Thank you all for the reviews, follows and favorites! It seems you guys liked Taylor so that's a good thing because you're going to be seeing a lot of her over the next chapters. She'll get to meet Diggle and Oliver too, but before then we have a few years to (funnily) cover. This one is kind of huge, so I hope it's not too much to digest and that you'll find it funny enough. Have you noticed just how everything happened "freshman year of college" for Felicity? Anyway. I half wonder if they're not going to retcon Oliver and Felicity's relationship in the show, what with him working for A.R.G.U.S and Felicity studying computer science but I couldn't bring myself to do it there because I hate retcons. Anyway.
PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS
PART II.
"So I get you sitting outside my house like that lacrosse player in my freshman year of college"
— Felicity Smoak, episode 2.16
MARCH 2006
Felicity blew a soft breath on her noodle soup as she settled in front of her brand new, very expensive, wonderful computer. Computer that she had paid. By herself. With her own money (working for a bookstore sounded super exciting when you were a bookworm but that turned out being a bit of a let down for Felicity).
She had her dorm to herself for the first time since Christmas, and she couldn't be happier. Her roommate Emma had left for Spring Break to Florida, ready to show off her long toned legs earned with hours of running. Felicity would envy her if she didn't loathe running so much. The only kind of marathon she'd willingly go through didn't involve any form of exercise, only a DVD-player — which, Felicity had made the mistake of telling Emma the first week, leading up to a very awkward conversation.
Felicity jumped when her computer sung the Skype ringtone, and clicked on Taylor's face immediately. A glance at her nails informed her that it was definitely time for a chat — the red color was so chipped it was ridiculous.
"F Smoak!" Taylor shouted.
Felicity winced at the loud sound and held out her hand to switch her soup with her manicure kit on the shelf that loomed over her bed.
"Hey T! How's it going?"
"It's Spring Break! Why does it look like you're stuck in your room and not grinding against a hot guy on some sunny beach?" Taylor screeched, not even bothering with formalities.
Felicity gave her an annoyed face.
"You really thought I was going to change my mind?"
"I hoped against hope!" Taylor grumbled.
"Maybe next year," Felicity commented wryly.
Felicity had made the decision a while ago that she would not be going away for Spring Break. First, because she spent all her money on that wonderful, perfect thing that was currently humming on her thighs (and planned on using it to crush Cooper Seldon that smug bastard from her computer engineering class); second, because she absolutely refused to go get wasted on a beach when she had finals coming up (in the next two months) and an internship to fight for in a big company in Boston. Competition was hard. It was ruthless, exhilarating, stimulating, but it also demanded a lot of personal investment and an amount of time that Felicity was definitely happy to dedicate to learning how to code and hack into stuff. Which, of course, Taylor refused to understand.
The fact that Felicity was on a scholarship and needed to get good grades if she wanted to keep it that way was completely ignored by her best friend who managed to support Felicity and still find a way to whine at the way she'd decided she'd live that year. Felicity was completely fine with her long nights at the library, her endless afternoons in the computer rooms and the early mornings she spent working in her own dorm, to Taylor's complete and utter despair.
"Pft, next year's so faaaaar!" Taylor complained. "You promised you'd live the college experience for the both of us, Smoak!"
Felicity opened her mouth to protest, staring at the camera directly for more effect. From the very first day Felicity spent at M.I.T, Taylor had found a way to try to peer pressure her into attending parties and roamed the internet looking for people Felicity might find interesting (understand: potentially date) at her school. The truth was, at this point, Taylor knew more about the life on campus (never having set a foot there) than Felicity did.
"You know, I went to that party the other day," Felicity started, her tone shifting to full-on annoyance.
Taylor's eyes glimmered with something that Felicity refused to name. She couldn't seriously be living vicariously through her, could she?
"Really? You're not messing with me? You went?" Taylor let out so fast Felicity almost didn't hear the words.
"Yeah," Felicity groaned, while Taylor had already started pestering her with incessant "how'd it go? How'd it go?"
"I almost died choking on a pot-brownie, ended up in the hospital with an angioedema, and now the guy who saved my life by calling 911 thinks he earned the right to sit across my dorm in his car because, and I quote 'that totally deserves a date'."
Taylor opened her mouth in shock, eyes wide, processing the information, and blinked repeatedly.
"I don't even know where to start!" she sputtered eventually, looking sad at the idea. "You look like you're okay and didn't die. Please confirm that statement."
Felicity rolled her eyes.
"Yeah. Some pre-med chick had an ephedrine shot and went all Pulp Fiction on me. It was so humiliating."
Taylor arched an interested and impressed eyebrow.
"You ended up high from a pot-ephedrine cocktail, at a party, sprawled in your underwear, and found a way to get involved in some sort of girl-on-girl situation?"
Felicity sent her a murderous look.
"It better make that bucket list I know you have for me. That'll have to do because I'm not doing drugs ever again and there's no way I'm attending any more college parties."
"Oh, it totally counts, don't worry," Taylor waved off, ruffling stuff in front of her. "That's so cool, I wish I'd been there! Minus the you-almost-dying part, of course."
"Yeah, it was exactly my definition of a blast," Felicity commented sarcastically.
Barely a minute later, Taylor shook a notepad in front of the camera, then took off the cap of a pen with her teeth.
"You made number 9 'getting girl-on-girl action', 12 'being high at a party', 17 'ending up in your underwear at a party', and 34 'ending up in the hospital because of partying too much'. I'm so proud because you invented number 58: 'getting a stalker', which I can't believe I'd forgotten."
Felicity shook her head. She was surprised that "getting girl on girl action" was before "being high at a party" on a list Taylor had invented but then again, her best friend made it sound like she was bored to death back in Vegas, taking care of her one and a half year old while working part-time as a secretary for one of her father's friend and attending night-classes at a community college.
Last time they'd spoken, Taylor had spent an hour showing her the brand-new one bedroom apartment that she could finally afford and had moved into without telling her mother. Felicity had warned her that it was a terrible idea, which Taylor being Taylor had obviously laughed off and done anyway.
Two days later, Taylor had texted her that her mother wasn't talking to her anymore with a ton of smiley faces. Felicity had shaken her head.
"You can't have found fifty-eight barely-legal stuff you want me to do while I'm in college."
"No, like I said, I only found fifty-seven! But fifty-eight's even better! Now onto that stalker situation!"
"Scott's not a stalker!"
Taylor made a disbelieving face and tilted her head.
"What do you call a guy who sits in his car in front of your dorm? Prince Charming? Oh, does he drive a white Porsche? It'd be some sort of white horse then!"
Felicity closed her eyes and sighed. Dammit. Taylor was right: Scott was a total stalker. Which brought a whole new angle to the situation. Until now, Felicity was annoyed but sort of fine with the tall muscly brown-haired guy who sat in his car, grinning confidently at her like he was going to wear her down. She hadn't really given it a thought, figured that he'd stop at some point because he'd grow tired of Felicity's gentle but firm "no thanks" (the truth was, the guy had seen her face completely bloated because of the edema and still wanted to date her: she couldn't help but find that nice of him).
But now that Taylor had actually given a name to his behavior, Felicity felt prickles of unease run up her spine. What if he became angry and dangerous?
"How long has this been going for?" Taylor asked.
"I don't know, four days?"
Her mind was now reeling with possibilities, and trying to find an easy solution that wouldn't get her abducted, abused or, why the hell not, killed. Taylor's mind was obviously focused on something else.
"FOUR DAYS?! Is he cute?"
"What does it matter?" Felicity countered, her fingers pinching her nose.
"Well, if you're going to have a stalker, I'd kinda like it if he was super hot. At least, you could sleep with him before requesting a restraining order."
Felicity stared at her friend.
"Sleeping with him would completely defeat the purpose of making him understand that I'm not interested."
"Because he's not hot?" Taylor insisted.
"It doesn't matter if he's hot or not! He's so stupid, T, you have no idea. Like, I take it as an offense that he's attending the same college as me, that's how dumb he is. He spent the evening talking about lacrosse."
"Lacrosse? Really?" Taylor burst out laughing. "It exists for real? It's not made-up?"
"Oh I wish it didn't exist so he would just shut up about it already," Felicity grumbled. "He thinks he's all that too, it was cute at first but he's so full of himself it's just… Urgh."
