These 'fics won't be in order of date. They're going to be completely randomly placed, I'm afraid. Sorry.
Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note.
The 17-year old looked down and the twisted body spread across the floor. Not an unusual sight for him, but, still.
"What are you doing?" The young detective inquired, owl-like eyes blinking at the figure's face, whose tongue was lolling to the side.
"Nyam dhnyed." The body decided not to put his tongue back in before replying.
"..You're dead?"
"Mnyeph."
"...Why are you dead?"
He pulled his tongue back into his mouth."I should not be replying to your questions. I am dead. The dead do not state why they are dead."
L cocked his head to the side. "That would make my life much easier."
"You're a very lazy detective." The "corpse" retorted.
Shrugging it off, "Did you want me to deduce why you seem to have died?"
The corpse flung his head to the side and gave a series of "dying coughs", which was neither a rejection nor confirmation. Just a declaration that he was dead. As if his previous statement "I'm dead." hadn't been enough to explain the situation.
L twisted his head around, stepping carefully around the scene of the crime. He placed his thumb to his lip in a usual thinking pose, hunched over, and "Hmmm"-ing for added effect.
"There's no blood, nor signs of breaking and entering. There's no clearly visible external wounds, proving the killer either used internal methods or was extremely careful to cover his tracks. The body—" He placed a foot on the corpse's stomach. "- Is still warm, so the act must have been relatively recent. However, the unusual..." Indicating to the limbs laying in all directions on the floor, "..Position of the body would indicate it has been moved, or the victim died overly-dramatically and flailing, causing as much fuss as it could."
The corpse grunted.
L smiled at the noise, squatting down into his regular fetal position and leaning over the body, his face edging closer to the open jaw.
"Was it..." He placed a hand under the jaw and lifted the other's face towards his own. "Poisoning?"
The corpse said nothing, gazing up at the elder boy.
And then, closer, until...
The door slammed from the lower level of the orphanage.
"B, YOU LITTLE BRAT! YOU BETTER GET DOWN HERE AND GET THOSE BIRDS OUT OF THE KITCHEN RIGHT NOW, OR I SWEAR TO GOD-"
L blinked.
B, the until-now-corpse, blinked back.
"I deduce the victim was aware he was about to suffer a worse-than-death torture from Roger and committed suicide."
"Right on the mark. Great job. Now, if you'll excuse me-" B promptly leapt up from his dying-position and fled from the room.
"..."
The insomniac spontaneously threw himself to the ground.
"Here's to my love. O true apothecary. Thy drugs are quick. Thus, with a kiss, I die." He uttered to the empty room, as if it requested an explanation.
The moment was only slightly ruined by the sound of a pigeon that had been released into the cafeteria smashing into the chandelier.
Ah, well.
I know this one is very quick and lame, but I'm afraid it's 3 in the morning as I type this, haha. Sorry~!