Chapter Two: I'm So Sick And Tired Of Being Sick And Tired
I'm thinking, baby,
you and I are undeniable
But I'm finding now loves unreliable
I'm giving all I got to make you stay
Or am I just a roadblock in your way
~ ~Love Like Woe by The Ready Set
Sam
I pulled John Gomez's hand into mine and rested my head on his shoulder. We were sitting on the bed of his truck, our legs swinging over the edge of the trunk watching the sun set.
"I can't tell you how romantic this is, John." I giggled. "Watching the sun set in a parking lot." John smiled at me and threw his arm around my shoulders. I scooted closer to him as the sun started to drop behind the mountain, the sky turning a soft orange. He kissed my cheek bone and I slowly looked up at him. He was beautiful, even with that mullet he was starting to grow. His blue eyes sparkled as he stared down at me.
"If I told you I might love you, would you kill me?" He whispered and I smiled.
"Only if you keep the word 'might' in there." I leaned in and kissed him on the lips, and without hesitating he slid his arms around me and kissed me back. I slowly pulled away, keeping our faces close together, so close I could feel his warm, minty breath catching on my eyelashes and see the surprise in his warm, blue eyes. I stared at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something. He lifted his hand and pushed my hair out of my eyes and held my cheek in his palm. I placed my hand on top of his and he smiled, a hint of red creeping into his cheeks.
"You're beautiful, Sam." He whispered breathlessly before his lips crashed down on mine, with more force than our first. His hands slid up the back of my shirt towards my shoulders and he pulled me closer so I was practically in his lap. My fingers were twisted in his hair and I bit his bottom lip. He moaned quietly and his hands moved slowly down my sides towards my hips where his thumbs slid into my belt loops and he pulled them down slightly. A car honked and John jumped and moved away. I giggled and could make out how red John's face had gotten even in the dim lighting. I pushed up on my knees and leaned over him so our foreheads and noses were touching.
"John," I said seriously, trying to disguise the laughter in my voice. "Did we almost have sex in a parking lot in the back of your truck?" John smiled up at me and laughed.
"I guess." He said. "Say sex again."
"Sex." I said dramatically, squinting my eyes slightly and scrunching my nose. I quickly pecked him on the lips before jumping off the back of the truck and opening the passenger side door. I climbed up the step into the car and flopped down on the leather seat. I put on my seat belt and swung my legs waiting for John to come in the car.
"So, uh." He cleared his throat and looked over at me. "Is this where I ask: you're place or mine?" I laughed and John stared at me worriedly biting his bottom lip.
"It would be, but I'd say you were spending too much time with Jack and Alex." I smiled and John shrugged.
"So I guess I blew that, huh?" He asked half heartedly and I shrugged.
"Maybe not." I teased. "Did I ever tell you how adorable you look when you bite your lip like that?"
"Like this?" He asked, pulling his bottom lip under his top teeth and I smiled.
"Don't over do it, boy." I laughed and he smiled and started the car. "And I'm going to say your place because Dylan is probably already crashed on my couch anyways and Stephen's out of town."
"Whatever you want, babe." John laughed, his smile growing wider. I reached over and was about to turn on the radio when I turned to John.
"Whatever song comes on right now is going to be our song, okay?" I said worriedly and John nodded. I hit the power button on the radio and the speakers instantly filled with "All The Small Things" by Blink 182. The car bounced into his driveway as soon as the song ended and I kicked open the car door and walked hand in hand with John inside to find Kennedy and Dylan playing video games.
"Sam?" Kennedy's eyebrows shot up as soon as I stepped inside.
"Hmm, guess I was wrong, huh?" I turned to look at John who shrugged. Kennedy jumped to his feet and his eyes darted towards our intertwined hands. John gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and I watched, unmoving as Kennedy licked his lips and his brown eyes darted between me and John.
"Sam, what are you doing?" Kennedy asked, the pain plain in his tone.
"Whatever the hell I want, Brock." I said through clenched teeth, refusing to cry as I bit back the tears I had cried over him last time.
"I can't believe you," He began and cleared his throat.
"Can't believe me?" I almost screamed. "What did I do?"
"I'm going to go upstairs." John said dropping my hand and leaning in to peck my cheek, but I guess he caught Kennedy's death glare and recoiled.
"You broke us up, remember? And now you can't believe me because I came home with Gomez?" I said, hating the waver in my voice. "Do you even know what you did to me? No, you wouldn't would you? I'm starting to wonder what I ever saw in you, Ken." I spun on my heels and ran upstairs to catch up with John.
Kennedy
"Oh, damn. You're going down, kid!" I laughed, pushing Dylan over as I shot him in the video game and it said "Game Over" in big white letters on the screen. "Yes!" I cheered and then turned my attention towards the front door as I heard a car door slam.
"John's home. Want me to order pizza?" Dylan asked and I nodded.
"Yeah." I said as the door swung open and Sam walked in, a smile in her bright green eyes. She looked happy, and I felt the old pain again. I pursed my lips and watched as John came in after her.
