Well thanks for reviewing, with like...3 reviews, yeah, 3...lovely. I guess I updated for you all anyway. Well this story is gonna be having a title change. Cuzit is turning into more of Jak complaining about Haven City than just traffic shit! So yeah, I've decided if I get enough reviews for each chapter. Then I'll post another chapter, fair enough? Yes? Good.

Enjoy this next chapter. Dark Jak makes an appearance..or a thought...whatever you want to refer to it as!

JakLover

Chapter 2: News and Media

Hey everyone, Jak here, and I hope you good, loyal Haven Citizens understand that in the long run the MetalHead extremists are going to win. Because you can't beat numbers, and you can't beat fanaticism - the willingness to die for an idea.

A City like ours, preoccupied with Stadium Races, dune-buggies, guns, jacuzzis, microwave ovens, pornography, lap dances, massage parlors, escort services, tasers, alcohal, thongs and Oder Eaters doesn't have a prayer - not even a good, old fashioned, Mar's prayer - against a billion fanatics who hate this City, detest it's materialism and have nothing really to lose. Maybe 200 years ago, but not today when germs and chemicals and nuclear materials are for sale everywhere.

People who don't give a shit and have nothing to lose will always prevail over people who are fighting for some vague sentiment scrawled on a wall in a forgotten tomb. Folks, they're gonna getcha; and it ain't gonna be pleasant.

We can't drop a five-thousand-pound bomb on every one of them. They will either run all over all over us, in trying, they will turn us into even bigger monsters than we already are!

And don't get all excited about this goofy idea,"the spread of democracy." No matter who Haven City puts in charge to bring peace and order in Haven or Spargus or anywhere else, those people will be killed. It's that simple. Anyone who supports this City will be killed. Peace and order will not be tolerated. Start saving your cash for the black market, folks, you're gonna need it.

I've already got $2.41 in my pocket.

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UNCALLED-FOR EDITORIAL COMMENTS:

Who's Responsible For This?

When reporting a bombing by some radical group, the news media in Haven City will often inform us that,"No one has claimed responsiblity." Why is this wording used instead of, "No one has taken credit." To save the feelings of the dead people's relatives? The people who did the bombing surely see it as credit. Let them have their moment in the sun. Look at all the trouble they went to.

Unfortunately, They All Got Out Alive.

Here's another gratuitous editorial appendage often heared on my TV-News coverage of a fire or an accident: "Luckily, no one was hurt."

I consider those to be editorial comments. After all, I may not think it's such good news that no one was hurt. I'm entitled to decide for myself whether or not injuries to strangers are good or bad news. I may prefer hearing,"It's a shame no one was hurt." It's entirely possible. Please save the commentary for the editoral page.

Put On A Happy Face.

And I could also do without these grim, mock-serious facial expressions and sad voices the television-news people affect when reporting these so-called tragedies. Ashelin Praxis is one of the worst offenders. She lowers her voice dramatically and puts on this really sad face and tells you all about the baby who died in a washing machine. If you weren't listening carefully, you'd think the goddamn "tradegy" happened to her. Is that good? I don't think so. Just let me have the news, please; I'll get Torn to handle the sad faces.

Thoughts On "Thoughts"

Another empty sentiment concerning the death of people; you hear it on the news, and you hear it in real life: "Our thoughts are with the family." What exactly does that mean? Sympathies I can understand; prayers, as ineffective as they are, I can understand? Like,"Gee, he's dead"? How does that help? When first reporting on Baron Praxis's parkinson's disease, one newslady announced that,"Everyone's thoughts are with our beloved Baron." Well, I'm by no means happy that he's sick, and he happeneds to be one of the few people I genuinely don't like. But to be perfectly honest with you, for most of the day my thoughts were definitely not with Baron. I wish him well, and I admire the way he copes (shows Praxis dazed and highly confused roaming the halls of the palace. Errol following him at a fair distance with a frying pan.). But at any given moment, my thoughts are probably on pussy.

Now as you have now had a glimpse into my mind, yet again. My darker side would like to add something he's been wanting to say for awhile. Well, here he is:

GOODNIGHT, TIMMY

Well hello, I'm sure some of my fans out there know me very well. My own worshipers as well. Here's a good way to provide some entertainment for your four-year-old when you tuck him in at night, and at the same time, stimulate his imagination. And he will forever love you 'till the end.

"I came up to say goodnight and tuck you in, Timmy. You had a big day, so make sure you get a good night's sleep. And don't forget to watch out for the Boogie Man. Remember what Daddy and I told you about the Boogie Man? How he kills little boys? What do you think, Timmy? Is the Boogie Man here in your room, hiding somewhere? Is he in the closet? Is he going to jump out and kill you when I leave the room? He might; you never know. Maybe he's under the bed. He likes to hide there, too. He might claw his way though the mattress and kill you. Don't let him kill you, Timmy. You know what he does? He sticks a sharp metal tube up your nose and sucks the fluid out of your brain. It hurts a lot.

"I'm going to turn out the light now and leave you alone in the dark. All by yourself. And I don't want to hear a peep out of you. If I hear any noise coming out of this room, I'm going to come up here and beat you. Try to get a good night's sleep. By the way, Daddy saw a monster walking up and down the hall last night. The monster had a piece a paper in his hand with your name on it. Night-Night Timmy, Night-Night."

Life could only be so sweet.

Well? Was it as funny or close to as funny as the last chapter? Well, I'd like some more of those 3 to 5 sentence reviews, those are always a treat to read. 'gives me the inspiration which I need to keep going! ai'll update and edit the last chapter cuz I forgot to space between the italics because I forgot to add them when I was typing it. So yuppers.

READ & REVIEW!

JakLover

P.S. Ignore these four words.