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Dublin City
Part Two
Ste follows Brendan, but at a distance behind, it's an odd feeling trusting the man in front despite only knowing him briefly. They walk briskly, enough to out maneuver the men behind them and enough to almost resist the rain, Ste only knows it continues settling sparkles of light on his eyelashes. Brendan doesn't look back, to check he's still there and his shoes don't make a sound like Brendan's do, the soft trainers he wears barely making tread. Brendan just carries on walking them through some streets until they arrive at the pub and when Ste tilts his head up the rain sparkles capturing the street lamps in its shower.
"So, am I the only one thinking how all this coulda been avoided if you'd just listened to me?" Ste mumbled sarcastically side glancing Brendan's unamused expression. "Not the time to joke? Course not"
"It was daylight when I first came here, looks spooky now this place" Ste continued to talk through his nerves, his words faltered as he looked around the dimly lit street.
"Safer than out here. And you're right, I should have listened."
"Were that you saying sorry?" Ste asks with a smile.
"Are ye gonna come in then?" Brendan steps to open the door. He waits until Ste walks in, locks the door behind them. The noise produces a little jolt in Ste's stomach but he breathes the butterflies away.
"It's proper dark in here"
"Yeah, happens a lot with the lights out"
"Sarky ain't ya?" Ste tuts at Brendan walking past. He flicks the light switch but nothing happens when he does.
"Could be a bulbs out" Brendan muses to himself and then looks down into the pub. The visibility isn't great down there. Ste nudges his arm.
"Maybe the lecky has gone?" Ste suggests with a shrug but Brendan shakes his head.
"Hm, a fuse blown I bet. Stay close to me yeah, these stairs don't glow in the dark. I just need to find the fuse box but that's behind the bar so" Brendan steps slowly down the stairs and pauses when Ste grabs around his arm for the second time tonight. He looks at the motion and then at Ste.
"What? I don't wanna go fallin' on my ass do I? C'mon no use in us stood ere while ya gawpin' at me is there?" Ste points down the stairs until Brendan takes the hint and moves again.
The pub is darker the more they venture down, and Ste can smell the stale beer within the large bar space. Ste gasps as Brendan unhooks himself and disappears off somewhere quickly leaving Ste stood all alone in the eerie space. It had been brightly lit when Cheryl had brought him here earlier, they could at least see what they were doing. Now Ste's eyes dart around, he can hear nothing else but his breathing and heart beat throbbing inside his ears. There's silence besides that and when he moves forward the wooden floor echoes his footsteps.
"Brendan?" Ste whispers into the room, there's no reply so he continues to walk blindly further inside. Ste reaches for his phone and turns it on, the light is only minimal but helps shed a glow over a small distance. Ste can see some discarded glasses placed on the tables and along the bar, beer bottles and coasters. He shines his phone around the room and turns with the movement. The light shines over the glint of eyes staring back at Ste and he yells out dropping his phone.
"Don't bloody sneak up like that!" Ste cries out clutching against his racing heart. "I nearly passed out then!"
"Jesus, ye are jumpy." Brendan said and reaches down to get Ste's phone. "Thought you're supposed to be skint, yet here ye are with a phone."
"It's my old phone, no sim in it. No credit on the thing. Only reason it's working is cos I charged it here earlier"
"Ye blew the fuses then, with that cheap mobile."
"That were almost five minutes ya went without insulting me then. Congratulations." Ste watched Brendan sneer and wander off again but Ste stuck by his side this time. "This place has a weird atmosphere to it. How do ya stay here alone?"
"I don't stay here alone. Chez is with me. And now we have a live in barman apparently, becoming more like a zoo"
"You said it..." Ste whispers under his breath absently.
"Excuse me?"
"Nowt, are you offering me a job here?"
"My sister is, she thinks you'll be a good asset to this place. It's not too modern but it does the job, got many regulars, some too regular. The job is yours and seen as you're not exactly swimming in offers I'd consider taking it"
"Don't have much bar experience but Cheryl let me help out here this afternoon and I managed to pick up a few things. Dunno if I am gonna be of any use to ya" Ste follows Brendan to the fuse box and watches him mess with it. He flicks a switch that bangs loudly as the electric comes back on illuminating the bar.
"Well now, ye can collect glasses and tidy up can't ye? The rest will come naturally. Are ye staying long or is this a short trip?"
"I hadn't thought that far ahead. I just came over because..." Ste trails off his sentence and looks back at Brendan. "Never mind how I got here, don't even matter now an you'd think I were crazy"
"What makes ye think I don't already?" Brendan smiles and for once Ste mirrors it, eyes hidden by his long lashes Brendan notes with interest how Ste's smile brightens his face. Ste flicks his gaze up to meet Brendan's.
"Right so, you've already seen the living quarters, but if ye follow me I'll show ye again." Brendan climbs the stairs in front of them with Ste not far behind.
"Like deja vous init?"
"Yeah, that or a reoccurring nightmare" Brendan spoke flippantly standing at the top of the stairs. Ste halted behind him.
"Look, what do you want from me? I mean, here you are offering me a job. Ya gotta want something in return"
Brendan turns around, his gaze cruising the length of Ste slowly leaving him to gulp and wet his lips. "There's nothing ye have that I want Steven. Just be up for work on time and pull your weight. I'll pay ye the going rate and ye can contribute to your board until ye can find a place of your own."
"You're actually letting me stay here?"
"What use would ye be living out there? Ye need somewhere don't ye?"
"I...don't know what to say..." Ste suddenly feels humbled and the emotion knots up tightly inside his stomach and chest. "Thank you"
"It's nothing, it's Cheryl's idea all this, she's the one who likes ye so don't let her down"
Brendan points to a corridor leading to the bedrooms. "I believe my sister has crashed for the night. Ye can take a bedroom instead of the couch, need a decent nights kip to work a day. That's my room at the top of the landing, the spare room is yours and next to me, Chez is here. Steven, I love my sister, ye do anything to upset or hurt her and you'll be out that door faster than your feet can touch the ground."
"Again." Ste replied looking at Brendan's blank expression. "I just mean, before... had practice with that ain't we?" Ste grins but Brendan doesn't. Ste widens his eyes, hands held up in defeat.
"Am I making myself clear Steven?"
