The Trial
Part II
Location: Planet Judgmentia – The Spike of Judgment
The Irken Zim sat cross-legged on the stage of The Spike of Judgment, engrossed in the hand-held video game he was playing and completely ignoring all that was happening around him. A guard walked up and nudged him in the side with a shock-stick. He yelped and jumped to his feet.
"Hey! Pay attention Zim!" the Brains snapped. "You're on trial here!"
"Wha?" Zim asked dazedly and shook his head in an attempt to clear it. "Oh, yes. That." He frowned and crossed his arms as he was lifted into the air again.
The screens in the stadium lit up and began to play another scene from Zim's past.
Location: Planet Vort – Vortian Science Lab
Zim smoothed the folds of his clean white scientist robe as he stood impatiently at the end of a row of about nine other researchers. He leaned forward to peer down toward the far end of the room as the wide double-doors suddenly opened and a small group of Irkens entered. They were led by a very tall female with kind green eyes and long curled antennae. Her robes were the exact same shade of green as her eyes.
The head scientist, a male Irken about a foot taller than Zim with dark red eyes, stepped forward and saluted as she approached.
"Tallest Miyuki, welcome to Vort Research Station 9. You honor us with your visit," he said with a small bow.
Miyuki smiled and inclined her head slightly in response. "Tell me what my finest minds are dreaming up for the Empire," she said, clasping her hands behind her back and gazing around at her surroundings.
"Well, my Tallest, there's our infinite energy producing thingy," he said, gesturing to a pulsing energy generator nearby. "And Lard Nar here has begun work on preliminary designs for your new Bludgeon class fleet leader."
Lard Nar, a Vortian, proudly stepped forward and saluted Miyuki. He punched a few keys on the electronic clipboard he was holding and up popped a holographic model of what would one day be known as the Massive.
Unable to contain himself any longer, Zim stepped out of his place in the orderly row scientists and darted over to stand before Tallest Miyuki.
"Dookie!" Zim said and pointed to the holographic ship. "That thing'll never fly!"
Miyuki stared down at the small Irken with a disdainful expression and raised one antenna slightly in a questioning gesture. "Operator, who is this little creature?"
The head scientist fidgeted for a moment and cleared his throat in embarrassment. "Eh… This is Zim, my Tallest," he answered finally, bringing a hand to his temple in an attempt to ward off an oncoming headache. "A transfer from Irk. He destroys everything he touches, so they figured he'd excel at military research."
"Enough praise!" Zim interrupted. "Look! I've made an infinite energy absorbing thingy!" he announced, producing a small and rather cute little blob from his pocket. "It's chubby!"
The creature had a leather collar with a tag around its 'neck'. Zim sat it down on the floor and the odd little thing immediately began to roll toward the energy generator.
"No!" shouted the head scientist. "Keep it away from the infinite energy producing thingy!" He dived forward in an attempt to intercept the blob but it was too late. The creature had already reached the device and quickly engulfed it. It rapidly doubled, tripled in size, bursting out its collar and continuing to grow until it towered over every person in the room. Before anyone had time to react, it let out a deafening roar and lunged forward, completely engulfing Tallest Miyuki. Everyone present, save Zim, screamed in horror and scattered as it rampaged out of the building, leaving absolute chaos in its wake.
Location: Planet Judgmentia – The Spike of Judgment
Zim was dropped roughly to the floor as the scene on the monitors ended. There was again total silence as everyone stared at him in shock and anger. The Tallest were trembling in fury. Not even they had know about this. Red was the first to speak. Purple merely stared off into the distance, his expression blank.
"Almighty Tallest Miyuki was eaten by a giant blob because of you?!" he roared. Every Irken in the audience shrank back in their seats a bit as they witnessed his fury. Even Zim shivered momentarily.
"Um, no," he began uncomfortably, looking down at his feet. "She called me just last week. Yeah… she's doin' fine. Really." He looked up hesitantly.
Red only glared at him hatefully. Purple finally snapped out of his trance and floated forward a few feet, the expression on his face clearing conveying that he would like nothing more than to rip Zim apart with his bare hands.
"The is a horrible discovery," the Brains said somberly. "And not one to be taken lightly. Now, let's break for lunch!"
