part i-a; la llorona
naruto
It says 80.4. It's not going down. Why won't it go, down? It hasn't gone down in three days.
You're not trying hard enough. Failure isn't an option, you know this.
I have to try. I won't be a failure. As long as that scale keep decreasing, everything's fine. I'm okay. I'll be alright. I'm in control. I'll increase my running by two hours and I'll double up on my rips for sit ups, crunches, pushups, jumping jacks, curls, leg lunges--anything that I have to do, anything to get that scale down. I'm going to do it.
You better be.
xXx
I opened my eyes slowly, looking to my left, and then gazing lazily to my right. With a loud yawn, I stretched my legs, arching my back off of my seat, before falling back into it and slumping down. There were three things that registered in my sleep fogged mind the minute I woke up.
One, my face felt slightly sun burnt.
Two, my seat belt was choking me.
Three, I was freezing.
Yes, I was freezing. Never mind the early evening sun of June, that was blazing overhead, its stifling heat very well burning into everything that could withstand it's rays. It was boiling outside and inside the car, and I was cold.
I groaned in irritation over my current position and how I was feeling. The world spun slightly before my eyes as I pushed myself forward a bit in my seat. I ignored the dizziness, reaching over to fix the seat belt from around my neck and pushing it down so that it rested properly over my collarbone. My mouth and throat felt parched, like I had eaten a mouthful of fucking sand or something. I swallowed a few times, trying to wet my mouth to lessen the painful dryness that I felt. My neck was stiff from sleeping in that position for so long, and my upper back was killing me.
"So now you decide to wake up?"
"Mmm." I mumbled, looking up at Jiraiya—my grandfather—and then looking away from him. I crossed my arms, leaning my head against the interior of the car to catch the breeze that was rushing by the partially opened window on my side of the car. "I can't believe Dad even trusted you enough to get me out here."
He muttered something under his breath about me complaining too much and to be grateful that he was bringing me out here or he was gonna leave me on the highway shoulder or something.
Old people, I swear.
I turned away from my grandfather, shifting my view to look back out at the scenery that we were passing by. It was nothing special, overgrown trees and few random houses, and tons of wide expansive roads and skies. It had taken us a little over an hour to get out here, most of which, I had slept through.
It was a miracle I had slept at all when I did. I had spent the entire night, tossing and turning and sleeping no longer for twenty minute intervals. That's how on edge I had been.
Maybe (definitely) because I didn't want to leave and head for the place I was currently headed to. I had fought my father's decision for the past two weeks, believe me, I tried. I had whined, threatened, argued, screamed, yelled, fought and annoyed him in the best ways I knew how, but his will, just like that of tempered steel, wouldn't budge.
I had even tried to get Jiraiya to reason with him, but for some reason, I think he was on the same team as my dad. As many times as he had told me, he was 'the neutral party', I knew deep down that he was on my father's side with this whole thing. Both of them were in this together, and so I was determined to be just as difficult with him in these last instances that we were together, like I had been with my father earlier this morning.
And so, that's how I came to be stuck in Jiraiya's shitty old car which was probably built before the existence of time, on my way to hell.
Wait, correction, this was a place that was supposed to help me.
That's all I kept hearing out of anyone's mouth nowadays. That I needed help, and they were going to see to it that I got it. It wasn't my decision, they were making it for me, and if I didn't like it, then tough.
I sighed loudly, staring at the radio as I uncrossed and then crossed my arms over my chest again. I turned to look at Jiraiya, my eyebrows drawn inwardly. "I don't understand why you just don't buy a whole new car all together. The radio doesn't even work. How the hell do you expect people to even have a somewhat comfortable ride if the RADIO doesn't work?"
"Because I usually don't have ANNOYING KIDS with me when I drive it." He snapped back.
I ignored him, rolling my eyes. "Don't understand why you just didn't take one of Dad's cars. He's got two. He even left you the keys for the G6 before he left for work this morning."