"Crystal. You can't take a joke. Sorry - I promise I would never hurt her. Thank you for doing this, honestly. My first thoughts were wrong I thought ya were a snotty idiot with a daft moustashe"
"Hey, don't dis the tashe, got magic powers this has" Brendan points to his moustashe and continues to rake his eyes over Ste. "Good kettle through there, makes a fine brew. Stop your body from shaking the buildings foundations."
Brendan moves away a moment or two and returns with his blue shirt from earlier, he tosses it clear at Ste's face making him laugh. "Here, looks better on ye anyhow"
"Ta. Will ya join me for a drink?" Ste asks as his thumbs feel along the material of the shirt.
"I'm shattered, need my bed." Brendan turns back as he leaves "The biscuit jar is mine, I count the contents"
"Very funny" Ste quips but he sees Brendan is all too serious. "Right, don't scoff the biccies - gotcha"
"Ye know where the bathroom is, down the corridor. Kitchen and lounge. See ye in the morning"
"Ye survived the night then" Brendan said, he takes a gulp of his strong coffee and watches Ste wander into the kitchen with an air of trepidation about him. He's still wearing the clothes he had on yesterday and keeps his arms tightly around his waist. "Ye want some breakfast? Gotta be hungry I bet - we've cereal, eggs, toast?"
"Thanks, I um, I'll have some toast and a coffee." Ste saw Brendan slide over the plate of toast and pour some fresh coffee into a mug. So he sits down and grabs some toast crunching it between his teeth, Ste feels timid sat there, barely knowing the man in front of him that can't seem to take his eyes off. Perhaps trying to work him out, or psych him out. Either way Ste continues to struggle in his surroundings.
"Sugar?"
"Four please"
"There's a sugar tax in place over three spoonfuls - that's my limit. Not sweet enough then Steven?"
"I'm plenty sweet, just a desired taste I guess. Do ya have a mind blank when it comes to peoples names? - cos I'm Ste. Could wear a name badge if ya like?" Ste blows a cool ripple over his drink and stares back at Brendan.
"Ye can spell 'Steven'? Long name that too" Brendan smirks sipping from his cup. "Ye best smarten up after breakfast - clothes I mean"
"Why?"
"Need to dress smart for an interview, gotta look the part"
"What interview?"
"Have to convince me you're the man for the job Steven" Brendan fixes his eyes with Ste as he continues to drink from the cup in his hand.
"Fine, I'll just wear your blue shirt then" Ste licks the wet back to his lips and keeps Brendan's gaze. "Ya said I looked good in it, might get me in with the boss"
Brendan coughs spluttering his coffee everywhere leaving Ste nibbling his lip to stop smiling. Brendan wiped the remnants of the drink on the back of his hand.
"Right, so. A t shirt will be okay to work in"
"Thought ya said I had to do an interview though?" Ste smiles smugly keeping their eyes as one until the sound of Cheryl walking in snapped Brendan from it. Cheryl smiled as she gave her brother a hug.
"Thanks" She whispered into his ear and her smile was wide for Ste. "So, you guys been bonding over breakfast I see. Ste, please forgive my brother, he's got this nasty habit of acting before he thinks"
"Discussed that very thing last night" Ste nodded in agreement, he and Cheryl both laughed.
"Sat here presently" Brendan drawls shaking himself free. "Ye start at eight sharp, make sure you're ready in the bar. Ye can borrow one of Macca's t shirts."
"Actually Bren, Ste will be starting a little later than that" Cheryl sat down at the table and passed Ste the envelope he'd left last night "Gonna go shopping, Ste needs a change of clothes and uniform now he's stopping with us"
"And who will be sorting out the bar while you're out?" Brendan quizzes his sister, but Brendan already knows the answer. "Don't take all day with it Chez"
Ste watches Brendan leave the room still managing to eat another slice of toast on the go. "Who is Macca?"
"Another barman who works here love, he's on holiday at the moment. So glad you're alright, ye know Brendan has a big heart, it's just a little more hidden that's all. Plus he gave ye one of his best shirts back"
"He said it looked better on me" Ste mumbled his words still glancing back to where Brendan had left. "I appreciate this, really I do. An I promise to work hard and prove myself worthy of your trust"
"I know ye will love, finish up your breakfast eh? Then you can tell me about last night and how Brendan brought ye back here"
Ste feels better in his new trousers and shoes and the black t shirt pulls over his body to shape to his chest snugly. He wanders into the bar a minute or two after ten o'clock and glances around for sign of Brendan. The bar manager can be heard climbing up the stairs from the cellar, crate of beers in his hands. Brendan stops to feed his gaze over Ste, he looks smart, hair all shower soft and styled. His eyes are wide showing off a renewed confidence.
"Ye look..." Brendan trails off but nods impressed.
"Thanks. The t shirt fits alright too" Ste strokes down the black material stretching it more against his chest. "A little tight but..."
"No, looks great, fits fine Steven." Brendan clears his throat and places the crate down heavy on the bar.
"Let's get down to business. Have ye ever pulled a pint?"
Brendan's thick Irish accent echoed through the empty bar, his footsteps loud on the wooden floor as he rounded the bar to stand next to Ste. Ste watched the confidence ooze through his swagger, you could see he was at ease here, behind the bar basking in the glory of being in charge. And it suited him, gave him a strength that Ste hoped one day he could find within himself. Brendan gave him the courage to believe he could. Ste realised he was staring at him again, a habit they strangely had both picked up.
"Well, never found the need to. I mean, is there a technique to pulling one?" Ste asked curious. Brendan rolled up his shirt sleeves and grabbed a pint glass. He takes it to one of the pumps attached to the bar. "The best pint always has a good head on it. Better the head better the beer."
"Okay, its gotta give good head" Ste jokes standing in front of another pump handle. His eyes shoot up to Brendan's who seems unimpressed by Ste's playfulness. "Sorry, sense of humour got left in bed I take it"
Brendan stands closer Ste, glass in one hand and pump handle in the other. Ste watches Brendan pull down on the handle. "Tilt it like this, and fill the glass. If ye get it right, ye get a good creamy head."
"Alright. My turn then." Ste nudges Brendan out of the way and holds out his tongue trying to pour a pint of Guinness. "Too much head?" Ste laughs out loud as the glass is overloaded.
"Funny ain't ye. And that is a classic fail. Still with more practice you'll master the art of it. I take it I don't need to show ye which end of a broom sweeps up, right?"
