The lovely occupational therapist sitting across the table from him was an engaging conversationalist, attractive in the way that would always garner a second look (although maybe not a double take), and bright enough to know that Jeremy was just not interested. She leaned toward him with a serious expression. "Jeremy, do you have somewhere else you'd rather be?"

"What? Of course not." His lips curled into that easy, charming smile he so often used to turn around a conversation, and instantly he knew she was right. The smile was reflex, not interest. Worse still, he knew she could see it, too.

"You're not really here, though," she observed.

"I assure you I am completely captivated. Please go on. You were saying about your colleague who spent a summer in Cambridge?"

"My brother. My brother studied at Oxford."

If Jeremy were an easy blusher, now would be the time. "I'm terribly sorry. It has been an incredibly long day and you deserve my full attention. I'm completely mortified, I really am."

His date waved away the apology. "It's fine. You've had a bit of a far away look since you arrived. How about we cut dinner short?"

"I'm at your disposal. There's no excuse for my behavior, and if you'd like to leave I will completely understand. I will of course pick up the bill. Would you like me to call a cab for you?"

"No need, really." She leaned closer and covered his hand again with her own. "Listen, long day or not, I find you very attractive. I live only 3 blocks away and I don't have work tomorrow morning. What do you say?"

Jeremy was genuinely taken by surprise. "You're inviting me to yours?"

"I am." She smiled seductively. He had been wrong about that double take thing. What an attractive woman.

"I... That is incredibly flattering, and I'd like to say yes, but I don't think I should."

"Why not?"

"I...uh. I..." Jeremy found himself flustered and at a loss to explain why he just didn't really think sleeping with this beautiful woman was wise. He didn't know why it was wrong, but he knew it was wrong, and for the first time since he was a teenager that was enough to make him turn her down.

"Is it another woman? Is this a rebound thing? Because I don't mind," she stated matter-of-factly.

"You don't?"

"We're two consenting adults. We can enjoy some time together without any expectation that it's going anywhere."

Why wasn't this easy? This was literally the perfect date, and he was the one sending it pear-shaped. "I want to, but I can't."

She shrugged casually. "Alright. Your loss."

Jeremy sighed. "I have no doubt that is true."

As he watched his date walk away, Jeremy signaled to the waiter that he required the bill, and began to rifle through his pockets for his bank card, coming up empty handed. "Oh bollocks."

. . .

"So I take it this wasn't a love connection?" Mindy slipped into the chair immediately to his left and reached across him to pick up the leather wallet containing the dining bill and scanned it briefly before slotting her card into it.

"I beg your pardon?"

A well-worn Columbia tee shirt peeked out from the little gap her coat made when she sat. Pink sneakers and some sort of soft yoga pants completed the ensemble. The waiter's face was carefully blank as he took the bill, but the quick once over he gave Mindy said it all. Jeremy gave him a very cool look as Mindy snatched a breadroll from the table and began to methodically pull it apart. "Jeremy if it had gone well she'd have paid, or at least be sitting with you right now."

"Oh, that. She'd actually already left before the bill came." Jeremy knew he should probably be at least a bit embarrassed, but instead he was just grateful to see her. And annoyed with the waiter.

"Yikes, that bad?"

"Actually, not at all. She's a very smart and engaging woman. But as you say, I don't think it was a 'love connection.'"

Mindy signed the receipt and shoved her copy along with her card into her coat pocket. "Come on. I'll buy you ice cream."

"Mindy, you know I don't eat ice cream."

"Okay then, I'll have two scoops." She rammed him playfully with her shoulder. "Bad dates and ice cream go together like good dates and ice cream."

"What?"

"Everything goes with ice cream." She waggled her eyebrows suggestively. "You know what I mean?"

"Yes, yes. I get it. Please don't elaborate. I need to still be able to look Danny in the eye tomorrow."

As they stepped out the front door Mindy whispered conspiratorially, "That waiter didn't think much of me. Looked me up and down like I was a downgrade from your previous date."

"Not at all."

"Jeremy, I saw his face. Please tell me you won't bring anyone back to this place. Not everyone can be as secure as me. Even I am not usually as secure as me."

"Yeah, why aren't you angry? I feel like there's a gap in my evening where you should be shouting the words 'How dare you' and 'woman of color' as we get ejected from yet another eatery in Manhattan."

"You make me sound like a drama queen."

Jeremy just raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, I'm a little dramatic. But you say that like it happens all the time."

"Mindy, it happened to us on no less than three occasions."

"When?" Mindy's neck craned as she checked for traffic before darting across the street towards a gelato stand.