"Okay, fine, he was dumb, you deserve better. I kinda wish you'd find someone to replace that Creepy-shaped hole in your heart though."
Felicity clenched her jaw, and looked away.
"You totally slept with McStalker!" Taylor yelled, pointing a finger at the computer.
"No, I didn't!" Felicity countered, offended.
"But something totally happened!"
Felicity rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to say something but Taylor's face changed and Felicity understood that she would not get away with a lie. Oh well. It was Taylor. She wouldn't judge. Right?
"I didn't know the brownie was spiked," Felicity confessed.
Her best friend gave her a dismissive side-eye.
"Yeah, so? It still counts!"
"Yeah but I… He blind-sided me," she eventually admitted.
"What?" her friend frowned, clearly not understanding.
"His hotness blind-sided me, okay?" Felicity growled. "It's ridiculous but he was so hot I couldn't think nor hear him at first and… and… I didn't care that I couldn't hear him! And then I was bored to death when he spoke but I couldn't stop looking at him, he was just so handsome! So… So I took the first thing to eat that I could to prevent myself from speaking and say something and I completely forgot to be careful about the nut thing and… Stop laughing!"
But she'd lost Taylor. The girl was sprawled before her computer, hiding most of herself to the point where Felicity could only see the top of her head shaking from a never-ending laughter.
"I'm cutting off the conversation," Felicity threatened, upset at being laughed at.
"Oh my God you're a true woman, Smoak! Finally! Your hormones took over!"
"Yeah, in a deadly way," she growled.
"Oh I'm so happy you were swooned and brain-washed by his hotness, I was worried for a moment you were one of these chicks who could live without sex and we had nothing in common anymore."
"Screw you, T."
"Oh, come on! I'm just messing with you! So the hot guy made your head spin isn't that a good thing?"
"It could've been if he wasn't the dumbest person alive, nor currently outside my building."
Now that she came to think of it, didn't he have some sort of training so he could win games? Didn't he want to get laid in Florida with the rest of his friends instead of doing nothing while Felicity kept on living? What the hell was wrong with that guy?
A lot apparently. The fact that he was into her should have been a hint.
"You're really into the creep factor, aren't you?" Taylor joked.
"You're not helping."
"No, like, what is it with you and shady people? First you dated Creepy for like ever, now you have McStalker... You were supposed to date a queen."
"I'd do it with a queen if that meant I was rid of that moron."
"Now you're just teasing me."
Felicity smiled, and shook her head, then thought about the situation again and couldn't help a massive whine of despair. She had other things to do! She couldn't deal with getting rid of a stalker when she had massive projects to lead, research to do for so many classes, and competitions to be involved in.
"What am I gonna do about him, T?"
"The way I see it, there are a lot of solutions. My favorite: outrun him, and go to Florida join the other freshmen. There has to be a lot of grinding."
Felicity rolled her eyes.
"What is it, number one on your list?"
"Eh, you wish," Taylor snorted. "Number one is having a one-night stand, you and I both know you're a looooong way from number one."
Felicity stared at her friend, dumbfound.
"Your number one hope for me is to sleep with a guy just once?" she screeched. "Not to be valedictorian? Not to get a 4.0 GPA? Not to register in the most classes ever?"
Taylor raised an eyebrow.
"What for? You'll do it on your own! You don't need a list for that, you're already dead set on this! Dude, when I told you to take a useless class for fun you didn't pick nude painting or French, you registered in some super serious class about a Spanish King no one's ever heard of…"
"This week focused on the Ominous Decade, it's awesome!" Felicity cheered happily. "Which reminds me, I have a ton of reading to do about it…"
Taylor gave her a pitiful look.
"Your life is just too intense," she said wryly.
"I have a stalker, need I remind you?"
"No need. So we have go to Florida, enjoy your Spring Break like any other normal human being…"
"And I ignored that solution…"
"Your loss. But that leaves: do him, give him a try and get him out of your system. Bonus point: you might just score that number one thing and it'll be one more number off that bucket list…"
"Ew, no, I told you. I'm not rewarding his behavior by sleeping with him! It's wrong on so many levels! And he's stupid. It takes all the hotness out."
Again, Taylor's eyebrow raised on her forehead.
"Says the girl who almost died just so she could tune the sound of his voice out and focus on his beauty?"
"I'm not saying I'm proud of it!" Felicity grumbled.
"Well then that leaves one solution: calling campus security, maybe the police. Or! OR EVEN MORE FUN" Taylor suddenly yelled.
Felicity's heart stopped a second, already bracing herself for the offer that Taylor was going to make.
"Threaten him to hack into M.I.T's mainframe and have him kicked out of the school! Please do that! That'd be so badass!"
The brunette shook her head dismissively, refusing to listen to the endless "pleases" that Taylor was showering her with. But she gave serious thought to calling campus security. She'd try to talk to Scott to see if he'd back off, and call campus security if things threatened to escalate.
"Jury's still in, I'll keep you posted," Felicity waved off.
"Well, just rest assured that if you end up murdered by McStalker, I'll tell everyone about his hotness."
Felicity grimaced.
"I'm not being murdered by a jock with less than half my IQ. I just can't let it happen."
"You'd just have to be blond and then we'd have the perfect pitch for a typical horror movie. 'MEATY PARTY AT M.I.T' would be the title: it'd have the best pun because meat would be the hotness of the guys from the cast and the charred skin that the murderer leaves scattered everywhere… You know what? I'll start right on writing that script."
"Yeah, you do that," Felicity laughed.
Taylor smiled at her friend, calmer then.
"So… if you insist on not having any normal-fun, what are you planning on doing this week?"
Felicity's smile broadened.
"Well I do have to prepare for a test about the Ominous Decade that you dismissed so cruelly not two minutes ago, and then I bought a new computer and I'm going to participate in a hacking competition with a few of the guys."
"Guys? Did I hear guys?"
"It's mostly some other people from my IT study group, there's that goth chick Fanny she's super cool. Not as cool as you don't worry. But it's mostly just an excuse to crush that smug bastard."
"Oooh, Smug Bastard, I like him already!" Taylor clapped her hands giddily, a carnal smile spreading her lips.
"Cooper," she spat and rolled her eyes, mimicking a stupid girl. "'Coop', urgh, I hate him."
"I've repeatedly told you that I'm not interested in names, Smoak. Don't bother. Creepy. McStalker. Smug Bastard. I have all the men in your life straightened in my head with this very efficient technique."
If Felicity had been a bitch, she would have shut her friend up by asking her if that was the reason why she couldn't remember her daughter's father's name. But she knew deep down that Taylor knew exactly who the guy was, and kept his identity a secret from her family. Why, Felicity didn't know, but there had to be a reason.
Also, she knew that if Taylor focused on Felicity's boyfriend traits to give them nicknames (or at least what she thought were the guys' traits), she was really glad Taylor refused to apply her own "technique" for "keeping guys straight in her head". Taylor was really bad with names and preferred cataloguing her guys in "size" order. And in that case size did not mean "height". More like, as she told her once: "the height of their pole". Taylor could be a freaking poet sometimes.
"Cooper's not a man in my life!" Felicity spat. "He's a smug bastard who thinks he knows better than everyone, he's insufferable, and I just can't wait to see his smirk falter when I crush his miserable little weasel face with the overwhelming power of my brains and my wonderful hacking skills."
Taylor closed her mouth in shock, and shivered exaggeratedly.
"Sounds like the beginning of a love story to me."
"Every goddamn story sounds like the beginning of a love story to you."
"Wrong! McStalker sounds like a total freak. Smug Bastard on the other hand… Is he hot?"
"Urgh, come on Taylor! It's like your factory setting. I can't mention a guy without you asking me if he's hot."
"Well, I mean… Maybe you're into weasel faces now."
"I'm not. And he's ugly."
"Ugly 'cause you hate his guts, or ugly because he forgets to shower and shave and change his clothes?"
"You know that most nerds do shower, right? And actually change and are not necessarily socially awkward?"
"Eh, so you only get one of the few traits from the stereotype? The socially awkward thing? Thank god, I don't think we could be friends if you didn't shower."
Felicity rolled her eyes. She was so done with that conversation. She refused to dedicate more time to Cooper (or maybe know she'd actually call him Smug Bastard in her head).
"Has your mom started talking to you again?"