"Yup I know that. It's the bit that's not stuck up your backside" Ste bites back holding his hands against his hips. Brendan darts his eyes up and let's out a dry laugh before quickly walking around Ste to another part of the bar.
At lunchtime Cheryl invites Ste over to their usual table to have a spot of lunch she's made them, vegetable soup and some crusty bread. Ste savours the smell of it with a smile and catches Brendan's eye as he walks behind the bar. Ste looks back at Cheryl. "What about your brother?"
"Oh he'll have his after ours no doubt love. So how's it going with Bren, is he teaching ye the ropes?"
"Hm, yes. I know how to pull a pint, although it did take a few attempts. I've served a little but mostly cleared up or talked to people. That's the best bit, people say all sorts when tipsy" Ste hummed eating his soup.
"That they do. Confessions and everything. Get a few regulars in, they've all got a story"
"Think most of us has one of them." Ste ponders a moment, he sees Brendan again, this time speaking to a customer. He's leaning forward so that his arms fill out the shirt he wears. "Do ya think Brendan will ever like me?"
Cheryl lifts her head up and looks between Ste and Brendan. "Has he said he doesn't like ye?"
"Not in so many words, but you're the reason he came to find me. And he keeps looking at me with his intense eyes" Ste explained, turning away from the bar.
"Well babe...ye only know that because you're always looking at him. Why else would ye notice?"
Both Ste and Cheryl smile then as she dips her bread into the burnt orange soup. "When we lost our Da a year ago and he gave us this pub, Brendan really threw himself into getting the place back up and running, not for Da - they weren't close, but more for himself ye know? It had been dwindling over the years but now it's thriving. He works all hours and I never see him just enjoy life, at least not how he's meant too"
"He's a little self righteous - sorry. We spoke some last night but all I got back was a grump. He loves you though Chez, he told me and seems dead protective actually. Be nice to see him smile proper, I mean, it would be weird but nice. Like for you." Ste said, he spooned some more soup into his mouth quickly.
"I'm glad ye stayed Ste" Cheryl rested her hand over Ste's wrist.
"Aw, ta. Me too. Let's toast to that... to new friends"
"To new friends" Cheryl said and turned to her brother "And to new beginnings"
It's late in the evening, the pub is all closed up for the night and Ste has moved from his bedroom into the lounge, crunching the remainder of a snack he'd been eating. Ste wanders in wearing Brendan's shirt, it just covers the bottom of his boxer shorts as he fastens up the buttons. Ste is in a world of his own and doesn't realise anyone else is still awake until he sees Brendan sat down on the sofa, legs hanging wide open stretching the material of his trousers to almost breaking point. Ste halts his steps while Brendan glares at him, watches the front of Ste's boxer shorts become hidden beneath the baggy shirt.
"Jesus..." Brendan sighs and matches Ste's eye line.
"Hey, didn't think anyone was up." Ste wipes some dry biscuit from the corner of his mouth. "Erm I hope ya don't mind, but better than walking around in the buff init?"
"Hm, yep" Brendan nods darting his gaze to the tv.
Ste looks down at himself then back up at Brendan. "What...do I look stupid cos it's too big?"
"No, not at all."
"Are you okay Brendan?" Ste asks compelled.
"I'm grand Steven" Brendan replies and chucks the tv remote on the coffee table. "The shirt looks good on ye - I've said"
"I know. So what do ya do for fun around ere then - after you've finished in the bar, how do ya unwind?" Ste plonks himself down next to Brendan on the sofa, stretches his legs out and against the coffee table. Brendan darts his eyes along their shape and the hair that covers them, looks back up to Ste who's got his eyebrows raised. "Had a good scan of em - my legs?"
"What? No. I was looking at your feet on the table, manners and that"
"Oh, right sorry." Ste crosses his legs as he sits up. "So, fun?"
"I don't know do I? There's a tv there, watch that"
"Am I a threat or somet, cause you treat me like I am. Or maybe your attitude stinks 24-7 an not just on your good days" Ste grins grabbing the remote he flickers through some channels. "What do ya like to watch?"
"Maybe I'm sick of your incessant talking, maybe that's why I'm less than accommodating to ye" Brendan snipes before looking back at the television.
"Fine, be on your own then. Moody git" Ste huffs standing up and tosses the remote back on the sofa. It bounces and hits Brendan's thigh. Brendan grabs it and switches the tv off in anger and settles his head back on the cushions hard.
Ste finished off clearing the glasses on some of the tables in the bar when a new voice spoke to him. He'd worked there a while now, couple of weeks to become used to the regulars, all having their own unique chatter and usual tipple. A young man wandered straight to the bar before capturing Ste's gaze.
"Hello, can I get beer please?" The young man asked with a cheery smile. Ste had to pass by him to gain access to the bar placing the empty glasses there.
"Coming right up, bottle or pint?"
Bottle, larger – thanks. I see Brendan's been hiring again, you're right up his street, or alleyway. He never was fussy"
"Ya what? And no, Brendan didn't hire me. It were Chez, his sister that helped me out. Not sure how Brendan feels about it, he's not exactly the easiest man to figure out" Ste placed the open bottle on the bar for the customer. "Can I get ya owt else?"
"No thanks" The young man glances back at an empty table. "Tell ya what - why don't you join me huh?"
"Oh I can't do that. Boss won't be 'appy will he?"
"Allowed a break, plus there's a good view of the bar to serve if need be. I work here too, my shift don't start till tonight, had some time off. I'm Brendan's ex girlfriends cousin. I'm the reason it broke off between them" The man smirked as he sidled away to one of the tables leaving a gobsmacked Ste stood catching flies. After a few moments Ste decided to join the stranger out of curiosity if nothing else.
"I'm Macca, what's your name?"
"Ste, been working here a couple of weeks now. So, you and Brendan?" Ste pressed wanting to skip the pleasantries.
"We were a thing if that's what ye wanna call it. His Dad Seamus was the reason for the 'girlfriend' but Brendan wasn't happy and we got together for a while. I was into him big time but for Brendan it was more of convenience."
"Brendan I don't know so well, we kinda wind each other up. He's bossy an throwin' his weight around and I give as good as I get" Ste smiled to himself.
Macca pursed his lips. "So any gossip since I've been away? Has he finally shaved off his moustashe?"