Zim sighed and moodily jabbed at the food on the tray before him. The chains shackling him to his chair chimed softly as he shifted in his seat and glanced up warily at the two guards standing at attention behind him, then over to the table where the Tallest were having lunch. The crowd surrounding Red and Purple oddly reminded him of the 'popular table' back at skool. He frowned worriedly as he thought of Earth.
"This is taking forever," he mumbled to himself, gripping a fork with both hands and slowly bending it in half. He threw it down to join his already deformed spoon and knife. "I never should've left Gir in charge. I don't even want to think about how badly he's failing on Earth."
Location: Planet Earth, Night
It turned out that Zim did have reason to worry, although it was far from the reason he thought.
Gir was doing just fine. Wonderful in fact.
You see, he had already succeeded in accomplishing what his master had failed to do time and time again.
All of humanity was bowing down at his little doggy feet.
Gir happily slurped a Suck Monkey as two humans dressed in replicas of his green dog costume fanned him with large palm leaves as he reclined on his throne located at the top of a very green pyramid. Huge statues of Gir were everywhere.
Another human in a Gir costume appeared next to the throne. "You have conquered our people with your mighty laser weapon," he proclaimed dramatically. "We thank you. All hail our new master, this… strange LUMPY LITTLE DOGGY!"
The huge crowd amassed below cheered and the human placed a shiny silver medallion around Gir's neck.
Gir examined it and squeaked his approval, then took another long sip of his drink.
Location: Planet Judgmentia – Court Cafeteria
Zim sighed for the fortieth time and continued to pick at his food. He was half asleep from boredom but he perked up a little as he caught a bit of the conversation between two passing Irkens.
"So whaddaya think? Defective of innocent?"
"Oh, Zim? Defective all the way. The Evaluation's just a formality so they can get rid of Zim officially."
Zim straightened, his antennae flattening against his skull in shock. "Formality?" he said to himself and then shook his head. "Nonsense! Justice will prevail. The Tallest will see to it!" He nodded to himself and began to munch on a curly fry.
The Tallest pushed their trays away and stood.
"Okay! Break's over!" Red announced loudly. "Let's get this formality over with!"
Zim's eyes widened in dread and he coughed as he nearly choked on his food.
Back at The Spike of Judgment…
Zim was roughly tossed back onto the stage by the guards that had been watching over him at lunch. He landed on his knees and remained there, pale and sickly looking, panting harshly. For the first time since arriving here he was actually scared for his life.
"Evaluation has resumed!" announced the Brains. "Prepare for more of Zim's terrible Replay!"
The Brain on the right seemed to convulse slightly. "But… his data makes my brain hurt," it said in a stained voice. "We need more brains to filter the pain."
"Excuse me!" Zim interrupted, his voice quite a bit smaller than usual. He stood shakily. "How about for a change we show some of my… glorious acts of obedience!" He suggested, his voice gaining more confidence as he spoke. "Like during Invader training!" he suggested brightly.
Cables connected to his PAK and he was lifted into the air again. Zim gestured for the Tallest to pay attention as the screens around the stadium began to flicker with images.
Location: Planet Devastis – Auditorium
Rows of Invader trainees stood at attention as their new Tallest of two weeks addressed them. Almighty Tallest Spork was a rather… unattractive male, with a large forehead and beady little eyes.
"As your new Tallest I am proud to say that you Invaders in training are the future of the Empire!" Tallest Spork said. "I'm still taller than you, though. Salute me!"
All of the Invaders-to-be promptly saluted, including Zim.
"Hoo!"
Location: Planet Judgmentia – The Spike of Judgment
Zim gestured to the image that was now frozen on the monitor screens.
"See?" he asked hopefully. "You like obedience."
Red squinted his eyes and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Wait a minute," he murmured. "I think I remember more happening that day."
The images on the screens resumed.
Location: Planet Devastis – Auditorium
Tallest Spork had finished his speech and the previous attentive Invaders-to-be were now wandering around the auditorium, mingling with other trainees or going up to shake Tallest Spork's hand.
