Batgirl ran across the rooftops of New Gotham feeling the wind slap her face and her cape flap behind her. It was a perfect night. The moon was full and hung high in the star-filled sky. There was a slight chill in the air, but that only helped to keep Barbara cool as she ran around the city in her costume. She had stopped a convenience store robbery, two break-ins, and helped a guy change a flat tire. It was a pretty slow night. What Barbara really wanted was some action, but she had not heard from Batman in the last few nights. The supervillains seemed to be on hiatus. I should be happy for the calm, Barbara thought, but she really needed to feel the blood rush through her veins full of adrenalin as she fought the likes of Penguin, Poison Ivy, or the Mad Hatter.
She stood atop the New Gotham Bank in the centre of town. It was the second highest building in the city, and from here, Batgirl could look down on the city and see all that it had to offer. She looked out and instinctively, she knew that something was not right. She scanned her surroundings, but everything seemed quiet. Yet, Barbara had this nagging feeling that something was askew. She then heard a loud explosion and turned to see that an office building to the south of her position was on fire. Forgetting her nagging feeling, Barbara ran toward the burning building. She used a fire escape to get to street level and spotted Batman standing in front of the building.
"What happened?" Barbara asked as she approached the Dark Knight.
"You shouldn't be here, Barbara," Batman said without answering Barbara's question as he watched the building burn.
"The whole, this is a boys' club act, is getting really old, Bruce," Barbara answered, intentionally using his name. If he could use her name when she was in costume, then she could do the same to him. "I think that I've proven that I can take care of myself, and although I know that you'll never admit it, I am useful to this city. I'm good and you know it."
"That's not the point, Barbara," Bruce said still refusing to turn and look at her. "You need to stop pretending. It's been days now."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Barbara asked. This was cryptic even for Batman. Although Barbara still had no idea what he was talking about, the strange feeling she had earlier returned.
"You know what I'm talking about," he said. Batman turned to face Barbara as he delivered the final blow. "You know what he did."
With Bruce's last statement, Barbara saw different images flash in front of her eyes. Green hair. The barrel of a gun. The ceiling of her apartment. Then darkness.
When the darkness was lifted, she found herself in her apartment. She was wearing a robe and her hair was wet. Water ran down the back of her neck. She was walking toward the door. Someone had knocked. Don't do it! her mind yelled, but her body did not listen. It continued to walk toward the door. Her hand reached out and opened the door. Barbara looked up to find the last person she ever expected to see at her door standing there with a gun pointed at her. She had no time to react as she saw the flash of the muzzle and heard the explosion of the bullet being propelled out of the gun's chamber. Then she felt the pain as the bullet tore through her abdomen and she found herself falling. She stared at the ceiling, unable to move or make a sound.
"Knock, knock," he said sinisterly. "Who's there? Batgirl - past tense."
********
Barbara woke up, forgetting the dream as she began to regain consciousness, but the fear stayed with her. Her heart was pounding. She opened her eyes and was nearly blinded by the brightness of the room. Everything seemed to be a glowing, brilliant white. Where am I? she thought as she realized that she was not in her room, in her own bed. The residual fear from her dream intensified as she realized that she was still in a nightmare. She tried to sit up only to find that she could not. She was assaulted by an intense pain. It was so intense that she could not pinpoint its origin. It felt like every neuron in her body was screaming with pain. She opened her eyes and scanned the room as best she could. She could hear an annoying beep over to her right, but she could not see what was making the noise. She looked to the left and spotted a mop of grey hair.
"Daddy?" she whimpered, quietly.
Jim Gordon quickly jumped out of the chair where he had been sleeping and ran to Barbara's side.
"Barbie? You're awake, baby," he said softly as he gently caressed her forehead with his hand.
Barbara was trying to process what was happening. She had finally figured out that she was in the hospital, but she had no idea how she had gotten there.
"What happened?" she asked quietly.
"Princess," Jim said carefully, trying to maintain control of his emotions. He did not want to upset her. He was so relieved to see her green eyes again and to her voice. She had been unconscious for nearly five days. "You got hurt pretty bad."