"Oh I like the tashe" Ste interrupted thoughtfully. "Looks alright, he's growin' stubble at the moment like, but ya can still see the outline of it if ya look close enough" Ste glanced with uncertainty at Macca's knowing grin. "What?"
"Ye fancy him"
"No, I really don't"
"Good. Ye should stay well away"
Ste sniffed and chewed indolently at his bottom lip "Do ya still like him then?"
"Not anymore. So if ye ever wanna go out for a drink, clubbing. I could show ye around. You're not from these parts, Manchester accent if I'm not mistaken"
"Thank you, I knew someone would recognise it. Yeah, long way from home - but that were my choice. And even though my beginnings in Ireland were pretty hard going, I'm starting to like the place. Has a good feeling to it, plus the people are friendly enough, at least most are. So you've visited Manchester?"
"Yeah, a couple times, just for the night life. Only young once right? It's good in the city here though, if ye know the right places to go. Come along one night, I'll introduce ye to Dublin properly. Don't mind me asking ye out do ye?"
"No, cos, well I'm single. But...like a date ya mean? I dunno..."
Macca turns towards the bar and sees Brendan looking over at them sat together. He places his hand over Ste's wrist. "Doesn't have to be a date, just come out for fun."
"Hello Brendan, something of interest over here?" Macca casually gazed up to Brendan who stood above him, hands dug deep inside his pockets. Brendan gave a cursory glance to Ste who almost choked on his drink.
"I were just having a break" Ste explained hesitantly.
"I noticed. Not too sure about the company ye are keeping here Steven, I came over to warn ye"
"Ever the comedian. Ignore Brendan, he has to be the big man with an audience present" Macca spoke with an annoyed tone, nose firmly out of joint.
"I am a big man, ye can testify to that" Brendan drawled flicking his eyes back onto Ste. "As can the pull of my suit trousers"
Macca had become the real life gooseberry sat in between them. Unsure of his own existence Macca reached out to touch Ste's arm, shaking him from his thoughts. "Earth to Ste?"
"Ey?" Ste asked half listening. He dragged his eyes off Brendan then and averted them to his glass of orange. "Sorry, just stuff on me mind"
"Right, good, almost lost ya then. So here's my number. Nice to meet a friendly face in here, but then again anything makes up for misery guts here. I'll be back for my shift tonight" Macca said, and stood up to leave. He left Brendan sneering with a goodbye wink in his direction before the older man slid into the seat next to Ste. He kept his eyes anywhere else but on Ste now.
"Well. Quite the pals now" Brendan spoke slowly sliding the card with a scribbled out number on it towards Ste. Ste picked it up and read over the number.
"Barely know him do I"
"Yeah, still took his number pretty quick, didn't ye?" As Brendan turns, Ste meets his gaze. His blue eyes dart quickly piercing into Brendan's own with such intensity he almost believes he can read his mind.
"What is your problem Brendan, ey? The fact he's taking an interest in me an not you? Not my fault things didn't work out – although I can see why" Ste scoffed supping his drink while Brendan tittered to himself.
"Ye think I'm remotely bothered in him? I got bored Steven, he was too easy. Like putty in my hands"
"So now ya want a challenge do ya? Someone who won't be so willing to roll over for big bad Brendan"
"Ye think I'm bad? Ye ain't seen nothing boy"
"I ain't a boy, and no I don't think that. You do though, at least that's what ya want people to believe. Never considered it was Macca who got bored of you? Course not cos that would mean thinking of someone other than yourself wouldn't it. If you'll excuse me - gotta bar to run" Ste finished his drink and moved to clear the table. He walked away before Brendan could structure a comeback. Brendan fleeted a smile following him.
"Running the bar? Thought that was my job?"
"It is, when ya here"
"Looking for a promotion?"
"Nah, that suit wouldn't fit my smaller frame. And the uniform, it's gotta be dead tight, don't it Brendan?" Ste replied serving a customer that got between them. Brendan frowned waiting until the man left the bar.
"It's tailored I'll have ye know, to my measurements"
"Well they ain't used the measure properly, unless it were done on a really cold day" Ste fiddles with the vodka bottle behind him.
Brendan licked the sheen back to his lips and leaned down on his folded arms. "He's bad news, Macca I mean. Where is he taking ye?"
Ste paused changing the optics, smiles as he turns around. Ste lays his lithe body along the wooden bar too, settles close next to Brendan. "It bothers ya, doesn't it, him asking me out"
"No" Brendan shakes his head. "Think ye can do better though"
"I'll bear that in mind." Ste angles his face so the words whisper past Brendan's ear. "You're holding up the queue"
Brendan moves to stand up, sniffs sharply walking backwards to let the new customer gain access to the bar. Ste watches him leave, triumphant smirk on his face.
That evening Brendan walked in to the lounge wearing his jeans and blue hoodie. Ste dropped his head to one side to look, fledged out on the sofa in front of the tv. Ste liked his casual clothes, somehow bringing Brendan on an even keel with him, he was more relaxed this way. The room flickered with the light of it showing off Ste's face, eyes while they wandered silently over him.
"Not wearing my shirt tonight?" Brendan asks standing above Ste noting he still wore his work t shirt that clung to his body along with matching black boxers. Ste shifted up from his lying position to give Brendan space to sit down. He brushes some crumbs off himself quickly and coughs his throat clearer.
"My shirt, an it's in the wash" Ste muttered, folding his arms around his chest.
"What's up with your face? Swallowed a bee did ye?" Brendan thinly smiles grabbing the remote to flick the channel over.
"Oi I were watchin' that!" Ste took the remote back from Brendan's hand.
"My house Steven"
"I was in here first, thought ya didn't like watching tv anyway. Just cos I'm sat here init" Brendan reached over taking the remote again and hid it behind him.
"Come get it, if ye really want it back"
Ste huffed and went to move off the couch until Brendan stopped him. "What?"
"Are ye ever going to take up my offer?"
"Only in your dreams. So what's on then?"
Brendan smiles and turns to look at Ste. "There a Johnny Cash documentary on in a minute. Waited all day so"
"Okay" Ste nodded crossing his legs comfier. "Alright. But tomorrow we watch somet I like, agreed?"
"Fine, whatever"
They continue to watch the adverts in silence, Ste fidgets a little with the awkwardness, sighs and plays with the hem of his top. Brendan glanced at Ste throughout beginning to catch on to the way he moves. Ste can't stand it any longer and turns too, Brendan stares intrigued.
