Chapter 2 – Squad 13 Passes Tests

I watched the freshly graduated class invisibly as they came in. Now that I had learned their names, it was easy to spot the ones that had graduated early and I suspect had been put there by whoever was writing this for the sole purpose of trolling me. I hadn't been lying to Hiashi when I told him that only a quarter of the Rookie 9's class had passed the exam, but I hadn't mentioned that 17 others had either attempted the exam early as special cases or tried again after failing the year before. Six had been allowed to take the test early on the basis of extraordinary talent, and eleven were on at least their second try like Naruto had been.

Sakura and Ino crashed in, just like they had in canon. After they picked themselves up, Sakura ran over to where Naruto was sitting next to Sasuke and a few words later she tried to shove Naruto out of the way, only for Naruto to switch with her at the last second using Substitution, causing her hand to land on Sasuke's head and slam his face into the table by mistake. The crash of Sasuke's face on the table silenced the whole classroom for a second. Sakura was horrified, Sasuke was furious, everyone else was stunned except for me and Naruto. I almost exploded trying to contain my laughter, and Naruto would have if he'd been trying.

Sakura tried to stammer out an apology as Sasuke picked up his head and glared at her. "I am quite aware that you have a crush on me Sakura," Sasuke said icily, "But knocking me out and dragging me to the bedroom is no more the right way to get my attention than your usual brand of absurd behavior. If you try it again, we'll step outside, and I will crush you like I would any other opponent. Now give Naruto his seat back, sit down, and now I have a headache, so for once in your life, be. Quiet."

Everyone stared and Sakura looked like her entire world was crashing around her ears as she stepped back and let Naruto climb back to his seat. Naruto tried to explain to Sasuke what had happened but Sasuke cut him off, "I'm fully aware of your substitution just then Naruto. I'd call you an idiot if it wasn't such a good trick. Now as I told Sakura, please for once in your life, be quiet." Naruto faced the front of the classroom and was silent, along with everyone else. When Iruka walked in a moment later, he looked around warily as he noticed the unusual quiet.

The other Jonin Instructors came in behind him and he started calling off names. When he got to Squad Thirteen, I dropped my jutsu and appeared in Iruka's usual chair, "Naruto, let's go. The rest of the team's waiting for us outside." Those few who were left stared at me in shock as they wondered how I had been hiding there without some sort of camouflage. Naruto just grinned and bounced up.

Out we went and as we went, I noticed Kakashi relaxing in the teacher's lounge across the hall. I smirked, so that's where he was. We stepped outside the Academy and I quickly spotted Yumiko sitting in the branches of the tree with the swing. She saw us too and hopped down, she had her bow and arrows with her as well as her tanto, "So this is Naruto?"

Hatsumei fluttered down in bat form and transformed back to his human form, "He's smaller than I expected." Naruto stared at him, then he looked up at me, "Sensei, these two are way older than me." "Nah," I replied, "It's only four years. I know that's a long time for you, but it's not so much. Besides, they're older and better at what they do. That means they will be able to help you get better too. Normally there would be a test now to make sure you three were ready to be genin, but Hatsumei and Yumiko passed tests already, and you Naruto passed my test just by showing up yesterday."

Naruto thought about that then realization dawned on him, "So when you said that you were giving a test on the way to the academy you were talking about that speech you gave?" I nodded, "And half your class failed. The ones that showed up passed because they showed a willingness to do whatever they had to as shinobi. So, now we're going to train. I need to see where you three are in your skill development."

==Twenty Minutes Later==

We found a suitable training field not far outside the village and I hopped up on a rock and turned to face them as I sat down, "Right. So, I want you three to show me any and all jutsu you know beyond the Academy standard three. Yumiko, you're up first." Hatsumei backed up and pulled Naruto with him. Yumiko settled into her Gentle Fist stance, "Revolving Heaven!" The massive blue chakra shield erupted around her and spun with her at incredible speeds.

When she stopped she flashed through some hand signs, "Lightning Style, Raijin Slash!" She slammed her hands together as though in prayer and when she dragged them apart lightning was jumping between them. She slammed them together with her arms straight out in front of her and her fingers curled like claws. The lightning shot away in an arc and cut right through a tree.

She flashed through another set of hand signs and fire started crackling around her hands and feet, "Fire Fist!" She snapped out a punch and launched a bolt of fire at the tree she had knocked down. She extinguished the flames crackling around her fingers and held her hands up in front of her, they started glowing blue and she declared, "Chakra scalpel." She suddenly extended her hands away from her and amped up the chakra. The glow around her hands extended out from her hands to a length of almost a meter, "Chakra katana," she declared, "Both the chakra scalpel and katana are compatible with my fire and lightning natures. I have one more affinity, but nobody's ever been able to show me how to use it because it's a kekkai genkai that nobody else has."

I nodded and saw Hatsumei cover his and Naruto's eyes. Yumiko closed her eyes and suddenly started glowing. I realized what she had just in time to scrunch my eyes shut. There was a flash that was bright even through my eyelids and when I opened my eyes, there was a scorched area around Yumiko. I looked at her in surprise, "So you have Light Release. That's a very rare ability indeed."

Yumiko looked at me, "You've seen it before?" I shook my head, "Never in person. I'm not sure it's ever been seen in Hidden Leaf. I don't know any jutsu that use it, so even though I probably won't I'll do my best to find some, and we'll improvise until I do."