"You know I don't like to be called princess," Barbara said as she tried to keep her eyes open, but they felt so heavy.
"Don't worry, princess. Go to sleep. Daddy will be right here when you get up," Jim said as Barbara drifted off into the bliss of sleep.
********
"Commissioner Gordon, I explained to you that Barbara probably would not remember what had happened," Doctor Conley said gently as she talked to Jim in the family waiting room of the ICU. "After such a traumatic experience, the mind protects itself by blocking out the painful memories. I'm very confidant that this is not a sign of brain damage. The memory lose is most likely temporary, but try not to tell her too much about what happened. It will be better for her if she remembers on her own."
"I understand," Jim said hanging on the doctor's every word. He had been in the hospital countless times during his police career and he had often been present when a family member was brought bad news, but it was so different when it was his daughter that the doctors were talking about. He had so many questions to ask. So many questions that he needed to be answered, but he was afraid of the answers. Mustering all his courage, Jim asked, "About what you said before…umm…could the…umm… the para-…," Jim choked on the word. Barbara isn't paralysed, he told himself firmly. "Umm…could it be temporary? Like the memory loss."
Doctor Conley motioned for Jim to sit down on the nearest sofa. This was by far her least favourite part of the job. Jim wearily fell into the couch. He had slept no more than a few hours in the last five days and was only staying awake because of coffee that he guzzled non-stop and the fear that if he was not vigilant that death would steal Barbara away from him.
"Commissioner, I know that this is difficult for you to accept, but you need to understand what I'm telling you," she started slowly. "Barbara was shot at point-blank range. She was fortunate in that the bullet didn't do any major damage to her organs as it travelled through her abdomen and so far neither the bullet wound nor the incisions from surgery show signs of infection, but her spine is a different story. I'm going to be graphic because I think that this is the only way for you to really hear what I'm saying. Like I said, the bullet didn't do any major damage as it travelled through her abdomen, but it exited through her spine. The bullet shattered two of her vertebrae and completely severed her spinal cord. There's a two inch gap in her spinal cord. That isn't going to heal. She is completely paralysed from the waist down. There is research being done to cure this type of injury, but it isn't anywhere near the stage where it could help your daughter. The sooner you accept these facts, the more help you will be to Barbara. With physical therapy and practice, she'll be able to lead a fairly normal life, but it's going to take a lot of effort on her part and she's going to need your help."
"I know," he said dejectedly, desperately wishing to wake from this nightmare.
********
"Helena, this is Mr. and Mrs. Johnston," the social worker spoke softly. "They'll be taking care of you, okay?"
Helena did not say anything as she stood in the foyer of the Johnston's home. What could she say? Five days ago, she had witnessed her mother's murder. Since then she had been living in a fog. She felt like she had been transported from her real life and dumped into another dimension with familiar places and faces, but everything was all wrong. When the police had found her after she had run away from Barbara's apartment, they had tried to convince her that Barbara was still alive, but Helena had seen Barbara's pale face and the blood soaked carpet in the apartment. Helena was sure that everyone was just trying to protect the little orphan. This can't be real, Helena thought. She would play along with this new dimension in the hope that if she went with the flow, she would soon wake from this hell.
********
Barbara woke up in a panic. She had been having the same nightmare for days now, but this time she was able to remember her dream and her fear was all the more poignant because of that. She remembered what had happened to her. Blessedly, she did not remember every detail only that she had been shot by the Joker in her apartment. How did he find me? she wondered.
"Dad?" Barbara said rousing Jim from his thoughts as he stood at the window looking out over New Gotham.
He quickly rushed to her side and gently kissed her forehead.
"I'm so glad you're awake," he said with a small smile. "You've been sleeping so long that I almost resorted to talking to myself. The last thing I need is for people to think that I'm crazy. That's suppose to be our secret."
Barbara felt uneasy. Her father only rambled like this when there was bad news to deliver, like when her dog, Charlie, had died in the sixth grade.