"Just ask me" Ste says flicking his hand away from his body.
"Ask ye what?"
"Anything, I mean aren't ya curious about me too? Been here weeks, we've done this nearly every night sat here. Argued over the tv, you've hidden the remote again. I've stormed out or you've sulked..."
"I may do a lot of things but sulk isn't one of them" Brendan scratches idly at his moustashe. "How old are ye?"
"Safe, very safe. I'm Twenty one, just. I feel older though, had to grow up quickly. You?"
"Twenty seven and I feel about right I think."
"Ya look older"
"What?" Brendan looks horrified. "How old?"
"Thought you were in ya thirties. Must be the grump in ya ey" Ste can't help but grin as he watches the tv, eventually looking at Brendan. "Or maybe it's your facial hair"
"Are ye being serious? Over thirty?" Brendan angled his body with Ste's. "I'll have to shave it off now"
"Don't do that. It suits ya, all this stubble..." Ste breaks off reaching out but not touching. "I were joking. You know how good ya look Bren"
"Why did you really bring me back that night?" Ste pulls at his t shirt again and flickers his eyes up when Brendan doesn't answer. "Because ya could've told Chez I was long gone, or that you couldn't find me"
"I can't tell ye yet, but it'll make sense when I do" Brendan turns to the tv. "Documentaries on"
Ste bumps himself upright again, can see Brendan doing the same in the corner of his eye. They sit in silence and watch the documentary in full.
A month later
Ste leaned on the bar, elbow down and cheek resting on the heal of his hand. He looked as bored as he felt for the last hour, the pub had been unusually quiet and Ste believed all the punters had gone on a collective holiday. When Macca walked in to start his shift, Ste flinched momentarily thinking he was a customer only to huff back down again.
"Jeez why the long face?" Macca quizzed wandering in and around the bar. He took off his jacket and hung it up before rocking on his folded arms placing himself in full view of the main doors.
"It's been dead in ere, I've cleaned every glass, changed all the optics, restocked the snacks and not one person has come through them doors." Ste huffed again just to illustrate how bored he is.
"It'll pick up, only just gone twelve. Where's his high and mighty today?"
"Bren? Not seen him yet"
"Bren, ye sound like Cheryl. He hated me callin' him that so I'd be careful saying it around him."
"What even when you were seeing him? He's not all that, just a front if ya ask me."
They hear the footsteps echo down the stairs before they see Brendan walk through to the bar. He's dressed in a dark grey suit with a light blue shirt on underneath. Ste glances at him and resumes the same tired stance at the bar, Brendan fills his eye line leaving Ste a good view of the dark hair on his chest where his shirt lays undone and the silver cross that nestles comfortably between them.
"Ey. I don't pay ye to slack off Steven, how's about serving?"
Ste stands up straight and looks around at the zero amount of customers. "Whom am I to serve? The invisible man sat next to ya perhaps? Oh wait no, he just left."
"Witty wee fuck ain't ye? Never knew ye had it in ye, almost in hysterics here" Brendan clapped his hands before swiftly turning on his feet. "Macca, make Steven a coffee will ye? He always gets like this without his overbearing sugar fix"
"How would ye know that?" Macca replies bitterly glaring at Ste.
Ste ignored the question along with Brendan and loosened his mouth to open with curiosity. "E'yar, where are ya off to anyway?"
Brendan halted at the door looking back "Not that it's any of your business, Cash and Carry. Then I thought a nice lunch out, catch some springtime sun"
"Can I come out with you? Cause I have been here since dead early and I've done all me jobs. Plus you can show me what to do and I can go for you can't I?"
"Hey, I wanna go to the Cash and Carry, I've worked here longer – no offence Ste – it should be me you take" Macca butts into the conversation and Brendan steps over to the bar again.
"Macca you've just arrived no? Steven has been here all morning. Ye can come along, need someone to carry the bags don't I" Brendan moves to leave and Ste grins hurriedly getting his coat on. Macca is left fuming behind him as Ste rushes to the top of the stairs and Brendan was right about catching the sun. It's warmth instantly heats through Ste's clothes leaving him feeling content.
A car horn sounds nearby and Ste sees Brendan pull up in a silver BMW. He can't help smile as he gets in it, feeling around the interior. "Can I drive?"
"On a scale of one to ten, that has gotta be your daftest question. Actually, humour me, can ye drive?"
"Well yeah" Ste nods pulling on his seat belt. "Used to joyride for a livin'"
Brendan stares at Ste while chewing his gum, his mouth gradually opening with a smirk. "You're serious ain't ye?"
"Ya know I am" Ste said taking the tip of his tongue around his smile. "Never owt like this though, nice set of wheels"
"Not a chance boy. I sleep with these car keys under my pillow"
"Ya need to get out more then" Ste closes his eyes and settles his head back on the rest. Brendan shakes away his smile placing on his sunglasses and pulls away from the kerb.
"Cash and Carry ain't exactly the Ritz ye know?"
"So, it gets me out Brendan. Cooped up in there does my head in sometimes" Ste said, opening the window. They pass by the Liffey bridge and Ste stretches around to look at it encouraging Brendan to do the same.
"Missing it are ye?" Brendan asks glancing at Ste. "Plenty of space on it if ye do"
"Oi! That's not bloody funny! You ever been homeless ey? Let me tell ya it's fucking shit. Nowhere to go to get clean or a decent meal. People look at ya differently too, think you've done somet bad to end up that way when half the time it's not like that. So don't...don't take the piss when you're clueless right"
"Keep your hair on, it was a joke but I'm, yeah. Sorry I guess. So, why was ye – homeless I mean?"
"Circumstances. I made a bad decision, took a risk and it didn't work out. Problem is you feel embarrassed asking for help so ya just put up with it."
"Was ye scared?"
"Wouldn't you be?" Ste shrugged it off and gazed out of the side window. "I hated being alone the most, the amount of nights I'd have given owt to have someone to be with. Someone to hold me. Don't laugh"
"Hey, ye see me laughing? You're not gonna have to go through that again"
Ste silenced and watched them pull into a busy car park next to a large warehouse building in front of them. Brendan gazes out of the windscreen at it.
"Well, I hope you're feeling strong Steven. Got a list a mile long thanks to my sister, oh and don't be wanderin' off in there, big place, easy to get lost in"
"Aww, want me to hold ya hand in case Brendan? Place all big an scary for ya?" Ste spoke sarcastically chuckling as Brendan removed himself from the car unimpressed.
