Disclaimer: Nope. Still not mine.
As a kid, Jade West didn't like a lot of things. She didn't like flowers, for the simple reason that whenever they showed up in a vase in her house, it meant that her parents had been fighting and the flowers were a sort of peace treaty offered up by her father. She figured that out pretty early on in her life. Whenever she saw people giving flowers to someone they 'loved', she would always scoff and roll her eyes. Flowers died. They wilted. Petals fell off. It was a horrible symbol of love. Jade would watch the ones in her home, counting down the days until her mother threw them out. Counting down the days of peace until it was shattered again by her mother's yelling or, worse, her father's cold, disconnected, and quiet voice. And then a new bouquet would materialize in their place and the clock reset. The first time Jade's mom had gotten flowers from a new boyfriend, about a year after the divorce, her dislike turned into hatred. Jade had been furious when she saw them and cut up every petal in the bouquet with the sharpest pair of scissors she could find. Her mom's new relationship didn't last much longer than the flowers did. But, Jade didn't mind all flowers. She didn't mind the ones that grew naturally in the park. Especially the morning after a heavy rain, when she would lie in the grass, the smell of damp Earth filling her senses while her best friend pointed to the sky and tried to find shapes in the clouds. No, Jade didn't mind those wildflowers at all. It was really only the ones grown by florists and kept in cold, glass cases where their light was artificial and their air was stale and they'd be harvested and sold off to people under the guise of romanticism. Yeah, those were the flowers that Jade hated.
Jade's right leg was crossed over her left knee, the toe of her boot kicking the seat in front of her as her foot swung. Her arms were crossed over her stomach and she was slouching, trying to keep her eyes off the stage. It was proving hard to do, because Sikowitz said that part of their grade for this little 'project' was based on their critique of the other scenes. And she wasn't going to jeopardize her own grade, but she certainly didn't want to watch Tori fucking Vega stumble through five minutes of clumsy dialogue and even worse fake crying. She huffed, kicking the chair in front of her harder than she meant to. Beck reached over and rested his hand on her knee, trying to still her leg, but Jade smirked when she saw Robbie, who was supposed to be dead, crack an eye open and glance in her direction. There was a critique. The dead don't come back to life.
The scene ended and there was polite applause from the other students as Sikowitz strolled up to the stage. "Wonderful job. Cat, I felt the pain when the love of your life slowly slipped away from you." That elicited a huge eyeroll from Jade. "Now," Sikowitz turned to face the rest of the class, "who has some constructive criticism for our actors?" Jade's hand shot into the air and she heard Beck let out a small sigh next to her. She ignored him as Sikowitz nodded his head for her to speak.
"Shapiro broke character. He opened his eyes after he was already dead."
"Because you kicked a chair!" Robbie protested, sitting upright on the table that was supposed to be his hospital bed.
"Oh, really?" Jade leaned forward in her chair, holding his gaze with her own. "Are you sure it wasn't because you were a little too excited about Cat touching you?" Jade smirked as Cat squeaked and yanked her hands away from Robbie's stomach, where they had been resting.
Sikowitz held up his hands to silence them. "Jade has a point, even if she did say it in a shrewish way." He turned to Robbie. "When you're in a scene, however short or unimportant it may seem, you never ever break character. The building could be falling down around you, but the show must go on. You must live as your character lives, and if your character dies, Robbie, you must die with them."
"I wouldn't mind seeing that," Jade mumbled through a smirk, sitting back in her chair. Sikowitz ignored her comment and called on a few other students, who all said pretty much the same thing: the scene was really good, everyone was believable, blah blah blah. Jade sniffed and adjusted her legs, crossing the left over the right instead. Sikowitz dismissed the group on stage and called the next pair up. Jade turned her head, because staring at the small ink stain on Beck's backpack was preferable to accidentally making eye contact with Tori as she walked by. Fucking Tori Vega. Jade tossed her hair over her shoulder and tried to focus as the next scene started up. But she could feel eyes on her. It was a feeling she had grown, unfortunately, accustomed to the past couple of days. Whether it was in Sikowitz's class, or her screenwriting one, or just randomly in the hallways, Jade felt those brown eyes practically burning a hole in the side of her head. It was distracting and fucking weird. The only good thing was that after their encounter in the hallway on Tori's first day, the girl hadn't approached Jade again. It was a small victory, but she accepted it all the same. She felt the eyes leave her, and Jade breathed a little easier as she watched the rest of the scene playing out on stage. Beck was the first one to speak once it had finished. He said the dialogue was really good, but the motivations behind the scene seemed a little muddled. A relationship between the two players was never established, so he was left guessing about certain things. A few other people spoke up as well, and after a few minutes Sikowitz dismissed the pair. "Beck and the always effervescent Jade up next, please."