Zim was chatting with a much younger Red and Purple. Well, Zim was doing most of the talking. The other two Irkens looked like they just wanted to get away from him as soon as possible. Finally, Purple was unable to take anymore.
"Zim! You've done nothing but rain horror down on the Empire since the day you were born… and now they're training you to become an Invader?! Why?!" Purple clutched at his head. "Why?! I mean… That's just sick!" Red put a hand on his friend's shoulder as he seemed to be on the verge of hyperventilating.
Zim smiled and nodded, apparently having taken in absolutely nothing Purple had just said. "Hah. Flattery aside, when I'm Tallest I will make the Empire rue ever having made me wait so long to rule them!" He shook a fist threateningly.
Red sighed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, if I were Tallest I'd probably put you on trail to defend your life." He nodded his head. "Yep. That's probably what I'd do. Mmmhmmmm."
Once again Zim seemed not to have heard anything that was just said; he was too busy fiddling with a small silver disc hanging from a leather collar he held in his hands.
The mostly recovered Purple peered over at it curiously. It was common knowledge that he was easily distracted by shiny objects. "Hey, what's that thing?" he asked.
Zim glanced up. "Oh, this?" he asked, holding up the object for them to see it better. "It used to belong to my infinite energy absorbing thingy back before it grew monstrous and nearly wiped out all of outer space. Remember that?" His face took on the fond expression of one recalling a particularly pleasant memory. "That little guy used to love this thing. I'm surprised he hasn't come back for it after all these-"
The rest of his sentence was drowned out as the ceiling suddenly exploded inward and the indescribable horror that was now Zim's infinite energy absorbing blob dropped down into the auditorium, sending terrified trainees scattering. It let out a deafening roar and in a flash, grabbed Tallest Spork and swallowed him whole.
Chaos reigned supreme.
Location: Planet Judgmentia – The Spike of Judgment
Zim frantically waved his arms in an attempt to distract the crowd from the chaos on the monitors. "Hey! No using two blob flashbacks in a row! That's a rule, right?!"
Red and Purple were reeling in shock and clutching at each other to keep upright.
"It's even more horrible than I remember," Red moaned. "Tallest Spork eaten by Zim's blob too… like he was just a chew-shmoop!"
"YOU are responsible for the death of TWO Almighty Tallest?!" the Brains roared.
"No! Spork's fine!" he shouted defensively. "C'monnnn!"
You could practically feel the hatred in the room.
"Well, look," he continued desperately. "What about the glory of my performance in Operation Impending Doom I?"
Location: Planet Irk – Irken Military Launch Zone, Night
Zim stood at attention before Tallest Red and Purple who were looking at each other worriedly. They finally turned their attention to the small Irken.
"Okay, Zim!" Purple began importantly. "This is the Empire's finest hour and you're in charge of watching everything from this circle."
Zim glanced around at the shakily drawn chalk circle he was standing inside. "But-"
"No no!" Red interrupted. "Don't leave this circle. Do us proud Zim!" he called as he and Purple began to back away.
Zim saluted and they turned away, both chuckling softly.
Zim's expression was one of absolute, intense concentration as he stood perfectly still, trying his hardest to obey his Tallest's orders.
But ultimately, the lure of destruction proved too mighty to resist.
"My empire needs meeee!" he shrieked and leapt dramatically up and out of the circle, landing in a painful-looking roll and running off.
A random Irken was wandering around the launch zone, looking vaguely confused. "Hey," he called out. "Has anyone seen Frontline Battle Mech #4? I'm supposed to – AHHH!"
A battle mech walked into view and began to wreak havoc, familiar maniacal laughter drifting out from the cockpit.
Sometime Later…
Zim was standing giddily before a small Control Brain inside one of the few buildings left standing after his rampage across Irk. It was obvious he was on trial and a slightly battered-looking Red and Purple were observing from the sidelines. The battle mech Zim had previously been piloting was just outside standing among the smoking ruins.
The Control Brain spoke. "INVADER ZIM, FOR SINGLE-HANDEDLY RUINING OPERATION IMPENDING DOOM ONE-!"
"Hey!" Purple interrupted. "Where'd Zim go?!"
Immediately a tank rolled by outside, Zim's head poking up from the top of it.
