I jumped out of bed, left my hair how it was, messy, frizzed, and down. I didn't care, it fit my mood. My mother was quiet on the sofa, she looked up and I gave her a glance back, but she didn't ask questions when I walked out the door. Maybe she was wallowing in guilt about my father; I hoped so, but not my problem.

It was chilly out, when I shut the door I saw the wind blow five leaves around in a circle, just five, like us. I hurried past and noticed the dim light and looked up. It was a clear night, a crescent moon, and some stars out. I'd never been into astronomy or spirits much, but I looked up now, and I hoped, I thought of Caryn, and I did believe she was up there somewhere, safe, no worries, and watching us now. It really did give me some hope that maybe things were going to be alright. I kept walking to the hospital. I knew the rooms my friends were in and the nurses knew about us, so I just nodded to them, who nodded back, though with wary, uncertain faces. They knew we were good kids, but they couldn't quite understand the story we'd given them. I gave a wry smile and snort; they wouldn't believe or want to know the reality of everything. I hung my head and walked to Zak's room. I needed to see him first. I didn't know what would be said, but I had to at least see him, apologize, even if he and Rachael never forgive me for this. Zak was injured because of me, but he hadn't asked questions, just like Rachael, who was facing interrogation by the police, again because of me, and she, too, had not asked questions. I owed them the safety of the friends I still had, and mine, but had completely endangered them almost without a thought. I looked up. I was two rooms away. I paused for a few seconds, and shut my eyes and took a deep breath, and then walked to his room. I paused in the doorway with, I could tell, a terrible face of sorrow and guilt and apology. Rachael was there, Zak was asleep. I wanted to turn around and run, but I had to at least apologize, say the words, even if they didn't accept or listen. I saw Rachael look up at me away from Zak and saw her face tighten, but then it relaxed into a face of acceptance, dare I believe forgiveness, but not intimidating, inviting me to say what I needed. I gave a small nod and walked five deliberate steps into the room. I didn't sit down.

"Rachael," I whispered, tightly, "I'm so sorry. That doesn't begin to cover it or make it okay, but thank you, and I'm, I'm sorry," I cried. "I…should have never…," I looked at Zak, "this is my fault. I asked for your help without giving you the slightest explanation, and you agreed, and look what happened because of it. I can't… words can't cover the apology I owe you and even then, it's not enough, I know, but I am incredibly thankful for what you did for me, for my friends, and so incredibly sorry for the consequences of it. I'm so sorry." I hung my head, tears in my eyes, and was ready to turn to leave. I looked at her, and her face was pained, but quiet. I turned to leave.

"Sammi," she said, quietly, pained. I stopped but didn't turn around.

"Sammi," she said again, quietly, gently, "come here".

I turned around and looked up. She was waiting, her hand patting the floor. I owed it to her, to do whatever she asked of me, I would do everything and anything she ever asked of me. I could never repay the trouble and pain I'd caused her. I walked over.

"Rachael, if, if there is ever, anything you need, that you would trust with me, just ask and I'll do it. It's the least I can do."

She smiled gently and started fingering through my hair, like my mother used to, starting to braid it. I let her. We were both quiet. When she was finished she took a rubber band and let it snap into my hair, then turned me to face her.

"Samantha, I don't regret it. If I hadn't, what would have become of you, of your friends? He would have still had control over them. You needed help, and you were trapped. Should you have given me more information? Yes. Would I have believed you? Maybe if I you saw your face, heard the terror in your voice, but just on its own, I can't be certain that I would have. Then what would I have done, when I realized everything you said was true, and maybe I could have helped? Zak will be fine; my shop can be rebuilt, if I have problems with the police, okay. If you want to help, you can work rebuilding the shop. I should ask, if you forgive me, for taking your tattoo that far. It seemed like you wanted me to, reluctantly, of course, but you told me how to stall, I didn't. I think I should have. I guess we all have things we should have done and apologies to make, but we did what we could think of when we did. We didn't have time to think, but it will be okay. I forgive you, if you forgive me as well."

I looked at her, shocked, that she saw it that way, and that she could forgive me just like that. "Of course, of course I forgive you. Don't blame yourself about the tattoo, they would have just, I don't even know, but you didn't have the choice to stall, and you didn't finish it, and I will absolutely help you with the shop, I owe that much, at least, to you."

"Then let's leave it at that. Thank you. We can't focus on should have's. It's in the past and we did what we did. Now, let us just work on fixing the things that need to be fixed." I nodded.

"Are you okay, Sammi?"

"I've been better, but we won't let it go, but it won't destroy us either."

"Be careful," was her only reply.

"Anybody care about me?" came the question from the bed. Rachael rolled her eyes and smiled, shaking her head. Zak had opened his eyes and sat up slowly. Why did I get the feeling he hadn't really been sleeping. I opened my mouth to apologize to him, but he didn't give me the chance.

"Of course, Rachael forgives you, and so do I, so don't worry about it, before you even start. Rachael is absolutely right. Sure, some more information would have been nice, but we might not have believed you, and then it would be our fault for anything that would have happened to you. I'll be fine, but you're my little cousin, and if you're in trouble, I always say you can come to me. That's what you did. And I'll help you with that psychopath too because no way am I allowing you to face him alone on your own, I don't care what he could do, or about any rationalizations about how it probably won't make much difference, despite age or whatever, because I don't care. The guy doesn't belong in the public and he hurt all of us and killed your friend, almost killed us. He is a murderer, among many other things, and before you ask, if you're still not sure, I forgive you and it's not your fault and I won't hear anything of it being so. If I remember, you were the one who was sane in the first place and backed out."

"Well," he raised an eyebrow, daring me to say sorry, because, obviously he didn't want one, but I had to, "Fine, but sorry, and ok, thank you," I said quickly. Zak laughed.

"I'll be out of here in no time. Don't worry about us. We'll take care of the authorities, you guys just take care of yourselves, hear?"

I nodded. "Good," he said.

"Thank you, though, Sammi" Rachael, said, from the chair.

"Of course, thank you." Rachael opened her arms, inviting. I took the invitation and we embraced.

"Hey, over here," Zak called, his arms open, too. I was cautious, because of his side, but agreed, carefully, gently hugging him high. He patted my back and I pulled up, smiling thankfully.

I sat with them for a little bit till a nurse came to check on Zak, then I mentioned I should go, thanking them again, and they nodded. That was enough for tonight.