Disclaimer: Here it is again – I do not own Prince of Tennis. How many times does one have to say that?

Yue: All right! My Hyotei bashing begins!
Oshitari: Bashing, huh? This shall be fun to watch.
Yue: Of course – but wait, aren't you in Hyotei?
Oshitari: But wait, aren't I the one who caused all this bashing?
Yue: …Oh, you're right!
Oshitari: My, my, how forgetful. So, I shall sit back with you and enjoy these bashings while sipping on a cup of hot chocolate – it's nearly Christmas, and it's getting cold.
Yue: Seems like I'm not the only sadistic freak around… Merry Christmas!

Misfortune 1 – Atobe Keigo

With Kabaji beside him as always, Atobe haunted the campus, sweeping by all possible places to alleviate his boredom. Within fifteen minutes, he has been around the baseball club, the kendo club, the sumo wrestling club, the gymnastics club, the badminton club, and the basketball club. Surprisingly, unlike always, there were no one – no fangirls – there to greet him. You see, Atobe-sama never passed by easily; there were always clogs of fangirls coming up to him yelling "Atobe-sama is my only prince" or "Atobe-sama is so cool", or "Atobe-sama, you make my insides jump around like a crazed beloved monkey"… But today, no, there were none – absolutely none. What insanity was this? Even though Atobe never thought high of fangirls, one knew how much he adored attention… and when nobody paid Atobe-sama any attention, well… Atobe-sama just didn't feel right.

Atobe scowled dubiously at the fangirls, apparently occupied with something more important than the object that made their insides wiggle like crazed monkeys. He wondered why they didn't care that he was around. His mind came across many possibilities, but none of them came close to the truth – the fact that he was wearing Oshitari's glasses.

And why was he wearing Oshitari's glasses? Because now that he's got hold of them, he wanted to experience these mysterious glasses himself. Oh, they were interesting glasses, all right. Atobe always wondered why Oshitari was so obsessed with these little lenses. He did not understand, and never will. Wearing these glasses did not at all differ from not wearing them, and yet these glasses were so precious to this strange poker-faced tensai. It added a mysterious touch to his face, and it was exactly that mystical feeling that makes his flock of fangirls scream. However, Atobe was not aware that these glasses had effects only on Oshitari. He was not aware that he looked completely nerdy in those glasses, and that all his charms had been lost upon wearing these little demons. These glasses were designed for Oshitari Yuushi, and for Oshitari Yuushi only.

Then again, Atobe knew none of that, and he had no mirror (not surprising). Therefore, he had no way of knowing that the girls thought of him as someone else as he walked by. He merely pondered on the strange matter, and finally managed to convince himself that it was a good thing – after all, he never liked fangirls.

But apparently, making others appear ugly was not the only thing Oshitari's glasses could do. As Atobe walked by a beautiful willow tree – the tree he had always adored, the tree that always blew so elegantly in the wind – the glasses got caught in one of the hanging branches.

"Huh?" Atobe twitched uncomfortably, trying to turn around to see what was going on – but he could not, for the branch was extremely entangled in the delicate frame of the glasses, and he could not even bring himself to turn his head around. "Kabaji?" He called for his faithful servant, but no answers were heard. For some strange reason, Kabaji seemed to have gotten separated from him in that unusually quiet walk – which really shouldn't have happened, as there really weren't many people swarming towards them as always. Atobe rolled his eyes and reached for the glasses, ready to take them off his face, but suddenly he realized that he couldn't; the surprisingly flexible willow branch had somehow swooped some of his own hair on the way of entangling the glasses, tying them firmly together. Unless Atobe wanted to yank a large part of his own hair off, there was no way he could get those glasses away from his face.

And there was no Kabaji there to help him.

Thus, Atobe Keigo was stuck under the willow tree, standing there like a forgotten statue. Nobody approached him, for nobody except for the strange Atobe Keigo liked that willow tree, and on top of that Atobe was wearing glasses and looking completely unnatural. The only one around whose strangeness matched Atobe's was this eerie guy who was wearing a mask in the summer for whatever reason. Finally, after decades of burning sensation in the skin under the hot sun, Kabaji found his master – after all, the only one who still recognized Atobe at the moment was probably Kabaji, because Kabaji was there when he put the glasses on.

"Ah, finally, Kabaji," for the first time in Atobe's life, Kabaji seemed to resemble the greatest saint there was. Immediately, Atobe yelled for his faithful servant, "Get these tree branches off my face now."

"Usu." Kabaji nodded as he grabbed onto the glasses and pulled hard. Atobe dug his fingernails into his palm to endure the pain, at the same time raging out, "YOU IDIOT! You think I haven't thought of that? I am not sacrificing my own hair to get these stupid glasses off!"

"Usu." Kabaji nodded again, and then left, without explaining why.