Taylor's face fell, and Felicity understood why she had been such a pain that day. Taylor had suffered so much from her mother's reaction to her pregnancy that she had never really healed and forgiven her initial reaction of kicking her out. Pride ran in the Young family and when Mrs Young had realized her mistake, Taylor had refused to come home. Even though Taylor's father was a wonderful man, he never went against his wife's wishes and did his best to calm things down. He actually gave a huge gift to Felicity when he learnt that she was secretly hosting his daughter. He'd swung by many times trying to talk some sense in his daughter, telling her that if she'd just try to talk to her mother, things would settle down.
The fear of giving birth was eventually what pushed Taylor to accept her mother's offer to come back home. Felicity knew that even two years later, the pain of being rejected by her mother was still a bleeding wound. Felicity could relate. It wasn't like her relationship with her own mother was something of an example.
How To Deal With Being Rejected By Your Family could be the title of Felicity's autobiography. Half of that book would be called 'I don't fit in and it sucks'.
"No," she said simply. "My dad swung by though. Loves the place, wanted to buy me a few things but I know if he does she'll yell. I don't mind her yelling at me. But he shouldn't put up with my shit."
"Just call her, T. Put yourself in her shoes. You left without warning her. How would you react if Lilly did that?"
"I would never kick Lilly out if she got pregnant," Taylor bit out stubbornly. "My mother brought it on herself. She never apologized for making that choice. Not once. I know she regrets it but if she'd just… say it, you know?"
Felicity breathed in hard, wishing her friend was within distance so she could show her compassion and support physically instead of just an expression of her face.
"I know. I wish it was different."
"Well there's nothing you can do about it. Are you coming back here this summer?"
"Hopefully not, I'm trying to get an internship in that company in Boston, something IT-related. It'll have to be part time though because there aren't any paid internships and I need the money…"
"I hear you. Urgh, that sucks. Do you think you'll have another apartment by then?"
"My friend Fanny said she'd be happy if we became roommates so we'll check something out I guess. Why?"
"I was thinking maybe Lilly and I could take a few days off and fly out to visit you? She still can't say your name but she's really excited when I tell her about her Aunt Felicity!"
Felicity's heart warmed immediately at her best friend's words and slightly sheepish smile. Did she really think that Felicity would say no? They might talk as often as possible, but Felicity missed her best friend — her only friend for so long — that she couldn't even imagine saying no to such an opportunity.
"Of course you can come! You'll always be welcome at my place, wherever that may end up being."
Taylor's grin widened and turned into a huge smile.
"Yaaay! I read that there still were some parties on campus during the summer, do you think your friend Fanny is a responsible human being who would agree to babysit a well-behaved almost two year-old for free?"
Felicity burst into a laugh.
"Dude, I'll be juggling between an internship and an actual job. I'm not sure you'll get to hang out with me that much."
Taylor grimaced, and switched to a terrible impression of a southern accent.
"Well, at least you'll come home to a great meal after all that work, woman. It'll be a nice change from the Vegas heat though so yay again! Do you think you'll be free enough to take a bus to New York for a week-end?"
Felicity's heart fluttered. Plans for the summer. With her best friend. In her six months in Boston, she had never taken the time to go visit the Big Apple, even during the Christmas Holidays. She had so much homework, she was so involved in her studies that she'd forgotten that New York was merely four hours away by bus. So far, she had figured that her summer would be spent mostly by herself in her new apartment, coming home from work, then going to her internship, then pass out from exhaustion while she anticipated the classes she absolutely wanted to take the year after.
Knowing that she could let loose a little, and share college memories with her very best friend, maybe introduce her to Fanny too, made Felicity's day.
"Yeah, we'll find a way don't worry."
"Awesome! I can't wait! So do you have interviews lined up for that internship?"
"Not yet. Probably next week or the week after though."
Taylor nodded, then took her own manicure kit out and picked what color Felicity would be wearing. She only had red, brown, and pink but Felicity had been trying to get a little crazy. She'd seen kids on campus wearing a different color on each finger and she'd found herself thinking that maybe she could try it too.
"What is that color?" Taylor asked when Felicity showed her the various colors she now owned.
"Pistachio!" Felicity answered. "It's basically very light green, can you see?"
She put the bottle in front of the camera to show her best friend and grumbled.
"I'm so into green lately, I don't know why."
"Huh, it happens. I had my yellow moment, remember?"
They did their nails, bantering and joking around, then terminated the call after an hour.
Next time they spoke three weeks later, Taylor was delighted to learn that Felicity had indeed, crushed Cooper "Smug Bastard" Seldon at their hacking competition, and that Felicity dressed like Mrs Young when she interviewed for a job. Taylor gagged for fifteen minutes before Felicity could lead the conversation to another topic.
JANUARY 2007
Felicity had complained time and time again that she hated Vegas's dry and hot weather. Last year, she had welcomed the concept of "seasons" with wide open arms, reveling in the change in temperatures, discovering that it could pour rain for days in a row and what winter was supposed to be like. She was basically the only person smiling when it was foggy, laughing when it snowed and happy when it was cold as hell one day and too warm to wear anything but shorts the day after. Felicity had fallen in love with the constantly changing weather of New England instantly.
This year, Felicity had thought that she would share that enthusiasm with her boyfriend Cole. Well, boyfriend, she didn't really know. They hadn't exactly defined the relationship. But they'd slept together for the first time a little over two days ago on their fourth date so that had to have meant something, right? Although, since then it wasn't like they were any closer than before. Which was a bummer. She wasn't a prude or anything, but just a text asking how she was doing would have sufficed to appease her growing worry.
As a kid who's been abandoned by her father and neglected by her mother, Felicity always tried to tamper her anxiety and reining in her fears of being left behind. Just because people didn't give news didn't mean they stopped caring.
She also knew that when a guy didn't call, it usually meant that he was not interested. And if he suddenly stopped being interested after having sex with a girl he used to be really into (like, honestly, really into) before, that could only mean two things: either he'd been disappointed in her prowess in bed (which made her think that maybe there should be a way to give reviews to people you slept with, just for improvement, you know?), or he was an asshole. Sadly enough, one did not exclude the other.
Despite her major issues about being ditched without an explanation considering her past, Felicity was willing to give Cole the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she was overreacting. Maybe he had a good reason for not responding to her text. Or calling her.
Which explained why she was currently standing in front of the main door of his frat house, gathering up the courage to knock and talk to him.
Bordering on stalker tendencies (but, to be honest, it was only to save herself some time, looking for him all over campus like a lost puppy sounded more like being a stalker than hacking into Cole's online schedule to know when he might be home and when he was in class for sure), Felicity had found a way to be ninety percent sure that Cole wouldn't have an excuse not to see her.
Also, if anyone really wanted to think about it, he'd started it. Cole was the one who'd registered in the same class as her after talking to her at a friend's gathering right before registration. And he was also the one who kept pursuing her, asking her out with broad smiles, always turning the charm on where she was concerned. She'd gladly helped him out with his homework, laughing at his antics, they'd made out a few times also, but she'd always refused to sleep with him and couldn't bring herself to say yes when he asked her out on dates.
Why did she always say no? Well. She couldn't shake the idea that something was off. A cute and popular guy, being truly interested in her? She couldn't really believe it. Mark had been cute in his own way, and not popular at all which was the reason they had bonded in the first place. But Cole… Cole was different. She'd finally said yes the day after finals, pushed by Taylor who, over the last five months, had gone from obnoxious cheerleader to understanding and supportive friend, to a freak dying from frustration.
Taking a deep breath, Felicity knocked nervously. A few seconds later, one of Cole's brothers that she'd always found ridiculous opened the door and leered at her. Felicity tried to prevent herself from rolling her eyes, to no avail. She just couldn't help it. Boobs. They all just saw boobs instead of women. Not only was it infuriating and degrading, it was also pathetic to know that these men were looked upon as the bright future of America. And yet, most of them seemed unwilling to be more than just a lame cliché. Life was really unfair.
"What up, pretty face?"
Felicity blinked and bit back a depressed sigh.
"Is Cole here?"
The guy looked behind him over his shoulder, his eyes raking over the spacious living room and suddenly yelled.
"Hey! Guys! Someone get me Cole! There's another one begging for him, we'll have to get him a new nickname!" Then he turned to Felicity's blanching face, and smirked. "It should only take a minute."