He ignored me, not bothering to put up with an argument. Jiraiya knew me too well for my own good. He knew why I was doing this. I'm not exactly known for being the most cooperative of people, and it was definitely showing now.
With good reason, I'd make them regret this.
Jiraiya hit his right signal as we got off the highway, which by the way was broken. It's a miracle we didn't get pulled over by the cops. We drove down the long, winding road, passing into town, and then out, down some long winding road, and finally across a bridge. Across it—our destination.
It looked to be a double level brick building, with a winding circle driveway. There was a large painted mural on the front of the building that extended into an upper level part which held no windows. In the front of the winding circle, there was a fountain, with a silver plaque in front of it. Scrawled across the plaque in horrible, black writing were the following words; Konoha Hills Residential Treatment Facility.
Jiraiya took the car around the winding circle, pulling up in front of the automatic doors, parking the car and turning it off. He didn't look at me, neither I, him, as he got out so he could get my luggage from out of the trunk.
I slunk back into my seat, closing my eyes as I rested my head against the head rest, feeling a headache beginning to form. The car jostled slightly as Jiraiya slammed the trunk shut and I heard him rolling my luggage around to my side of the car. I could feel him looking at me expectantly without even opening my eyes.
They're messing everything up, aren't they, kit?
Yeah.
I opened my eyes slightly, glancing at the side mirror to see Jiraiya looking down at me, my orange duffel bag slung over his shoulder. I turned to look at him, briefly, glanced at the automatic doors behind him and then turned away from him, closing my eyes again. "I'm not going in there."
"Of course you are." He said, his tone stern, "I'm not taking you back home, so it's either you get out here or you can sit in my car for the rest of the summer, your choice. I don't have anywhere to be."
I crossed my arms defiantly, "Why not just send me back to that shrink that I used to see when I was twelve, huh? Wasn't something wrong with me back then, too?"
"Things were different back then, and if I'm not mistaken, your father did send you back to that therapist. In your case, this isn't something that can be fixed by seeing a therapist on a weekly basis, Naruto." He said, dropping my duffel bag to the ground, crossing his arms also.
Now I needed fixing. Of course I did. In everyone else's eyes, at lease. "Yeah, because I'm just one big problem, aren't I?" I snapped, narrowing my eyes at him.
With that, I knew I was trying his patience. He yanked open the door on my side. "Naruto, enough is enough. Now let's go, out of the car. Get out here, now."
Don't worry, it'll be okay.
I looked at him as he stood outside the door, staring dead at me as he expected me to budge from my seat and finally step outside. Begrudgingly, I unbuckled my seat belt, letting it clatter loudly against the chair as I stepped out onto the pavement and brushed past Jiraiya. He sighed as I walked past him, muttering something in relief under his breath. Once again, he picked up my duffel, grabbed my rolling suitcase and gestured for me to walk ahead of him and into the building.
Once inside the building, Jiraiya walked straight past me and up to the front desk to address the woman sitting behind it. I wound my fingers tightly into the worn fabric of my orange hoodie, as I dug my dulled fingernails into the palms of my hands. My heart was thudding heavily against my rib cage as I glanced about me.
"Let's see… Naruto Uzumaki, is it?" She asked, flipping through a clipboard. "Ah, yes, here we go. Naruto Uzumaki, checking in for the summer session, is he?" She looked away from Jiraiya, to glance at me for a brief second and the nodded. "Here you go, I need you to sign these forms for me and then we'll get someone to show you to his room so he can go get situated."
Jiraiya dropped the duffel to the ground as he leaned over on the desk in front of him, filling stuff out. The lady said something to him about him taking a seat if he wanted, but he merely smiled and laughed loudly, saying something flirty to her, in which she blushed.
He could never stop being a lecherous pervert no matter where we he went. It was embarrassing. I rolled my eyes, sitting down in a seat not too far away from the desk. My eyes trailed over the interior of the room.
It was white, everything was too damn white.
And I hated. I hated it so much.