"Wait, Kabaji - " again, for the first time in Atobe's life, he wished that Kabaji would just talk human, explain, and not say "usu". He has finally realized the disadvantage of having a loyal slave who would do nothing except echo his own words.

It was always fascinating how history has the tendency to repeat itself. Atobe Keigo was to stand under the boiling sun with sore legs and a stiff body for another good fifteen minutes before his loyal servant Kabaji came back with a pair of garden scissors.

"If you chop off Ore-sama's precious and incredibly well done hair, which Ore-sama has just gelled this morning, Ore-sama will kick you out of the tennis team." Rather alarmed by those abnormally large scissors, Atobe threatened, while Kabaji just nodded, "Usu." Then, instead of chopping of Atobe's hair, which even Kabaji was not stupid enough to dare to do, he chopped off the troubling branch.

Atobe Keigo was too relieved to be away from that tree to realize that Kabaji has just added an extra touch of ridiculousness to his already ridiculous appearance. Now, as opposed to only glasses, he was wearing Oshitari's glasses with a willow branch hanging down from the upper part of his right ear. He was able to wander in public again, all right, and he achieved more than enough attention – everyone he encountered was glaring at him like he was crazy, without knowing that it was Atobe, of course. Atobe-sama would never let himself walk around wearing glasses with a branch hanging off of it. But Atobe being Atobe, he has again somehow convinced himself that this was a good thing – after all, strange attention was better than no attention.

Soon, Atobe and Kabaji arrived at a faucet on the other side of the campus across from the tennis courts. They found Mukahi Gakuto lingering leisurely around. "Hey, Mukahi," Atobe waved, but the redhead, in reaction, bounced up rather violently and ran straight towards the faucet, pressing the button and diverting the water straight towards Atobe's face, "WHO ARE YOU? HYOTEI GAKUEN ALLOWS NO RANDOM INTRUDERS!"

Despite Atobe running out of the way as quickly as he could, his whole upper body was dripping water. "Calm down, Mukahi. It is Ore-sama."

Mukahi turned his face to a different angle, mused for a while, before finally asking in a dubious, small voice, "Atobe?"

"Um, yeah?"

"Oh, so that's why Kabaji is there! Sorry, I didn't exactly see Kabaji." Mukahi smiled apologetically at the slightly angry Atobe, "But what's with the glasses – and worse, what's with that branch?"

Atobe scoffed, "These glasses aren't Ore-sama's. And what branch are you talking about?"

"Um, Atobe. There is a willow branch. A willow branch is hanging from your ear."

"… Oh. Did Kabaji not clean that off really nicely?"

"… I guess not?"

"… Oh."

Mukahi sighed hopelessly before jumping up violently once more, "Atobe, b-b-b-by any chance, are you wearing Yuushi's glasses?"

Atobe smirked, "Yep. Ore-sama found them beside the evil faucet that cost us our practice. They were just lying around. And Oshitari's been disappearing. Ore-sama assumes that holding his glasses hostage will urge him to appear."

Mukahi waved his arms, freaked, "But Yuushi's glasses are cursed! Didn't you know? You can't possibly wear, or even possess Yuushi's glasses without encountering misfortunes!"

Atobe dubiously raised his eyebrows, "No, I have not heard of that, and Ore-sama believes in no curses."

"You better believe in it, Atobe! Yuushi's glasses are cursed!" Mukahi put as much emphasis on that last word as possible, "I personally have experienced the curse! It is indescribably freaky! How do you think I got so short in the first place? When we were both Ichinens, I jacked Yuushi's glasses one day just as a prank, and as I wore it I realized that the glasses are practically useless, therefore I found it fun to wear. On that frackin' day, I accidentally shoved five wasabi rolls from the lunch down my throat at the same time; I yelled for water, but received hot chocolate – hot chocolate on top of wasabi! An hour later, I walked into the girls' change room and… well, yeah. When I walked home, I stepped onto an open sewage cover – I'm glad I didn't fall down, but my foot got stuck and I broke a bone. That's why I'm growing so slowly – the doctor said that I damaged my growth plate! Mind you, I had that pair of evil glasses on while I was in the hospital healing my leg, and the nurses couldn't stop accidentally dumping water and food on me. The frenzy stopped only when Yuushi came to see me, and, naturally, took his glasses back. From then on I have never had a day as bad as that, and I vowed to never wear Yuushi's glasses again. Atobe, you need to take it off now. Everything will go wrong for you – unless you dispose of the glasses or unless Yuushi gets his glasses back!"

Atobe raised his eyebrows higher, still unconvinced, "Ore-sama does not believe so. It was just a coincidence."

"I've been in that hospital for fifteen days, and food was dumped on my bed every single meal for fifteen days."

"How much did it cost to stay for fifteen days?"

"Three million yen (1)."