Jade trudged up the small set of steps, Beck instead just hopping right up onto the stage. Jade shot him a glare, silently telling him to stop showing off, as they took up their positions. "Whenever you're ready," Sikowitz announced with a slight bow. Jade closed her eyes, taking a moment to relax and get into character, and then she opened her them and gave Beck a small nod. He immediately launched into the scene, arms wild and flailing, verbally attacking her. Jade's entire body tensed as she took his abuse. It was just a scene, she knew that, but she'd be damned if Beck didn't make it feel real. Jade was partially aware of Cat's small gasp as she launched into a tirade of her own, matching Beck's volume and intensity. Jade pushed Beck's shoulders as she spit out her final line of the scene. Beck shoved her right back, and just like they had practiced, Jade stumbled back against the white board on the wall. Beck moved forward, intimidating for such a lean guy, and closed the space between them in two strides. He slammed his palms against the white board on either side of Jade's head, his face twisted and contorted in such anger that Jade barely recognized him. He practically growled out his next line, and then Jade's hand was fumbling along the metal rail along the bottom of the board as if searching for something. Her hand closed into a fist and she plunged it towards Beck's stomach, stopping just shy of actually punching him in the gut. Beck stumbled backwards, shock written all over his face and his hands dropping down to rest on his belly. He looked down, and then back up to Jade. She was shaking, and in the back of her mind she kept saying 'just a scene just a scene get through it', but the way her arms were vibrating was absolutely real. "You stabbed me," Beck gasped, his knees buckling as he collapsed to the ground. A strangled laugh, like he couldn't believe what had just happened, ripped through his throat. And then his body was slowly sinking to the ground.
"Well, that was certainly an interesting interpretation of the assignment," Sikowitz said as Beck got to his feet and Jade stepped away from the wall. "Before we take critiques, can I ask what inspired that scene?"
Jade folded her arms over stomach, shifting her weight so one of her hips cocked out to the side, and said, boredom dripping off her voice, "Domestic bliss." Sikowitz nodded slowly, almost confused, and started calling on students. Jade only half listened, not really caring what her peers thought. They didn't usually understand her performances, and from the tone in some of their voices, Jade thought they might have been even more scared of her than they were before. It wasn't until the owner of those brown eyes slowly raised her hand that Jade snapped to attention.
"I thought it was sad," Tori said slowly, seeming to mull over her words as she spoke. "I mean, obviously it's sad. But, deeper than just the surface of it, there's a sadness, y'know? Almost like it's expected that all love falls apart like that."
Jade didn't wait to hear any more. She jumped off the stage, barely pausing to grab her bag as she marched towards the door. "Jade, the bell hasn't rung yet," Sikowitz said. Jade spun on her heel to face him and lifted a finger to point at the ceiling. As soon as she did, a chime echoed through the room and she was off again, tearing open the door and storming out into the hallway.
As a kid, Jade West developed a duality about her. There was a part of her, the main part, which was a pretty normal kid. She shared the same seat on the bus everyday with her best friend. She lucked out that seats were always assigned alphabetically by last name at school, because it meant that Tori always sat right in front of her. It made it easy to pass notes in class, or for Jade to lean forward and whisper to Tori. They sat in the same seats at the same table in the cafeteria every day. And she always played during recess, whether it was tag with the rest of her class, or just finding a quiet corner by the swing set with Tori. But there was another part, a quieter part that existed when she was home. It was the part that heard her parents fighting, sometimes about her, sometimes about Tori, and sometimes about things she didn't understand. Her mom always seemed to find ways to bring Jade into the arguments, usually talking about how their arguing was affecting their daughter, sending her running for shelter and comfort at someone else's home, with someone else's parents. Arguing about their arguing. It was dumb and Jade hated it. It grew into resentment towards the both of them. She almost would have preferred if they had forgotten she existed at all, rather than drag her into their shit as another topic of argument. Although, after the divorce, they pretty much did forget about her. And it was around that time that the parts of Jade switched roles. The resentful, hating one taking prominence over the other, which seemed to have faded altogether.
Jade couldn't concentrate. Her pencil was tapping against the edge of the table she was sitting at, her eyes staring at the chalkboard but not seeing anything. She knew what the teacher was talking about was important, that she should really be focusing, but she couldn't. Tori. Fucking. Vega. Jade's pencil snapped and she chucked the broken half in her hand onto the floor with its fallen counterpart. Andre was sitting next to her, and when he saw the look on her face, he scooted his chair even further away. They were barely even sharing the small table anymore, Jade and her things sprawled out in a passively aggressive manner, and Andre trying his best to keep out of the way of her wrath. Jade's attention was brought back to the present when Andre raised his hand and asked a question. The final project. The teacher was talking about the final project for the class, worth twenty percent of their total grade, and Jade hadn't taken in a single word of it. Dammit, she thought, shoving a hand in her bag to look for another pencil. I'm gonna fail this class and it'll be entirely Tori Vega's fault. She quickly copied down everything on the board, paying particular attention to what the teacher was saying as she answered Andre. Jade huffed, her pencil scribbling furiously across the paper in her notebook. She felt Andre looking at her, and when Jade's eyes snapped up to his, he quickly looked away. She turned back to her notebook, her writing barely legible, and her hand shot in the air. "Yes, Jade?" the teacher asked. Jade stopped writing and looked up. "Do we have to sing it, or can we get someone else to?" The teacher sighed and leaned back against her desk. "I covered that already. You won't be graded based on how well you sing since this isn't a vocal class. Simply the lyrics, song structure and overall quality of the piece you present. Everyone must perform their own songs in front of the class," she emphasized. Jade nodded, the tip of her pencil digging into her paper as she made a note.
"You alright?" Andre whispered, leaning over.