The smell, the look, the feel, just everything about this place was setting me on edge. And cold, it was so damn cold in here. I would my fingers around the fabric of my hoodie once more, rubbing my arms. I couldn't help but feel like I was being watched, despite me, Jiraiya and the woman behind the desk being the only people in the area, and they were barely focusing on me.
"Naruto," Jiraiya called to me, and I looked at him warily. "Come here, I need you to sign this."
I got up, still rubbing my arms as I walked over to him. He pointed to where I was supposed to sign with a pen. I grabbed it from him, scribbled my name out on the solid line, before pushing the clipboard right back over to him. He looked it over briefly, and then pushed the clipboard back over to the woman who in turn flipped through the pages briefly and then nodded, smiling at me, then at him.
"You're all set." She got up, pushed a button to her left and said into the intercom, "I've got another one for you, Gai."
Jiraiya looked at her, then at me and asked, "Am I allowed to come with him, or …?"
"I'm sorry, but to respect the privacy of our other residents, we ask that family members and friends not be allowed in the residence quarters for patients during non visiting hours or days. I really wish I could, but its protocol." She said, her face dropping slightly. "However, our staff is accommodating and will help him get situated with the upmost of ease."
"I see." He dropped the duffel bag to the ground, and turned to me, his face solemn, but his eyes belied his true emotion. "Naruto." He started, then stopped, then sighed, laying a heavy hand on my shoulder and squeezed it gently. He frowned slightly, looking me up and down.
"Come on; spit it out, old man." I said.
"Don't be too difficult, if at all possible. I'll see you in a couple of weeks, Naruto." He said finally, looking at me sternly. After a minute, he quirked a slight smirk and ruffled my hair with his right hand. "So troublesome." He murmured, turning away from me, the smirk still on his face.
And with that, he left.
xXx
"It's not too big a place here," Gai said, as we rode up in the elevator to the second floor of the building. "You're youthful; you'll find your way around in no time!"
"I bet," I replied. This guy was a bit too enthusiastic. I didn't mind too much, but he was just …a bit odd.
As the elevator chimed, and opened up to the second floor, we turned left and began walking down a white hallway with doors on each of its side. "This is the boy's wing," He said leaning in a bit too close for comfort, "As you can see; only boys reside here."
And a bit redundant, too. "Uhm …yeah."
"Which means no girls are allowed over here. I understand the youth today …and those unbridled emotions, but here, we must keep those emotions in check or face dire consequences, am I right?" Gai asked, turning to look at me.
"Yeah." I said, not really paying any more attention to his off handed comments.
He stopped in front of a white door and I looked up at it just as he pointed to it. "I see they were already expecting you, huh?" He pointed toward a piece of rectangular construction paper that had been tapped to the door. On it, my name was written in thick, black marker. There was a second name above my own, but he was blocking it with his hand. He knocked twice on the door, waited a minute and then practically threw open the door so hard, that the knob banged on the wall and the door whined a bit as it came back slightly and stilled. "And this is your roommate, Sasuke Uchiha!"
There, on the bed by the window sat a boy with the palest skin I'd seen in my life and dark hair to contrast against it. He was covered head to toe in navy and black, blending in with the simple décor of the room. He looked up slowly from the book he was reading, completely ignoring Gai and turning his attention to me.
It was one of those looks that you could never forget, no matter how hard you tried. His eyes were dark, almost as black as his hair, and despite being expressionless, I felt like he was burning me whole with just his gaze alone. They were haunting and had a weary look to them.
"Sasuke, this is Naruto Uzumaki, your roommate!" Gai exclaimed, dumping my duffel onto the vacant bed by the door, and then left the room to go retrieve my other suitcase.
I waved shyly at Sasuke, not exactly sure how to approach him. He just gave off this vibe that just screamed—leave me the fuck alone, I want nothing to do with you. He didn't say anything, to me, but merely ran a hand through his hair and went back to reading the book that was currently balanced between his thighs.
Bastard.