The last of the bags were placed heavy in the boot of the car, the chassis groaning at the weight as Brendan slammed the boot shut. Ste's stomach began to grumble, something they both noticed. Ste rubbed against his tummy and flicked his eyes up to Brendan.
"It is past lunchtime" Brendan spoke turning to look around them and the area they were in. "There's bound to be a cafe round here somewhere, we could drive into the city get something to eat"
"I am kinda peckish. Only if you don't mind a detour. What about you, hungry too?" Ste asked walking back to the car.
"I'm always hungry."
"Ya can't always be hungry, mealtimes maybe"
"No..." Brendan steps closer to Ste when he stops to look back. "I really am, always...hungry" Brendan smiles and tilts his head to watch the bob of Ste's throat. Brendan unlocked the car so they could get in and fastened his seat belt. "So. Do ye have a favourite restaurant to eat at?"
"Restaurant? Wait, Bren. I haven't...I'm skint till payday forget it yeah? I'll just have a buttie at the pub later" Ste reasoned, slight glow to his cheeks. Brendan could be heard taking in a deep breath.
"My treat, just don't be tellin' the other staff yeah. They'll think it's favourtism."
"What other staff? Macca you mean? I think you've already treated him plenty anyhow, ya were together after all"
"Yeah we were, but it wasn't what you're thinking. I never took him for a meal out or anything."
"So why are we going then?"
"Hey, ye aren't thinking this is somet else are ye, because I ain't, we ain't..."
"No, god no!" Ste scoffed loudly, shifting himself uncomfortably. "Just meant, never mind. Let's just eat, and I'll pay ya back"
"Steven, I just told ye, it's on me. Now belt up"
"Ey?" Ste shot Brendan a quick look. Brendan points to the seat belt with a quirked eyebrow. "Oh, right, course"
Brendan drives for a while and during that time Ste glares out of the window watching the world go by. A restaurant catches his eye when they stop at some traffic lights, it looks nice on the outside, and expensive on the inside. He's never set foot in a place like it in his life, Ste suspects the food would be top quality.
"Ye want to go in there?" Brendan's voice breaks his concentration, trickles down Ste's ear leaving a shiver in it's wake. Ste turns back to look at him.
"Don't be daft, they'd never let me in there. I was just looking at it, keep driving" Ste moves his eyes to the side and waits for them to drive away or at least set off in any vicinity that's not here. They move eventually but in the lane nearest to the restaurant.
"Of course they'd let ye in there." Brendan corrects Ste and indicates left so he can drive into the car park. Ste is unsure and fidgety when they pull up and Brendan turns off the ignition. "Come on Steven"
"I'll embarrass ya, no. You go, I'll stay in the car and get somet at the pub after"
"Steven, will ye stop this please. I never treat people, take advantage while ye can. I'm hungry and I ain't eating alone"
Ste watches Brendan get out of the car and proceeds to open Ste's door leaving him little option. Ste nibbles down on his bottom lip. "What if they realise I've been homeless and they refuse to serve me cos I look like I have nothing? I'm no one Brendan"
"Listen, if they dare to act that way I'll give em a piece of my mind. Stop putting yourself down, ye are a barman in one of Dublin's finest pubs. Ye are someone Steven."
Brendan gestures towards the restaurant and Ste walks side by side with him until they go in. It's modern inside, cream and brown décor that gives off a relaxed atmosphere. Ste smiles looking around and when Brendan asks for their best table he can't help but feel important for the first time in his life. Ste pushes down his hands inside his jacket pockets and follows the tall waiter and Brendan to their seats. He catches people looking at him as he wanders by, they are staring at him and the initial unease begins to creep up inside his belly. They all know where he's come from, they will have seen him sat on the street as they've passed by and ignored his existence. Ste feels dirty and out of place and quickly turns to leave.
Brendan's hand feels comforting, strong guiding him back again. They end up close together, Brendan holding Ste in place. His eyes have a sparkle about them, an ocean blue that Ste had never failed to be hypnotised by and he wonders if it's just him this works on, that bewitching glare or whether every person falls under Brendan's spell.
"Um, wanna sit down now? I don't think we can stand to eat the whole time" Brendan clears his throat, hand relaxing and breaking their connection. He's smiling when Ste looks back up at him.
"Right, yeah. Good idea, thanks" Ste replies coyly and moves to sit down at the round table that's smartly presented. Ste takes off his jacket and links his hands tightly messing with his fingers beneath the table.
"Hey, relax won't ye? You'll give yourself a hernia at this rate. It's just a place to eat alright. Here's a menu, knock yourself out" Brendan says encouragingly and passes Ste a large menu to look at, it's thick and leather backed and feels a little contrived.
"Really? I can order anything?"
"Yep, anything. Except the lobster, sweet Jesus are they catching and shipping it in first?!" Brendan exclaims widening his eyes as he reads the menu. Ste starts to belly laugh then and the sound of it compels Brendan to look at him amused. "What ye laughing at?"
"Your face Bren, went all funny lookin'" Ste giggles slowing down the honking laughter, his cheeks must be bright red because the heat from them is profound whist Brendan looks at him in a way that Ste's heart jolts with. "God, just stop it"
"Stop what?" Brendan asks, he's mesmerised by Ste. That blush is captivating. Brendan swallows deeply.
"Just looking at me like that, I dunno what you're trying to find but I guarantee won't have it."
"The next time ye put yourself down I'll have ye on pot wash for a month ye hear me?" Brendan warns with a pointed finger, Ste's lashes flicker the long length of them, they settle half lidded as he reads the menu.
"Yes boss" Ste bites down hard on his bottom lip, he knows Brendan is smiling again. "Gonna order their posh burger an chips, just fancy somet greasy"
"Hmm, ye know what I'll join ye in that. Sounds great. What about a nice wine to go with it?"
"Shurrup Bren, wine. Beer more like!"
They order and when the meal arrives the plates are huge and Ste's mouth is just agape for many moments while Brendan immediately starts to scoff at it like it was his last meal. Ste grabs the ketchup and squirts a generous amount over his chips and watches on fondly eating as much as he can of the large portion laid before him. He manages half of everything before giving up stuffed in satisfaction and leaning back on his chair.
