Disclaimer: Sadly enough, I don't own anything. This is written for pure enjoyment only and no profit to be gained!

Spoiler: "In The Wee Small Hours."

CHAPTER 2: Uncertainty in her heart

Alex's entire family observed her closely; her father more so than others. He saw the worry that was held in her dark eyes. Her body language wasn't any better. She was slack-like; as if her legs were too weak to hold up the rest of her body. She looked like she was willing to give up; as if all the effort she put in wasn't worth it anymore. She wasn't smiling as much as she used to either. Alex usually put on a brave face when she went to see her family, but today she didn't feel like it. Something had changed in her; something that told her not to hide her feelings any longer. There was no point. There never really was because they always knew.

She bit her lip while she recalled back to the short conversation she had this morning with Bobby. She was out on the deck, gazing over the backyard she used to run around in when she was a kid; the time when she was worry free. Alex had been there maybe an hour but had hardly said a thing. That's when her father walked up behind her and softly whispered her name. She turned to look at her father and was about to speak when he nodded his head. He understood. It was written all over his face. He didn't need to ask what she was worried about; her whole family already knew. Alex had filled them in that night after it had happened. After she hung up the phone, she found herself crying for Bobby.

Her father, John Eames, is a retired NYPD police officer. He'd heard all the rumors about Robert Goren before they became partners. He was worried for his daughter and he sure in the hell didn't want her to be partners with the departments whack job. He continued to tell Alex to request a new partner; finally, one day she listened. It was less than a month into their partnership when she submitted that letter. Her father was the main reason for it. Alex truly didn't understand Robert Goren and she figured she never would. She did think he was erratic, she did think he exhibited antisocial behavior and she did, at times, feel he displayed signs of volatile and bizarre interrogation techniques. She had serious doubts about his judgment and mental stability as well which eventually lead her to submitting the letter.

And then she withdrew her request. Her father wasn't happy. Alex recanted the letter for two reasons: Deakins had asked her to wait a few more weeks, which she agreed to, but there was something else that ultimately changed her mind. During the first week of contemplation, Alex saw something in her Robert Goren's eyes. She witnessed something that told her that he'd never lie to her or hurt her on purpose. His eyes, they spoke in volumes and they asked her to stay. They were so gentle and soft. She remembers a certain case not even a week after she'd submitted the letter. She recalled the instance vividly because it was largely related to the reasons she withdrew the letter. They both were walking out of the interrogation room after closing a difficult case. They worked together as a team and got the confession they needed. She'll never forget the look he had on his face when she caught a glimpse of him as he held the door open for her. He smiled at her; no words needed to be said. She also remembers glancing up into his eyes just then and making eye contact with him after everyone had left the room…and that's when she saw it. It was that one emotion he never exhibited for any partner before. His eyes sparkled with trust and admiration and it was that night that she went to Deakins and withdrew the letter. It was that day that something had changed between them. Alex knew then that Bobby finally trusted her and she was well aware of the fact that trust was hard to come by when it came to Robert Goren. Now, eight years later she was still with her corky partner and she knew that he made her a better person. Her father even told her that once. He realized that Bobby would never hurt her intentionally, but even more so, he realized that he would always protect her. John Eames slept better knowing that.

"Something doesn't feel right." Alex finally whispered after what seemed liked hours of daydreaming about the past.

Her father surveyed her but had no intention of speaking just yet. He didn't need to ask the topic of conversation.

"It's too soon…" To leave him alone. "I need to…" See him. Her voice faded before she could finish either statement.

Alex's distress was shown just then; she had despair in her eyes and her father could've sworn he heard fear in her voice. He didn't need to ask what she was fearful of.

"Go to him, Alex." Her father replied and pulled her in for a hug.

After a few seconds Alex pulled back from the hug and looked into her fathers eyes in amazement. She saw a smile on her fathers' lips and she weakly matched it. She quickly hugged him one more time, said goodbye to her family, and then left. There was no need to explain her behavior or quick departure; more than likely everyone already knew.

The drive back to her home wasn't long. She wanted to stop by to change, but mainly to grab an overnight bag. She knew no matter what Bobby said, no matter how much he may scream and yell at her, she was still staying the night as his apartment. She needed to be with him. She couldn't possibly know what was going on inside his head, but she had a bad feeling about it.

Something was off this morning. He sounded…different. I shouldn't have left him alone. I just know I shouldn't have…

After quickly packing up a few necessities, she made her way to the front door. She quickly locked it and was in such a hurry she almost missed the note that was now on the ground in front of her door outside. She couldn't believe she'd missed it when she got home. She looked at it briefly and then quickly scooped it up and ran to her car. She was too worried about Bobby to be concerned with an unaddressed envelope.

If only she knew what it entitled.

Alex didn't dare count the traffic violations she committed on the way over to Bobby's. She didn't care; she just needed to get to him. It was a gut feeling telling her to go to him and she'd always relied on it. She tried to call him once on his cell phone but it went straight to voicemail. That only made her drive faster.

Relax. She kept telling herself. He's probably just sleeping…

Once in front of his place, she noticed there were no parking spots. She then noticed an older couple walking to their car and decided to wait for them.

While waiting for the older couple to pull out, she spotted the envelope out of the corner of her eye. It was sitting on the seat of her car, next to her purse where she had tossed it. Noting that the older couple was just getting into their car, she turned her blinker on and then went back to the letter. She wondered who it was from. She never guessed it would be from Bobby. She slowly opened it and got as far as her name when she heard someone honking. She set down the letter, trying as hard as she could not to flip the person off behind her whom was honking, and pulled into the spot. Once she shut the engine off, she went back to the letter. It began with, 'Alex.' It wasn't long. She scanned it quickly, but when she saw the words "I'm so sorry" and "Love Forever, Bobby" on it towards the end, she quickly exited her car and raced up towards his apartment.

"Oh god, no. No, no, no. Bobby, don't you dare." She whispered to herself as she climbed the stares just as he did. It was faster than waiting for the elevator.

Bobby, please, please don't do anything stupid. I don't know what I'd do if I ever lost you…

Once she got to the third floor, Alex looked down the hallway and saw his apartment door. It looked to be miles away. She ran towards it as fast as she could. Once there, Alex started to pound on the door with all her might. She reached for the door handle while crying out his name and practically fell through the threshold when the unlocked door swung open.

A/N: I know I'm evil for leaving it there. I'm having surgery tomorrow morning [Friday] on my ankle and wanted to update before then, so bare with me for the next update. I guess I could update when I'm stoned and blame the spelling and grammar errors on the meds. LMAO.

Quick note, I like the name John Eames. My dads name is John, so I just decided to use that name (shrugs). Also, obviously I made up the reasons why Alex submitted that letter. We all remember the episode and we all have our opinion about it. Lord knows I do! Anyway, I just thought that tied in nicely, so I added it.

Anyway, the next chapter will be a short and shift back to Bobby. Thanks for reading (smiles). I wonder who actually went and looked at that website...? (Looks around to see if anyone's raising their hand). LOL

Thanks for the reviews.

-Snyder-