With my other suitcase in the room, Gai clapped his hands together, and retrieved a pair of latex gloves from his back pocket. "All right! Let's see what you've got in here. Naruto, you can have a seat right over there next to Sasuke's bed for a moment. I've gotta check your bags for anything that this place would consider contraband."
Contraband? Was he serious? "As in?" I asked, taking a seat in the chair by the window, a few feet away from Sasuke's bed. I drew my knees up to my chest, watching as Gai began with my duffel bag. I looked to Sasuke for some sort of help, but he ignored me as usual, flipping a page in his book.
"Medicine's not approved by the facility, sharp objects such as razor blades, pens and pencils, cameras, cell phones, videos, DVD's, certain body products." He instructed me, as he unzipped the duffel bag and began to sift through my stuff. "Anything the facility would deem unsafe to you, or those around you that would be detrimental to your treatment."
I sighed, falling back into the chair as I let my legs drop down to the floor and watched Gai dismantle my bag. Sasuke remained quiet in all of this, keeping his focus on his book, not even bothering to acknowledge me in the whole down time that we had. After about twenty or so minutes, Gai took a folded piece of paper out of his pocket when he was done, wrote something down on it and then turned to me. In his hand he had my toothbrush, a razor and a few other bottles with him. He'd also taken away my cell phone, ipod and wallet in the process.
"All right, Naruto, you're all set! I'll be leaving this stuff with the nurse on this floor to lock up. If you ever need any of it, her desk is right across from the elevator." He reached for the knob, "Dinner's in a half hour so I'll let you start getting situated. Sasuke should know where the dining room is, he can show you how to get there. If not, a nurse always comes around to round up everyone to make sure they're where they have to be." He grinned, giving me a thumbs up, "See you around!"
I sighed, getting up out of my seat and walking over to my bed. Gai had left some of my stuff out all over my bed; I guess it was alright in the long run. Gave me an easier time of just throwing shit in drawers than having to pull stuff out and sort it out myself. I didn't feel much like putting my stuff up right away, so I took an armful of what was on the bed, and dumped it into my orange duffel bag at the foot of my bed. I sighed, sprawling out on the bed. It wasn't too bad, the mattress was slightly stiff, but it was a decent bed. I turned on my side, turning to look at Sasuke who was still seated as he had been when I first arrived.
"Do you talk at all?" I asked, looking at him.
He didn't respond, turning another page in his book and keeping his expression stoic.
Was I talking to a wall?
"Hello. I'm not talking to the wall. I'm talking to you, Sasuke. What are you, mute?"
Sasuke looked at me again, his eyes stilling holding that vacant, haunting look. After what seemed like the longest time, he shut the book he was reading, sitting it on the nightstand between our two beds. I watched him extend his legs off the bed, sticking his feet into the black slippers at the base of his bed and stood up. He walked away from his bed, without casting a second glance at me and opened the door to leave the room.
"Wait a minute!" I yelled after him, scrambling off my own bed and dashing out the room after him. What was this guy's problem? "Come back here! I wasn't done talking to you!"
"So you're, Naruto."
I turned around, finding a boy around my height with short brown hair and wild, piercing brown eyes. "And you are …?" I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Kiba," He started, grinning wildly, "Kiba Inuzuka. Sorry if I freaked you out or something. I saw them put your name on the door a few days ago, figured it wouldn't be too long before you arrived."
I nodded. Okay, this wasn't too unnerving then. Guess I'd be a bit curious to see who I'd meet in a place like this, too.
Kiba continued, stretching his arms out behind his head, "Can't say I feel too lucky for you being roommates with Uchiha, that guy's a weirdo. He just arrived a few days ago and hasn't said a word since he got here. He just stays holed up in his room reading all day and night unless we've got group or something."
"Group?" I asked.
"Yeah, group therapy. You'll probably hear all about it sometime soon tomorrow since you just got here." He shrugged, looking behind me. Following Kiba's line of vision, I saw two other boys heading in our direction, Kiba appeared to have known them because he was waving them over and gesturing at them to come toward us. "Shikamaru, Choji, hurry it up! You know how packed the dining room can get at dinner. It's the only decent meal in this place."