Calling it rare was an understatement I thought, in most of the fanfictions I had written, Light Release, my theoretical dual nature kekkai genkai that mixed Fire and Lightning chakra, was what I gave the second and third Tsuchikages in place of the kekkai tota Dust Release because I thought that was a name better suited to what Gaara did. I thought for a moment and realized that whoever was writing this, they'd apparently either had the same thought I did or read my work, because that was the case here too.

I elaborated once I realized that, "In fact, the only known living case of it is the Tsuchikage. It's his trump card that he uses to take out entire battalions when he takes the field." My new students stared at me. Then Hatsumei and Yumiko looked at each other and grinned. I smiled too as I realized what they were thinking, "And since you two are together, that means that in a few generations Hidden Leaf will have a clan of Light Release users with the Byakugan and Koumori kekkai genkai. For the sake of the village, I hereby forbid you two to die before you are happily married and have as many children as possible."

Yumiko and Hatsumei blushed and then Yumiko smiled, "You got it boss." I smiled, "Do you have any more jutsu?" Yumiko shook her head, "Those are all the ones I've been able to teach myself, but I'm very skilled with all of them." I nodded, "Alright, Hatsumei?" Hatsumei nodded and stepped forward, "Koumori!"

His form changed midstep, his arms lengthened and became wings, his ears grew and became pointed and his head morphed into that of a massive bat. He shook his head slightly as he adjusted to the massive spike in his senses and then flapped his wings, launching himself into the sky. He flew around for a moment in a very impressive display of aerial acrobatics before swooping towards the ground with his mouth open. A bolt of sound that was more shockwave than sound wave plowed up the ground before and beneath him.

He suddenly started spinning and took on a form similar to a drill, "Tunneling Fang!" He whirled through several trees and then flew up and ignited as he did it again, "Tunneling Blaze Fang!" He whirled through the air like a comet before releasing the jutsu and flying back to the ground. He landed with his hands aimed at me in a familiar hand sign, "Mind-Body Switch!" I suddenly had the very odd sensation of being unable to control my body as a presence settled over my mind. Hatsumei quickly released the jutsu before he could collapse and then he flashed through another set of handsigns, "Expansion Jutsu!" His arm expanded to the size of a grown bull and then he frowned in concentration, forcing it to shrink back to normal size, turning red and glowing with chakra, "Hyper Compaction!" he grunted.

Then he knelt and slammed the fist into the ground, burying his fist almost to the elbow. He released the compaction and his hand expanded with explosive force, leaving a deep hole lined with massively compacted dirt where his hand had gone in. He sprang back and managed to not fall in. He was clearly getting tired, "I've got one more big one, but I know several of the Nara Clan's more basic jutsu as well. I made this up after I got Asuma Sarutobi to show me his Welcoming Approach: Thousand Armed Murder." I raised an eyebrow, so he's created that jutsu already…

Hatsumei folded his hands into the Snake sign, "Foreshadowed Approach! Thousand Armed Murder!" A storm of massive shadow fists suddenly erupted out of his shadow and blitzed the tree Yumiko had knocked down and set ablaze. Hatsumei's jutsu pounded it to splinters in a little over a minute. When Hatsumei released the jutsu he was pale and sweating, "That's all the big jutsu I've got. Like I said, I know more, and Yumiko taught me Gentle Fist, but I wouldn't have been able to show you those if I showed you that and all the little ones first."

Yumiko caught him before he could fall over and I smiled, "Alright, Naruto?" Naruto was looking like he suddenly felt very small and insignificant, "Um, do I have to?" I nodded, "Yes, yes you do. You just graduated, there's nothing to be ashamed of. Nobody expects you to have an arsenal of jutsu comparable to a pair of prodigies who've had four years of good instruction more than you to learn. Your abilities are just as good as theirs and I don't think it'll take you long at all to catch up. Now show em what you've got."

Naruto nodded nervously, "Transform!" He turned into his female form and Hatsumei and Yumiko frowned at him before looking at me questioningly. I smiled, "Yumiko, look with the Byakugan."

Yumiko blinked and then did as instructed. There was a sharp intake of breath as she realized what she was seeing, "He actually turned into a girl…" I nodded as Hatsumei looked from her to Naruto to me and back in rapid succession, "He did what now?" I smiled as Naruto turned back into a boy, "Naruto has mastered physical transformation rather than the disguise technique taught at the Academy, meaning he has the potential to learn the Koumori and many other jutsu which would be impossible for anyone else to learn as well. If he grows advanced enough with this ability, he may even be able to eventually replicate kekkai genkai. Case in point, Naruto, I want you to transform, but this time imagine yourself growing bigger the way you imagine your female form before you transform."

Naruto nodded and folded his hand into the sign for transformation. Chakra blazed around him and he started growing. I had to look up at him as he finished a moment later, fifteen feet high. Hatsumei and Yumiko stared as Naruto opened his eyes and stared right back, "WHOA…" I grinned, "Super Expansion Jutsu, from scratch, no previous training required. And as you can see, he's got an absurdly large amount of chakra to throw around. For raw talent, I haven't seen the like of him since the Fourth Hokage. He'd have been top of his class if I had found him sooner."

I grinned, "So, now that we've established who can do what, let's go watch one of the other teams take their test!"