"Thank you, that were an ace meal, I couldn't eat another chip though"
"Allow me to help" Brendan suggests pushing his own empty plate away and starting on Ste's. "You're welcome. Feel better now do ye, being here?"
"Yeah, it just feels weird. Never been any place like this. I'm getting looks too, which don't help"
"No wonder everyone looks at ye, you're..." Brendan pauses and eats a chip to silence himself, then he drinks some beer while Ste's eyes burn into him.
"I'm what?" Ste feels his skin prickle in defense.
"With me" Brendan quickly adds. "They're wondering how I managed to pull someone like ye"
"Give over. Someone like me, what's that supposed to mean?"
"Do I really have to spell it out to ye now?" Brendan snaps irritated but Ste isn't backing down.
"Yeah, I wanna know. Someone like me ya said, so I'm what ey?" Ste begins to raise his voice and Brendan flicks up his eyes at the people looking over at them, he swallows catching the waiter's eye line.
"Steven, it doesn't matter yeah. You're drawing attention to yourself"
"I don't care about them right. What's wrong with me ey? This was a bad idea, an I told ya it was. I don't ever fit" Ste almost sobs and stands to leave.
"Ye look good" Brendan releases a breath eyes darting around. "Okay? Really good. That's why they're looking at ye - it's why I look."
Brendan rounds his head and places his beer down, the people in the restaurant are looking at Ste and it irritates him. Brendan purses his lips and sits up straight broadening his shoulders and feeling bold he looks at Ste then.
"And while we're at it, ye need to stop wearing my shirt around me" Brendan says disarming Ste completely.
"What - why? Ya gave it to me!" Ste suddenly protests, he's still standing up but Ste's past caring now.
"I know but... how am I supposed to concentrate seeing ye in it"
"Wow, it's all coming out now init ey? Right then, you can't wear that hoodie in the bar no more"
"Wait, the blue one?" Brendan asks and Ste nods in agreement. "Give over, it's old that"
"Don't matter ya still look hot in it, distracts me from my work" Ste admits quietening down his voice.
Brendan waits a few moments before raising his eyebrows and gesturing to the seat next to him. Ste sits back down and stares at the table in disbelief. The waiter that had been itching to come over has done, he begins to clear the plates now and asks if they want to order anything more. Brendan asks for a coffee for them both so they can sit a while longer. His eyes shift over to Ste who has shrunk back into his chair with embarrassment.
"See, now they're looking at me too, screw em yeah?" Brendan continues to look at Ste fight his shame. "Was gonna throw that hoodie out too"
"Don't ya dare throw it" Ste speaks finally with a chuckle, rubs his hands over his face to try and cool it down. "God, I'm never coming here again"
"Me either, you're so embarrassing Steven" Brendan laughs and it leaves him surprised at the ease of it. Ste leans forward bringing them close again and Brendan looks at Ste, connects their eyes.
"I'm still wearing your shirt" Ste confessed with a wicked grin.
"I'll have to control myself more then" Brendan said, pausing to dart his eyes with Ste's. "Why don't ye fit - tell me so I can understand"
"If you're told something long enough, or made to feel a certain way you begin to believe it. It becomes real."
"In that case, I'm gonna make it my mission to tell ye everyday how ye do fit. Ye do run that bar Steven, I've seen ye. Don't need me around to help no more"
"I do need you, around the bar I mean. Plus you look good too"
"Shouldn't be looking ye know?" Brendan says sitting up straight. "I'm your boss"
"An I'm your employee, don't stop you" Ste feels the blush of his skin consume him. "How did we get onto this subject, must be your fault"
"More like yours" Brendan nudges Ste in the arm as the waiter brings their coffee's. "Best get these supped then we can get back. Chez will go ape we've been out ages"
Brendan sips at his coffee. "What was it like back home?"
"There ain't time enough to tell ya that Bren. The reason I came here was because of my step dad, he hurt me again. He hurt me a lot as a kid and my mam too, but then she died a few months back. I decided after that it was time to leave. I stowed away on the ferry to get over here"
"What? Ye are a stowaway?!" Brendan raised his voice causing them to be looked upon with distaste again. Brendan rolls his eyes and shifts his body around to look at Ste. "Are ye mad?"
"I didn't have a passport or much money, I saw an opportunity and I went for it. Besides I met someone aboard the ferry that helped me out with a ticket. Don't ya dare judge me, you've no idea what it's like. You - perfect upbringing, family who cares"
"Hey, it weren't a bed of roses. I lost my mother too. And I could have lived without my old man believe me, he was a tyrant. Hard faced and a stickler with the rules. I grew up in a home where a man couldn't be with another man, even though I knew who I was. I lived in fear of my father right up until he died. He left us the pub, money and a legacy of bad debts but I've built up the business, along with Chez and we're solid now. It's a place to be proud of" Brendan gulped down the rest of his drink and looked over at Ste's.
"It is a place to be proud of" Ste agreed finishing his own coffee. Brendan places the money down for the meal they've had and walks out leaving Ste to hurry out himself. They set off in the car again and Ste reaches over to switch on the radio turning to look at Brendan driving.
"When are you going to the Cash and Carry again?"
"Not for a while yet, got plenty stock in the back. Why ye ask?"
"Cause I wanna come with ya again"
"Where on earth have ye been? I've had to come downstairs and help Macca with the lunchtime rush, we're rushed off our feet!" Cheryl huffs in annoyance arms heavy against her hips she darts her gaze between Brendan and Ste. They calmly look at one another then, and smile accordingly. Ste feels a warmth prickle at his skin again and quickly sidles away to behind the bar stretching out of his jacket. Cheryl has watched the movement of Ste carefully then looks back at her brother with curious eyes.
"What's going on?" Cheryl asks slowly, her voice low. Brendan shrugs in defiance completely ignoring her question and carrying the remainder of the bags through. Ste nibbles innocently at his bottom lip when she instead approaches him.
"Ste, has something happened between ye and my brother?"
"No. Just went Cash and Carry."
"For all this time, Ste you've been gone hours. If he has done something to upset ye I will sort it love"
"Bren hasn't upset me"
"Bren?"
"See I warned him not to call Brendan that. He always went mad at me for it" Macca says butting in on the conversation. "Left me all lunch, so I am gonna go off for an extended break"
"Okay, I'll be fine. An I'm sorry we took so long, didn't even notice the time to be honest" Ste flicks his head to the side when Brendan appears again, the younger boy stares long enough for Cheryl to wander her own gaze back at her brother then at Ste again.