The slimmer of the two walking toward us sighed, as the larger one spoke up, "The foods not so bad here. But I'll agree with Kiba, dinner always seems to be the best meal for some reason."
"Who's this?" The slimmer one asked.
"Oh yeah, this is Naruto. He just arrived a little while ago." Kiba pointed at me, and then gestured toward the other two boys, "Naruto, that's Shikamaru, and this is Choji."
I nodded to each of them, as they reciprocated my gesture.
"Stuck here for the summer too?" Shikamaru asked, his perpetual look of laziness and boredom, never once leaving from his face.
"Forced here." I said. "It wasn't my choice."
"Welcome to the club. You're in the same boat as the rest of us." Shikamaru shrugged, "Guess we've got to make the best of it."
"Yes, yes, alright. Now enough stalling. Choji, I already know you'll agree with me, but can we get downstairs already before the food gets cold?" When Shikamaru just shrugged, Kiba turned to look at me, "Right, Naruto?" His eyes were large and expecting. As much as I wanted to say, no, I just shrugged, letting a hesitant smile cross my face.
"Yeah, dinner, can't wait."
xXx
My mind started calculating the minute I sat down with my plate.
The rice was white, long grained, and it looked to be a cup and a half on my plate, so I'm guess it was about three hundred and ten calories. I had about half a cup of broccoli, twenty six calories. The chicken was baked, without the skin, but it was still covered in sauce. That could have been anywhere from two hundred to six hundred calories, or more at that. All for a grand total of anywhere between five hundred and thirty six to …almost …almost one thousand calories. I wasn't pleased. I was absolutely disgusted, and I felt the overwhelming need to throw up right then and there and I had barely eaten anything.
I began to look around me, immediately looking for a way out of this. There were staff stationed everywhere, all seemingly monitoring the events of what was going on in the dining room. One met my gaze, nodded at me and smiled. I instantly turned away, looking back down at the plate before me.
"So what are you in here for?" Kiba asked me suddenly, his mouth full of pizza.
I paused, looking up from my food which I had been separating and dividing into smaller subdivisions around my plate. "What?"
"You know, why'd you get sent here." Chouji said, absent mindedly, not exactly looking in my direction. His hands were tightly curled beside his plate and as I turned around I saw that he was looking toward the direction of the food line.
"Don't, Chouji." Shikamaru mumbled. He had picked at his pizza, but didn't seem too interested in eating it. He turned to look at me. "Naruto, if you're here, you probably, like everyone else here, have something wrong with you that someone decided was dangerous to either yourself, or those around you. In this place, it really doesn't matter if you tell anyone what's wrong with you or not, someone's bound to find out soon anyway." He sighed, propping his arm up on the table and reached over the table by my plate for a toothpick, "I tried to commit suicide a few weeks ago, currently being treated for depression."
Kiba pointed to himself, "I've got anger issues. Really …bad anger issues." He shrugged, "Personally, I don't think I've got a problem. Everyone else is just soft."
"Compulsive overeater." Chouji said. "And a bit of a bingeing disorder."
The three of them were looking at me expectantly and I fisted my hands into my hoodie, looking away from their gazes. "I …" I closed my mouth, and then was about to open it again, when a shrill female voice interrupted our conversation.
"Kiba!" The four of us all turned around at the same time.
Behind me stood a short blonde girl dressed in an oversized sweater, black leggings and grey flats. Her blonde hair was pulled into a high ponytail and she was holding something in her hand, which she mashed against Kiba's forehead the minute he turned around. "Can you please tell your freaking roommate to stop leaving these notes posted on my door? If he's into Sakura so much just tell him to go up to her and friggin talk to her! I'm sick of coming back to my room and finding my entire door covered in these stupid fucking post it notes!"