==Fifteen Minutes Later==

It didn't take long to find another team to watch. The team we found was Squad 8, Kiba, Shino and Sakura. Kurenai currently had them in a genjutsu fighting each other while she sat back sipping tea calmly. I motioned for my team to stay put and walked over to her, making sure she could see me coming so I didn't disrupt her concentration. "Having fun?"

Kurenai shrugged, "Shino's already broken my genjutsu, he's just trying to snap the others out of it now. Standard test of trust, awareness and improvisation ability. I'm sure you know how it works." I nodded, the real task was for the students to realize they were in a genjutsu so they could break it and proceed to fight the instructor. With a master like Kurenai behind the genjutsu, they would have to have absolute trust in their comrades to cover them and tell them the truth while they checked, but they would also have to realize that Kurenai was in fact using a genjutsu.

"I'm told you were the one who recommended Sakura to my team?" Kurenai asked with a raised eyebrow. I nodded, "Her chakra control is superb, I figured that genjutsu would be a good direction to send her in. If you can do something about her attitude you might have a real gem on your hands." Kurenai nodded as she watched her potential students go at it. Shino was effortlessly holding his own against Kiba, Akamaru and Sakura at the same time. "Those Aburame are really something else," I mused. Kurenai nodded, "As much as I shudder to think about it, his strength and the 360 degree awareness from his kikaichu may mean he'd be best suited to taijutsu training with Gai."

I nodded, "If you do that, you can get Kiba tutoring from Asuma or Kakashi, and train Sakura to your level in genjutsu, then you'll have an extremely balanced team." Kurenai's mouth quirked up in a little smile, "That I will. Thanks." I smiled, "No need for that, it's our job to do what's best for the village. That means sending these kids wherever they'll have the most potential and helping each other out." Kurenai smiled and then changed the subject, "So, how did your team do? They were all requests, I can't imagine you would have failed them."

I shook my head with a smile, "They're all prodigies, and I can see a very good team dynamic just waiting to form." Kurenai raised an eyebrow at me, "Even Naruto? I thought he was a documented class clown with dismal marks in all subjects?" I nodded, "They were dismal, but he's a very blunt kid. Tell him to feel and mold his chakra into an image of himself and he has no clue what you're talking about or how to do it. Tell him to do a dance and imagine copies of himself dancing alongside him and he does the clone jutsu perfectly without the slightest effort. Sometimes all it takes to bring out a student's potential is the right teacher."

Kurenai blinked at me and sipped her tea, staring at her potential team as she tried to cover her shock, "Makes me wonder if he's the first student like that." I shrugged, "Hard to know. If I live long enough to take another team I'll be on the lookout for oddballs like him." Kurenai nodded, "Perhaps I should be too." I smiled as Sakura finally asked Kiba to hold Shino off for her to check for genjutsu, "Perhaps. I'll let you get back to your testing. See you tonight."

I Body Flickered away as Sakura suddenly whirled to look wide-eyed at where Kurenai was sitting. The last thing I saw as I turned to leave was Kurenai waving at her smugly. "Come on," I chuckled to my students as I walked off, "Time to go check in on another team."

The next team we found was Squad 10, Ino, Shikamaru and Choji. Asuma was smacking them around like piñatas with nothing but taijutsu. He smiled warmly at us as we walked up before nonchalantly springing away from Shikamaru's shadow, "Hello Jiraiya-sama, having a nice day?" He caught Choji's flying pile-driver with one hand and threw him like it was the easiest thing in the world, "We're just having a little test of spirit. Care to join us?"

He drove a straight fingered jab under Ino's guard and sent her crumpling to the ground as I answered, "Thanks, but I know already that these three have got spirit in spades." Asuma smiled as he skipped away from Shikamaru's shadow in a zigzag, "Oh? Perhaps they'd like to show these three how it's done? Hatsumei and Yumiko are older, maybe they'd put up a little bit more of a fight?"

I looked at my team, "It depends on whether or not they want to and whether or not your team would accept the help." Asuma smiled at his bruised and battered team, "What do you guys think? Would you guys like to take a break and let the older kids help?" I raised my eyebrows and caught my teams' eyes giving a subtle shake of my head and planting a firm hand on Naruto's head to get his attention. This was clearly a trap Asuma was laying for his students.

Ino and Choji were about to say something when Shikamaru cut them off, "What kind of question is that? As troublesome as it is, we need to be able to win our own fights. That's a pretty obvious trap there Sensei." Ino and Choji blinked and then paled slightly as they realized they had been on the verge of failing. Asuma grinned, "Good answer." He took a drag on his cigarette and added lazily, "Good enough to pass I suppose." Ino Shikamaru and Choji blinked in surprise and then smiles spread across their faces. "Really?!" Choji asked excitedly.

Asuma nodded, "Really. Now sit down and take a breather, if Jiraiya-sama's team still wants to spar, I'd be happy to see how they do." My team looked at me. I looked at them. They clearly wanted to try, so I sighed, "Alright fine, just don't make too much of a mess and don't get yourselves too injured, we've still got training later."

They all grinned and stepped forward as Asuma motioned for Squad 10 to step back. Hatsumei popped a soldier pill and Naruto charged in recklessly, making his new favorite hand sign as he ran. He jumped when he was almost to Asuma and suddenly grew to the size he had been earlier. Asuma had just an instant to be surprised before WHOOOMPF! Naruto slammed down on top of where Asuma had been in one of the world's biggest belly flops. I grinned as Choji dropped his chips in shock. Asuma stood next to Naruto's massive form staring in shock, then Yumiko was next to him with her chakra scalpels blazing.