Felicity clenched her jaw and barely nodded. Another one? Begging? Oh there would be no begging. She hadn't known he'd been dating other girls all this time. He spent a lot of evenings or afternoons with her but not to the point where he couldn't have been seeing other women. Which kind of hurt, because in any case, Cole had not been upfront with her. More and more, she could feel that she had been played. She could also feel the guilt engulfing her. Guilt for giving in when her instincts had told her something wasn't right, guilt for having been fooled, guilt for being one of these girls. She knew better. She was supposed to be a genius, remember?
Abruptly, the door reopened and Cole's dark enticing eyes bore into hers.
"Oh hey Felicity. What's up?"
Felicity opened her mouth, looking for something to say, and reminded herself that she was here to give him the opportunity to prove her wrong. To give him the benefit of the doubt. Screw his stupid brother. She wasn't here to beg. Felicity Smoak never begged. She would never fucking beg.
She wasn't her mother.
"I was wondering if you wanted to grab a coffee and hang out?"
Cole raised an eyebrow, and he looked… Felicity frowned, because he could not be looking embarrassed, could he? Why would he be embarrassed?
"Yikes," Cole grinned, "awkward. You looked like a smart girl, I thought you'd take the hint."
There was a dumbfounded silence, because for the life of her, Felicity could not find anything to say to that.
"Take the hint?" she repeated.
"Well, you know, I was kinda playing dead. Usually, chicks get it and they either come to yell or they come to plead." He brushed his hair with his hand, acting sheepish but Felicity could tell it wasn't sincere. Her eyes became frozen, as Cole looked struck for a second. "You haven't come to yell, have you?"
She opened her mouth, and realized: it was much worse than him being an absolute asshole. It was him being completely dumb too! Just a pretty face with charm, a guy who thought he had enough wit to get him out of any situation. Which, she'd grant it to him, was probably usually true. But you did not use your wit to play Felicity Meghan Smoak. No, you didn't.
"Trust me, I didn't come here to plead either," she spat. "I thought you'd have the decency to admit that you lied to my face but apparently…"
"Oh, that's what it's about? I never promised anything Felicity."
And he hadn't, technically. She'd just mixed interest and persistence with an actual relationship. Silly her.
"No you didn't. But our entire relationship ended up being all an act, your behavior is basically proving me that I was just another pin over your bedpost and that? You could have warned me about."
Cole had the nerve to shrug and grimace.
"Look, to be completely honest, I really thought it would be different with you. You're a nice girl, you know? It's just… I guess I just liked the chase and the fact that you played hard to get. Made it interesting, you know?"
The sentence, delivered with complete sincerity, knocked the air out of Felicity lungs and burnt so much she found herself laughing cynically. Playing hard to get? She hadn't been playing hard to get. She had self-respect, she'd made him wait and it… It had been all a game. She had been game and he a hunter. She wasn't even worth being a person with feelings. Oh no. She was just there for him to take, for him to use, for him to feel…
Irrepressible anger rose deep within her, something Felicity had never experienced before, and suddenly her fist hurt and there was a sounding yell.
"Aoutch! You bitch you broke my nose!"
And then her leg stroke and there was another yell and when Felicity blinked Cole was bended over, one hand nursing his genitalia, the other one trying to stop the bleeding from his nose all the while letting a long whine of pain.
"CUNT!"
Felicity spun on her heels and shook her head. Her teeth were still clenched. Only then did the tears pool in her eyes.
When she got home, her roommate and friend Fanny was watching Dr Who's first season for the hundredth times, eating cookies and laying upside down on the couch. Her legs were up against the back, her back on the seat, and her head was hanging as she brought the cookies down to her mouth.
Felicity dropped her purse, shrugged off her coat and walked to the couch where she literally fell seated, making Fanny's head bounce painfully against the floor.
"Duuuuuude! Harsh!"
Felicity mumbled a vague sorry, looking at the screen without seeing it for a few seconds before she blinked repeatedly and panic stroke in. Her head fell in her hands and she let out a full-on borderline-hysteric yelp.
What the hell had just happened?
"Ohmygodwhathaveidone!" Felicity freaked, suddenly standing up, eyes wide as saucers, and walking mindlessly towards the freezer. "I'm getting kicked out of M.I.T."
"What?" Fanny said, seating up. "Why?"
"Oh my god. Oh my god. I can't go back to Vegas."
"What the hell are you talking about?" Fanny pressed, looking at her roommate's arm reach blindly in the freezer and finding her pint of mint chip ice cream.
The lid was opened and dropped on the floor, a spoon the size of Nigeria taken out of a drawer, as Felicity kept on mumbling "whathaveidonewhathaveidonewhathaveidone" non-stop.
"You're leaving snow everywhere… If you at least mopped every once in a while…" Fanny grumbled in annoyance as she got up and walked towards Felicity's coat.
She dipped her hand in Felicity's pocket and retrieved her cellphone, pressing the number one on her speed dial.
"So many news so soon?" was the quick response.
Fanny grimaced — she found her roommate's best friend exhausting. But she couldn't deny that Taylor had a soothing effect on her rambling and awkward friend. She had met the young woman over the summer, and heard enough Skype conversations between the two over the past few months to know that only one person could get Felicity out of her shell, out of her head, and actually talk about herself and voice her fears.
Fanny did not consider herself a people person (people had opinions, computers didn't) but she actually really liked Felicity who was obviously going through something. Also, she wanted to get back to her show as soon as possible and she had a feeling it would take a while if she didn't call in the reinforcements.
"It's not Felicity, it's Fanny. Felicity's currently freaking out. I can't get through to her."
There was a surprised silence for a few seconds, then Taylor spoke.
"How freaked out is she?"
"I can't make out her words, she keeps ranting about how she's getting kicked out of M.I.T, and I don't care what Felicity says about her metabolism, that pint of ice cream is not meant to be eaten that fast."
"Eh, you'd be surprised about her metabolism. Do you think she's high?"
Fanny looked at her friend's watery eyes as she stared at her empty spoon and shrugged, forgetting that Taylor couldn't see her over the phone.
"I don't think so. I mean… She'd be loosening up, not freaking out, surely, right?"
"Okay, this is useless, I'll take it up from here. Thanks for calling, pass her the phone!"
Fanny shrugged again, and did what she'd been told, handing the phone wordlessly to Felicity who took it more out of habit than full awareness. She pressed the phone against her ear and dug the spoon deep in the box, still thinking everything over.
"F Smoak?" Taylor's voice broke through her haze of panic and at the sound, Felicity's dam broke. The tears didn't just pool anymore. They ran down her cheeks endlessly. Taylor's heart dissolved in pain. "Aw, Smoak, go to your computer and call me, okay? Tell me what happened."
Felicity used the laptop on the coffee table to load Skype as she started rambling.
"I think he was right. I think I broke his nose. He's going to press charges and then I'll be kicked out of M.I.T and I'll have to pay for his stupid nose, and I'll have to go back to Vegas and work with my mom and use my tips to pay back all these loans and…"
The panic that had subsided a little when she'd started crying came back immediately. Holy shit. This couldn't be happening. She'd worked so hard to get where she was, she had done everything right so far. She'd never even been violent before! What the hell had gone over her? So he'd insulted her? He wasn't the first! (sadly, he also probably wouldn't be the last) She couldn't go around knocking people's teeth out just because they'd treated her like shit.
Or, at least, she couldn't do it when she was a poor student, only granted the honor to study in an amazing college because she was on a scholarship that she had worked her ass off to obtain and…
She had too much pride. She couldn't go home to Vegas when she'd made such a big deal about leaving. When she'd decided two years ago that the day she left it was for good, it was to leave for better things.
Whatever. She'd lie to her mother. She'd live somewhere under a bridge, maybe. Maybe not in New England though, 'cause as much as she'd been appreciating winters so far, she didn't think she could handle an actual winter if she didn't have a home to go to.
"Slow down! Slow down! Whose nose did you break?"
"Cole's," Felicity answered, her voice suddenly cold and calm.
"Cole?" Taylor's disbelieving voice echoed. "Cute Cole? Who's been sweeping you off your feet since September? That Cole?"
"Yeah."