"That explains it – it was just a bad hospital. The hospital I stayed in for a fever last year cost five million yen (2) per day."

"You and your rich family." Mukahi sighed. He didn't expect Atobe to listen to him anyway. After all, Atobe-sama stuck to what he thought was fun and right. "Well, fine. Leave it on. I must wish you good luck."

"Thank you." As Atobe turned away from the distraught Mukahi, he rolled his eyes. What a paranoid guy, Mukahi Gakuto.

But he didn't expect himself to change his opinion so soon.

Atobe ran and ran, probably that horrified for the first time in his life, from a gang of angry girls, all holding pepper sprays. In the last ten minutes, he has bumped into a school pillar, been splashed by a car that was for some reason in the campus, had an apple pie thrown in his face, been accidentally kicked in the behind by Kabaji, tripped from a sidewalk crack, and worst of all, exactly as Mukahi described, somehow entered the girls' change room. Now normally you would expect Atobe to be received with an abnormal amount of passion – but he was wearing glasses with a willow branch hanging from his right ear, not to mention that over half of his body was wet with fountain water. Nobody was able to recognize Atobe-sama; therefore, you get an equation: Atobe-sama + glasses + willow branch + wet droopy hair equals extremely scared girls holding pepper sprays ready to fend off this unknown creature.

And it was very unfair too – because for these disastrous ten minutes, all Atobe was trying to do was to get to the boys' washroom, clean that branch off, and brush his hair. Yet now, that task has become an impossible mission, and Atobe felt so much like Tom Cruise – a…very abridged version of Tom Cruise, anyhow. But Atobe-sama ran fast, that's a fact. The girls could not catch up with him, but they followed, determined not to spare such an intruder to their wonderful private space. Finally, Atobe arrived at the then so heavenly washroom door, and this time he looked up to make sure it said "Boys' washroom" before entering. For once, something was right – it was indeed the Boys washroom that he entered. Without further hesitation, Atobe rushed towards the mirror, wondering just exactly how appalling he looked.

As he approached the mirror and saw his own reflection, the scene turned to look exactly like Edvard Munch's famous painting "Scream". Atobe-sama looked so ridiculous that even himself saw the reflection as a stranger. He could not help screaming so much at that awful appearance - so much that all the boys who were there exited the bathroom, thinking that a lunatic has invaded. Without a pause, Atobe started yanking at the troublesome glasses, determined to get them off even if he suffered a bald spot in his beautifully impeccable hair.

Maybe the glasses felt sorry for him, for Atobe got them off surprisingly easily. But then again, such ease greatly contrasted with the amount of strength Atobe used; his hand flew forward and brutally hit the wall. And also, because Atobe used so much strength, the right side of the swooping part of his hair has been pulled slightly shorter, making his usually perfect hair imbalanced; but that could be fixed with just a little trim, and just getting these plagued glasses off satisfied him greatly. He briefly attempted to fix his hair and went out again, where Kabaji was holding off all the angry fangirls, and ran frantically around the campus trying to find that cursed Oshitari Yuushi.

He didn't, of course, because Oshitari Yuushi appeared to not be at school today, but he did, however, find Akutagawa Jirou sleeping peacefully under the largest cherry blossom tree in the school.

"If Ore-sama suffered because of that troublesome Oshitari's stupid glasses," Atobe smirked evilly at Jirou, who had an angelic expression on his face, unaware of the disaster that was about to strike, and mumbled to himself, "Others shall experience these horrifying events of what Ore-sama has experienced… as well."

His grin widened as he tossed the glasses onto the sleeping blonde, still looking so naive and happy.

"Good luck, Akutagawa Jirou."

Atobe walked back to the bathroom, looking for his loyal slave Kabaji, apparently still fending off those violent girls, "Oi, Kabaji."

His fresh appearance has startled all the girls, and the pepper sprays were soon forgotten as all of them swarmed around him in one-millionth of a second, "EEEEE, it's Atobe-sama!" "Atobe-sama, how have you been? Why are you so wet?" "Atobe-sama, why is your hair uneven? Can I trim it for you?" "Atobe-sama, I love you so much…"

Atobe grinned and answered the questions so gratefully for the first time in his life as he thought,

One must never, ever, ever possess Oshitari Yuushi's glasses.

Next victim: Akutagawa Jirou

(1). About 30000 US dollars!
(2). About 50000 US dollars!

Yue: BWAHAHAHAHA…
Oshitari: That was a failed evil laugh.
Yue: What? Come on, I tried. Anyway – how'd you like it, everyone? Next victim, as you can see, is Akutagawa Jirou!
Oshitari: Jirou, huh? I shall be looking forward to that.
Yue: … Sure… My god you have no sympathy for your schoolmates. Anyway, review? It's a wonderful thing that makes my insides jump around like crazed beloved monkeys.
Atobe: …
Yue: Please review!