Asuma held her off for a moment. He had recognized the chakra scalpels and was doing his damnedest to avoid them. Then he saw her elongate one and sprang back to get as far out of Yumiko's range as possible. He sprang back and was immediately jumping again to dodge the blazing comet that was Hatsumei's Tunneling Blaze Fang. As the fire passed out from between them he realized Naruto was back on his feet, still huge and swinging a massive kick at him.

Asuma bounced onto the top of Naruto's foot, up to his knee and landed on his chest in the breadth of an instant before blowing a plume of hot ash in Naruto's face. Naruto staggered back yelping in surprise and pain as Asuma jumped back to the ground only to find Yumiko's chakra katanas blazing at him. He quickly whipped out his trench knives and streamed chakra down them so that he could take on Yumiko's chakra blades. It looked like a fairly even fight for a moment, but Asuma was clearly more experienced and then Yumiko sprang back grinning from ear to ear.

Asuma watched her warily and then he felt a sense of danger and managed to spring away as the first of the hailstorm of shadow fists rained down. "YOU ACTUALLY MADE THAT JUTSU?!" Asuma yelled in shock as he recognized it. Shikamaru's shock was not lost on me as Hatsumei grinned behind a thin sheen of sweat, "Always wanted to try it against the real deal!" Asuma grinned, "Well then who am I to deny you?"

He assumed his stance, "Welcoming Approach! Thousand Armed Murder!" A glowing figure appeared behind him and suddenly blazing energy fists were clashing with Hatsumei's shadows. Asuma was so caught up in the clash that he didn't see Naruto toss Yumiko behind him. Yumiko pounced on him from behind and disabled his arms in an instant before springing away laughing. Asuma had an instant to be horrified before the last of Hatsumei's jutsu crashed into him.

Asuma's team stared in shock as Naruto high fived Hatsumei and Yumiko at the same time with his giant hand. Asuma sat up a little, bruises already forming. He looked at me, "Are you sure these three are genin?" I shook my head, "Hatsumei and Yumiko are probably at the level of advanced Chunin actually. Someone really should have taken them as genin students sooner, they'd be Chunin by now. Maybe Jonin if they had a good teacher. Naruto is still a genin though." Asuma flopped back onto his back, "Oh good, that makes me feel better."

He flapped an arm at his team, "Team, be like those three. They're good." I laughed, "Ok, Naruto shrink back and all of you come on." Naruto shrank back and off we went.

It took us a while to find another team, and we only found one member of that team when we did. That member was Sasuke, and he was pissed. I smiled as he stalked past without noticing us, "Hello Sasuke. You look rather more grim than usual." Sasuke paused and looked at me blankly for a moment, then he remembered what I had told the class the day before and who I was. He bowed, "Jiraiya-sama, please teach me."

I looked over him to where Kakashi was shaking his head no. I gestured for Sasuke to follow, "Sasuke, you come with me. Team, Kakashi there is going to entertain you for a little while. Don't worry, this won't take long." Sasuke's head whipped around and Kakashi waved as Sasuke saw him before asking, "Jiraiya-sama, how exactly am I supposed to entertain them?"

I shrugged, "You could try talking, or have a little one on three spar with them if you'd like. They beat Asuma earlier, I'm sure they'll be an entertaining matchup for you. Just don't break my students, they have to train later." Kakashi was eyeing my team with considerable interest, "We might just do that. I trust you remember regulations of course Jiraiya-sama?"

I nodded at his subtle reminder that a failed candidate wasn't eligible for a second chance at a team for at least a year even if they were orange flagged. I could tell from Kakashi's look, there would be no orange flag for Sasuke, "I remember perfectly Kakashi. Don't worry, we're just going to talk." Kakashi nodded, "Alright then."

I led Sasuke away to a clearing and sat down, gesturing for him to sit as well. He sat. "Sasuke, why do you want to be a shinobi? What are your goals in life?" Sasuke's expression darkened, "I have to kill my brother and revive my clan!" I nodded, "Alright, and which of those two do you think is more important for the village?" That struck a chord with Sasuke and he was silent for a moment, "I suppose rebuilding the Uchiha Clan matters more to the village than my revenge…" he said quietly. I nodded, "Yes. Yes it does. Now, tell me why Kakashi failed you just now."

Sasuke's head snapped up and I met his angry eyes with a cool gaze. Sasuke couldn't hold that gaze long, "Because I couldn't get one of those damn bells." I shook my head, "Wrong. That test is a tradition in the Hidden Leaf, the object is not to get the bells, it is to test your teamwork." Sasuke visibly flinched and paled slightly. "Let me guess," I continued, "You thought Ran and Phil were weak and would only slow you down, so you didn't even bother to consult with them about a possible plan to beat Kakashi?" Sasuke flinched again before nodding slightly.

I nodded, "See? You failed because you're not a team player, and on a team that could potentially wind up facing people on my level before they're ready one day, that's deadly for the whole team. You would get yourself and your whole team killed thinking like that." Sasuke fidgeted slightly and I rolled on, "Now here's another thought for you. Let's say you do catch up to Itachi and fight him. If he kills you, then who of the Uchiha is left to rebuild your clan?" Sasuke flinched like I had punched him and was quiet for a moment, "There wouldn't be anybody left," he said quietly, "The Uchiha clan would die with me and Itachi."

