Chapter 1
2 years later
Am sitting in my room all by myself watching the sunrise, it´s barely up but I can´t sleep. It´s been like this for weeks now, mother of course believes that am homesick, and that I just need to " get used to the changes" I know better I for a fact know that's not just it. Since we moved here things have been pretty hectic, let´s just say that our "welcoming" wasn´t nice witch of course is understandable. Who wants to live under the rule of a family, from the nation who have tormented the world for centuries? No one. Father's tactics I must admit are brutal sickening even, torture against the leaders of rebellion groups threats against their families a necessity in order to control them father would try to explain. I couldn't look at my father or talk to him for the first months. I truly hated myself for a long time.
"Your tea is read, my lady" Roya, my servant says in bored tone. Roya´s parents live in a village called Tsurui in the Akan district, she came here to live and basically start a life before we came and crushed the city, so to say that she hated me in the beginning is the biggest understatement ever made. She was a member of the rebellion group at that time, and since she was the only female and I needed a servant my father pardoned her.
"oh, thanks I didn't ask for tea" I say rather confused, but of course I won't let nice tea go to waste I take a long sip and look at her with a calm face, she looks back just as calmly
"if you wanted a little girls chat, you could've just come to me" I say taking a longer slip of my tea, enjoying the way it burns my throat all the way down to my stomach seeing her reaction I smile down in my cup. Roya is a very independent woman to say the least and she is not afraid to speak her mind. Not your average serving girl, and that's why I like her.
Before cracking a smile she says "oh, don't flatter yourself, lady Mai." "Your mother sent me" She says picking at her nails
"why?" I say through gritted teeth, seeing my reaction she smirks and continues
"since you've been so down lately your mama thought I should bring you some tea and.. what was it she called oh entertain you" smiling she says " I think she is just worried"
"why would she be worried" I say narrowing my eyes dangerously at her
She looks at me, the corners of her mouth turning slightly upwards "well, I mean you have been sulking in you room for a long time now" when a throw my pillow at her aiming for her head she just laughs and walks out with a " see you later, my lady"
I wake up slowly looking at out of my window; the sun isn't even up yet. How long have I been asleep? Rising from my bed I move towards my bathroom. I fill my bathtub with extremely hot water and basically burry myself under the water. After a nice wash-up, I put on a silk green rope and head down the stairs. As I expected everyone is a sleep, walking to the gardens I breathe in the night air just feeling the Breese blowing gently on my face. It is very peaceful night. No earth slaves being beaten and harassed or any fire nation soldiers leering at me. I sigh deeply and close my eyes enjoying the quiet atmosphere. Of course every little nice moment in my life must be ruined.
"lady Mai?" a deep voice says from behind me I turn away from the statute of fire lord Ozai in time to see commander Etsuji walking towards me.
"Commander, Etsuji" I say bowing my head, Etsuji is the son of one of the most powerful generals in the fire nation. He is currently serving under my father, since we grew up together mother offered him a place in the main house wonder why she did that I think bitterly, okay it might be polite since I grew up with him but knowing my mother and her ambitious plans of having me married of to someone rich, and powerful I quickly agree with myself on my first theory.
"it´s nice isn't it" he says gesturing to the statute, truth be told I haven't taken any time to really admire it, but from what I can see it looks kind of nice maybe a little bit too arrogant , but we are talking about fire lord Ozai here.
Instead of voicing my opinion out loud I just answer with a simple "yes"
we stay quit for a long time.
I glance up at him and notice something I haven't noticed before he is a quite handsome man and very tall.
Sensing my gaze he bends down so he is near my ear and whispers "walk whit me" I slowly nod and follow him around the garden we stop in front of a pond "do you miss home" he suddenly ask I shrug my shoulders "sometimes, do you?" now is his time to shrug "well, I guess sometimes"
"after cheng died, mother.. Changed" cheng was Etsuji older brother and heir to the Hasimoto family fortune. He was and extraordinary soldier and a quit nice guy I was saddened by his death. Trying to light up the mood I look back at with a playful smile "what about a girlfriend"
He only smiles at me shaking his head.
ignoring my question he says "come let me walk you back to your house" I nod and we walk in silence.
"what where you even thinking, Mai" my mother yells pacing the room angrily. When I got back last night it didn't go unnoticed and yeah mother was fuming she haven't done anything but scream at me the entire morning.
"Mai" father sighs rubbing his face with his hands and then looks up at me "we were really worried" i want to scream at them, tell them to mind their own damn business and leave me the hell alone they have no right absolutely NO right to treat me like some child. But instead I bow to my father then my mother "I apologise mother" "father, it won´t happen again"
after I get dismissed I go to my room. I stare at the wall in front of me for a while without thinking I throw a cup at the wall and watch it shatter.
I hate them.
I hate this place.
Mostly i hate myself.
Why couldn't I´ve been born to a nice normal family why am I stuck as a member in a family that I obviously don't belong in?
I lay down on my back, and watch the sealing for a while before my door creaks open
Before the person announces them self, I know it´s Roya nobody would just barge in like that
"hey you ok?" she asks plumping down on my bed I roll over to face her. I run a hand through my hair and sigh
"sometimes…" I start "sometimes I really consider running away" I say. she chuckles.