"Sam?" I couldn't believe she was with John. What was going on? "What are you doing?"
"Whatever the hell I want, Brock." She snapped and I cringed. She really didn't love me anymore. My eyes dropped her her hand which was tightly fastened to John's. The room seemed to freeze.
"I can't believe you -" I began, I can't believe you'd let me leave you without even trying to stop me? What was I trying to say? I wasn't trying to shirk the blame on her, was I? What did she do wrong?
"Can't believe me?" Her voice raised an octave and I could tell she was fighting tears. "What did I do?" Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I'm sorry, Sam. I love you. John let go of her hand and started to lean in to give her a kiss, but I glared at him. I was so confused. What was going on?
"You broke us up, remember? And now you can't believe me because I came home with Gomez." She shrieked, her voice wavering slightly. I wanted so badly just to stand up, and pull her into a tight hug and never let go, but that would never happen. She would never let that happen. "Do you even know what you did to me? No, you wouldn't would you? I'm starting to wonder what I ever saw in you, Ken." I didn't fight for her, I didn't do anything. I just sat there, staring after her, hating myself for letting her go. Ken. Her old nickname for me rang in my ears and the slightest ounce of hope swelled before my eyes. She spun around and followed John upstairs. I turned to Dylan who just stared at me, his eyebrows raised and his mouth slightly open, holding the cordless phone to his face. He shut his mouth and spun around as someone on the other line picked up. I sighed, running my fingers through my hair, trying to figure what to do. Was I supposed to wait for her? Or not even bother? I groaned and flopped backwards so my head was lying against he carpet.
John Gomez
Sam's head was laying against my bare chest and we both were laying on the queen sized bed in my room. I listened, playing with the ends of her dark hair as she talked. I didn't say anything because I could tell tears were close to the surface and I didn't want to break the control she had over them. I hated it when girls cried, and if Sam started crying I might start crying, too. Man, right now I hated Kennedy. I hated him for hurting Sam, for ruining my moment with her, and I could tell she still had buried feelings for him, even if she didn't know. They were there, and I could tell.
"You know what I mean, John?" Sam said, her brows knitted together and she had this sad, pleading look in her eyes and I felt my head nod and her face softened. "I love you, John." She sighed and kissed my lips.
"I love you more." I smiled and she giggled and hugged me. She sighed and we sat there staring at the ceiling.
"You know. I think that O'Callaghan should really ask Brooke out. I'm supposed to keep it a secret, but she sort of likes him, too. I mean, it was sort of obvious how she looks at him sometimes." Sam sighed and I gave her an odd look.
"O'Callaghan and Brooke?" I asked and she nodded. "Dylan thought Brooke was hot."
"Dylan thinks everyone is 'hot'." Sam laughed. "But the thing is Brooke's not one for relationships. So, she hooked up with Jack, that isn't going to last for more then a week, believe me. So Dylan may score some sex, but he isn't going to last long in her eyes." I laughed and stopped playing with her hair and she looked up at me.
"I love you…. so much, Sam." I said between breaths.
"What'd I do?" She asked, arching an eyebrow at me. I leaned in and kissed her and she dropped what she was saying and kissed me back.
"Hey, John. I'm going to - Woah. my bad." Dylan closed the door slightly and stopped twirling his keys around his finger and made a face. Sam pushed up so her hands were on the other side of my and hair was grazing my nose.
"What?" I asked, sliding my hands around her stomach.
"Hey! We were just talking about you!" Sam sang giddily. Dylan arched an eyebrow and gave me a confused look.
"Um, what about? And I was just saying that I was going to Panda Express and was wondering if you wanted something, but I see you have better things to do." He said.
"We were talking about you and Brookelle." Sam smiled and Dylan's expression hardened.
"I'll catch you guys later." He said quickly and closed my bedroom door and I stared up at Sam.
"You have the prettiest eyes." I said and she laughed.
"You have the prettiest smile." She said and I reached up and stroked her cheek. "Can I tell you a secret?" She whispered and I nodded. "I'm still a virgin." She bit her lip and I was quiet. I mean, what are you supposed to say to that. 'Oh, cool. Me too.' or 'Oh, well I lost mine. Maybe I can have yours?' No. Not gunna work. I bit my lip and she sighed. "I want it to stay that way for awhile, at least until I'm married. You understand that, right?"
"Of course, babe." I smiled and she relaxed, relief obvious on her face. "So…?"
"We can do whatever. Hold hands, take walks, kiss. Whatever. Just no sex." Sam smiled and I slid my hand under her shirt.
"Is this okay?" I asked and she nodded, and put her palms on my chest. I slowly slid my hands up her shirt, my eyes remaining on hers.
"For the love of- " She groaned and threw her shirt off diving back on my lips. My tongue traced the smile on her lips and moved down towards her collar bone. The sounds of rain started to hit against the window and lightning lit up the room. Sam wasn't going home tonight.