Shikamaru rolled his eyes, sighing and Chouji simply shook his head as Kiba ripped the post it note from off his head, looking down at it and then back up at the blonde girl, "Why don't you talk to Lee about it, Ino!" He snarled.
"Because he's annoying! And I know that if I go near him, I'll never stop hearing, 'tell Sakura I said this!' or 'tell Sakura I said that!', do you know how annoying that is?"
"Tch, you're one to talk." Shikamaru mumbled, looking away from her and across the dining room at someone.
"What was that, Shikamaru?" She asked, glaring at him. She glanced at Chouji and then looked down at me, "And who's this? Are you already corrupting someone new with your stupidity, huh, Kiba?"
"This is Naruto, he's Sasuke's roommate." Chouji said before Kiba got riled up, "Just arrived today."
I met her gaze just as she met mine. She quickly looked away, down at my plate; her eyebrows raised and then looked at me, and then back down at the plate. "Naruto, huh? Looks like we've got another Sai on our hands."
Kiba looked at me, frowned, and then back at her, "Ino, for the love of God, go antagonize someone else before I tell Iruka during group tomorrow, that I saw what you did with your food for lunch today."
She instantly paled at that, crossed her arms over her chest and looked away from him, "Whatever." And with one last look at me, she crossed the length of the dining room and went to go sit in-between two girls on the other side by the entrance. One with pink hair and sea green eyes and the other with pale eyes, almost as if she were blind and black hair. She said something to the two of them, and the one with pink hair looked my way. She smiled slightly at me, and I smiled back.
At least the people here seemed to be welcoming at least.
"Did she really throw her food out again?" Shikamaru asked Kiba, once Ino was out of earshot.
"I don't know, I was bluffing," Kiba said, shrugging and grinning, "But if she did, she just sold herself out."
Shikamaru sighed, turning away from Kiba who was currently laughing his head off and turned his attention to me. "You okay?" He asked, "You look a little pale."
I nodded, pushing my plate away. "Fine."
"Not hungry, Naruto?" Kiba asked, looking down at my untouched food. His tone was a bit softer from the one that he had used before.
"It's okay, they won't bother you on your first day." Chouji said. "Tomorrow though, just be prepared."
"Right." I mumbled, looking away from the three of them. I'm pretty sure from whatever Ino had said, the three of them had already figured out what was wrong with me without me even saying one word.
xXx
Sasuke was already in our room when I had gotten back from dinner. He was on his bed, having changed into pajamas and was reading that same damn book again. He didn't even acknowledge me when I came in, which was fine by me. If he was going to be a prick, then so would I.
I got ready for bed with Kiba, Shikamaru and Chouji in the boys bathroom, and afterwards said goodnight to them and headed back to my room after. Sasuke was even nice enough to leave the light off for me when I got back into the room. So fucking considerate.
I don't know what time they woke me up at the next day, but I could tell I hadn't gotten much sleep. In-between all the constant screaming of CHECKS and the door opening and closing all night, it was a miracle that I'd gotten to sleep at all. The door creaked open so that a small amount of light filtered in and someone was calling my name. "Naruto? Naruto?"
I rolled over, looking at the door. "Mmm?"
"Come with me, honey, it's time for your vitals."
Vitals?
I sat up slowly, with some effort and rubbed at my eyes, giving a jaw cracking yawn as I stared at the woman who was currently in the doorway. I turned to look at Sasuke briefly to see what he was doing. He was still asleep in his bed, back to me with the sheets pulled up over his shoulders. I turned back to the nurse, and cocked an eyebrow at her. "Vitals?"
"Come with me and I'll explain on the way." She stepped aside, opening the door a bit wider.
I sighed, taking some effort to gather myself up. I wrapped my orange flannel blanket around my body, and stuffed my feet into my slippers and stepped out into the brightly lit hallway, grimacing as the light assaulted my sensitive eyes. She closed the door behind me and signaled for me to follow her. I shuffled along quietly, closing my eyes and opening them ever so often.