"What's going on?" Barbara asked alarmed. "You only ramble like this when something bad has happened. I'm okay, right?"
"You know what I should probably get the doctor," Jim said pretending to not hear Barbara. "She'll want to know that you're awake."
Before Barbara could say anything, Jim was gone and she was left alone to think of the horrible possibilities that would scare her courageous father away.
********
"This will be your room, Helena," Mrs. Johnston said as she took Helena upstairs. "You'll share it with our other daughter, Elizabeth."
Mrs. Johnston opened the door to the bedroom. It was a small room with two beds and two desks, a closet, and chest of drawers. A girl about Helena's age sat on the bed furthest from the door listening to a CD player and reading a magazine.
"Elizabeth meet your new sister, Helena," Mrs. Johnston said warmly.
Elizabeth pasted on a phoney smile, although Mrs. Johnston did not seem to notice the lack of sincerity.
"Welcome to the jailhouse," the girl said with a flat voice as she lowered the magazine and made eye contact with Helena.
"Oh, don't listen to her, Helena," Mrs. Johnston said with a chuckle. "She's such a kidder. I'll let you unpack and meet your new sister."
Mrs. Johnston left the room and Helena was left alone with Elizabeth.
"The right half of the closet is yours and so are the two bottom drawers of the wardrobe," Elizabeth said as she picked up her magazine. "Don't touch my stuff. Ever."
Helena did not answer and started to unpack her small suitcase.
"So why are you hear?" Elizabeth asked. When Helena did not answer, she continued, "Are you a runaway or did you just get out of juvie?"
"I don't want to talk about it," Helena said trying to busy herself with hanging up some shirts.
"Ooh…mysterious," Elizabeth said mockingly. "Let me guess. Kids from juvie usually like to boast about their exploits and runaways smell a lot worst than you do right now. So I'm going to say that you've got crappy parents. Are they in jail or did they give you up willingly?"
Before Elizabeth could get out a laugh, Helena was across the room and in Elizabeth's face.
"Don't you ever talk about my mom like that," Helena said menacingly as rage and adrenalin pumped through her blood. "I said I don't want to talk about it."
"Whoa, heel, boy," Elizabeth said trying to regain her composure and not let on that Helena had scared her. That was when she noticed the strangest thing. "What the hell's wrong with your eyes?!"
Helena went over to the mirror above the wardrobe and caught a glimpse of her narrowed pupils. They looked almost like cat eyes. Before she had time to really examine them, they returned to normal. What the hell? Helena thought.
********
"Hello, Barbara," an older woman in a white coat said approaching the bed where Barbara lay. "I'm Doctor Conley. How are you feeling right now?"
"I was shot. How the hell do you think I feel?" Barbara said impatiently. When she was scared, Barbara had a tendency to lash out at people, and she had never been more scared than she was right now. As she had been lying in bed waiting for her father to return with the doctor, she had discovered some unpleasant things. It seemed that someone had tied her legs down because she could not move them. Logically she knew that made no sense, but she was unwilling to consider other explanations.
Doctor Conley did not miss a beat and continued to smile reassuringly as she said, "I realize that, but if you could humour me and tell me what you feel, I would really appreciate it."
Barbara sighed and then started, "Well, my entire midsection hurts and I feel really light-headed."
"That's to be expected. You were shot in the abdomen and you probably feel light-headed from the pain medication that we're giving you," the doctor explained as she pulled a chair up to side of the bed and sat down. Now, the doctor was eye-level with Barbara. "Okay, I'm just going to come out and say this. The bullet entered your abdomen and travelled pretty much straight through without really damaging any of your organs." Barbara felt some relief at this revelation, but she could sense that the doctor had more to say. "The problem was when the bullet exited. Regrettably, the bullet exited through your back." Barbara suddenly felt really cold. It seemed like the temperature in the room had dropped ten degrees.
