And this is Gina," Caracticus continued, "Julian's sweetheart."
"Top of the mornin' to ya, miss," Bert tipped his cap.
But before the lot could make it to the car, Bert spotted three familiar faces headed their way.
"Well, whaddaya know?" he said. When he beckoned to them, boy and girl responded enthusiastically and ran ahead of the woman. They each gave Bert a hug.
"It's so good to see you again, Bert," the woman said.
"Likewise," Bert replied. "Now what might be the adventure today?"
"Mary Poppins is taking us to the park," Jane said.
"To the park?" Bert teased with a smile. "Not if I know Mary Poppins. When you're with Mary Poppins, the most amazing things begin to happen."
"That's the same with Chitty," Jeremy said.
"So I've noticed," Julian muttered. "Free-spirited car."
"Oh, Bert, you exaggerate," Mary protested in a very collected manner.
"Take right now for instance," Bert said. "You all have a fine and rare opportunity to meet me family."
Warm greetings were exchanged between the two parties. But when Mary turned to Julian, her pleasant countenance faltered. Still, by the time their hands touched for a shake, Mary had recovered her composure. "How do you do?" she said, her bland tone belying her polite smile.
"Very well, and you?" Julian replied.
"Getting along quite splendidly, thank you."
"So, you are Mary Poppins. I've heard stories, but hardly believed them."
"Well, I suppose that's for the better. Helps to maintain a little privacy, you know." In a quite distracted fashion, Mary looked eager to disengage from the conversation, smiling at the other members of the group searching for eye contact that would draw her elsewhere.
The Chitty ride was postponed to join Mary and the Banks children for their stroll in the park, giving Bert a chance to show off the city to his guests. Julian and Gina lagged behind, flocked by the four children.
"Is he your nanny?" Jane asked.
Julian scoffed with a snort of self-jest.
Gina sputtered loudly in laughter.
"That'll do, Gina," he said.
"He's not our nanny," Jeremy said. "He's our friend."
Gina and Julian shared a flattered chuckle.
Gina mumbled to him, "Ever thought you'd hear a child say that?"
"Hnh, never," Julian mumbled back. "I never thought I'd even care to hear a child say that."
The group ahead looked back, realizing they were lacking in members. Julian was kneeling on the ground with the children gathered around him while he taught Michael Banks a sleight of hand vanishing trick.
Mary Poppins inquired with narrowed gaze and her typical controlled manner, "Who is that man?"
"A friend of the family," Truly quickly said. "Jeremy and Jemima find him so entertaining. He and Miss Bergenkraft, as a couple, are staying at the Potts home for the wedding."
Mary smiled politely, but stiffly. "Well, he seems delightful. If you'll excuse me, the Bankses do trust me to look after their children." Mary walked towards the lagging group. She drew all gazes as she said, "Jane, Michael, don't dawdle, now. Please keep up with the group. Spit spot."
With much enthusiasm, Michael replied, "I learned to do magic, Mary Poppins!"
But Mary remained unmoved, as usual. "Michael, cheap parlor tricks are hardly becoming of a young man of your stature."
"'Cheap parlor tricks?'" Julian said slowly, with an unfriendly smirk, as he stood to full height. "So says the rumored 'magical nanny.'"
"At least my tricks do not deceive. Child Catcher."
Julian pulled his head back with a look of wide-eyed indignation.
Gina, sliding her hand protectively around Julian's biceps, nearly snarled at the other woman, like a guard dog. It certainly went off in her head, but she had the awareness and good form to keep it there. Nonetheless, her warning gaze communicated the sentiment silently.
Julian squinted at Mary suspiciously and muttered, "How do you know about me?"
"As guardian of family harmony, I should think it my business to know where it is being threatened."
"I'll have you know," Gina with a smooth firmness, trying not to bare her teeth too much, "Julian was instrumental in freeing the children of Vulgaria from the persecution of the royalty. And the children love him for it."
Jeremy, picking up on Gina's tension, spoke up. "Julian is a good man, Ms. Poppins. And he knows lots of things."
"Yes!" added his sister, encouraged by his boldness. "He's not scary at all. He's quite lovely."
Keeping his gaze on Mary Poppins, Julian said calmly, with a slight smile, "Thank you, children."
Summarily defeated by the girlfriend and the Potts children, Mary Poppins once again produced her polite, stiff smile and gave a slight nod. "Very well, Mr. Fletcher. I commend your change of priorities. As you were."
Julian acknowledged with a return nod.
"Is everything alright?" Caracticus said, joining them, Truly and Bert in tow.
"All is well," Mary Poppins affirmed, though her perpetual calm made her hard to read. "On we go."
Still, as Mary, Jane, and Michael joined Bert and Truly on the stroll, Caracticus made final eye contact with Julian and Gina.
Gina winked coolly and gave a brief, rapid nod and a thumbs-up. But, still, she added a gesture drawing an invisible line between her suspicious gaze and Mary Poppins.
Caracticus wasn't quite sure what she meant, but nodded in acknowledgement and joined the group ahead.
Gina tapped Julian's chest with the back of her hand and tilted her head up. When he lowered his head to hers, she whispered something to him.
Jeremy skipped up to his mother-to-be and father, drawing attention by virtue of wearing Julian's top hat, which was far too big for him. Caracticus and Truly chuckled.
"Well, you're just a right dapper gentlemen, aren't you, Jeremy?" Caracticus said. "Suppose we ought to go out on the town tonight."
"They grow up so fast," Truly jested.
Mary Poppins turned around to see Julian and Gina coming up the rear, hand in hand, chuckling with each other like newlyweds. Julian was holding Jemima on his hip with the other arm. Noticing Mary's gaze in his periphery, he turned to look at her with a smug smile. Mary turned away with a slight eye roll.
But, then, more grace was extended to them that they didn't plan. "Er, Julian," said Caracticus, "there won't be room for all of us in Chitty…would you and Gina mind watching Jeremy and Jemima while Truly and I take the rest for a ride?"
"Not a problem. You know I can keep track of kiddiewinkies."
"Well, I don't want to take any more home than the two I've got, okay?"
"No worries."
"You two behave for Julian and Gina, now, you hear me?" Caracticus said to his kids.
"Yes, Daddy," they answered.
"Of course, we will," Jemima added.
"Wonderful. We'll meet you back here." Caracticus gave him a friendly slap on the shoulder and lead the others away to where Chitty was parked.