(Lapis P.O.V.)
I am Lapis Lazuli, and right now I feel awful.
Peridot's been trying all day to make me smile, but nothing has worked. I'll give her credit. She can be funny and probably cheer just about anyone up. Just not me. At least, not right now.
I feel so guilty right now, and I don't think anything could make me feel better. Everyone might think I did something honorable, but I've never been honorable to anyone or anything in my life.
I betrayed Homeworld. I hurt the Earth. I withheld information from the Diamonds. I created a monster. I lied to Steven about my past. I'm just an awful gem with no honor that doesn't belong to either side.
The real reason I feel awful, though, is that I had imprisoned a gem who had spared my life behind the Diamonds' backs.
"Anything to report?" Yellow Diamond asked looking straight into the hologram screen.
"Yes, my Diamond," Jasper responded slowly nodding her head. "Peridot seems to have been right. We have found a group of rebels still alive on the planet."
"Yes, sure, great. But what about the mission?" Yellow Diamond responded.
"The mission…" Jasper paused. "Did you hear me? There are rebels active on this planet."
"Yeah, sure, good for you. But what is the status of the Cluster?" Yellow Diamond said not sounding like she cared in the least.
"But my Diamond, Rose Quartz has officially been filed as alive," Jasper said.
"Sure. Sure. Whatever. The Cluster? What has the informant said?" Yellow Diamond asked.
"Apparently, the Lazuli has withheld information from us," Jasper said.
"What?!" Yellow Diamond exclaimed.
"She apparently knew about Rose Quartz still being alive and taking on a weaker form," Jasper explained.
"Oh, whatever!" Yellow Diamond yelled. "Just check on the Cluster's progress. And as for the Lazuli…"
"Yes?" Jasper asked.
"Shatter her," Yellow Diamond said.
"P-p-pardon?" Jasper stuttered.
"She has withheld information so shatter her," Yellow Diamond said.
"My Diamond, don't you think that's a bit of a strong offense?" Jasper asked.
"Not at all," Yellow Diamond said.
"With all do respect. I was not trained to shatter poor, defenseless gems," Jasper said.
"But you were trained to follow orders," Yellow Diamond said raising her voice. "Now go shatter the Lazuli!"
"Yes, my Diamond," Jasper said hanging her head in shame. With that said, the hologram vanished.
Jasper walked out of her room and down the hall. She ran right into Peridot.
"Oh, Jasper. Good timing," Peridot said pulling out Lapis Lazuli's gem. "It was quite a struggle, but I was finally able to poof the Lazuli. Now you can shatter her, no problem." Peridot put the gem in Jasper's hand, turned around, and left.
"Okay. Okay then," Jasper said raising her fist above the gem. She hesitated. "Just got to smash the gem." She still hesitated. Every time she started to fire her fist at the gem, she would stop only a couple inches from the gem.
"Come on, Jasper," Jasper said to herself. "This should be simple. Just smash the gem and move on."
More time passed by, and Jasper still hadn't shattered Lazuli. "Who am I kidding?" Jasper asked herself.
Jasper sighed and tightened her grip on the gem. She walked down a few halls and carefully placed Lapis Lazuli's gem in a cell.
Jasper turned around and started to leave. She suddenly stopped in her tracks and turned her head to look back at the gem sitting in the cell. "You're lucky that I'm sparing you," Jasper said. "Not all gems will be so generous." Jasper turned her head and continued down the hall.
Those events kept playing over and over again in my head. Jasper had gone against Yellow Diamond's wishes and spared me. And how did I repay her? I trapped her at the bottom of the ocean in a fusion.
I was sitting on top of the silo again. I usually go there whenever I need to think. I slowly breathed in the sweet, crisp air of the country.
"Lazuli! Hey! Lazuli!" I suddenly heard a voice call out. I didn't have to look down to know who it was.
I sprouted my water wings and flew down to the ground. "Yes, Peri?" I asked once I landed.
"Wow! Are you okay?" Peridot asked. "You look like a mess right now."
"What do you mean?" I innocently asked. I knew she wasn't gonna buy it.
"Your hair's going crazy. Your dress is all tattered. And you have bags under your eyes," Peridot said. "Come with me." Peridot grabbed my hand and made me follow her into the barn.
Peridot sat me down in a heap of hey. She sat right behind me and placed her hands on my shoulders. "Now, Lazuli," Peridot said. "I want you to relax. Close your eyes and take deep breaths." I did as I was told.
"Just relax," Peridot said. "You're under too much stress. You have to lighten up."
Peridot summoned a hair brush from her gem and started to brush through my tangly mess of locks. It didn't hurt. Peridot was able to do it to where she could get the knots out but not pull any of my hair out.
When Peridot was done brushing my hair, she placed her hands back on my shoulders and lightly squeezed.
"Feel better?" Peridot asked. I felt relaxed and refreshed, but I still had a horrible feeling of guilt going on about me.
"Yes. I feel much better. Thank you, Peridot," I said and went over to a corner of the barn and laid down. It wasn't a total lie. I did feel a little bit better. I just couldn't shake the feeling of guilt I had in my gut.
Night soon came, and Peridot eventually laid down and fell asleep. She had grown accustomed to the human ritual of sleeping.
I saw this as my chance to do what I had to do. I searched endlessly in all the junk that was lying around the barn until I found what I was looking for: a piece of paper and a pen.
I wrote out a note for Peridot to let her know I was leaving. I placed it somewhere where I was sure she would see it: on top of the paint cans.
I took one last look at Peridot before I took off. Aside from Steven, Peridot was the only one I considered a true friend.
I gazed up at the night sky. I spread out my water wings and with a heavy heart, I left.