There was a confused silence over the phone, during which Felicity brought another spoonful of ice cream to her mouth. The salty taste of her tears mixed with the delicious sugar and Felicity was surprised to find that she actually liked it. Which made her feel even more pathetic. What the hell? She was losing her dream over anger management issues and pride and she was thinking about salt from tears and ice cream? What was wrong with her?
"Doesn't he like you though? Why would he press charges? I'm sure it was an accident."
"Oh, it wasn't an accident."
The Skype session started, and soon enough, Taylor's face appeared on screen and Felicity ended the phone call. In the background, Felicity could see Lilly seated on her stool, drawing ugly pictures that she'd have to pretend to be really impressed about.
"You broke his nose on purpose?" Taylor deadpanned, both impressed and baffled.
Next to her on the couch, Fanny's face expressed exactly the same emotions. Felicity frowned.
"I wouldn't say it was on purpose either, to be truthful." Her eyes widened again, as she recalled what had happened next. "I think I kneed him in the groin too."
"Holy shit Smoak! I… Wow! Didn't know you had that in you!" Taylor said.
"Neither did I. I… He just…" Felicity stammered.
"What the hell happened? What did he do?"
"We slept together and he told me he didn't call back because I wasn't entertaining anymore since I was no longer playing hard to get. Which apparently pissed me off to the point where I blacked out and punched him in the face, then mashed his family jewels."
There was no amusement in Felicity's bland voice, but Taylor blew a long, impressed whistle.
"Again: holy shit, Smoak! All this time, no one wanted us in their team during P.E but they didn't know what they were missing!"
Felicity shrugged and the tears started to fall again.
"He's going to press charges," she repeated, eyes empty.
"I highly doubt it," Fanny intervened.
Felicity's head perked up, and she turned the laptop so Taylor could see Fanny talk. The auburn-haired girl shrugged and shook her head dismissively.
"Guys like Cole, they're all talk but no game. He's dumb enough to think he's a man because he sleeps with girls and ditches them. He's not man enough to admit to a cop to having been beaten up by a girl. That's his mistake, but I think you're totally safe."
Felicity grabbed a tissue from her pocket and shook her head too.
"I can't lose my scholarship. I just… I can't. It's the first time I'm actually happy somewhere, I… I can't lose this. Independence. Fun. Learning interesting stuff. An actual future. I'm fitting in for the first time! Oh my god. I'll go apologize to him right now."
She stood up but Taylor opened her mouth before she could take one step.
"Don't you dare Felicity Smoak! Don't you dare apologize! He behaved like a douche, he's treated like a douche! That'll teach him! Maybe next time an awesome woman shows him the slight interest he'll actually know that he should just be glad and honest."
"He's lucky I'm into girls," Fanny added, her voice as bored as usual. "Honest to God, someone pursues me for months only to treat me like crap when I sleep with them, I'll use my skills to make their life hell."
"I mean," Taylor perked in, "don't let that stop you, you know. You being into girls and all. Maybe you could team up with Smoak and defend all the other girls he didn't treat right?"
Felicity blinked and held up her hands.
"No! No, no, no, no, no. We are not starting some feminist vigilante team! Vigilantism is so outdated. No. I broke his nose. I probably neutered him too, the way he was crying, so I think I've avenged my honor. Seriously guys. We're not going through with this."
"What if you're kicked out?" Fanny asked, her eyes shining with ideas to make Cole pay.
"You said I wouldn't!" Felicity protested.
"I mean, what's a little intimidation, just to make sure he doesn't get any ideas?"
"Yes!" Taylor approved.
"Fanny!" Felicity yelled at the same time. Then she turned her head to Taylor, who was already fist-pumping some cheering mantra. "No! I said no. What kind of example are you setting for your daughter? He's not going to say anything. I was dumb enough to fall for his tricks so we're even now. I appreciate the support but no. If he doesn't do anything, then I'll be lucky enough to get away clean and finish up my higher education and I swear I'm not taking any of it for granted. I'm, like, enjoying the whole thing from now on."
Taylor stayed quiet, pondering Felicity's last words while Fanny shrugged and waved the situation off.
"As you wish," Fanny pouted. "Too bad, I wanted to use that hacking technique we studied with Coop'."
"Well, do it on someone who actually deserves that wrath. Someone from the KKK or something."
"Does that mean you'll actually go somewhere with people for Spring Break this year?" Taylor cut, ditching the topic of Cole.
Felicity finished wiping her tears away with the tissue, wincing when she stuck it in her eye as she frowned, caught off guard.
"What?"
"You said you'd actually 'enjoy the whole thing', your words, not mine. Does that mean you'll go on Spring Break this year?"
Felicity opened her mouth.
"Baby steps? Plus, it's too late for this year. But maybe next year. Most definitely the year after."
Taylor raised an eyebrow and gave her an unimpressed look.
"That's your definition of 'enjoying the whole thing'? Going to Spring Break once on your Senior Year?"
Felicity swallowed, but said nothing.
"Hey, did Lilly finally get my Christmas present?" she deflected.
Taylor didn't change her expression, not at all surprised by her friend's reaction. She rolled her eyes, slightly annoyed, then sighed.
"Hold on a minute, okay?"
Taylor left the room quickly, letting Felicity keep an eye on her oddly well-behaved daughter. Felicity never thought that a kid with half of Taylor's DNA could be this quiet and obedient. But she had to give it to her friend, her child seemed happy and very well cared-for. She had spent part of the summer at Felicity's and hung out with the adults and even celebrated her second birthday in Boston.
Barely a minute after, Taylor came back on the screen, carrying the wrapped gift that Felicity had sent weeks earlier and apparently gotten lost in the process. Taylor grinned happily.
"This should lift up your spirits!" she said, making Felicity smile already. "Lilly, come here honey!"
Instantly, as if she'd been eavesdropping on the conversation the whole time (which, now that she thought about it, she must have been and god, Felicity hoped she hadn't understood anything), the two-and-almost-a-half-year-old stood up from her stool and ran to the computer.
"Hey, remember when Santa came in the other day?" she asked her daughter, who nodded excitedly. "And you opened all these great gifts under the tree? Well, turns out Aunt Felicity's got a gift for you from Santa! And look what just arrived today!"
"YAAAAAYY!" Lilly positively screamed, her eyes shimmering with sparkles of excitement.
Felicity startled, and heard Fanny jump in surprise behind her.
"Hot damn, what was that?" she grumbled.
The very quiet child turned into a raging monster in an instant. One second Taylor held the very pretty gift that Felicity had wrapped with love and patience so it would look adorable, the next Lilly had snatched the box from her mother's hands and torn the beautiful paper apart in one swift move that reminded Felicity of an attacking snake.
The change was scary. And the scream of delight that followed the moment when Lilly recognized just what exactly the gift was split everyone's ears. The three women were left with ringing ears and their eyes wide opened in utter shock.
"Look Mama! LOOK!" she yelled. She showed the puzzle of Ariel the Little Mermaid and the book that went with it and screamed, pointing at the smiling face of the mermaid. "PRINCESS! LOOK!"
"I'm looking!" Taylor responded quickly, as Lilly discarded the wrapping paper and sat right where she was on the floor to open the plastic of protection, resorting to using her teeth when her little fingers fumbled too much.
"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said she liked the Little Mermaid," Felicity deadpanned.
"'Like' doesn't cover it, Smoak. I fall asleep to the sound of 'kiss the girl' and wake up to her nightmares about Ursula. I'm exhausted and I hate my mother for introducing her to the movie in the first place."
"Read story Mama!" Lilly demanded, nudging the book against her mother's leg.
Taylor sighed.
"Did you really have to give her the book of the Disney version? She has the movie, you know."
"Oh, come on! You know it's better to read bedtime stories to kids, it's good for them on so many levels it's not even…"
"Yeah yeah, I know. You do realize that she has too short an attention span to actually listen to the entire story, right?"
"You don't have to read it right away!" Felicity countered, while Lilly wouldn't stop nudging the book to get the story.
"Right, like she's going to wait," Taylor snorted. "Lilly, what do we say to Aunt Felicity for forwarding Santa's gift?"
The little girl stood up instantly, jumping on both her feet in a move that made Felicity envious, and stuck her head to the webcam, smiling with all her little teeth.
"THANKYOUTHANKYOUTHANKYOU AUNT FLEETY!"
"You're welcome," Felicity beamed.
