Chapter 2

Kate had been having an awful day.

Castle had seen the signs. She was walking a little quicker than usual. Her voice was a little strained. She'd been too quiet, only briefly giving him a tight smile when he walked in. She'd faintly smiled at one joke today – one, and he'd considered himself to be in fine form – and not even acknowledged the others. He knew she'd gotten a papercut earlier, she'd spilled her coffee, and the slight pinch in her forehead and squint of her eyes seemed to suggest she had a headache. And he was pretty sure he'd seen something in her pocket when she went to the ladies' room.

But that still didn't quite explain it. Ignoring the slight creepiness he felt at being so comfortably aware of her cycle (he could tell immediately whenever it was 'that time'), he didn't think that was quite it. The anniversary of Johanna's murder was four months, two weeks and a day away, so that wasn't it either. He wasn't sure. He just knew she was having a horrible day.

Compounding it was the fiery upbraiding she'd gotten from Gates after lunch, during which she'd only picked at her food. One of the uniforms at the scene yesterday, a rookie, had accidentally contaminated a piece of evidence. It now appeared that this piece was crucial. So a seriously displeased Gates let Beckett have it.

But the worst part, Castle realized as he sat outside helplessly and watched, was that Beckett didn't say a word. Kate was always defiant, always strong-willed. But now, nothing. She stood motionless, stone-faced, giving no reaction other than a tight jaw to the vicious cuts at her competence, her intelligence, her entire career. She just took it.

She walked out past him without looking at him, and he watched, his stomach knotted, as she headed for her desk, grabbed her notes, and went into interrogation, where her suspect had just arrived. He moved to follow her, but she paused at the door, her face blank. "Castle – could you not? Just this time."

Normally he'd argue, but today, he just nodded.

And naturally, the one day he let her go in alone was the one day there was a problem. He had only just settled down in his chair, folded his hands and started thinking about what kind of origami flower she might like to find on her desk, when he heard yelling and saw a flood of uniforms running into interrogation.

The chaos died down quickly, leaving him standing by his chair, looking around nervously, not sure what to do. Usually he let Beckett tell him what to do. But now he wasn't sure where she was.

Esposito and Ryan came strolling back to their desks and saw him looking antsy. "Hey, Castle. Relax, just a little scuffle. Nothing serious."

"What happened? Where's Beckett?"

Ryan shrugged. "Not sure. She kind of took off."

"Probably up to storage. It's quiet, no one goes up there. Good place to avoid the dragon lady."

"What happened? She was just in interrogation – "

"Interrogation went south. Guy snapped. Actually got hands on her before she managed to throw him down," Ryan said. "It wasn't pretty. But she's fine."

"Bastard's in holding where he belongs now."

Castle shifted uneasily on his feet. He needed to go check on her now. "I should go talk to her."

"I don't know, man. She's in a bad mood today." Esposito shook his head. "She's not like this often. I mostly stay out of her way."

Luckily, Castle had never been good at doing the smart thing.

He followed Esposito's directions and found himself in the mostly deserted upper floor, cluttered with old desktop computers, slightly broken chairs and boxes full of who-knows-what. And sure enough, there was a conference room across the hallway.

He cautiously opened the door, leaning in quietly, and stared in stunned disbelief at Kate Beckett, who was sitting on the floor, back to the wall. Her head was in her hands. She was silently crying.

His heart twisted, because Kate defeated was a sight he never, ever wanted to see.

He stepped inside, making sure his footsteps were loud enough to hear, but soft enough not to startle her. She didn't look up. Definitely a bad sign. Regular Kate not only wouldn't be crying, she wouldn't let him see it.

So Castle took his life into his hands (seeing as its greatest purpose was to help her anyway) and sat beside her, tentatively setting his hand on her shoulder, slowly turning her towards him. And she didn't pull away, didn't stop him, which he'd half expected. She actually nestled against him, settling against his chest, burying her face in his shoulder. He could feel her shoulders trembling against him, the slow gasp of her breath against his chest.

Knowing he couldn't end it himself, Castle wisely let her cry herself out, feeling the slowing of her pulse, the deepening and steadying of her breath against him.

Finally, as she calmed and her breathing got calmer, he decided to see if she wanted to talk. "You want to tell me what's wrong?"

She swallowed, opening her curled fist to show him her necklace, her mother's ring. The chain had snapped, the clasp broken. Castle felt his chest ache. He was suddenly overwhelmed with the irrational desire to pull her tighter against him and not let go until she decided to marry him.

He probably wouldn't let her go even then. Just to be safe.

He settled for picking up the broken chain, examining the ends. "It broke?"

"He caught it when he reached for me. It just snapped."

He swallowed. No wonder she'd been crying. He rubbed her back gently. "I'm sorry. I really am."

She shook her head, her eyes welling up. "It's stupid. I don't know why I just lost it. It's just a necklace."

"It's not stupid. We both know that. But you still have her ring. She's still with you, Kate. You haven't lost her."

Watching her for permission, he slowly took the ring from her, holding it up to the light. He'd never gotten to look at it this closely. It was simple. Beautiful. Perfect.

Just like her.

"Here. Till we fix it for real."

He took her right hand and slid the ring carefully onto her finger. It was a little big, but the fit was close enough. She looked down at it, running her thumb slowly over the metal. Engagement rings always felt uncomfortable at first.

"Thanks, Castle." Her smile was a little watery, but when she looked back up at him, his heart warmed. Her smile was real. And this close, it was devastating.

She rested her head on his shoulder again, her body leaning softly against his. They fell silent for a while.

After a few minutes, he felt her take a deep breath, her ribs expanding against his as she reached up to brush her hair out of her eyes. "Sorry – I didn't mean to just collapse on you."

"Consider me your personal airbag. I'm even interactive."

Kate chuckled and leaned back against the wall, stretching her neck, the spot on his shoulder immediately missing her warmth, and he couldn't stop himself. He reached for her face, carefully catching a few stray tears with his thumb, wiping them away. She let out a shaky sigh.

"You want to go back down?"

She shook her head, settling back aginst him. "Can we just stay for a minute?"

"As long as you want." He pressed a soft kiss to her hair, almost hoping she didn't notice. If she did, she didn't mind. He felt her fingers curl around his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. He threaded his fingers through hers.

Castle rubbed her arm softly, looking down at her hand in his, the diamond ring sparkling in the soft half-light. And it occurred to him that regardless of her hesitation, she couldn't change the fact that really, they were lovers already.