"Fine," Jade snapped. He lifted his hands slightly and straightened up in his seat, deciding to leave her alone for the rest of class. Jade didn't even want to take a songwriting class. She liked singing, but it was an afterthought compared to her real interests, unlike Andre who seemed to live and breathe through writing and performing music. But for some stupid reason, this class was a prerequisite for the advanced screenwriting class she wanted to take next semester, so Jade just bit the bullet and suffered through it. The class seemed to drag on as the teacher answered more questions and gave them more information about the final project. Apparently, in addition to the live performance, they were required to turn in a recorded copy as well. "CDs are fine, but so are mp3s if that's easier," the teacher said as she wrote out an email address on the board. Jade copied it down, cursing this teacher. She didn't think any of her songs were good, and she was almost embarrassed at the fact that one of her creations would be immortalized in digital format. "If you need to use the school's audio lab, they have a sign-up sheet. If you need help with the equipment, I'm sure one of your fellow students would be more than glad to help you." Jade rolled her eyes and pressed her pencil so hard against the paper that the tip broke off. This project would be a fucking nightmare, and she couldn't stand how Andre was practically jumping for joy next to her. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. Right, well, obviously Andre would help her, whether he wanted to or not. This sort of thing was right up his alley, and in a completely different neighborhood from where Jade liked to be.
The bell rang and the teacher dismissed them all. Jade shoved her notebook back into her bag, dropping her pointless pencil in after it. She pushed her chair back and stood up, throwing the strap of her bag over her shoulder. She headed to her next class, math. Boring, and pretty damn annoying since Robbie always insisted on sitting next to her, his puppet propped up on the edge of his desk, those creepy, vacant eyes staring at Jade for the entire class. She didn't know how many times she would have to rip the thing's arms and legs off before Robbie finally got the message she didn't like him. But it seemed like no matter how much damage she inflicted on the puppet, Robbie would just bounce right back. She suspected he had some sort of masochistic crush on her. And if she kind of enjoyed watching his eyes go wide and his mouth drop open in shock as a limb was ripped off his tiny other half, then they both came out winners. In a twisted sort of way. After that was theater history, where she got to scowl at Sinjin every time he dared to turn around and look at her. It was like a really shitty game. Unless Sinjin actually looked scared. That could be kinda fun.
Jade finished her morning classes and headed for her locker. She chucked some books she wouldn't need into it, grabbed some for her afternoon classes, and then looked around the main hallway for Beck. As the hallway started clearing, most students heading out to the Asphalt Café for lunch, she had a suspicion that he had just gone straight outside with Andre. Jade scowled and crossed her arms. Going outside would most likely mean running into Tori, which is why she had spent the past few days with Beck during lunch. Monday she started a fight with him on purpose just so she could avoid the Vega girl. Tuesday she and Beck had stayed in the janitor's closet making up. Wednesday and Thursday Jade had made up an excuse about wanting to rehearse for Sikowitz's assignment and they had spent all of lunch in an empty classroom. It seemed like Beck had beaten her to the punch, though, on Friday and it was either completely segregate herself from the group, or join them and hope that Tori didn't say anything fucking stupid like she had during Sikowitz's class that morning. Dammit. Jade stomped her foot and headed down the hall, off towards the janitor's closet.
It had been years since she had last seen Tori Vega, and then the girl reemerged and managed to turn Jade's entire life upside down in the span of four days. It wasn't fair, and it gave Jade one more thing to add to the list of reasons why she resented her. Jade dropped onto the ground, aware of how graceless the action was as her bag thudded down next to her, but she couldn't bring herself to care. The janitor's closet was like her safe haven. A small place in this big school that she could always retreat to if she needed. So she bent her legs up, crossing her ankles and rested her chin on her knees as her arms wrapped around her legs. She probably should have used her free time to work on some of her assignments, or at the very least put some thought into her final project for her songwriting class, but Jade couldn't calm her mind down enough to focus on anything. Her brain was like a whirlwind of chaotic shit, most of which didn't make any sense. But mostly it was just thoughts about that fucking Vega chick, and then Jade's entire body went haywire, unfamiliar feelings pulsing through her veins. She didn't know why she told Tori she didn't remember her. No, that wasn't true. She knew why, she just had no way of describing it. Because she knew Tori, and Jade knew that if she acknowledged her, then there would be questions and inquiries and requests to go for coffee or something, and Jade didn't want any part of it. So it was easier to just say No and mean it. Because Vega seemed to be exactly the same as she always was, friendly and smiling and too fucking nice for her own good, and Jade had just changed too much to ever be around that again. Well, that was on top of the laundry list of other reasons she didn't want Vega in her life. But Jade didn't want to think about that, and she was almost relieved as a blur of red velvet sped by in her peripheral.
"I knew I'd find you here," Cat said as she practically danced into the closet and pushed the door shut behind her. She plopped down on the floor, a pleasant smile plastered across her face. "Why have you been avoiding us?"
Jade rolled her eyes and adjusted her arms. "I haven't been avoiding anyone."
"Yeah you have," Cat countered, her smile never faltering. "That's why you're in here by yourself instead of outside with everyone else."
"Whatever, Cat," Jade grumbled into her knees and she turned her head away.
"Is it because of Tori? Do you not like her? Because she swears she wasn't trying to steal Beck away from you."
"Beck has nothing to do with it," Jade snapped, causing Cat to recoil. Cat was like a newly hatched bird. You had to walk on eggshells to deal with her, otherwise you just ended up with this fluffy little mess. Like a baby duck. "Beck and I are fine. He would never leave me for Vega, anyway."
"Then what's wrong?"
