A/N The next chapter is up! I know you all love it! hehe. I think alerts are down, very annoying! But thanks for those who reviewed anyway!!! This is set in the present, whereas the prologue was the past! I'm sure you all got that anyway...

Chapter One

So what does it all mean

To find someone who makes you cry inside?

Alarm clocks. The invention of someone very very evil, surely. The shrill beeping pierces through any dream, tearing open eyes. But when the first thing you see in the morning is Neela Rasgotra you don't hate alarm clocks quite as much. That's how Tony Gates felt waking up one dull Chicago morning. He gave a smile at the sleeping figure beside him, still sleeping despite the annoying buzzing sound coming from her alarm clock.

"Neela," he whispered, "Your alarm clock is going off."

"Mmm," Neela mumbled, "I'm up, I'm up."

Tony chuckled. "Sure you are."

Neela opened her eyes, "Morning."

"Your alarm?"

"Oh... right." She turned over and switched it off. "That's better," she added.

"So, who sets their alarm when they have the morning off?"

"Someone who doesn't like to waste the day away sleeping," Neela said with a smile.

Tony grinned, "Well, we wouldn't want to waste any of your precious time, Doctor Rasgotra."

"You'd better not," Neela said, "I'm going to take a shower."

She climbed out of bed, grabbing a robe off the back of the door.

"I think I'll join you," Tony said, still grinning.

Across the city there was a couple who didn't have the time to be quite as leisurely. And yet they still were.

"Ray, we're going to be late!" Katie said, laughing as Ray jumped around the room trying to put his trousers on. She was already dressed, she had been for the past half an hour, she even had her coat on. "You're useless."

Ray gave her a grin. "I'll be ready in a minute. You go on if you want to."

Katie pretended to head for the door, but Ray grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him. "You said I could go," she said, smiling up at him.

"Yeah well, you can't."

"You're such a kid!"

"I know, I know," he said, placing a kiss upon her lips. "But I'm adorable right?"

As Ray ran round the apartment looking for his van keys Katie leaned against the door studying his room. It was pretty usual for a guy. Messy, clothes everywhere, bits of paper strewn across the floor, a guitar leaned against the wardrobe. There were pictures in frames on the chest of drawers, she knew he'd been given them all as presents, it would never occur to Ray to go out and get pictures developed, never mind buy frames, but the fact he kept them on his drawers showed he cared about the people. There was one of his parents and him when he was about ten. One of him and his brother. A family shot at Thanksgiving. There was one of baby Joe that Abby had given to most of the ER staff. And then, not in a frame, just leaning against the mirror was one of him and Neela, a polaroid taken of them sitting on the sofa, her head leaning on his shoulder, him grinning, her with a small but contented smile.

Katie gave a smile. Ray certainly was adorable. Smoking hot she'd described him as once. And for the time being that was great. But she knew this wasn't forever. Right now he wanted her, but deep down she knew that she wasn't the one for him. There was a story she'd stepped unknowingly into, and she wouldn't stand in the way of it. For now though, Ray wanted her.

"You ready?" he asked, slightly breathless.

"Yes, I've been ready for hours!" Katie said, smiling and forgetting her previous trail of thought. The present was what was important. Not the past of the future. She closed the door to his room, glancing once more at the photos.

In the van they blasted music and sang along, as was their usual morning ritual. Ray smiled at the girl sitting next to him, singing her heart out. He liked her so much. But he knew there was more. He couldn't tell why he didn't feel more for her, he'd shared more with her than he had with... some people. But still a part of him held back. They'd been dating for two months, as far as the ER knew, though it had actually been closer to five months. He turned back to the road, and started singing. He didn't need to think about his feelings. And not thinking about certain people from his past would only help his feelings for the people in his present develop.

"It's great, I mean, I'm really happy, I am."

"But...?" Abby asked, shaking a sachet of sugar into her coffee. Her and Neela were sitting in a café round the corner from County, Abby was on a break and Neela had a bit of time before she started.

"But," Neela said, with a sigh. "It feels like there should be something... more."

"More? Like what?"

Neela shrugged, "I don't know. I'm making something out of nothing aren't I?"

Abby smiled, "It kinda sounds that way. Look, on what level is this "more"? Physical?"

"Definitely not," Neela said, blushing. "No it's... I don't know. It just doesn't feel... perfect."

"Perfect?" Abby laughed. "When have you ever had perfect?"

"I haven't... that's the point. Like you and Luka, you're perfect together."

"No, honey, we're not. We argue, we get on each others nerves. It's not perfect."

"But you're perfect for each other. It's not the arguments. It's... Oh I don't know what I'm talking about, just ignore me," Neela said, shaking her head.

"I will," Abby said, smiling. But the conversation kept haunting her thoughts. She had a feeling she knew what Neela meant. She had a feeling she knew who Neela was thinking about, even when Neela didn't know it herself.

"So Barnett, how are you?"

Ray gave Abby raised eyebrows over the chart he was updating. "Um... I'm alright. You?"

"Oh you know," Abby said, brushing off the question. "You and Katie are going out right?"

"Yes," Ray said, his face still a picture of puzzlement.

"I see. See you around then."

"Uh huh..." Ray shook his head at her retreating figure. What was with her?

"Barnett, I need you to sign off on this chart."

Ray's face turned into an instant scowl. Gates. Just what he needed. "I'm finished Gates, get someone else to do it."

"Aw come on man, you're here anyway."

Ray turned round, "I said get someone else to do it. I am not signing your chart, ok?" He knew he was being unnecessarily pissy, but there was just something about Gates that rubbed him up the wrong way.

Gates raised his eyebrow but didn't say anything, which only served to get Ray even more angry.

"You got something to say?"

"Nothing at all," Gates said, turning away from Ray. Ray slammed his chart down on the desk, just as Katie walked up with both of their coats.

"What was all that about?" she asked.

"Nothing," Ray said moodily.

"Right. Nothing." Katie shook her head. "What is it with you and him?"

"Nothing!" Ray repeated, even more angrily. "Look, you go on, I've got lots of paperwork to catch up on. I think I'll just eat dinner here. I'll see you later."

"Well..." Katie was going to protest, but saw how set Ray's jaw was as he stared furiously at the chart in front of him. "Fine. I see. I'll see you later."

"See you."

As she walked off Ray glanced up, feeling a little ashamed. He shouldn't have taken that out on her. He grabbed a pile of his charts, his coat, and headed up to the roof. He needed to get out of here.

A/N Hope you liked! Review!