"A Visit to Middle Earth"

By Loki Palmer

Author's Note: Harry Potter and all related characters belong to J.K. Rowling. The Lord of the Rings and all related characters and languages belong to J.R.R. Tolkien. My source for any Sindarin used is the Internet site Fellowship of the Word Smiths.

Chapter 2

As the Fellowship was leaving, Arwen grabbed Arphen in a hug and gave him a chaste kiss on the forehead.

"Aen geilu nín le tiro, Arphen." (May my blessing guard you, Arphen.)

Hîrbar would have cracked up at Arphen's light blush, but Arwen turned to him and kissed him on the forehead as well. "Tiro chanar lín." (Watch your brother.)

"Oy, Merry, look at their cheeks!" said Pippin.

"Yeah, Pip, they're redder than my tomatoes!"

Arphen and Hîrbar caught up to the group by speeding after the teasing twosome.

Gandalf chuckled. "I was wondering how long you two would stay there."

"Sorry about that, adar," said Arphen. Even over the short time so far they had spent in Middle Earth, they had come to see Gandalf as a father.

"Are you sorry that she kissed you, laddies?" said Gimli.

"Or are you sorry you remained there stunned?" said Legolas.

Arphen and Hîrbar rolled their eyes. "We get enough teasing from Merry and Pippin. Do we have to receive ribbing from the both of you as well?"

"Some merriment is more than welcome on the journey, is that not right, Gandalf?" said Aragorn.

"As long as it does not become so excessive that we forget the mission, I have no objections," he said, smiling. "By the way, Arphen, why are you sorry?"

"It would have to be the latter, adar. How could I help females finding me attractive?"

"Attractive?" said Gimli. "I wonder how any female can find you attractive, with that furry animal you have sleeping on your face. Oh, wait, that's not a furry animal – that's your beard!"

Everyone else cracked up laughing as Hîrbar licked his finger to mark a point on an imaginary scoreboard.

Arphen was ready with a comeback. "Oh, and this comes from someone so short, he needs to stand on a barrel just to kiss a female?"

More laughter ensued as Hîrbar marked another point. "Good comeback, laddie."

~A VISIT TO MIDDLE EARTH~

When the Fellowship had stopped to camp for the night, Frodo said, "Arphen, do you know of any heroic tales from your world?"

"Now that you ask me, Frodo, I do. Hmmm … which one shall I tell you? There's the Odyssey by Homer … the tale of Beowulf … both of these are epics, so I don't think I will tell you the whole stories of each ..."

"Even so, Arphen," said Samwise, "we do love to hear a good story. What's the Odyssey about?"

"It's the Greek tale of Odysseus, and his ten year journey back to his homeland of Ithaca after the Trojan War."

"That one sounds interesting … what about Beowulf?"

"Beowulf is an Old English tale about a powerful hero who kills monsters for a living."

"Old English, you say?" said Aragorn.

"The language of English has evolved much since its origins in Anglo-Saxon, Aragorn. Here is a sample from the first three lines of Beowulf:

"Hwæt wē Gār-Dena in geār-dagum
þēod-cyninga þrym gefrūnon,
hū ða æþelingas ellen fremedon."

"That sounds a lot like Rohirric, only with a foreign accent."

"Rohirric?"

"It's the language of Rohan," said Gandalf. "the home of the Horse-Lords. Our original plan is to go through the Gap of Rohan,"

"My hope is that we can avoid the gaze of the White Wizard," said Hîrbar.

Gandalf nodded. "Indeed, Hîrbar. Neither one of you would have the skill to face him. Shall we hear from the tale of Beowulf, Arphen?"

"Do you want to hear a summary first, adar?"

"Yes, please. Among the Company, I believe Aragorn, Boromir and I could understand … most of this Old English tongue."

"I think we can understand most of it as well," said Frodo.

"Ah, thank you for your input, Frodo. I stand corrected. Let us hear a summary first, Arphen, and then the original."