John
I flipped through the channels on the flat screen TV in Brooke's hotel room, sitting on the edge of her bed as she tried to hide her frustration as she talked on her cell phone. She smiled at me from the kitchen and I weakly smiled back at her. I would have left. I would be home watching re-runs of Desperate Housewives and maybe letting my depression eat me alive, but why do that at home when I could do that with Brooke? I sighed and flopped backwards on the bed listening to Brooke's conversation in the kitchen.
"No! Cher, look-" She sounded upset. "Cher! Listen, please. No, no one's here. Look. I'm on vacation. Whatever the situation is, I'll deal with it when I get back, okay? Bye." She snapped her phone shut and came into the room where I was and flopped down next to me on the bed. We sat there in silence, both of us laying on the bed, listening to the sound coming form the TV and the sound of rain hitting loudly against the window. Brooke was so quiet I was almost convinced she was asleep until she sat up and looked at me.
"Can I ask you something, John?" She bit her lip and I felt butterflies in my stomach.
"Of course." I sighed, looking up at her.
"Were you really just checking to see if I needed a ride earlier?" She asked and I felt my mouth go dry. Now was my chance. I could tell her right now.
"Yes." I said and she nodded. "But you and Jack, huh?"
"What?" She asked and then laughed. "No, no. Yeah, we were in bed, but no. I don't think it's going to work out." She sighed and I stared at her face. She was beautiful. Her long spiraled dark chocolate hair framing her round oval face, the light freckles that dusted under her bright, baby blue eyes and across the bridge of her button nose that she had always tried to cover up. Her eyes met mine and a smile broke across her lips. "What?"
"Nothing. Nothing." I stuttered quickly. "So wait, you aren't 'with' Barakat?" She shook her head and sighed, laying back down.
"Can you keep a secret?" She asked and I nodded. "Do you remember Jeremy in ninth grade?" How could I forget? He was her boyfriend and I had to grind my teeth every time I saw him and his smug little face, or his smug little lips on Brooke...
"Yeah." I nodded and waited for her to continue.
"Well, I haven't had a boyfriend since him. When he broke up with me over a text for gross Jezzy Owens? I just haven't had the guts to commit to anyone, else." She sighed and looked up at me. "I'm scared, John. I can't put myself in that position again. I know sex is bad, but I can't do anything else." She sniffed and I pulled her into a tight hug.
"That was ninth grade, Brooke. Freshman boys are cocky and jerks." I whispered and she let out a wet laugh and I could tell she was about to cry.
"So are Sophomore boys. Remember when you dumped that water bottle on my chair in Biology that year and I had a huge wet spot on my ass for the entire day? Or that time you put my bra on the flag pole and I had to ask the nerdy flag boy to get it down for me?" I laughed and held her closer. "I brought two bras everyday after that."
"High school was fun." I smiled.
"For you." She punched me lightly on the shoulder and I winced, pretending it hurt.
"I'll bet you that Jeremy has seen your face somewhere in a magazine or something and has regretted leaving you or brags about having gone out with you." She smiled at me and I stared out the window. It started to rain harder and Brooke snuggled closer to me.
"Did I tell you through that difficult sophomore year, I still was stupid enough to like you?" She asked and my eyebrows shot up. She liked me? Why hadn't I asked her out then? "I was torn every time I saw you to either punch you in that pretty little face or kiss you."
"I guess you chose punch, huh?" I teased, remembering the day that she had broke my nose in front of the entire grade.
"It was worth it." She shrugged and sighed. I laughed and hugged her closer.
"Yeah, because after that, I had to either drop my title as 'Prankster of the Year' or be friends with you." I laughed and bumped me with her shoulder.
"You're still as cocky and annoying as you were then! You haven't changed at all, John!" She exclaimed sarcastically.
"Nah, sure I have. I'm probably better looking now, right?" I asked and she rolled her eyes.
"I'll give you that." She giggled and then sat up straight. "Did I show you the jacuzzi in the room?" She asked and I shook my head. She pulled my to my feet and made her way towards another room in her large suite. "I'm so glad Cher offered to pay for this hotel room. It's fucking awesome." She smiled and hit a button on the wall and the lights slowly flickered on. She slid her feet into the water and smiled up at me. I sat down next to her and put my feet in, too, not even bothering to push the legs of my jeans up.
"Can I tell you a secret, Brookelle Donovan?" I asked and she nodded and I did something I hoped I wouldn't regret. I watched her eyes sparkle as they reflected the water of the jacuzzi and leaned in and pushed my lips up against hers and was surprised when she kissed me back. I twisted my fingers in her hair and her tongue pushed through my lips and she tried to get closer but slipped into the hot tub.
"Shitttt." She giggled and I stood up and peeled off my jeans and walked in after her. "Just like the last time I was here." She laughed and I shook my head.
"No. Last time you were naked." I smiled and she smirked. She reached out and grabbed the waistband of my boxers and slid them down.
"And now your naked. So I guess we're even." She laughed and I pulled her fully clothed body into mine. "I do have to admit that I feel weird that you're naked."
"Hey, you pulled them down. And I'm going to have to admit I feel weird you're wearing clothes." I laughed and she leaned in to kiss me again. "Now this, I could get used to."