She'd spent the two weeks that Taylor and Lilly had spent at her place trying to teach the kid how to pronounce her name properly, to no avail. Deep down, Felicity knew that her name wasn't easy to pronounce (much less for someone who was barely turning two), and she'd also quickly understood that Lilly had figured out that it annoyed her to no end that she was messing up and made no effort to make it better.
So Felicity had dropped the whole thing altogether, thinking that it'd work itself out eventually. After all, Aunt Fleety was kind of cute, wasn't it?
As quickly as she'd come, Lilly gathered her gifts and stomped off to her stool where she dropped her things and proceeded to peruse through the book and do the four-piece puzzle at the same time. Obviously, the task turned out to be really difficult.
"Well, I should be left alone for a good while I guess now… Thanks for that."
"You're welcome too," Felicity repeated, grinning. "You were right, you know. It did lift my spirit. She's a good kid. You certainly gifted her with powerful lungs."
"Heh," Taylor snickered. Then she bit her lips in a typical tell that something was bothering her. "I… Look, I'm sorry, Smoak."
Felicity frowned.
"What are you sorry for? That was awesome! Thanks for letting me see her reaction!"
"No. I mean… It's… You told me from the get go that you were good with being just friends with Cole and I was the one to push you to get to the next level. I shouldn't have, I'm really sorry."
Felicity's throat tightened, but she managed to swallow the lump of her own guilt and disappointment.
"It's not your fault. He obviously was never interested in being just my friend. If I'd told you a definite 'no way in hell' you wouldn't have pushed."
Felicity sighed, and wiped a worried hand over her face. The panic that had disappeared was seeping back viciously, like an insufferable venom.
"Are you sure I shouldn't go apologize publicly? Or at least offer to pay for his nose job?"
Taylor had a hard time keeping herself from outright laughing (which Fanny didn't even try to do), then sighed.
"I honestly think you'd give him ideas. He won't think about pressing charges, trust me. He's a frat boy. He's got his pride. Don't sweat it. I'm sure it's not the first time he got punched. Or maybe it was. But just think of it as justice."
Felicity frowned, her face closed off.
"I really don't believe in violence to prove your point or get through to someone."
"And if your scholarship wasn't on the line if it suddenly came to him to press charges or mess with you, I would be all for you being the better person. But he hasn't registered in any of your classes this term, has he?"
Felicity shook her head no.
"Then chances are you won't ever have to see him again. He's licking his wounds, probably cursing you, but he won't do anything against you. Drop it. Forget about the whole thing, put it behind you."
Felicity gnawed her lip, anxiously.
"It's like it's opposite day, you know," she mused suddenly. "I mean, usually I'm friend zoned by hot guys and I just stare at them wishing they'd be interested and they're never interested because I'm 'such a great friend', you know?"
Taylor rolled her eyes but indulged her.
"And this time," Felicity kept going, "he acted like a friend, and stopped being interested once we slept together. Do you think I'm actually so bad in bed that it cancels out everything that might make me interesting?"
Taylor's jaw dropped, and she legit choked on her anger, while Fanny burst out in laughter. Felicity spun and shot a murderous glance at her roommate.
"What?" she said. "He said he thought he'd be able to settle and bam, I sleep with him and suddenly he's playing dead. There might be a link."
"Oh god," Taylor grunted. "That's it, I'm gonna come right there and punch that asshole in the face myself."
Fanny shook her head.
"Felicity, stop immediately," her roommate ordered, still smirking dejectedly. "This right here? This is 'Being a Manipulative Dick 101'. Of course he's going to say it's your fault. Of course it's because your body and the way you move in bed can't fill the shallowness that is his life, and the emptiness that is his heart. He's a dick. He's a child. He's an utter moron. He's laying the groundwork for other assholes to exploit your insecurities. Don't let him. No one is terrible in bed, it's impossible. People are either scared, insecure, or incompatible."
Felicity gulped, as Taylor clapped vigorously.
"WHAT SHE SAID!" she added. "Hear, hear! Oh I wish I had tequila to cheer to this."
Felicity couldn't help a smile, prompting a devious smirk to Fanny.
"And, you know, if you're that worried, I guess I could be talked into sleeping with you. You know, for your sake."
Felicity barked out a laugh, knowing full well that Fanny was messing with her.
"Awww, that means a lot! Thank you."
"Anytime," Fanny winked at her.
Felicity turned to face the screen again, and pulled a little face.
"You guys are right. I mean… In general, I tend to not go after the guys that I want. Remember Garrett, junior year? Turned out he was interested and I thought it couldn't happen…"
"Garrett? Was that Sweet Buttocks?" Taylor asked.
Felicity rolled her eyes. "Yes! Anyway. It's not your fault. I wanted to believe that he was a good guy when deep down I could feel that it wouldn't work. You know… At least I took a chance, right?"
Taylor smiled broadly, a smile that reminded Felicity of Lilly.
"Exactly. You took a chance. Never stop taking chances, Smoak. And when you make mistakes, you can always hack yourself into the assholes' lives and ruin them from the inside."
Taylor's grin turned positively evil, making Felicity laugh.
"Also, I'm glad you're happy here. Remember that freak out you had at my place before saying yes to coming here? Thinking you'd never fit in?"
Felicity felt her cheeks blush, but kept on chuckling. She'd never thought, the way her day had been going, that she'd be laughing and feeling good within a few hours. She was lucky to have Taylor. To have Fanny too.
"I'm not always right, I guess."
"Nine times out of ten is still pretty impressive, don't worry. I'm still waiting on you to meet some royalty."
Felicity grinned.
"Well, I looked it up. There is no queen attending M.I.T."
Taylor burst into laughter.
"Well! Maybe not M.I.T then. Maybe after that."
"Ha! Let me finish my education first! We're not there yet."
Taylor smiled, tilting her head.
"We're not there yet indeed."
JUNE 2008
"SURPRIIIIIIISE!" Felicity screamed as Taylor opened her door widely, wearing only a beautiful, silky, completely see-through camisole.
Eyes bugging out of her face, Felicity couldn't help but tilt her head on the side, step back, and blink repeatedly. "Surprise for the both of us apparently!" she added, covering her eyes.
"SMOAK?" Taylor screeched, as shocked as her best friend. "YOU'RE BLOND!"
Completely undeterred, Taylor pushed the door fully open and threw herself at Felicity, hugging her so fiercely her breath stopped.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?"
The rest was a bunch of "oh my god"s mixed with "I'm so happy"s that prevented Felicity from reminding the young woman of her state of undress.
"Can't. Breathe." Felicity managed to utter after what felt a minute.
"Oh, sorry! Sorry! What are you doing here, you sly fox? AND YOU'RE BLOND NOW!"
Felicity grinned happily, passing a hand in her newly dyed hair, as Taylor did the same in wonder.
"Can we talk about that when you're not burning my brain with your unmentionables?" she smirked, arching an eyebrow. "Were you expecting someone or is it the new casual trend in Vegas?"
For the first time in a very, very long time (she couldn't even remember when that time was, frankly), Felicity saw Taylor blush timidly, and gnaw at her lips. Now, her interest was definitely piqued.
"So I was supposed to have a hot date tonight."
"Hot date?! You never said you were seeing someone!"
Felicity should have been offended but the truth was, she wasn't exactly upfront with her friend either. Felicity had started a friends with benefits relationship of sorts with her enemy Cooper "Smug Bastard" Seldon for the past few months and hadn't come around to telling Taylor. She knew her friend would have questions, or would shove in Felicity's face that she'd called it, and the truth was, Felicity couldn't explain what the hell was going on between the two. She didn't even like Cooper. He really was a smug bastard. But they had so many projects together and there were so many tensions to release… Nope, to this day, Felicity still couldn't explain why she was sleeping regularly with Cooper.
So yeah. She could understand why Taylor wouldn't tell Felicity about sleeping with a guy.
Since giving birth, Taylor had been on a few dates but she always complained that it was difficult for a young single mother to find a guy interested in her, because Lilly and her were a package deal. Either they were freaked out by the fact that she had a child (was she looking for a new daddy?) or the fact that she was a mother prevented Taylor from the freedom of going out whenever she wanted. All in all, Taylor had enjoyed what she could, and never really complained.
