Doubt and Fear

Disclaimer: Own nothing besides Tenma and Tenshi do I.

AN: Sorry for not updating in a while. I've posted the official updating on my profile, if anyone is interested. Nothing else to say, besides that I've been extremely depressed lately. R&R if so inclined.

Cool, light rain fell on blood red hair. The owner of the hair was running away from the crowd of ten year old boys throwing rocks at her, desperately trying not to cry. Tears threatened to spill from the celadon eyes.

"Don't come back, you demon freak!" one of them yelled after her.

Tenma ran and ran until her legs gave out underneath her and she went sprawling into the sand. She lay there, not moving as silent tears fell from her eyes. Slowly, she pushed herself up, sniffing heavily. Wiping her tears away fiercely, she ran deeper into Suna.

Swiftly, she grabbed some vines and climbed up the wall of a building. On the roof, she relaxed. This was her hiding place. Her haven. Only Tenshi knew about it. She couldn't keep anything secret from her angelic brother.

A mile away, someone else stood on a roof, remembering all the better memories there had been on there. Remembering every word that he had said. Remembering all the stupid things she had said. Trying so hard not to cry.

Mother like daughter. Both trying so hard not to let out the tears that threaten to fall. Both trying not break. Being strong is so hard. Acting whole when inside it's all crumbling apart.

Hinata closed pearly eyes and one hand gripped her hair in a tight grip. The lump in her throat was so big, but still she would not cry. All she could do was shoulder the pain with what little grace she was left with.

"Why?" she managed to say through trembling lips. "Why?'

Someone tapped Tenma on the shoulder. She was curled up, protecting herself the only way she knew how. She didn't look up, already knowing who it was.

Tenshi sat down next to her, placing an arm around his younger sister. The two five year olds sat in silence, both wondering why the world was so cruel. No answer came to them. Despair fell upon them, consuming the two. They were so young and already subjected to so much pain.

The angel-child often wondered how he could help her. He knew instinctively that he had to save her from herself. From the anger that lay chained inside of her. He had to save her from the corruption that would spring and sink its teeth into her, never letting go.

His mother saw the same things. She was worried, but it was not as all consuming as her son's. She knew that Tenma would make her decision when the time came and there would be nothing anyone could do about it.

Tenma tried to clear her mind, to forget, but she kept remembering. The boys throwing rocks at her, her mother sobbing in the forbidden study. All the things she feared.

Time had closed the memories forever more. The ones the twins wanted to know. One day, fate would open them.

But, for now, the red sun would rise on another day. Another day of ignorance. Of fear.

"Hinata, are you going to be all right?"

"Hinata, are you okay?"

"Hina-chan, what's wrong?"

"Hina-chan, come inside. It's getting cold."

"Hinata, what's going on?"

Ever since Gaara's death, that's all she ever heard. Words that meant nothing. Words that could never bridge the deep pit of sorrow that his death had created.

A fallen angel still she was. But, broken now. He had broken her and left behind in his wake, a broken angel. A shattered shell that could never be fixed. A torn and ripped heart that could never be put back together.

Always, the angel was holding back her tears. Always the demon-child held back her tears. Two people so similar and yet so different by their nature, trying to find strength that neither of them had.

Between the two stood the angel-child. Always he was trying to bridge the distance between his angel mother and demon sister. Such a heavy burden for a young boy, despite his stasis. Strength was all Tenshi had to his name.

-

The twins turned six a week later, in early spring. The desert was slowly warming up from an extremely mild winter. Hinata had fallen even more into an emotional slump, but hid it well from Tenma and Tenshi. Temari, Kankuro, and Shikamaru saw through her disguise, but did not mention it. Maybe time could heal even wounds that deep.

Hinata smiled faintly as she watched Tenma and Tenshi help decorate the dining room. They argued animatedly, good natured.

She realized how blessed she truly was. She had lost him, but she had their children in collateral. They were the only reason she hadn't killed herself. They were the only reason she hadn't spiraled completely into herself.

A knock on the door broke through her reveries. Pushing back her indigo hair, she opened the door. The man smiled carelessly as he handed her a letter. She paid him no mind, she could never think of loving anyone else, and closed the door in his face.

The blood drained from her face as her pearly eyes flew across the page. Biting her lip so hard that blood was drawn, the angel leaned against the front door, sliding down to the ground.

Traces of thoughts ran across her mind. Why now? Why now? But, she had to put them from her mind. She would deal with them later. Maybe time would change it all.

In her heart, she knew otherwise.

But, when she entered the dining room only moments later, her small smile was back in place. Tenma and Tenshi did not realize that anything was wrong with their mother. They rushed over to her, huge grins on their faces, as they showed her all that they had done. Hinata's smile grew larger despite herself. Without Tenshi and Tenma, she would be lost.

Doubt did not completely leave her mind though. Still, it lingered. Doubt and fear.

AN: Well, I'm not too thrilled with the chapter. I can't capture the same style right now. I'll get it under control by next chapter. I felt that this was a little filler-ish, which it really was in retrospect. I needed to get some things in. Well, review if so inclined.