"Since you're an eating disorder patient, every morning a nurse, usually me, my name is Shizune by the way, or Kurenai, you'll meet her eventually, will come to wake you up and bring you in to get your vitals taken. You know, blood pressure, weight—"
I stilled, tightening the blanket around myself at the mention of weight.
"…nothing too intrusive, it's just a measure to see …"
I wasn't listening. My mind was going into overdrive. It was too early for this; I didn't need this right now.
"…and Tsunade will be ready for you in a minute."
Shizune was looking at me expectantly to answer her and I stared at her for a minute before nodding. She smiled, walking away and down another hall and disappearing out of sight. There were a few people gathered outside of the office, a few wrapped in blankets, others sweaters or hoodies, looking just about as tired as I was.
I took a seat close by the examination door, ready for my name to be called at any minute. It would be just my luck that Ino would come down and sit next to me a few minutes later. Without the oversized sweater on, I saw the full extent of how skinny she was. You could see her bones protruding underneath her thin patient's gown, along with how skinny her arms and legs were. She looked so frail, as if she were going to snap and break at any minute.
The minute she saw me take a seat next to her, her perfectly arched eyebrows shot up and she grinned deviously. I knew this girl was trouble before she opened her mouth. "I knew it! I knew it from the moment I saw you last night at dinner you were one of us."
…One of us? I frowned slightly at her, "One of you?"
She completely ignored my question, taping a skinny finger against the top of her seat. "So what are you in for? Here I was thinking that Sai was going to be the only guy in here sticking his finger down his throat and starving himself, but it looks like we lucked out and—"
"Ino! Would you shut up for two seconds and stop discussing everyone business around here?" An irritated voice snapped from behind us.
I turned to look over my shoulder. It was the pink haired girl that had smiled at me from the night before. She was currently advancing toward the two of us, her hands on her hips and looking irritated. She turned to look at me, "You'll have to excuse my roommate. She can be a bit of a gossiping bitch at times. I'm sorry if she offended you in any way."
I shrugged, "None taken. We're all here for the same reason, right?"
Don't lump yourself in with the rest, kit.
"Just us," Sakura started, extending a hand to me, "Sakura."
"Naruto." I answered back.
"Nice to meet you." She said, "When did you arrive?"
"Last night," I answered, "I'm ...Sasuke's roommate."
Her eyebrows shot up a little and she giggled, "Sasuke, hm? No one has been able to get him to talk at all. Did he say anything to you?"
I sighed, exasperated. "No. I tried to talk to him, but no, he's a stupid, stuck up prick."
"Well …" Sakura said, rubbing the side of her face in thought, "I'm sure he has his reasons. Some people are just quiet."
I was about to respond, when a short blond woman with a more than ample bosom, and a gruff female voice called my name, "Naruto Uzumaki!" She looked around at everyone waiting to be examined. Nothing but girls, I stuck out like a sore thumb. "I take it that's you. Come on."
"That's Tsunade." Sakura whispered to me as I stood up, "Head doctor in charge of us, you know …the 'weight issues' group. She's not too bad, is this your first vitals exam?" She asked.
"Yeah," I replied, stopping myself for a second.
"It'll be a little nerve racking but once you get into the habit of going, it won't be too bad." She nodded, "Well, I'm going back to bed. I'll see you around, Naruto."
"All right." I nodded to her and then headed for the examination room.
Tsunade closed the door behind me as I entered. "You can drop your blanket on the chair over there. Take a seat on the examination table and I'll be right with you." Tsunade instructed, walking over to the side of the room where the counters were. She leaned over, writing something down on the clipboard she had with her.
"Naruto Uzumaki. Sixteen years old. Perviously diagnosed as ED-NOS, now suffering from Anorexia Nervosa." She started, turning around and leaning against the counter. Tsunade looked up at me, briefly then back down at my chart, then flipped through a couple of pages, "Interesting." She set the chart down on the counter behind her, and straightened up. "Okay, on the scale."
I stepped down off of the examination table, and crossed the expanse of the examination room to the scale she was standing by. She pressed a few buttons, and then nodded for me to step on.