"Bren, ye okay to help out while I have a late lunch?" Cheryl speaks cautiously still looking between her brother and Ste.
"Sure, take your time. Reckon me and Steven here have things under control." Brendan's eyes lock with Ste's who hasn't stopped looking. "Isn't that right?"
"Yeah, yep we'll be fine Chez. Going somewhere nice?"
"Just the local shop...are ye sure nothing has happened cos ye both look different" Cheryl pointed between them lost in translation somewhere along the way. Brendan and Ste both look at her then.
"All's fine Chez, ye go enjoy yourself." Brendan helps encourage his sister out of the pub and when he returns Brendan heads straight for upstairs.
"Hey where ya going?" Ste moves to stop Brendan. His eyes flick down to Ste's hand and slowly removes it from his arm. Ste falters and steps back a little.
"I'm going upstairs Steven, where else"
"But ya said you were helping me in the bar"
"Ye can manage quite efficiently without me"
"But I thought that..." Ste muttered flicking his lashes high to look at Brendan. Ste could already see the walls around him again, Brendan bringing up the barrier that continued to make things harder than they should be. Ste stepped back further.
"Ye thought what exactly?" Brendan asked tilting his head to one side. "I pay ye to do the skivvy work so I don't have too"
"There he is, wondered when you'd be back. Ya know what, do one, don't need ya here. Never did" Ste spoke coolly and held emotionless eyes as he did. Ste walked behind the bar to serve a customer quickly forgetting Brendan's existence. Brendan moved to answer back, but faltered his words and sniffed sharply. He moved quickly up the stairs leaving Ste glancing back.
Ste blew out a tired breath, the pub had gone quiet again and the last of the punters in there were finishing up the last orders. He used a damp cloth to wipe the shine back into the dark wooden bar and collected up the odd number of empty glasses. Macca moved out from the back with his coat in his hand and smiled briefly at Ste.
"Been a long day huh? I'm actually looking forward to my bed now." Macca yawned as he spoke and propped up against the bar. "Bet you're sick of this place, living and working here I mean. What's it like living with his lordship?"
Ste snorted by way of a reply, he wasn't exactly happy with Brendan right now, in fact he was pissed off at his hot and cold behaviour. Ste glanced back at Macca and tossed the cloth he'd been using under the bar.
"He's infuriating, reckon that's the only word to describe him. Ya know I actually thought we were getting somewhere, finding some common ground at last. Then he goes and turns it around completely."
"Why don't ye have a drink with me? One won't hurt will it, and it's not like we haven't earned it."
"Nah, I'm not drinking the profits, like stealing and I am grateful for everything they've done for me. Especially Chez."
"Okay, come out to a club then? Don't lock yourself away Ste, ya gotta get out there and enjoy yourself. We could have fun you know?"
"Maybe we could, but I dunno"
"He'll break your heart" Macca placed his hand on Ste's shoulder. "He broke mine"
"What ya on about now, think you've already been at the drink tonight" Ste shrugged off his hold and moved around the pub again looking for more glasses to clear, but the work had already been completed. Ste turned to look at Macca and licked his lips wet again. "You're wrong ya know"
"No I'm not, I can categorically say I'm right because... I've been there. He's mysterious, doesn't give much away so ya wanna know more because of it. I believe it's a way to get your attention, he loves that, being the center of it. One minute he's all interested and the next..."
"He acts like you're a stranger to him" Ste spoke in a soft tone, and one that had a surprising amount of hurt within it, Ste flicked his eyes up at Macca. "Maybe there's another side though, one you've not seen"
"And ye have?" Macca spoke incredulous. He pulled on his coat and held the door open in his fingers. "The offer still stands, I'll see ye tomorrow Ste"
Ste watched Macca leave, and now the place was silent with just himself he locked up and switched off all the lights except the ones above the bar. They shone down a soft orange glow over a limited amount of area but it was all Ste had needed to gather his thoughts. He retrieved his phone and stared at Macca's number letting out a long sigh.
"Staring at it won't achieve much"
Ste jumped at the sudden voice and met Brendan's half lidded eyes. He was stood in the dark of the doorway to the upper level of the pub, arms folded against his chest. Ste swallowed and pocketed his phone quickly.
"You're late to help out, everyone has left now an I did it all myself" Ste gestured to the clean area around him. "Enjoyed sitting on your arse have ya?"
"Where in your contract does it stipulate giving me cheek boy? I don't recall seeing that rule"
"I don't have a contract, cos if I did I'd stipulate you getting your hands dirty" Ste snapped back jumping down off the bar stool. Brendan pushed off the door frame and walked closer to him.
"You're the only fella that dares to speak to me like that"
"Aw, pisses ya off does it? Now ya know how it feels" Ste barged into Brendan's shoulder as he passed him but the older man wasn't for having that.
"I had work to finish up, invoices for the business. Calls to make, just because I ain't down in the bar doesn't mean I don't do owt. I can get my hands dirty" Brendan spoke affronted and Ste smirked to himself, this was rich.
"Right, so tomorrow spend the day down here with me, help us run the bar. Show me ya not as lazy as I think ya are" Ste closed the gap between them, Brendan gazing down upon Ste who had somehow gained the upper hand.
"Ye and Macca will do just fine"
"Thought so. Yeah we will actually, I work well with him. We're even gonna go out together, says it'll be a laugh and he's right cause compared to you anything would be fun"
"Fine ye think I can't work a bar? I've ran this place for years long before ye came along Steven"
So why stay up there all evening then?" Ste snapped back in frustration. "We got along earlier didn't we? Or was I just imagining that meal we had? The things you told me"
"I only wanted to give ye back some confidence Steven, ye looked like ye needed it." Brendan watched Ste's expression change instantly leaving the older man shifting on his feet.
"Stay away from me right. I might have to live with ya but that doesn't mean I have to be in the same room as ya."
Brendan listened to Ste stomp hard up each step as he gained on the living quarters upstairs. He stood a moment absently scratching his stubble and wandering a few steps here and there before pausing at a discarded glass and grabbing a hold of it threw it against the optics behind the bar in frustration. The shards sparkled off the light from the bar as they fell noisily to the ground. Brendan sniffed and tapped his hand on the bar before switching off the light to leave.