"Or even worse," I replied, "Itachi might be assembling himself a harem and rebuilding the Uchiha Clan himself even as we speak. The honorable Uchiha Clan would die with you, Itachi might have dozens of children to start his own version of your clan. With you gone there would be nobody to check in on the Uchiha district regularly, an S-Rank shinobi like Itachi might be able to bring an entire team of his missing-nin buddies and extract every jutsu and secret there before anyone ever realized someone was moving around in an abandoned district. He'd have everything he needed to rebuild the Uchiha Clan in his own image wherever he wanted."

All the color immediately went out of Sasuke's face in horror. I nodded, "See? Your priorities are mixed up. You need to be reviving your clan before killing your brother so that even if he kills you, you'll still have a chance to achieve at least one of your goals." Sasuke was clearly floored by the revelation.

I grinned and pulled a copy of Icha Icha out of a seal in my pocket and handed it to him, "I recommend reading this and taking a closer look at letting some of those fangirls give you some of that affection they clearly have for you. I believe Sakura and Ino were on the verge of passing their tests when I checked in on their teams, so the odds of them having time to be brood mothers for Uchiha babies are slim. Hinata on the other hand isn't even in the running to be a genin this year, and you can't really expect Itachi's kids to have something better than a Byaku-Sharingan can you?"

I could almost hear the gears whirling in Sasuke's head as he numbly accepted the book. I grinned and rose, "Those are just my thoughts of course, do what you will with them." I walked past him towards where I could hear my team's massive battle with Kakashi, then I paused. "By the way," I said over my shoulder. Sasuke looked at me and I radiated a fair bit of killing intent, "If you go rogue hunting the power to find and kill your brother, rest assured, I'll be personally coming after you to make sure you don't make it as far as Itachi."

Sasuke stared at me in terror and then I released the killing intent, waving at him with a smile, "Now go get to work on rebuilding your clan! Be sure to write down all the juicy details, like who's a possible future Uchiha's momma. We have to keep lists of these things you know! Have fun and don't let life make ya such a sourball. You're rich, popular with the ladies and you've got all the excuse in the world to be Konoha's next super-pervert. There's plenty to smile about if you look for it!" I laughed and strolled away, leaving Sasuke to carefully reevaluate his life choices.

A few moments later I found Kakashi giving my team fits. He had already knocked Naruto out of the fight, despite Naruto's giant form. Judging by the look of things, my guess was that he had used an earth jutsu to make a pitfall trap. When Naruto fell in, he hadn't been able to get back out. He was currently dodging and bouncing away from Yumiko's deadly hands and Hatsumei was using his Tunneling Blaze Fang to keep him from getting any good long range jutsu lined up. It actually looked quite even although I did notice that Kakashi didn't have his Sharingan out. I walked over to Naruto and after I got him to shrink back to normal size, I used Jiraiya's/my Lion's Mane jutsu to extract him from the hole Kakashi had left him in. I grinned as a thought occurred to me and I whispered it in Naruto's ear.

Naruto looked at me in surprise and then he grinned and pulled a kunai. He whistled and threw the kunai as everyone paused for the briefest instant to look at him. He substituted with the kunai and Kakashi suddenly found himself face to face with Naruto's Sexy Jutsu in all its nude and shapely glory. Kakashi's visible eye widened as his guard faltered and then Yumiko substituted with Naruto and her hands flashed out, sealing the chakra points in Kakashi's left shoulder and cutting off the chakra flow to his arm. Kakashi sprang away and then Hatsumei plowed into him.

Hatsumei crashed into a tree with him, still whirling with his Tunneling Blaze Fang, and just as Kakashi was managing to shove him off course with his functioning arm, Yumiko substituted with Hatsumei and wrapped her hands around said good arm, immediately disabling it with Gentle Fist. Kakashi kicked her away and ran, his limp arms flying out behind him like streamers. Then Naruto's giant shadow loomed over him. Kakashi sprang back and then Yumiko caught up to him. Yumiko's hand flashed out and down Kakashi went.

We all waited for it to turn out to be some kind of trick and then Kakashi groaned, "Well, you're tougher than I remember Yumiko, and Batty and Mr. Citrus are quite exceptional too. Congratulations to all three of you. If you had been taking my test, you would have all passed. That was excellent teamwork. Even if I wasn't using my Sharingan, beating me like this is no small feat. I'm very much looking forward to seeing where your shinobi careers take you. Now can you please release my chakra points?" he finished plaintively.

"Mr. Citrus?" My team asked in unison. I chuckled, "Naruto is wearing lots of orange. Oranges are a citrus fruit. Mr. Citrus, Mr. Orange, Kakashi's just playing with words." The lightbulb went on over their heads as they understood what Kakashi meant. I smiled, "You can let him up now Yumiko." Yumiko quickly unsealed his chakra points and Kakashi pulled himself back up as the life went back into his limbs. He dusted himself off, "Well, I'm going to go fill out my reports on those three I had. Good luck to all of you, and I'll see you at the meeting tonight Jiraiya-sama."

He Body-Flickered away and I grinned, "Now then, training time!"