Jade suddenly wished she was alone again, but Cat seemed almost impervious to her venom. Even if she was affected by it, the girl recovered so fast that Jade half expected her to get whiplash. "Can't you just mind your own fucking business?"
"Jade," Cat gasped and leaned forward to swat at the other girl's foot. "Don't use that word."
"Sorry, kitten," Jade smirked, not sorry at all. Cat immediately perked up. It wasn't often that Jade was affectionate, but sometimes she couldn't help it, especially when it was just the two of them. Cat, in all her youthful innocence, sparked something inside of Jade. Something pleasant, and familiar, and Jade had this urge to protect her. From what, she had no idea, but she didn't like to dwell on the possible reasons. "I forgot about your precious ears."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Cat asked in confusion, clamping her hands over her ears. Jade rolled her eyes and after a moment Cat seemed to forget about the comment. She leaned over and reached into her backpack. She pulled out a plastic container and held it out to Jade. "You want some salad? I was gonna eat outside, but then I figured it might be more fun with you since we haven't eaten together all week." Jade shook her head and Cat shrugged as she pried open the container and started digging into her salad with a plastic fork. They spent the rest of lunch in the closet, Cat telling Jade stories about a cute boy in one of her many vocal classes, speaking around mouthfuls of lettuce. Sometimes Jade couldn't stand being around Cat's overly enthusiastic personality, but it was a welcome distraction as all thoughts of Tori fucking Vega were temporarily banished from her mind.
When the warning bell rang, signaling that they had five minutes to get to their next class, Jade and Cat left their little solitude and joined the sluggish stream of students in the hallway, no one eager to go back to class. Jade followed the bobbing red hair in front of her all the way to science, where she sat next to Beck while Cat slid into the seat behind her. Beck leaned across his desk. "You okay? You weren't at lunch."
Jade merely pointed to the bouncing girl behind her. "I was catnapped." A giggle erupted from Cat, who echoed 'catnapped', and Beck smiled at her.
"Alright. It's just that you've been acting weird all week. You haven't even been drinking coffee." His brows knitted together in worry, but Jade was saved from having to answer by the bell sounding again as their teacher called for quiet.
As a kid, Jade West kind of really liked ducks. The way that they just floated in the water without a care in the world. Occasionally dipping their heads under the water and bobbing back up, shaking their wings and bodies to get rid of any excess water. Her dad would take her to a really nice park on the other side of town every Sunday. They'd stop at a bakery on the way, usually getting bagels or muffins or something, and they always got a couple of rolls that they'd break up into tiny pieces once they got to the park and sat next to the pond tucked away behind some trees. They'd sit in the grass, near the edge of the water and eat their breakfast and throw pieces of bread for the ducks. He told her once that she swam like a duck, which always seemed silly to her, but she took it as a compliment. Of course, that stopped as Jade got older. At first, it was only one Sunday that they didn't go, and then it was a couple in a row, and before she knew it, Jade had stopped asking because he would never take her. When she was ten, though, he did. She didn't even have to ask. It was out of the blue one Sunday morning, a couple weeks before Halloween. They didn't stop at a bakery on the way, but her dad did bring some bread from home. Jade didn't mind though, she was just excited to be going. Her parents had kind of stopped fighting. Instead, their conversations were hushed and quiet and it was almost worse, in a way, because Jade had no idea what was going on. She assumed that they were getting along again, since the yelling had stopped, but she could tell that something wasn't quite right. But her dad had brought her back to that huge park, and they sat underneath the same tree that they always had, and Jade was happy. For a bit, at least, until her dad told her the reason that he and her mom weren't fighting anymore. And then they just sat in silence, Jade viciously ripping slices of bread into tiny pieces and crumbs and flinging them out across the water, her dad watching as the ducks swam and bobbed for the food. And all Jade could think was how much she hated ducks. How they just swam in the water without a care in the world. Ruffling their feathers and making noise just for the sake of it. Yeah, she really hated ducks.
Jade's favorite classes were the last three classes she had during the day. Screenwriting, cinema studies, and then film production. Or, they used to be her favorite three, until a few days ago. Jade's science class was on the opposite side of school from her screenwriting class, so she always walked in just before the bell rang. When she walked in on Friday, she stopped abruptly in the doorway. For some reason, people were sitting in different seats than usual. She caught one boy's eyes, and her confused face must have looked pretty damn similar to her angry face because he immediately dropped his gaze to his notebook and pretended like he hadn't seen her. Jade blinked slowly, her eyes scanning the rows of desks, looking for an empty seat that wasn't anywhere near the damn windows or the bright eyed girl sitting next to them. "Jade, take a seat," the teacher said as the bell rang. Her jaw clenched and Jade full-on stomped down the aisle to the only empty desk in the entire fucking room. She sat down, purposefully keeping her eyes locked on the front of the classroom. It was harder to ignore Tori's burning gaze when the girl was sitting right next to her, but Jade definitely tried. She couldn't stop her eyes from flickering to the right, though, when she knew Tori had taken a break from staring at her. But then Tori's gaze would waver, her eyebrows twitching in confusion, and Jade's eyes snapped back to the teacher. It took every ounce of willpower that she had not to spin in her seat and snap at Vega.
By some miracle, Jade made it through the entire class, and actually managed to jot down some notes. They were disjointed and half-formed thoughts, but it was better than nothing. Jade shoved her notebook into her bag and, just like every other day that week, bolted from the classroom. She had a feeling that a certain brunette might have been following her, but she got to her next class without being intercepted and breathed a sigh of relief. Her jaw ached, though, the muscles having held it clamped shut for so long.