The doctor continued more delicately, "The bullet hit your spine…"
The doctor continued to talk, but Barbara did not hear what she was saying. No! She's lying! Barbara thought finally understanding why she could not move her legs. This isn't real! This isn't happening! Barbara looked at the lumps in the blanket where her legs lay and willed them to move. Please, let this be a dream! Barbara plead to whatever higher power would listen. The doctor said something comforting and then left the room.
Jim immediately went to Barbara's side and embraced her. He kissed the top of her head and said, "It's okay, Barbara. It's going to be okay," he tried to convince them both.
********
Helena had been with the Johnston's for two weeks now. Mrs. Johnston was eerily cheery, Elizabeth was a jerk, and Mr. Johnston was never home. Helena stayed at school everyday as long as she could in order to avoid going back to the Johnston's. The weekends were the worst because there was no escape. Helena was not sure how long she could survive in this place. She felt trapped, like a caged animal. It was only a matter of time before she needed to make an escape.
********
It had been two weeks since Doctor Conley had dropped a bombshell on Barbara. At night Barbara dreamed of an evil green-haired monster, and she woke up to find herself in another nightmare. She could not decide which one was worst.
She was trying to be strong for her father. Barbara could see the toll that this was taking on him. She could not talk to him about how she felt because it would only cause him more pain and worry. Barbara was all alone. She had hoped that Bruce would stop by and see her. At first when he did not show up, she thought it was because he was disappointed in her for not being able to stop the Joker. Then Alfred had stopped by to tell her that Bruce had left New Gotham. Barbara should have been surprised by this news, but nothing surprised her anymore. This was mostly due to the fact that she felt hallow inside. At first, she was angry, but now she felt nothing at all, like she was dead inside.
There was a light tap at the door.
"Come in, Dad," Barbara said. "Where did you go to get coffee? You've been gone for nearly an hour."
When the door was pushed open, Barbara did not see the grey-haired head of her father, but the green-haired monster of her nightmares.
"Hello, Batgirl," Joker said as he came into the room. "I'm sorry. I should say ex-Batgril. You can't be Batgril now that I've clipped your wings."
He walked toward her bed. Barbara wanted to run and scream, but she definitely could not run and suddenly her local cords seemed paralysed too. The Joker sat on the edge of her bed and ran his hand down the side of her face.
"How's it going, Babs? Do you mind if I call you Babs?" Joker asked pleasantly as he pulled out a gun. "I thought I would stop by and finish what I started earlier."
The Joker put the gun to her forehead and cocked the hammer. Barbara waited for the sound of the shot, but it never came.
"Wait a minute," the Joker said. "You want me to do it, don't you? Thanks a lot. Now, you've gone and ruined my fun. I can't kill you when that's what you want."
********
Barbara woke up with a start. Relax, she told herself. It was just a dream. At least the part with the Joker was a dream, because she was still in the hospital unable to even wiggle one toe. I don't really want to die, do I? Barbara asked herself. Barbara had always been a fighter. Nothing ever stood in her way. It wasn't like her to just roll over and give up, but for the first time in her life, that's what was happening. She finally acknowledged the thought that had been in the back of her mind for the last two weeks. She really did wish that the Joker had finished her off.
********
Where is it?!
Helena thought as she searched through the drawer again. She knew that she placed the necklace from her mother in the bottom drawer inside a pair of socks, but now she could not find it. Elizabeth watched from her bed and laughed."Did you lose something?" Elizabeth asked snidely.
Helena snapped her head around to see that Elizabeth was holding the necklace in her hand.
"Give that back," Helena growled.
"Say please," Elizabeth answered as she started to put the necklace around her neck.
Helena was on top of her in a split second, ripping the necklace from Elizabeth's hand and striking her across the face at the same time. Elizabeth's lip split and began to bleed.
"What the hell?!" Elizabeth shouted stunned by Helena's speed. "You're a freak, you know that! Look at your damn eyes! They're like an animals!"
Helena put the necklace around her own neck and looked in the mirror to see that her eyes had gone cat-like again. What the hell is wrong with me? Helena wondered.