"I'm an Invader! Lookit me go! Woooo!"
Location: Planet Judgmentia – The Spike of Judgment
Zim laughed nervously. "Uh… Boy, those days sure were great, huh?"
"You're a monster, Zim! Everything you touch gets destroyed!" Red shouted.
"Hey! Not everything I do ends in horrible explosions!"
The monitor screens began to Replay a quick series of scenes showing things going horribly wrong because of Zim. Satellites spark and explode, giant monsters rampage, little monsters rampage, medium monsters rampage. Zim watched skittishly and nervously flashed the Tallest a thumbs up. They glared back at him.
Finally as scene popped up showing Zim standing in a beautiful, peaceful field.
Zim gestured to the scene with a pleased expression. "See! That's peaceful-like!"
On the screen Zim scratched his butt and the scene switched to a view of the planet from space.
The planet promptly exploded.
Zim whirled to glare at the Brains. "Hey! We said no more explosions!" he ranted. "Cheating! Cheating!" He waved his arms angrily.
Red looked disgusted. "We've seen enough, Zim. You've been nothing but a curse to the Empire. If Tallest Miyuki or Spork were here, they'd say so, too."
Purple nodded in agreement but said nothing.
Zim stared at them for a beat and then an unreadable expression crossed his face. "Well, as a matter of fact," he began in a calm tone. "I call as a surprise witness, Tallest Spork!" he proclaimed and gestured to the audience. There were shocked gasps and cries as Tallest Spork rose up to be seen standing among the crowd.
"Yes, I have returned from my vacation to re-claim my rightful position as leader of the Irken empire! Isn't that nice? My first act shall be to pardon the mighty and beneficial Invader Zim!"
"Yeeehooo!" Zim squealed raising his arms over his head in triumph. He leapt off the stage and ran out of the stadium.
A dumbstruck Red and Purple did nothing to stop him, even as he sped away from planet Judgmentia in his Voot Runner. The two slowly shook off their shock and blinked at each other, then began to tentatively approach the Tallest, who continued to speak.
"...and as my twenty-fifth act as leader, I order the construction of the Invader Zim commemorative nacho palace..."
The two Tallest stopped beside the apparently resurrected Spork. Red's eyes narrowed in suspicion
"Heyy...waitaminnit..." he said and cautiously poked Spork in the arm with a finger. There was a hiss as air began to escape from the hole made with his claw. The Spork blowup doll rapidly deflated.
Purple knelt down and retrieved a voice recorder that was still spouting Spork speech. His hand clenched around it and the voice stopped as the recorder shattered into pieces.
Out in space, Zim's ship was seized by a tractor beam. Hard. He was flung forward from his seat and his head struck against the dashboard, knocking him senseless. When his senses returned, he was back at The Spike of Judgment, a horrible pain in his head and horrible chains on his limbs. Two huge guards stood on either side of him. They growled menacingly as he struggled to stand.
Red and Purple glared down at him evilly.
"Nice try, Zim," Red smirked.
"I wanna know why he had an inflatable Spork with him," Purple said, looking highly disturbed.
"We have our ruling," the Brains spoke.
Zim's eyes widened and he bit his lip.
The Tallest looked thrilled.
"Man, no more Zim," Purple whispered excitedly to Red. "Imagine that!"
"I know… I've been imagining it my whole life!" Red whispered back.
"OUR RULING: Irken Zim's ID PAK is damaged and has led to a corrupt data path. He is... A DEFECTIVE."
The audience cheered and confetti rained down from above. Red and Purple high-fived each other ecstatically.
Zim whimpered and seemed to shrink into himself.
The Brains continued with their ruling. "Irken Zim's data is not allowed to into the collective. His PAK will be removed, and erased."
"But… I can't live without my PAK," Zim protested, his eyes widening.
"Awww... Wow. Too bad. Tough one, Zim!" Purple snickered.
Zim began to struggle with his chains but froze as he felt his PAK disconnect. He sank to his knees as data cables from the Brains connect to his PAK and began to drain it of all information. His life was ending right before his eyes.
"No! This is a mistake!" he shouted in panic. "Have I mentioned that I am Zim?!"