She flipped open her bag and shoved her arm in, digging around until her fingers found a few stray papers. She pulled them out and laid them down on the teacher's desk. Another student came in and dropped his report on the edge of the desk, giving Jade a wide berth as he walked by. Jade frowned at her own report. The pages were ridiculously wrinkled from being shoved carelessly into her bag. She tried to smooth them out as best she could, her hands moving across the paper as she watched a few more students come in and drop off their assignments. Jade glanced down at her hands and almost jumped in surprise. She quickly unfolded the creases her hands had instinctively made, and rattled the entire desk as she slammed the teacher's stapler down on the corner of the papers. She tossed the report onto the pile and went to her desk. Tori Fucking Vega. Jade had almost folded the top page of her report into a god damned paper plane.
"Okay," the teacher said as he walked into class and glanced at the stack of reports on his desk, "we'll briefly review the Hays Code and censorship, and then move right along to the effects of it in classic comedies. There's a lot to cover, so let's get started." Jade was frustrated. For several reasons, obviously, but most prominent was how much shit she had forgotten to include in her paper. She cringed every time her teacher brought up a point that she knew she hadn't mentioned in her report. She had gone into enough detail about the aspects she did cover that she hoped her grade wouldn't suffer too much because of it, but she was still pissed off at her own stupidity. She'd been on edge all week long and it was starting to show. She needed to get a fucking grip already, because she couldn't continue with half of her mind always stuck in the past. It was just hard when her past was there, staring her in the face all day long.
Jade struggled through the rest of that class, and then through her film production one. And the fact that she had to struggle at all through classes that usually kept her rapt attention infuriated her. One more item to add to the rapidly growing list of resentments. She knew it probably wasn't fair of her to be keeping a mental tally against Vega, but she couldn't help it. It was how she functioned. You keep tabs on people, accounts of your interactions with them, and you judge them accordingly. Because if you don't, you can get turned around and caught up in emotions and that never ended well. Her parents were proof of that. It's why she didn't really try and have any sort of relationship with either of them. It's why she wasn't bothered by her lack of one. She had scorecards that she'd been keeping on them for her entire life and those scores added up to her current situation. It wasn't a surprise. She knew where she stood with them and she liked it that way. It's not like Tori was special, Jade thought with a scoff. She did it with everyone. That's why she kept ripping body parts off of Robbie's puppet. His score was always in the negative because Rex counted as almost a hundred checks in the negative column. It's why she was dating Beck. He tallied up well. Cat and Andre fluctuated, depending on Jade's mood, but they usually came out okay. But Vega? Jade shoved some books into her locker as she thought about it. Fucking Vega crisscrossed all sorts of columns and problems and lists that dated back, like, a decade. Jade's mind had an entire section dedicated to cross-referencing the girl. She couldn't be added up the way everyone else could. It made her dangerous.
"Hey, babe."
Jade glanced over as Beck sidled up next to her, casually leaning on the wall next to her. "Hey," she answered, staring at her locker in confusion. Half the shit she needed to bring home for the weekend was sitting inside it, and with a quick glance in her bag, she saw a couple books that she barely ever touched, even in class, including her screenwriting text. She shook her head and started actually paying attention to what her hands were doing.
"So Cat was kind of hinting about maybe hitting up Karaoke Dokie tonight. You game?"
"I didn't think Cat knew how to hint at things since that involves subtlety," Jade said, finally satisfied with the contents of her bag. She pushed her locker door shut.
Beck chuckled and ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back. "Well when I say hint, I mean she demanded we go." Jade shrugged and stepped away from her locker, Beck following as she headed outside. "You sure you're okay?"
"I'm fine," Jade said sharply. She was really getting sick of people asking her that fucking question.
"Okay. So… karaoke tonight then?"
"Fine," Jade said as they came to a stop in the parking lot. "Karaoke. Yay."
Beck frowned and leaned down, lightly kissing her cheek. "Alright, I'll see you there at seven."
"Can't wait." Jade forced a smile, which ended up as more of a grimace, and Beck nodded before walking away. She started crossing the parking lot, digging her hand into her bag to fish out her keys. As she walked up to her car, she lifted her eyes and caught not one, but two fucking Vegas heading in her direction. Jade felt like she had just robbed a bank, with how quickly she got into her car, started it, and sped out of the parking space.
