Chapter One: MABEL

YoustupididiotdumbassfatheadloseranfaryshittyFucki ngBROTHER! Oh god. I just said that. No, no. I thought it. There's nothing wrong with that, right? Yes, yes, there is something very wrong with that! At least I didn't curse out lou-

"What the fuck!" ...shit! Godammit, it doesn't matter. "Did you just curse at me?" Uh, yeah, well; "Yes! Yes I did! Do you want me to do it fucking again!?" don't look at me like that... "You're not even putting the f word in the right place!" What does he know? OK. A lot. He cursed more than I ever did or probably will, at least if I don't make this a habit; he better not let this turn into a habit.

"Mabel, just leave me alone." The hell? "Why should I! You're acting like some stupid teenager." I realize that sounds... "We ARE teenagers! …Not that anybody would ever look at you and think it..."

Oh, hell no.

"And what's that supposed to mean? I'm not the one who ran off to art school in freaking Washington even when mom and dad wanted you to-" STOP interrupting m- "I don't want to go to Stanford! And what I'm doing is serious!" Pshhhhh. "You make. CARTOONS!"

Oh great, that chin thing he does when he's... "You shut the hell up! That's what I love! That's me! What the hell are you doing, huh Mabel? You're an intern at some second rate start up software company!" Stop it! "And what's wrong with that?" That'll... "You don't even know what a terabyte is!" ...not show him. Dammit. OK, regroup. "Do too." Hah! "Do not." Wait... "Do too." Not "Do not." this "Do too." again. "Do not." Crud. "Do too." Are we done? No, he's gonna..."Fine then! What is it?"

Ok, lets see... "It's a, uh... thing… thing about earth...?" Terra firma? "No! It's a large file size! For instance, I have a 2 terabyte hard drive..." Blah blah blah. "I knew that." Lying is ok in some situations. "No, no you didn't! I just had to explain it to you; that means you don't know it!"

…

"Shut up!" Yeah... "Only if you can!" Is that a dare? "Fine!" Challenge accepted. "Fine!". Now just turn around, and he'll realize he's being a dummy. Right? Dipper. Dippppppppeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

This is stupid. Silent treatments don't work they never do you nimrodfuckshit NO. Don't. Curse. Is he acting like this because he's thinking with his... Oh god. Oh god. Brain shutdown no gross no EW. He is your brother! Do not ever let that come into your brainOhGOD I said 'come' its already happening I'm a pervert he's turned me into a pervert they were right I should've joined a convent if I did that none of this would've happened now everybody's going to know me as that cray cray bitch who thinks about her brother's SHIT that beetle is huge! This must be documented; phone now. Haha! I love sliding it. Left right left right leftright left righttttttttttttttt- It's been two minutes!? Screw this!

"Say something." He still isn't turning to me. Is he frozen? "I thought we were giving the silent treatment. Emphasis on silent." No, just a jerk. Alright. "Ok, well, quiet time's over!" Yet we're still being quiet... fine then. "I just want to know what's wrong, Dipper. That's it." C'mon. Look at me. Do it. Do ittttttttttt.

Yes! Finally! Now I can give him the eyes. "Don't do that". Do what?

"Listen, if you want to know what happened