I groan and turn away from her "nice to see that this is amusing to you" I flash her a weak smile
"aren't you being a tiny bit over dramatic" she says tilting her head slightly too the side
"they treat me like am some kind of, retard." At this she throws her head back and laughs. after a while she looks at me. Composing herself she says
"well you did run around last night, with that commander guy" " so what" I snap at her
"so what did you do" she asks with a twinkle in her eye, I groan into my pillow and glare at her
"are you crazy?" I ask
"Come on, he is a good looking guy and from what I hear. And a gentleman"
"so did you get it on last night" she asks I can hear the laugh in her voice
"get out now right now" I all but scream at her. She flashes me another grin and walks to the door. Before she opens the door she stops, turns around and says "by the way"
"your mother is throwing a party for some noble family and you attendance is required"
I roll my eyes and nod.
After she left I slept and slept when I woke up the sun was almost going down
"shit"
I run to my closet and pull out a robe and a green and white kimono I lay it on my bed and run to my bathroom to take a quick shower. Adding some make up to my face I quickly dress and race out of the door. When I get the stairs I compose myself and walk slowly and gracefully
I bow to my parents, and sit to my father's left. As I expected this afternoon is boring as hell some snobby noble family promoting themselves the lady of the family gossiping with my mom about other noble women, and the men discussing political matters. I was about to take another sip of my wine, before I got a stern look from my father I sighed and put the cup down
"so" the woman starts, looking at me calculating.
Great I really hoped I would get ignored
"are you betrothed to anyone, lady Mai" she asks sipping at her drink, this woman seemed okay in the beginning, but now she is getting on my nerves, who the hell stars a conversation with a question like that?
"no, not yet" my mon chimes in. I restrain from rolling my eyes it was obvious that she was ashamed of the fact that I wasn't interested in any of her court friends sons
"but, why? Such a young beautiful lady as yourself shouldn't stay unmarried for too long"
Ignoring my desire to choke her I smile, and bow my head slightly "thank you miss"
she smiles and returns to her conversation with mother.
Not long after, the musicians mother had hired filled the dining room with music. Father offered mother his hand and she gladly accepted he led her to the center of the room and began dancing. Soon they were joined by the other couple.
I took the chance to finish my drink I got up, and walked to the window I stared for what felt like centuries, before a man with a long piece of paper came half running in.
"NOBLE MAN YUICHI NOBLE MAN YUICHI"
my father came to stand next to the strange man with a grim expression
"what is the meaning of this" my father says angrily
"th there is a letter from the fire lord, sir" he stammers. My father snatches the letter and reads it the his expression going from angry too utterly, shocked. My mom goes to stand next to my father her eyes going wide. Both of them look over at me.
Moms expression worried, dads unreadable.
curious I walk over.
"what is it" the other noble man asks
"read it out loud" the woman says "a letter from lord ozai how exiting" she shrieks clapping her hands together
My father moves his gaze from me and reads the letter outloud
generals, admirals' commanders and governors today a new fire lord has been crowned. His majesty fire lord zuko commands all fire nation troops and politicians outside land borders to return home immediately. foreign politics as one of his majesty´s key issues all governors will leave the villages and cities to the people and return back to the capital to discuss future actions.
Greetings palace secretary
He is back
my head is throbbing I carefully take the parchment from my father's hands, and read it. my eyes are starting to water I observe absentmindedly, my hands falls to my sides with the paper in my right one. I look away from my parents worried gazes
not again I can´t do this, I won´t let him put me through crap again.
Am I about to leave when the messenger suddenly pipes up
"uhm, there is a letter for the lady too" my father moves to take the letter, but before he is even near it i am out of the room with the paper.
am running as fast as I possibly can, by this time I don't even know where my shoes are no doubt mother will scowl me for that tomorrow. I slow down and sit by a tree unfolding the paper I take a deep breath, trying to control my unshed tear.
Mai
Mai how are you? it´s been a long time; I know we didn't part on the best terms, and I know that an apology won´t be enough. Am not so sure about many things regarding my life, but am certain that I want to be with you. When I left I tried to blame it on the war that there was no other way. I reasoned with myself, that if I broke things off between us. That you wouldn't be as affected as I were. All in all I hope we can talk about it when you return home. I miss you Mai a lot
Zuko
My tears are flooding freely now. I bring my knees to my chest and let it all out. If I see him I will kill him. How dare he referee to my breakdown as "affected?" More like ruined me, broke me down. Made me believe i did something. I rest my chin on my knees I know that he is ordering, me to come back. it´s not just an invitation it is an order.
I walk back to the house, on my way to my room I hear my mom whisper
"what does he want with her" she whispers "didn't he end things with her?" she asks
"I don't what he wants, but i won´t let him hurt her again" father says sternly a trace of the anger, from before evident in his voice. Mom sighs deeply
"he is the fire lord, there is nothing we can do" she says sadly "I hope.. I hope she will be alright"
me too I think to myself me too
what on earth do you want from me zuko?