Jade pulled into the parking lot at Karaoke Dokie at 7:01 exactly. She glanced at Beck in her passenger seat and frowned. She had texted him later on, sort of apologizing about the way she had been acting. Well, it wasn't so much an apology as it was a demand that he be ready because she was picking him up. But she knew that he would take it how she meant. The car ride from his house had been quiet though. Neither of them really talked and Jade had resorted to turning the volume on the radio up to try and drown out the awkward silence. It kind of just made it more awkward though. She unbuckled her seatbelt and grabbed Beck's arm before he had a chance to open his door. She reached up and grabbed his face, a bit rougher than she had intended, and kissed him hard. It was strained, like two people just going through the motions. Like they were doing a scene in a play. It had never been like that before, and Jade found herself leaning further into him, trying almost desperately to force some sort of emotion. She had been all edges all week. Sharp and barbed. She couldn't blame Beck for reacting to that. His hand wrapped around her upper arm and he gently pushed her as he pulled away. "C'mon, everyone's probably waiting." It didn't even register with Jade what he meant by 'everyone' until they were already inside and she saw Cat waving from a table. With Andre, Robbie, Rex, and Fucking Vega. Jade's feet stuttered across the floor but she quickly regained her composure. Get your shit together, West. She knew she'd have to deal with the whole group at some point, and since Tori seemed to have merged into the group that meant Jade would have to deal with her eventually. No time like the present, she supposed, as she sat down next to Cat. She was aware of Beck greeting Tori and the girl's friendly response. Jade took a deep breath and crossed her arms over her stomach as she slouched in her chair. She had just willingly thrown herself into the deep end, but at least she could swim like a fucking duck. Although that probably only meant she wouldn't drown. There might be a lot of flailing and gasping for air, though. Rippling of feathers to shake off the excess water if she managed to surface. "Man, I hate ducks," Jade murmured as a shudder ran through her body.
"What was that, Jade?" Robbie asked.
"I said if your puppet doesn't stop staring at me I'm gonna shove his foot down your throat," she snapped, watching as Robbie's eyes went wide.
"Right," Andre laughed nervously before quickly changing the subject. "So who wants to go see if there's any new songs this week?" Robbie was out of his seat and nodding vigorously before Andre had even finished asking. Cat glanced from Jade to Beck to Tori and back. Jade gave a small shake of her head, and shouted after her as Cat squeaked and ran off to follow Andre and Robbie. Jade slouched so low in her seat that her head was barely above the table. She had just gotten there and was already sinking.
"So how's your first week been? You want to leave yet?" Beck asked with a smile, shifting in his seat a little.
Jade tried to ignore the enthusiasm in Tori's voice when she answered. "It's been really good, actually. I mean, some of the classes are pretty hard, and Sikowitz is a strange little man, but I'm really enjoying it so far."
Beck chuckled and leaned his elbows on the table. "Yeah. It takes some adjusting, but it's not so bad once you get used to it."
Tori nodded. "Yeah, and you guys have all been great. Andre, especially, with all his help." Jade rolled her eyes and was grateful when the others returned to the table. They said that there weren't any new songs, but they signed up for some classics anyway. It was easier to ignore Tori's presence once the karaoke actually started up. Everyone was too focused on the performances to say much other than compliments about whoever was singing at the time. Andre went up and got massive applause, as did Cat. Robbie had a smattering of confused clapping after Rex performed a weird rap song. A few other people sang, as well, and Jade went right back to sinking in her seat when her friends started trying to convince Vega to perform. For some reason Tori's cheeks erupted in a blush so bright it rivaled Cat's hair. Not that Jade was looking, of course, it was just hard to ignore the sudden neon colored glow coming from across the table.
"Guys, I really don't think-"
"You have to, Tor!"
"Yeah! If Rex can do it, so can you!"
"It's not as bad as you think it is."
"It's actually really fun."
Everyone was talking at once, trying to encourage Tori, and no one heard Jade's grumbled comment about needing a waz. It wasn't until Jade pushed her chair back and stood up that anyone noticed her, and even then it was the one person Jade really hoped wouldn't. She shouldn't be so familiar with what it feels like to have someone staring at the back of her head, but she was. She wound between tables as she made her way across the room and let out a strange growl as she pushed open the door to the restroom. A woman standing at the sinks ran out of the bathroom when Jade shot her a scowl. She walked to the sink and turned off the tap. "Fuck." She closed her eyes, her hands gripping the edge of the counter tightly. She opened her eyes and looked at her reflection and then really wished that she hadn't. She looked like shit. Shit that had been left in the sun, then put in a bag and stuffed in a freezer, and then taken out to thaw before being microwaved. There were bags under her eyes, and Jade couldn't remember ever having those before. But more than that she just looked… worn down. She poked at her cheek experimentally. There was barely any color in her face. She turned the tap on and washed her hands, splashing just a bit of water on her face. It didn't help to make her feel better, and now what little make-up she had been wearing was ruined. "Fuck!" She repeated, slamming her hand down on the counter. She couldn't do it. She couldn't voluntarily sit out there. She couldn't sit with Fucking Vega and still keep the thoughts and memories that were banging against her conscious mind at bay. Jade walked over to the paper towel dispenser and waved her hand in front of the sensor. She would go home and just be a hermit. She'd go to school, and then go home, and she wouldn't have any sort of social life at all. Jade crushed the paper towel and tossed it into the trashcan before taking a deep breath. She would go home and get her shit together. Yeah, that sounded like a much better plan. She would figure out a way to consolidate all of Fucking Vega's cross-references and she would narrow it down, stick a label on it, give it a score, and move the fuck on. She yanked open the door and strode purposefully back to the table. "I don't feel well." Beck looked startled and started to stand up. Jade pushed him back into his chair as she grabbed her purse. "I'll see you guys on Monday." She heard Beck call her name as she walked away, but she didn't turn around. She could feel those fucking eyes again and it spurred her feet forward. She was halfway through the parking lot, keys in hand, when she heard her name being called again. She picked up her pace, and if she was going any faster it would have been called running.
"Jade, wait! Please!"
She kept walking, almost to her car. Just a few more yards and she would be safe. She heard the footsteps behind her getting louder, and then they were beating out a frantic cadence against the asphalt. Tori reached the car as soon as Jade did, only Tori was a second faster. She shoved her body between Jade and the driver's side door. "Jade, please."