The fact that Taylor hadn't been vocal about this new guy meant everything to Felicity. The key to understanding Taylor Young was to listen when she wasn't speaking. Everything she said was for show, shock value, or just humor. Everything she didn't say, or barely voiced where men were concerned, was worth knowing.
If she hadn't mentioned him, this could only mean one thing. This guy mattered.
"Well… You know how I get," Taylor confirmed. "I didn't want to jinx it."
Felicity smiled warmly, and kissed her friend on the cheek.
"Looks like you're going to jinx him, you minx," Felicity joked, punching her friend's shoulder slightly. But she couldn't hide the disappointment she felt knowing that she'd screwed up her own surprise. She should have called. She knew better than to be spontaneous. "Well, I'll let you to it, then. I'm here 'til Sunday, so if you're free tomorrow…"
Taylor's eyebrows rose on her forehead, and her arm jerked out to grab Felicity's who was already spinning on her heels.
"What? No way! You're not leaving! Lemme put a rain check on all of this, and then I'm all yours. 'I'll let you to it', she says," Taylor mocked, "'if you're free tomorrow', she says. Give me two seconds, then I want the whole explanation for this miraculous sight."
Taylor was already walking towards her phone, dragging Felicity inside with her, and began texting furiously.
"Where's the monkey? How has she not jumped me already?" Felicity asked, looking around, seeking the little girl.
Taylor gave her a side eye.
"At my parents', dummy. I don't make it a habit to parade around my three year old in my 'unmentionables' as you said while waiting for a guy so I can get some. I'm no mother of the year but give me a little credit."
Felicity shrugged, perusing through a magazine laying on the kitchen counter. "Never bothered my mom."
"My point exactly," Taylor deadpanned.
"So… who's the guy?"
Taylor half-shrugged mysteriously, finishing up her texting. Soon enough, her phone beeped with a response, prompting another set of furious messaging.
"No one worth mentioning for the moment. Either he's a good guy and you'll learn his name in a few weeks, or he'll turn out to be an ass and you'll know his number."
Felicity chuckled. Typical Taylor.
"Fine. You sure you don't mind? I wouldn't want to get between you and your libido."
Taylor snorted. "Don't worry about me." She put the phone down and turned towards her bedroom door to change. "When did you get here?"
"I just landed actually. You're my first stop. And hopefully my last."
"Aaaah!" Taylor exclaimed. "The prodigal daughter comes back and doesn't visit her mom. Typical biblical drama."
"You've never actually read the Bible, have you?" Felicity laughed. "She doesn't call. I think she's still upset that I left. If she knew I was here, she'd want me to stay at her place, and she'd be… her, you know? And, considering what I have planned for this week-end, I'll get her hopes up."
Taylor's head perked from the door left ajar in curiosity.
"Now you're getting my hopes up. What have you planned for this week-end?"
Felicity's grin turned evil.
"I'm here to keep a promise I made you when we were thirteen, T."
Taylor's eyes literally started sparkling with glee.
"I want you to say it," she ordered, her voice shaky with barely contained happiness.
Felicity's lips spread into a blinding smile, her own eyes mirroring Taylor's as she dug her hand in the pocket of her jacket.
"Taylor Young. Will you spend my last night as a law-breaking twenty-year-old illegally drinking and partying with me?" she asked solemnly, shaking her fake ID in front of her.
The sound that came out of Taylor was a mix between a screech and a sob, as she ran to tackle her friend on the nearby couch.
"YES! Yes! Yes! I thought you'd never ask! I thought we'd never get to do this! YES! Felicity Meghan Smoak: you rock, you rule. I bow before your awesomeness! Does this mean what I think it means?"
If possible, Felicity's smile spread even wider.
"You have carte blanche. We'll celebrate how you deem fit."
The glint that was in Taylor's eyes would have scared Felicity if she didn't know her friend. Truth was, it should have scared her precisely for that reason.
"Is there something that you really wish for your birthday?" Taylor asked.
Felicity shrugged shyly. "I mean, if I wasn't such a wuss about needles, I'd get one of these industrial piercings, you know? Like, right there, on my ear. Wouldn't that look badass?"
Again with the sparkles in Taylor's eyes.
"Oooooh I was thinking of a stop at the tattoo artist but this is even better!" she exclaimed.
Felicity laughed, hoping to deflect the idea. "I'm terrified of needles. There's no way in hell I can go through a piercing."
Taylor grinned and walked toward the freezer, opening it up proudly.
"I have just what you need to ebb that fear away."
She took the bottle of Patrón out, and shook it accompanying the gesture with a dance. Taylor's eyes really should have scared Felicity. The next morning, Felicity woke up on the bathroom floor, hugging the toilet, with a terrible pain in her right ear and a splitting headache, while Taylor's sleeping form faced her as she laid apparently comfortably in the bathtub.
An epic birthday night it was indeed. Not that they remembered much about it. That's how Felicity spent her first day as a 21 year-old nursing a massive hangover, eating birthday cookies and watching The Little Mermaid with her sick best friend and her snuggly goddaughter.
MARCH 2009
Felicity blinked, and bit back a moan of annoyance at the sun that was shining behind her eyelids, her hand fisting the sheet underneath her skin. Her head was slightly pounding. She was thirsty as hell.
And she was pretty sure she was naked.
Felicity blinked once more, startled by the realization, and turned her head slowly as the memories from the night before came back to her. She remembered vividly seeing a very, very hot mixed-race guy with the most perfect black skin and most mesmerizing grey eyes she had ever seen in her entire life.
And now, that guy was still sleeping beside her in a motel room that was neither hers nor his. And she'd slept with him. She had totally slept with him. She didn't know how she'd seduced him (or maybe he'd seduced her? Does it count when you're seduced in just one look?) but she remembered his unwavering stare, the way he was just eating her up with his eyes, smiling enticingly at her until she found herself walking slowly towards him, mirroring his smile.
Felicity gathered the sheets to hide her nakedness, eyes already seeking her underwear and flimsy dress. She didn't know why she was suddenly so shy. Because she certainly hadn't been shy the night before.
She wouldn't say she had been smooth (Felicity was anything but smooth) but for once, her weird rambles full of sexual innuendoes had been completely welcome and very useful. The glint of desire and interest in the beautiful man's eyes had only grown every time something inappropriate came out of her mouth.
Because when Felicity Smoak was tipsy (okay, maybe a little bit more than tipsy) she really went all in. She was pretty sure she'd told the guy that he was the hottest six times ("I mean, just… woooooowww"). Apparently, that wonderful technique worked. Who knew that say "wow" for seven seconds straight was considered a flirting technique? She didn't.
Slowly, as quietly as possible, Felicity slid out of bed and grabbed her underwear that she put on, her eyes never leaving the very still form of the hot guy. She grabbed her dress (which was cut) and put it on, grabbing her shoes and her purse then tiptoed out of the room quietly, looking lovingly and proudly at the man who hadn't moved an inch since she'd woken up.
The door closed, Felicity opened her purse, put her sunglasses on because damn, that headache wasn't going away without an Ibuprofen or an aspirin, then took her cellphone out of her purse.
She had four texts and two missed calls.
Good choiiiiiice that dude is hot! from her friend Melissa at 11 pm. Felicity smirked. She'd been too busy flirting with him, she had forgotten about her phone for the first time in her life.
Are u comin back to the room or gettin laid? At 1 am from Melissa once more, and the fact that the American Literature major had dropped the "g"s and written "you" with a letter meant that she'd passed the "drunk" level.
Frlicyty w,re bqck qt the rom whhere r u? had been sent at 5 am. There was no doubt that Melissa had been plastered when she'd texted, and Felicity's heart warmed at the thought that even drunk off her ass her friends were still worried about her.
Felicity was pretty sure her hot guy and herself had fallen asleep around 5:30 (not that she'd looked at the clock). It was now 8, and she was pretty sure she'd been woken up by the vibrations of her phone.
Not cool not to call. We're worried over here.
That was the last text, received at 7:57. Melissa had also tried to call her once at 5, and another time right after that last text. Felicity sighed, trying to pinpoint exactly where she was, remembering that neither had driven. They'd paid for the closest motel room, impressed that there was an establishment that wasn't fully booked. Fate had worked for them, for once.
Felicity sighed and texted Melissa back, telling her that everything was fine and that she was coming back to her and their friends. After a slight hesitation, she also asked if she had anything for a headache.