"Well, the excerpt I shall tell you features a monster by the name of Grendel. He was a man-eating giant descended from the infamous Cain, the first murderer. He had troubled King Hrothgar for many, many years. Beowulf, the hero, had heard of the trouble and came over to kill him. One night, Grendel came in for his usual feast, eating one man and then he seized Beowulf. Beowulf, for his part, had him in a strong grip and would not let him go. Their wrestling match shook the entire hall, and it finished with Beowulf ripping his arm off at the shoulder. He slunk away to his hole and died."

"Wow, that is a powerful tale," said Aragorn. "What does the original excerpt sound like?"

Arphen thought back to the times when his father would read him this text within the halls of Olympus. He cleared his throat, and, as he conjured images to illustrate the poetic text, said:

"Ða cōm of mōre under mist-hleoþum
Grendel gongan, Godes yrre bær,
mynte se mān-scaða manna cynnes
sumne besyrwan in sele þam hēan…"

So went the recital of the poetical excerpt, up until these lines:

"Ðǣr wæs on blōde brim weallende,
atol ȳða geswing, eal gemenged,
hāton heolfre, heoro-drēore wēol;
dēað-fǣge dēog, siððan drēama lēas
in fen-freoðo feorh ālegde,
hǣþene sāwle; þǣr him hel onfēng."

"This Beowulf was a powerful person, wasn't he?" said Gimli.

"There are two other creatures he fought within the text: Grendel's mother, and, in his old age, a dragon – though the dragon gave him a fatal wound. Are there any dragons in Middle-Earth now, adar?"

"It will please you to know that dragons are extinct at the present time," said Gandalf. "The last one was Smaug."

"That is a relief. It would be terrible if the Enemy had dragons in his service."

~A VISIT TO MIDDLE EARTH~

Camping somewhere the next afternoon, Boromir was training Merry and Pippin to fight, while Arphen was training Frodo and Samwise. After they knocked down a laughing Boromir, Merry and Pippin turned on Arphen.

"FOR THE SHIRE!" they said, tackling him from behind.

Aragorn chuckled as he watched. "You were outnumbered, Arphen."

"Oh, yes, Aragorn … say, that's an odd cloud ..."

"Hen ú-faun ..." (That is not a cloud) …

"Legolas is right," said Gandalf. "Hide!"

As the odd cloud approached, Arphen could see it for what it was – a murder of crows.

"Crebain from Fangorn and Dunland," Gandalf said by way of confirmation. "Saruman's spies are watching the Gap of Rohan."

"So much for the original plan to come through unnoticed," said Hîrbar.

"No plan survives contact with the enemy, young Hîrbar, which is why you should have a Plan B."

"So … what's Plan B?"

"If I may make a suggestion, Gandalf," said Gimli, "why don't we go through the Mines of Moria? My cousin Balin would give us a royal welcome."

"The same Balin of the quest for Erebor?" said Arphen.

"Aye, the very same."

Gandalf frowned in discomfort. "My apologies, Gimli, but the Mines of Moria was not Plan B. Perhaps it may be Plan C."

The least Arphen could guess was that something in Moria disquieted Gandalf. He dared not ask – no one did – for meddling in the affairs of wizards was a surefire way to awaken their wrath.

"So … if the Mines of Moria is Plan C – no offense to the hospitality of Dwarves, Gimli –"

"None taken, Arphen."

"Plan B would be what, adar?"

Gandalf pointed with his staff. "Do you see that snowy mountain nearby?" Everyone nodded. "That is the mountain of Caradhras … our Plan B."

"Well, this should be Master Arphen's home turf," said Gimli.

"Gimli, I did not grow up on a mountain! I grew up in England – big difference!"

"The school of Hogwarts is out in the Highlands of another land called Scotland, aye?" (So far, during the journey, there were a fair number of conversations about the home world of Arphen and Hîrbar.)

The two young wizards nodded.

"So, tell me, young laddies, why should this be any different?"

They realized they had argued themselves into a corner. "D'OH!"

~A VISIT TO MIDDLE EARTH~

Much to Arphen's surprise, he did not have to worry about the cold of the mountain, so helping the rest of the Fellowship with Warming Charms – with some help from Hîrbar and Gandalf – was no problem.