"Move." Her voice was soft. Dangerously so, and anyone who knew Jade even just a little bit would know to fucking move.
There was a moment of hesitation before Tori said no. Jade's fist clenched around her keychain. "Move!" She demanded again.
"Not until you talk to me. Tell me what's going on."
Jade's eyes flickered to hers and Jade knew right away that it was a mistake. Because Tori's eyes were filled with concern and hurt and Jade only saw the ten year old version of Tori standing in front of her. Jade wanted to hit her. She wanted to hug her. She wanted to scream and she wanted to cry and she wanted to be away from those fucking eyes so she could figure it all out. "Just tell me what's going on. Why are you being like this?" Tori's voice was pleading, and the ten year old shrank down to a seven year old and Jade saw flashlights dancing across a blanket ceiling. That image morphed into her dinner table, her parents sat at opposite sides with nothing but silence and space stretching endlessly between them all. Jade moved so suddenly that Tori actually flinched, but by the time she realized that Jade wasn't going to hit her, Jade had already moved to the other side of the car. She ripped open the passenger side door and climbed in, slamming it shut behind her. Tori turned and watched as Jade slid across the bench seat and shoved the keys in the ignition. There was a moment, Jade was almost positive, where it seemed like Tori might actually throw herself onto the hood of the car to stop Jade from leaving. It was tense, but as Jade threw the car into reverse and eased her foot down on the gas, Tori just took a step back, her shoulders falling in a half-hearted shrug of defeat.
As a kid, Jade West had this thing about rainbows. She liked them, sort of, but she didn't really like them. She liked them because her best friend would always clap her hands excitedly and point to the sky, but she didn't actually like them herself. She just liked the way Tori's eyes would light up as she tugged on Jade's sleeve to see if she had seen it, too. And Jade would nod and answer that yeah, she'd seen it, but she didn't get what the big deal was. They were hardly more than faint red streaks through the sky, and science had kind of ruined the magic and mystery of rainbows for her anyway. There wasn't usually a big fluffy cloud on one end, and there certainly was never a pot of gold waiting at the end of it. Just sunlight bending through moisture in the air. But if she ever tried to say that, Tori would just shush her, sometimes with a playful punch on the arm, and tell her that she was ruining it. No matter what Jade said, though, Tori's smile was always a mile wide. It was like even though Tori knew exactly why rainbows happened, she still believed there was something magical and beautiful about them. Jade never really knew how much she liked that sort of optimism until she wasn't surrounded by it anymore, and then it was too late for her to change the way she saw things. She couldn't see the magic the way Tori always had.
Jade was surprisingly confident on Monday morning. Her body had its usual strut as she strode into Sikowitz's class. Her head was held high and her eyes lit up with their typical gleam. She felt… good almost. Well, maybe not good, but normal. And after the hellish week she had just went through, normal was good. She sat down next to Beck, a coffee cup clutched in her right hand as she eased her bag onto the floor by her feet. Concern tugged at the corner of Beck's mouth as he looked at her. She met his gaze and gave a small, sort of apologetic shrug. Jade took a sip of her coffee as Cat and Robbie took seats in front of her and Beck. Cat turned in her seat and gave Jade a nervous glance. "Are you feeling better?"
"Just peachy." Cat seemed to miss the sarcasm in Jade's voice and turned back around with a satisfied smile. Jade rolled her eyes as Sikowitz barged in through the door next to the stage, panting and wild-eyed. He wiped a hand nervously across his forehead and turned to face the class. "If anyone asks, I've been here the whole time!" Jade turned curious eyes to Beck who just shrugged. Andre stifled a laugh in front of them and Jade merely glanced at Vega as she took a seat across the aisle from Cat. Their eyes connected and Jade lazily looked away. Vega had been tallied, marked, and labeled. Jade could deal. She took another sip of coffee as Sikowitz started rambling on about some new scene he wanted them all to perform. "You gonna handle the script?" Beck whispered. Jade scoffed in reply and Beck frowned. "Right. Of course you are." He was relieved that Jade had somewhat returned to normal. At the very least, she seemed less aggravated and on edge than she had been for the past week, but something still seemed off. "So just separate yourselves into pairs and get cracking. But remember, this is a relationship falling apart, so I want some drama," he seemed to direct that statement towards Robbie and Cat, who had shifted their chairs closer together. "And preferably no one kills their partner this time." The corner of Jade's mouth pulled up in a smirk as Beck chuckled lightly next to her.
Andre seemed relieved, as well, that Jade was back to normal. He wasn't forced to hang off the edge of their table in Songwriting and Structure, and Jade certainly didn't look like she was going to jump down his throat if he so much as looked at her. He still jumped, though, when she grabbed his elbow after class. "What? I didn't do anything!" Jade looked at him strangely and held her hands up. "Dude. Chill. I just had a question." Andre seemed to relax and leaned against the doorway, nodding at her to continue. "Have you written anything for the final project yet?" Andre grinned with pride. "Yeah, I've written like three songs already. One of 'em-"
Jade raised a hand to silence him. "I so don't care."
"But you asked."
"Well I lied. I was just wondering," Jade paused, her eyes darting nervously to the hallway outside as a group of people walked by. Once they were gone she continued. "I mean, your songs, they're way to peppy and sometimes they're so sweet that even Cat can't stand them," Andre frowned, wondering where Jade was going with this, because she was speaking fast and her face was contorted like it almost physically hurt to say what she was about to say, "but, you know, they're good and all."