Felicity started walking, her phone clutched in one hand, her purse and shoes hanging limply from the other one. She couldn't help smiling, thinking back about the night. She couldn't help it. She pressed number one on her speed dial and didn't have to wait long before the person picked up.
"What the hell are you doing up at 8 during your Spring Break, Smoak? I'm at work, I have an excuse. You don't."
Felicity pondered the question, wondering where she could even start. In the end, her heart and her body chose for her: the sigh she let out was something a fourteen year old watching her crush walk down the hall would exhale.
"Taylor, it was perfect," she said breathily.
There was a surprised silence on the other end of the call.
"What was?"
"I met a guy yesterday. And our entire night was… it was what you see in movies, and shows. It was… I can't even begin to…" she trailed off, dreamily, replaying parts of the evening in her head and blushing despite herself.
"Wow!" Taylor whistled. "That good?"
"And even better. He was… I can't even tell you. It was the most perfect night ever. I wish I could relive it."
"Hot damn, Smoak. You're calling me during you walk of shame at Spring Break? My dreams for our friendship have all come true. This, right here, is the ultimate college experience. I'm so proud."
Felicity felt feverish with giddiness. And so relaxed. Man, she felt SO relaxed.
"Happy to oblige."
"You're going to see him again then?" Taylor pressed curiously.
"No," Felicity grinned. "No. Such perfection can never be reproduced. It wasn't the point. It was a complete live-in-the-moment kind of night. I think we both felt it, you know?"
Felicity could practically hear her best friend blink confusedly on the other side of the phone.
"Are you saying you just had a one night stand?"
Felicity thought it over, startled. Huh. She hadn't thought of it that way until now. It had been so natural, so great between them, she hadn't even realized it would end up being a one night stand. She really didn't think she was the kind of girl who could do that.
But then again…
"I think I'm saying that, yes. How fitting that I'm scoring that number one off your bucket list in the most perfect way, with the most perfect night I could dream of. He was so respectful. So tender, so loving."
"Dude, stop you're making me tingly," Taylor laughed. "How fitting indeed… Are you sure you don't want to pursue that? I mean…"
"We didn't exactly talk, you know? I mean, we sorta did, but it wasn't anything serious or deep, or anything. I know virtually nothing about him, not even his major. Not even his name!"
There was a quiet moment where Felicity could completely picture Taylor's dumbfounded face.
"You don't know his name? How do you not know his name?"
Felicity shrugged, even though it was useless since Taylor couldn't see her.
"It didn't seem relevant. I'm telling you. We could both feel it. And if I saw him again, the idea I have of him would stumble and fall."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
Felicity chuckled. She didn't know if the giddiness and overall peppy feeling she was experiencing was remnants of her drunkenness or due to the four orgasms she'd had throughout the night.
She was feeling philosophical.
"You know how when you meet someone, you have this idea of them immediately? Like, they're going to look some way and you're going to put them in a category and once you learn stuff about them they don't fit into that category anymore?"
"Yeeeaaahhh?" Taylor said slowly.
"He fits into the Insanely Hot category. And, knowing yesterday would be our only night, we gave everything we got and it was just awesome. I wish I could make up a word for how awesome it was. But if I see him again, I know I'll be disappointed. He probably won't fit the idea of him that I built in my head. Maybe he's usually not that good in bed. Maybe he speaks badly to his girlfriends. Maybe he's a complete dumbass. Maybe he's not even going to college and has lied his way through Spring Break. You know what I mean?"
"This is a very weird way to think, but I'm following yeah."
"I don't want to be disappointed. I don't want to have this night altered because of what comes next with him. It was perfect, Taylor. It was perfect, and I wouldn't want it any other way."
Taylor chuckled, and Felicity was pretty sure her friend clapped in the background.
"Wow. So we're calling him Perfect Night and we're both okay with that?"
"Hell yeah. We're calling him Perfect Night, and when I'm seventy and a widowed cat-owner, I'll think about that night and I'll feel all tingly inside again."
"Eww, but fine if that makes you feel better about growing old. What if you meet someone who's as good as him in bed though? Or as hot?"
Felicity shrugged.
"I don't know. I don't think I'm going to meet a lot of really hot sex-gods at Queen Consolidated. Even less from my cubicle in the I.T department. "
Taylor laughed.
"So you're saying yes?"
Felicity breathed in the delicious smell of the ocean, sitting on a bench distractedly. The sun was already up in the sky, showering the water with light making it sparkle with a million diamonds. The sight fit her mood. Everything felt so good, she wished she could bottle up this moment, and keep it forever with her.
"I mean, I don't know. It's not my dream job, it'll be just I.T but I didn't have time to do more internships these past few years because of my mom's money issues, and that man, Walter Steele, said the position could be temporary. If I play my cards right, I might be promoted quickly. And California is close to Nevada, so that helps."
"What, you'd actually visit your mother?" Taylor joked. "She'll be delighted."
Felicity snorted.
"No, silly. But you could come visit, and so could I. It would be easier, and cheaper."
"You could always look for a job in Vegas. A hacker specialized in surveillance device would be most welcomed in a casino, you know."
"No way in hell," Felicity let out between clenched teeth. "I hate casinos, I hate everything that makes Vegas what it is. It ruined my mother. I'm not cynical enough to add fuel in this machine."
"Okay, okay. Sorry I asked, you don't need to bite my head off."
Felicity sighed, and leaned back on the bench.
"Sorry. I just… I miss you guys, but my life is not in Vegas. It's… I'm so relieved I don't have to go back home after I graduate, you have no idea. Just having a plan, just knowing I'm going forward with my life… You don't know how soothing it is. I lost sleep over that. Just because you declare a major, or graduate doesn't mean you're going to find a job right away. And leaving M.I.T scares the shit out of me. It's the first time I feel good somewhere, the first time people look out for me and are interested in my opinions and my knowledge."
"I know," Taylor responded. "You're going to find that again. Queen Consolidated is a huge company, I'm sure you'll make a ton of friends. I'm sure you'll have people who'll look after you, and you'll soon be part of their team and they won't be able to do anything when you're not there."
Felicity laughed.
"We'll see I guess. Look I'm gonna have to let you go, I'm like, ten minutes away from my hotel and I desperately need to catch up on my sleep right now."
Taylor snorted.
"Yeah, I'm sure you didn't sleep much."
"Say hi to Lilly from me, okay?"
"Yeah. Take care Smoak. And congrats on your bucket list. I remember four years ago when I wrote it, I put number one just to mess with you and rile you up. It's funny how much has changed since then. It's good to hear you so satisfied."
"Satisfied," Felicity grinned. "Yop, satisfied is the word."
Felicity hung up quickly, but contrary to what she'd told her best friend, she didn't walk back to her hotel room right away. She stayed seated on the bench, her feet buried in the cold sand, and she stared at the horizon, relishing in the feeling of rightness that she was experiencing in that instant.
Life was definitely not what she'd expected all these years ago when she packed her bags as she left for Boston. If Taylor, Fanny, and now Melissa had taught her anything in these four years, it was to let go of things that were holding you back. She had become who she had wanted to be. She was no longer lame-o Felicity Smoak from the North part of Vegas, raised by a single mother who loved men more than she loved her kid.
She was Felicity Smoak, soon to be M.I.T graduate, a confident (sort of) woman who would let life surprise her. It wasn't always good, but she had a feeling there would be other things. Other things that would make her feel as alive as she felt right now.
[NEXT: Part III — THE PRE-ARROW YEARS]
Author's Note: I'm kind of worried some might think Felicity is a little OOC here in that last year, which I'll defend right away. I think Felicity has a tendency to put men on a pedestal (men as in Oliver) and think they're too far out of her league and I think that her being a "nerd" and all makes her think that it's never going to happen. That's sort of what I was trying to show here. She doesn't want the chance to have her "idea" of who that guy is to be ruined because he'll be human. She knows Oliver has flaws but a lot of time she just looks past it because she has this idea (true or not) that Oliver is a hero. I don't know if I'm expressing it, but I don't think Felicity having a one night stand and/or not knowing who the guy's name even is, is too far of a stretch. But I'm opened to discussing this, obviously.
Next chapter will focus on Felicity's first two years at QC and you'll get to see Walter Steele, Moira Queen and witness first hand Felicity's parenting skills. I hope this chapter pleased you! :-)