At one point in the journey, Frodo fell into Hîrbar's arms, but the chain around his neck fell off into the snow.

Boromir picked it up. "Such a small treasure to worry over ..."

"Boromir is not My Master … you could be, Arphen … save your friends … save your Beloved … all you have to do is to take Me for your own ..."

Arphen glared at him, struggling to keep his cool while ignoring the voice of the Ring. "Boromir … hand it back to Frodo … or there will be trouble ..."

"Fair enough," said Boromir, handing it back. "Why should I care?"

The biggest problem to face on Mount Caradhras was soon to reveal itself.

"There is a fell voice in the air," said Legolas.

Everyone listened, and heard a voice saying, "Cuiva nwalca Carnirassë! Nal yarvaxëa rasselya taltuva ñotto-carinnar!"

Snow fell onto them from higher on the mountain.

"IT'S SARUMAN!" said Gandalf. "Losto Caradhras, sedho, hodo, nuitho i 'ruith!"

The two wizard voices battled on, as Arphen and Hîrbar watched in awe, thinking, "This is out of our league."

In spite of Gandalf's attempts to soothe the mountain back to sleep, it was soon to become clear: there was no way they would make it through Caradhras alive.

"It would be time for Plan C, Master Gandalf," said Gimli. "Let us go through the Mines of Moria."

"The Ring-Bearer should decide," said Gandalf.

Everyone turned to Frodo. "Let us go through the Mines," he said.

~A VISIT TO MIDDLE EARTH~

They found the doors to Moria, and Gandalf lit up the letters thereon. "It's Elvish," said Arphen. "I cannot read it, though."

"Yes, Arphen, you are correct; as for why you cannot read it, it is in a mode you have not encountered before. Do not worry, though; confession of your ignorance is not a sin. Acting as though you knew something when you do not is a greater sin. In the Common Tongue, it reads: The Doors of Durin, Lord of Moria. Speak, friend, and enter."

"Speak what?" said Arphen. "The password?"

"Aye," said Gimli.

"Well, that's bloody helpful," said Hîrbar. "How can a person enter if he doesn't know the password?"

"Do you think, Master Hîrbar, that we would leave the password in plain sight?"

"No, Gimli; that would be as foolish as leaving your key on the front porch."

"Aye, that is the point."

Gandalf said, "Well, the least we can say is that the password is in Elvish, for the Dwarves keep their language to themselves, and besides, the writing is in Elvish." He tried a number of words in Quenya and Sindarin, but the door remained shut.

Hîrbar noted Merry and Pippin chucking rocks into the nearby lake. "Will you two knuckleheads stop it?"

"Sorry, Hîrbar."

Frodo's eyes lit up as he leaped to his feet. "It's a riddle. Speak, friend, and enter. What if the password is the Elvish word for friend?"

Arphen slapped his forehead in stupefied amusement. "Alas, the simplicity of Hobbits astounds me! Why didn't we think of that? Mellon!"

The doors opened. Gandalf said, "Arphen, ion nín, you can learn all you can about Hobbits in a short time, and even then they will find many ways to surprise you."

A hissing noise sounded. "What was that noise?"

The source of the hissing noise revealed itself – it looked like a monstrous octupus – and tried to make a grab for Frodo. Legolas shot arrows into it, Aragorn, Gimli, Boromir and Hîrbar chopped at it, and Arphen shot a light into its eyes to blind it. The defense succeded, but the monster pulled at the rocks nearby and caused a cave-in.

Gandalf lit a light on his staff. "Well, now that we cannot back out, we have to go through … deeper into the dark. Be on your guard, for there are fouler things than Orcs in the deep caverns of the world ..."

Author's Note: Another chapter done. Read and review!

Smiles and laughter,

Loki Palmer

P.S.,

I had a slight struggle deciding whether to include the full 142 line Beowulf excerpt or to put down an excerpt of the excerpt … and decided on the latter. Besides, who, except for a language nerd, even reads Old English? Also, for the record, the full excerpt is lines 710 to 852, at least in Seamus Heaney's bilingual translation – Old English on the left side, Modern English on the right.