==That Evening==

I found myself back in the line-up of instructors in Sensei's office. As Kakashi came in, Sensei started the meeting, "Ok, first up, Hayate. Pass or fail, if fail why?" "Fail," Hayate replied before coughing, "They may be extremely powerful *hacking cough* but they are also still very much children. They need more time. Yellow Flag." Sensei nodded, a Yellow Flag meant that they had attempted the test early and failed, "Inoichi?"

Inoichi shook his head, "Fail, they're far too busy fighting with each other to ever be good shinobi. Red Flag." I could tell there were a few winces, a Red Flag meant that they had failed so dismally that there was no hope for them as shinobi. Sensei nodded grimly and marked them off. Then he looked up, "Erza?"

"Yellow Flag Fail," Erza replied, "They all have tremendous potential, but Lucy lacks confidence and Natsu and Gray have too much animosity towards each other from their rivalry. I could whip them into shape now if they were needed now, but I think they deserve more time to be children." Sensei nodded, "Very well." He marked them off, "Mugiwara?"

Luffy paused munching, "Yellow Flag Fail. Sanji and Zoro would be a great combo if they weren't so busy fighting each other, and Nami's definitely good with her bojutsu, but right now they're not ready, so I say give em another year or two. I'll take em once they grow up a little." Sensei nodded, "Alright, Kakashi?" I don't know where Kakashi got the little red flag but he waved it, "All three. Dismal." There were many groans from the Jonin who had protested him getting Sasuke and Sensei clarified, "Even the Uchiha?"

"Especially the Uchiha," Kakashi replied, "Most arrogant little prick I've ever met. He's totally absorbed in his hatred for his brother and refuses to accept or give any help to anyone weaker than he is. He has talent, but his character is highly unsuited to shinobi work, and there's not the slightest doubt in my mind that if word of Itachi's whereabouts ever surfaced Sasuke would go haring off after whatever wild goose chase rumor he heard, leaving his team and the village in the lurch. Not to mention he's got an ego the size of Hokage Mountain that would probably drive him into a fit of jealousy if one of his teammates ever surpassed him. No, it's best if we put a stop to his shinobi career now before he can get somebody killed. Send someone to keep an eye on him so that he can't run off when he finds out he's been Red Flagged and put him to work reviving his clan. Once we've got a few more Uchiha's, it won't be the death of the entire Uchiha Clan if he dies doing something stupid."

Sensei nodded, "Very well, Sasuke Uchiha, Red Flag, Flight Risk." There was a general air of discontent in the room as he turned to Kurenai, "Kurenai?" Kurenai smiled, "All pass. Shino broke out of my genjutsu in an instant, and Sakura didn't take long to break out as well and wake Kiba up. They display very good teamwork and I think they will grow to be a very balanced team." The air of discontent lifted as the first actual pass of the evening was announced. Sensei nodded, "Squad 8 confirmed, Shino Aburame, Sakura Haruno and Kiba Inuzuka under leadership of Kurenai Yuhi."

Then he turned to Asuma, "Asuma?" Asuma shrugged with a grin, "Eh, they pass. They need work, but they pass." That created something of an excited buzz, the next Ino-Shika-Cho trio had arrived. Sensei nodded with a smile, "Squad 10 confirmed, Choji Akimichi, Shikamaru Nara and Ino Yamanaka under leadership of Asuma Sarutobi."

Then he turned to me, "Jiraiya?" I grinned, "All three pass my test, and Kakashi's test, and Asuma's test." That got a shocked round of muttering and Sensei raised an eyebrow, "Come again?" I shrugged, "Well after they passed my test, we went to watch the other teams. We found Squad 10 just as they were passing, and Asuma asked if my team would like a try. I knew they'd pass, so I let them have at it, and they didn't disappoint. Then we went looking for another team to watch and after a while we found Kakashi who had just failed his team. I told him to entertain my team while I gave Sasuke a talking to. I think I got the kid's priorities in order, and when I went to check on Kakashi he was giving my team fits. They pulled through though."

Kakashi nodded, "Best teamwork I've seen in a long time. I knew they would be fine, Yumiko passed my test last time. She was only orange flagged because the rest of her team failed so dismally." "Plus according to Jiraiya-sama Hatsumei and Yumiko are high Chunin, or even low Jonin in skill level," Asuma added, "After fighting them myself, I'd have to agree. Those two are way beyond any genin, and that Naruto kid's gonna be something else. He almost squashed me with a Super Expansion Jutsu."

That created another wave of muttering and Asuma looked over his shoulder, "What? Isn't he an Akimichi?" I chuckled, "Nope although you'd never believe it if you saw him eat ramen. Naruto has taught himself physical transformation. As far as I can tell he can change his body however he wants. I told him to transform himself bigger and he did the Super Expansion Jutsu on the first try. He also pulled off several other jutsu today effortlessly. He can learn 'em as fast as I can tell him what to do. It's a good thing we didn't put him with Sasuke, he would've eclipsed the brat in no time."

There was a stunned silence. After a moment I looked over my shoulder, "What? You thought I would come out of retirement to teach just anybody? The kid's got potential like I haven't seen in years. Hatsumei and Yumiko too." The entire room was silent and I shrugged, "Well fine, don't say anything. Kermit-san, how'd your team do?"

"Mmm…not too good Jiraiya-sama, not too good," Kermit replied in what else? a perfect Muppet voice, "They're just too silly. I'm red flagging them all and recommended they take up careers as entertainers. They were doing silly things before I even used any genjutsu!" I nodded, "A good call then. Sensei?" Sensei blinked, "Right, Squad 13 confirmed, Hatsumei Fukusei, Yumiko Hyuga and Naruto Uzumaki under leadership of Jiraiya. Squad 14, fail, red flag."