The Brains' eyes flashed as the data flowed into them…
Location: Freaky Cybernetic Zone
The virtual reality world inside of the Brains was a vast and surreal techno landscape. Ones and zeroes rapidly flashed by as the information from Zim's PAK was processed. Zim's voice began to echo strangely through the void.
"Come, GIR. Let us rain some doom down upon the heads of our doomed enemies."
"I am filled with goo... mission goo!"
"Lemony fresh victory shall be mine!"
"GIR! What are you doing?"
"My Tallest! My Tallest! Hey! Hey My Tallest! My Tallest? My Tallest! Hey! Hey! Hey! My Taaaaaaallist! My Tallest? My Tallest! Hey! Hey My Tallest! My Tallest? It's me! My Tallest? My Tallest!"
"You're nothing Earth boy! Go home and shave your giant head of smell with your bad self!"
"Something wrong... so much... bad data... passing through us all at once... cannot process... the horror... Going... insane!"
Location: Planet Judgmentia – The Spike of Judgment
The cheering stadium fell silent as sparks and sounds of gibberish began to emit from the Brains.
A very pale Zim looked up in amazement as he was suddenly released from his restraints and his PAK was replaced. His coloring immediately improved.
The Brains giggled dementedly. "Invader Zim, for your heinous crimes… we declare you… THE MOST INCREDIBLE IRKEN EVER!"
Zim smiled. "Hey, thanks. I really am."
Red and Purple both leapt forward angrily.
"No!" Purple shouted. "You can't do that! He's a defective! You already ruled!"
"Ohhh, LIGHTEN UP! LITTLE...BUMBLE BEE...aargh...THE MADNESS..."
The Tallest stared at the deranged Control Brains in disbelief.
"So close," Red whimpered. "So close!"
All of the onlookers seemed to be in a state of shock as Zim strutted around the stage, smiling and waving to the cameras.
"AND for being YOU, Zim, we grant you ten free minutes of piloting the MASSIVE!"
Location: Space – The Massive
In space…. no one can hear you scream.
Inside a space craft, however, it's an entirely different story.
"Woooohooooo!" Zim whooped, as gleeful as a kid at an amusement park, as he recklessly piloted the Massive, sending crewmembers scrambling to find something to hold onto. "You guys really had me going! Thank you, my Tallest!"
Red and Purple were directly behind him, collapsed in each other's arms and weeping uncontrollably.
"So… close…"
"Curse… you… Zim…"
Location: Planet Earth – Zim's House, Night
Back on Earth, everything seems to have mysteriously returned to normal. A car pulled up in front of Zim's house; the passenger door opened and a small green dog hopped out, a Suck Monkey clutched on one paw and a hot dog in the other.
The human that had given the speech on the pyramid leaned out and smiled at him. "Too bad about you being overthrown as leader of Earth, and everything being returned to normal," he said. "But hey, things happen. We'll all see you at the rave tomorrow night, right?"
Gir squeaked and nodded in response. He waved as the car pulled away then turned and headed into the house.
A fraction of a second after the door closed, the top of the house opened as Zim's Voot Runner descended from the sky and dropped into the hanger, the roof closing after it.
Gir sat happily on the couch almost finished with his hot dog and drink, empty cups and candy wrappers surrounding him. Zim descended from the ceiling, frowning in irritation when he spotted Gir and the mess around the couch.
"Lookit this place! I leave and the whole mission grinds to a halt! Gah!" He threw his hands up and turned to march over to the toilet in the kitchen.
Gir squeaked and raised his hot dog in greeting.
Zim waved absently behind him. "Yes, yesss. It's good to see you too," he muttered as he flushed himself down to his lab.
Gir turned on the TV and began to watch the Scary Monkey Show. He finished his hot dog and drink and tossed the empty cup onto the floor to join the others. After watching TV for a few more minutes he reached into his pocket and pulled out the medallion he was given earlier. He suspended it in front of him by its chain as he studied the words inscribed on it.
KING GIR: RULER OF EARTH
Gir giggled to himself and slipped it back into his pocket, then hopped off the couch to go find his rubber piggy.
END
AN: Well, that's that. Yep… The End.