It seemed like an eternity had passed before those numbers popped up below me. I looked down at the scale, something inside me swelling and feeling like it was going to burst. The scale blinked and beeped once, twice, and on the third time, my weight flashed across its surface; bright and red.
87.4lbs.
She looked at the scale, copying the number down. "Alright, come over here." She patted on the wall next to her, still scribbling down on her clipboard. "Back against the wall, please. Stand straight up."
I did as she said.
"Five feet, five inches." She turned away from me, turning to the clipboard again. "Alright, arms out." I did as she said, sticking my arms straight out for her. She turned them over, poking me a bit and squeezing my arms in examination. She twisted up her mouth, and then scribbled something on the clipboard. Next, she motioned for me to turn around, and said, "Lift up your shirt, please?"
I lifted up my black wife beater, waiting for the collective gasp that always happens when people see my body. It's always, "Oh my god, what happened," or, "I can see your bones, oh my god." But not Tsunade. I guess based on what Sakura said, she'd seen this too many times to be phased by it in any way that shocked her. I felt her hand press against my spinal cord, fingering its ridges and then her hand was gone.
"Take a deep breath," She said, and I flinched when I felt her press the stethoscope against my back. I took one deep breathe, and exhaled. "Again." She said. When I repeated the process, the cold metal was gone in a few seconds and she cleared her throat. "Put your shirt back on and sit on the examination table, please."
I took a step up and sat back down on the examination table. The next thing she did was take my blood pressure. The wrap puffed up, and she held the stethoscope against the inside of my elbow, listening briefly before unwrapping it and writing something down the results on her clipboard. She looked up at me, "89/56."
She followed through with checking my ears, eyes and mouth and then sat down on a chair opposite from me. Her hazel eyes were soft and stern. "How are you feeling, Naruto?"
I looked at her, "As in?"
"Just how are you feeling?" She said, "Angry, afraid, okay …safe?"
Far from safe, I thought, crossing my arms and lowering my eyes and looking away from her, "I don't want to be here. I don't need help, I'm fine. There's nothing wrong with me."
"A lot of you don't think there's anything wrong with you, but you know there is." She said, "I know you know there is, and until you can fully see it, we'll keep you here for as long as we can. We're only here to help, Naruto."
I looked at her incredulously. I didn't have to voice what I was thinking; she seemed to have already known. Yeah, right. Holding me hostage and forcing me to change my body for your liking, that was certainly helping me alright.
She wrote something else on her papers, "I'll be seeing you a bit later on today to discuss the full extent of your eating patterns so we can formulate a specialized meal plan for you. Until then, get some rest, you'll need it." She stood up, headed for the door and opened it for me, "You can go."
I nearly jetted out of the examination room as Tsunade opened the door for me and let me out back into the hallway where everyone was waiting. I drew my blanket in tightly around me, shutting my eyes tightly when I felt my vision growing blurry with each step that I took. I vaguely noted Ino saying something to me on my way out, but I paid her no attention.
I hadn't been in here for less than twenty four hours and already I wanted to scream. I fucking wanted out of this place, couldn't they see that? Couldn't anyone fucking see that?
One of the nurses that was stationed outside escorted me back to my room, nodding at me gingerly as she let me back into my room and closed it behind me once I was back inside. It was dark, but I could make out the hazy markings of the sun outside the pulled blinds and dark curtains that framed the only window in our room.
I got right back into my bed, not bothering to get back underneath the sheets, but wrapped myself up in my flannel sheet and buried my face into my pillow and shut my eyes as tightly as I could.
They were going to break me down in here. I was going to spend the next two and a half months, two painful and agonizing months reversing what I had dedicated so much time into. They were going to ruin everything and it fucking sucked, and I fucking hated it.
I clenched my teeth, when I felt something wet slide out from beneath my eyes, and shut my eyes even further, pulling my blanket up over my head and cocooning myself within it as I started to shake.
This was only the beginning.