Sensei brought the meeting to a close and I was immediately pounced by a pack of Clan Heads demanding to know just exactly what I intended to teach Naruto. I sighed at them, "Wow you people are really paranoid." They felt a moment of calm and then I grinned at them, "I'm teaching him everything I can. His physical transformation is the best trick I've seen since Minato and the Flying Raijin, and if I can get him to a point where he can replicate kekkai genkai with it, you better bet your butts I will. He doesn't have a clan, maybe you should see about getting someone to convince him to marry into one of yours?" Hiashi who had been listening from the back was suddenly wide-eyed. He clapped his hands to his head, "I've gotta go find Hinata!" He was gone in a flash, all the Hyuga in the room hot on his heels.

The other Jonin watched them go and then Inoichi started edging away, "I…just remembered I've got to help my wife water the flowers." Then he took off running and the other Clan Heads and clan shinobi quickly took off too. In a matter of seconds only me, Sensei, Kakashi, Gai, Erza, Luffy, Asuma and Kermit were left. Kakashi looked at me, "So, what all exactly did you teach him?"

I scratched my head trying to remember all of them, "Well, he learned Chakra Scalpel from Yumiko along with her enhanced version the Chakra Katana, and Hatsumei showed him Koumori. Then I taught all three of them the Body Flicker, then I taught Naruto, ah, lemme see," I started counting on my fingers, "Wind Release Gale Palm, he hasn't learned how to aim it yet to make it Great Breakthrough, Fire Release Dragon Flame and Yumiko's Fire Fist, Earth Release Headhunter Jutsu and Swamp of the Underworld, ah…crap, there was another one…Oh yeah the Rasengan. I couldn't believe how fast he learned that when I told him what he needed to do. I tell him make the ground muddy with his mind and he makes a ten foot mud wallow. I tell him make it sticky, boom he turns it into a little Swamp of the Underworld. I tell him to imagine his breath getting hotter and hotter until it's fire and he breathes fire. I tell him spin and make the air whirl around him and he does the Gale Palm."

Everyone was staring now. "He learned three elemental releases and the Rasengan in one. Day?" Kakashi asked. I nodded, "Mmhmm. Surprised me too. A little bit. Turns out I can just tell him what the jutsu is supposed to do, walk him through the hand signs and he does it. He's not very efficient with his chakra, and as a result he's not producing nearly effect he should be with his reserves. His swamp's a glorified mud puddle, his dragon flame's a salamander and his gale is a breeze, but that's what practice is for. He might not be the sharpest tool in the shed intelligence wise, and I don't know that he'll ever be subtle. His taijutsu's a mess and I haven't tested his weapons skills or any genjutsu with him yet, but as far as learning ninjutsu, screw the Sharingan, this kid doesn't need it."

I scratched my head, "I think I'm going to work on getting him to where he can do the jutsu he learned today like a pro over the next week or two. Not gonna take any good missions until we get him to where he can keep up. Once he can keep up, I think we'll probably start with a C, go to a B, see how they do on a nice comfy B, if they're still breezing through it, then we might try an A if we can."

Then I grinned, "Who knows? Maybe we'll take a C-rank and it'll turn into an A-Rank." I shrugged with a smile, "Crazy things happen around kids like him!" Erza stepped forward with a smile, "I think I would like to meet this Naruto. Do you think you could introduce me? I want to see this surprise prodigy for myself." I smiled, who could turn down Erza? "Alright, but I would like to introduce you to another genin sometime who I think you might take an interest in. Gai, you're still teaching Tenten right?" Gai opened his mouth, realized what I wanted, and then face palmed for not thinking of it sooner, "I'm a fool!"

Erza looked at him curiously, "Who's Tenten?" "A young kunoichi who is very interested in and skilled with weapons," I replied, "I figure nothing but good things can come from introducing her to the Armored Wizard of Konoha." Erza smiled, "That does sound like a good idea. Gai-san, if Tenten would like to meet with me some time, I would be delighted to make her acquaintance." Gai bowed, "Thank you Erza-san, I will relay the invitation to her at once. We meet every day at Training Ground 9 in the morning for training." Erza smiled, "I'll be sure to drop by. Now then, take me to meet this Naruto."

I nodded with a smile, "Yes ma'am, right this way."

A few minutes later we were bouncing across the rooftops and Erza suddenly stopped me. I started to ask what she wanted and found a copy of Icha Icha in front of me, "Before we go to meet Naruto, can you sign my book? I'm a huge fan." I smiled, "Of course! Anything for my fans." I managed to sign Jiraiya's name correctly and handed Erza her book back. "I don't get why everyone says you're a pervert," Erza said with a smile, "These are extremely romantic stories."

"Partially because I peep at the baths," I replied with a smile, "I can't help it, women like you are too beautiful to not peep at least a little. I would never press my advantage in a romantic situation though, there's a difference between lustful thoughts and acting on them. I can't help what my mind churns out, but I've never given so much as a kiss that wasn't consensual. While granted I've got the libido of a rabbit in spring, the pervert thing is mostly Tsunade and Orochimaru's work. Tsunade wanted to get back at me because breaking half the bones in my body apparently wasn't enough payback for the one time I ever peeped on her, and Orochimaru helped spread the rumors just to annoy me."