Jeremy began ticking off his fingers. "Well, there's the pizza truck you used to frequent when we started our residency, the sandwich shop that put hot sauce on your chicken sandwich, which, I might add, was a fiesta chicken sandwich and was SUPPOSED to be spicy. Then there was the coffee shop across from the office..."

"Hold on, hold on. I don't think you can say we were 'ejected' from a food truck. We're simply banned. And yes, my chicken sandwich was supposed to be spicy, but I resent the way the guy said 'A spicy dish for a spicy dish' when he handed it to me. That was racist."

"Probably racist," Jeremy conceded.

"And the coffee shop was not all my fault. If you remember we were kicked out together. Because we caused a scene...together." Mindy nodded slowly as though Jeremy really needed a prompt to remember how they were caught.

"Okay, that was partially my fault. But you did shout 'how dare you' and we were definitely ejected that time." Jeremy stifled a smile as he recalled the barista's horrified face when they walked out of the toilets. They had attempted to be quiet, but clearly it hadn't worked because the whole room turned toward them as they shuffled out, untucked, hair ruffled. He'd tripped a little on an untied shoelace and looked up to catch Mindy's eye. She started giggling, which set him off and the two of them howled with laughter for a good 5 minutes as they were shoved onto the street.

Mindy's face split with a wide smile, but this time Jeremy started chuckling first. Her laughter overtook his quickly, her whole body shaking as they approached the confused looking kid at the stand. This raucous, gasping, tear-stained laughter was so inelegant, but so intoxicating. He just felt good, like he hadn't really laughed in a long, long time. Too long. He didn't even protest as she ordered a scoop for him.

Taking the proffered frozen treat, Jeremy wiped his eyes. Hers shone as she turned that smile on him again, making his stomach flutter uncomfortably. Feeling suddenly quite sober, he looked away and focused instead on his dessert. "Thanks for that. I don't think I've laughed like that in ages. And thank you for coming to my rescue."

"No problem. You will inevitably have to come to my rescue some day anyway."

He smiled at her. "It would be my great pleasure."

Mindy giggled. "Jeremy, you flirt! Good thing I know you don't mean anything by it. You're dangerous with that dimple and the eyes and everything."

"Hey, I'm more than my looks. We laughed a lot when we were together, didn't we?"

"We weren't together-together. You didn't really let me get to know more than your looks." Mindy's face was solemn, thoughtful. "But I know you now. And yes, you are more than your looks."

Jeremy frowned at his gelato and dropped it in a bin as they passed it on the street.

"Hey, I would have eaten that!" Mindy protested. Gazing at him thoughtfully she reached for his hand and squeezed it. "I meant what I said, Jeremy. You're more than your looks."

"Am I though? I have certainly gotten more popular since I slimmed down again. Even the natural aphrodisiac that is my accent didn't seem to conquer how repellent I clearly was when I was heavy."

"Did it occur to you that maybe your body wasn't the only thing that changed? That maybe you were putting out a vibe that you didn't WANT to be touched?"

"Perhaps."

"Not perhaps. Definitely." She pulled on his hand to make him stop walking. "I'll tell you a secret. I'm not perfect."

"Yes. I know. You asked me the other day if Hillary Clinton was still a Senator. One time when you called me from Boston you asked me 'What time is it in New York?' I've seen you use Red Bull to brush your teeth. Admittedly we were both pissed and I may have actually talked you into it."

"You did! And I'm trying to say something helpful, so stop cataloging my flaws and reminding me that I'm susceptible to stupid suggestions when I'm drunk. Listen to me. I get that all this," she gestured at her body, "does not have universal appeal, but I know in my heart that I have earned the right to love it, just by living in it. And that someone else will love it, too. So I act accordingly."

"So I've noticed." Jeremy gave her a wry smile.

"And guess what? Someone does love it. More than one someone's loved me. Because I loved me first." Mindy nodded firmly. "There are many loveable things about you, Jeremy. You're funny, you're smart, you take responsibility for things, and your charm is not superficial. You're genuinely kind and thoughtful. You have a great body, but your body was just as worthy when you weren't this fit. To paraphrase someone I know 'You're a man, look like a man.' Eat ice cream now and again, laugh a lot, and let women know the real you. You're great."

Jeremy looked down to where Mindy was still holding his hand and tried to swallow the lump in his throat. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"You were wrong though, Mindy." His stomach felt like the hard knot in his throat. This evening had begun with a lukewarm date with a woman who didn't know him and would never get to know him, but here he stood holding the hand of a woman he didn't think knew him, and she not only knew him but liked him. It was revelatory, and exciting and absolutely outside of his experience. And impossible. He pulled his hand away and smiled, hoping it wasn't as hollow as he felt. "You are perfect."

Mindy grinned and pushed his arm playfully. "Flirt!"