Andre blinked as Jade just stared at him. "I think I missed your point, Jade."
She rolled her eyes in annoyance. "How do you write them?" She asked slowly like he was too stupid to understand her.
"I just do," he shrugged, earning a grumbled 'helpful' from Jade. "Look, you just think of something, take what's inside you and write it out. If you're honest it'll show."
"Honest?" Jade almost looked scared of the idea.
"Yeah, you know, when you tell the truth?" Andre suggested with a grin. "Everyone's got emotions and if you're honest about 'em people will connect with what you're saying."
Jade pulled her bottom lip between her teeth, something that Andre hadn't ever seen her do before. She gave a small nod and walked away, leaving Andre confused in the doorway. "You're welcome?" He called after her. She just raised a hand in response.
By the time lunch rolled around, Jade was starving. It hadn't occurred to her just how little she had eaten over the past week, but as she tore into a massive bean burrito, everything inside of her screamed out in joy. "You're acting like it's about to run off your plate," Beck said with a smile as he dropped onto the bench next to her. She just shrugged and took another giant bite. Slowly other people joined the table. First Cat, who plopped down on Jade's other side so close that Jade kept bumping her with her elbow every time she moved. Then Andre and Robbie. "Where's the puppet?" Jade asked, casting a nervous glance under the table. She wouldn't put it past the creepy thing to be trying to stare up her skirt. "Rex," Robbie emphasized, "is in time out. He got me a detention during science."
"Tragedy," Jade mumbled, dropping her crumpled napkin on her now-empty plate.
"You guys!" Tori dropped onto the bench between Cat and Robbie, her face the spitting image of concern. "You'll never believe what just happened."
Something short circuited in Jade's brain. A synapse misfired, or a path got blocked, or a current somewhere jumped the tracks and ran haywire. But whatever the reason, her mind-to-mouth filter disappeared and she couldn't stop the words that tumbled from her in a strange voice. "Oh, I just got the most terrible news that y'all just won't believe!"
Tori turned confused eyes to Jade. "What? I don't talk like that." She glanced at the others for confirmation and then plowed on. "Whatever. Anyway, the police came and took Sikowitz away for questioning!" Apparently the lack of response from everyone was so not what Tori had been expecting, because she made a wild gesture with her hands. "Sikowitz? The police?"
"Yeah, that happens a lot." Cat said.
"All the time," Andre added. There were a few more comments of assent and Tori wilted in her seat, looking like a little kid. Jade had to look away, squinting as the sun shone in her eyes. "He never really gets in trouble," Andre continued. "He just gets into these crazy situations and sometimes things go a little… wrong."
"Like the cupcake float," Robbie said.
Cat gasped. "Or when Jade broke his neighbor's car window."
"Or the illegal coconut smuggling operation," Beck added, getting a round of nodding heads in response.
Tori just sat there, stunned and staring at everyone. "How do those things happen?"
"Sikowitz is weird," Jade said simply, picking up her coffee cup.
"You get used to it," Cat added. Tori looked a little confused for the rest of lunch though, and Jade tried to ignore the way the brunette kept glancing at her.
As a kid, Jade West liked solitude. She liked her bedroom door because it was thick enough to block out the worst of the noise coming from her parents. And then if she put some music on, she could tune it out completely. She liked her yard because there was a huge tree with a trunk thick enough to lean against comfortably and its branches and leaves gave great shade during the day. Sure, her best friend's yard had a pool, and a really nice patio, but Jade's had grass. Grass tall enough that every day at dusk, it glowed as fireflies rose up from it, skimming the tips of the blades for a bit before rising into the sky. There was one week one summer where the Vegas went away on vacation. Jade spent every night in a small tent in her yard. She barely slept, and it had nothing to do with the hum of insects or the chirping of crickets or the random tiny lights floating by outside. One night she heard glass shattering inside her house and she didn't sleep at all. But then the Vegas had come home, and Tori told Jade all about Florida, and how awesome it was, and when Jade said that she had spent the whole week camped out in her own backyard, Tori's eyes lit up even brighter than when she told the story about swimming with a dolphin. They camped out in Tori's yard that night, sitting in the small patch of grass near the fence that separated their homes. Jade demanded that Tori tell her about every single detail of her vacation, especially how Trina had accidentally fallen asleep with sunglasses on by the hotel pool and ended up with a ridiculous tan. They couldn't see many stars, but they tried to remember the names of the constellations they could see. Jade saw her first shooting star that night, almost not believing her eyes as the light streaked across the dark sky and disappeared. "You need to make a wish," Tori said excitedly, her hands holding onto Jade's arms, her face turned upwards in hope of seeing one herself. Jade looked down at Tori's hands on her skin, closed her eyes and made a wish. Of course it didn't come true, and Jade never wished on anything again.
A/N I find it easier to write Tori than Jade, so I'm sorry if this whole chapter is horrible and really OOC or anything like that. I'm still finding my footing with these girls, and hopefully it'll improve as the story goes on. I've got an outline and a very solid idea for what I want to happen, so updates will be pretty regular things, as long as you all want them.
I just wanted to thank you guys for the reviews and alerts and things. It's really cool that you're enjoying this so far. Leave a review if the fancy strikes and I'll see ya on the flip side.