Erza was blushing as red as her hair and I wondered if I might have strayed into TMI territory then, "You think I'm beautiful?" I laughed, "Erza if anyone ever tells you you're not beautiful, cut their tongue out for being a liar! You're only a hair behind Tsunade in looks, and that's only because she's the love of my life," I paused and sobered slightly at that, "Not that she's ever reciprocated those feelings in the slightest." Erza suddenly hugged me, "Then she's a fool for not seeing what a big sweetheart you are." My body reacted as any man's would to having Erza Scarlet pressed to it and she stepped back slightly in surprise as it poked the front of her armor (she was considerably shorter than me/Jiraiya).

Erza smiled and blushed again, "Did I do that?" I smiled slightly embarrassed, "Yeah, don't worry about it, it does that." Erza caught my hand and started leading me away, "Nonsense. I caused the problem, I'll take care of it. Come on, I want to see if the mind behind my favorite books is as good as his writing, and I hear toads have very long tongues." I grinned, "Well now hold on a second," Erza paused curiously and I made a hand sign. Naruto's physical transformation hadn't actually been that hard to learn when I figured out what he was doing, not that I'd ever tell anyone else that.

A poof of smoke later I was thirty years younger. I wouldn't be able to maintain it for long due to the massive chakra output it required, but I smiled, "A woman as beautiful as you deserves a younger man than I usually am." Erza squeaked with delight and what followed was one of the best half hours of Jiraiya's life and mine put together. I silently sent whoever was writing this the biggest THANK YOU! of my life.

When Erza got home the next day, she found a bundle of roses, a small cake, signed copies of the entire Icha Icha series and a note thanking her for a great night. I passed by her apartment around midnight that evening to check on her and saw her through the window sitting on her bed reading excitedly by lamplight. I smiled and bounced away.

AN: So, first thing's first: Yumiko and Hatsumei. Yes, they are in fact approximately low Jonin level. They've had nothing to do for four years but train, and both are incredibly talented.

Hatsumei and his whole clan make a point of knowing all jutsu they can, whether those jutsu are supposed to be clan secrets or not, and they have two kekkai genkai, one is the Koumori, their bat transformation ability. The other doesn't have a name, but any kekkai genkai they and their partner have is guaranteed to be inherited by their offspring. This means that despite the usual rarity of Light Release, if Yumiko has children with Hatsumei, then all of their future descendants will have Light Release, as well as the Byakugan and Koumori. This is part of the reason the Fukusei aren't more disliked than they are already, having them on hand ensures that the village will never lose any kekkai genkai they might gain as long as there's a Fukusei willing to be a parent. This is also why the Byakugan and Sharingan are so prevalent, the Fukusei married members in back up the line, so now everyone descended from those Fukusei is guaranteed to get those kekkai genkai. The Koumori is a rather new addition to the Main Family of the Fukusei, which is why the Hyuga and Uchiha don't have it. So even though the clans may hate their guts for taking their jutsu whether they agree to it or not, they can't deny that the Fukusei are an incredibly valuable asset. This will all be explained again in later chapters because it has come to my attention that some people don't read my author notes, so when the explanation rolls around again, please just bear with me.

Yumiko is not a med-nin, but she has learned the chakra scalpel to augment her taijutsu. Yumiko is a Branch House Hyuga, but like Neji, she's a genius. There'll be more background on how she met Hatsumei and why she taught him Gentle Fist later.

Yes, Naruto is able to pick up ninjutsu with unbelievable speeds when given proper instruction. I know this is not how is in canon even with shadow clones, and I don't care. This is my story, it's an AU, I'm writing it how I please.

Yes Shino has 360 degree awareness from his bugs. This is a trait common to all Aburame in this story. They also have tremendous strength, not quite proportional to an ant, but still enough that they're the last people you want to take a punch from short of Might Gai or Tsunade.

Yes, Sasuke is out of the shinobi forces and he won't be coming back in. Sorry Sasuke fans, it makes no sense to me to even let him be an active duty shinobi when his blood line is that important and he's the only one left to continue it. Therefore, he's out and he's not coming back in. Don't worry too much, we'll probably still see him around from time to time.

Yes Erza will be a recurring side character, as will Luffy and Kermit. The other characters they tested who failed with yellow flags may show up again eventually as well. Erza is an S-Rank shinobi and retains much similarity to how she is in Fairy Tail. The only difference is that she now uses sealing jutsu to do her Requips. Luffy is a taijutsu specialist augmenting his fighting with his rubber body which is now an advanced transformation jutsu like Konan's or the Akimichi's expansion jutsus. Kermit is a genjutsu specialist on par with Kurenai specializing in musical genjutsus.

Yes Jiraiya and Erza did have sex and may do it again. Someone actually commented on the last chapter that they missed Jiraiya being a pervert, well fret not, Jiraiya will still have his mysteriously high amount of game, and this is far from the only entertaining adult encounter he'll have. If I get 10 comments asking for it, I can go back and go into more detail on this encounter and do so for all future encounters.

I do hope you have enjoyed this chapter and I'll have the next one here as soon as I can. Also, if you have a moment, you might consider going back to chapter 1 and reading the Update to Chapter 1's author note explaining why I decided to make Naruto's ability to physically transform however he pleases something unique to Naruto.