A:N/ Hey! Ok, so this is not my favorite chapter but this event was very real in Season 5 and one thing I'm proud of is how Glee handled the whole Cory/Finn thing. It was very important to give the fans closure considering how much Cory and Finn meant to all of us and they did it in a very classy, considerate and thoughtful way. This is Santana's point of how she handled Finn's death with the help of Dani. Finn was a big part of Santana's life even if in the show it didn't get the importance it deserved. So here it is. Thank you for reading!

Part 2

It all happened so fast. I faintly remember hearing Kurt tell us what had happened and then everything just went numb. It was like I was in slow motion and everything seemed to be moving around me, yet I stood frozen. Without blinking, paused. The noise from around me disappeared and I couldn't hear Rachel's hysterical cries or Kurt's soft words as he tried to console her but utterly failed. My vision was blurred and I realized I was crying as I adamantly stared at the same spot on the metal door in front of me. I couldn't detect movement or sounds or anything. I just sat there completely paralyzed without knowing what to do as my brain did the best it could to try and understand what Kurt's words had meant.

He was dead. Finn was dead.

How? When? Why? This just couldn't be. A moment ago we were happy; I was telling them about my date. And the next moment; dark, everything was dark. I don't recall how long I sat there motionless, but soon enough my body obeyed my mind and I knew I had to do something. I blinked rapidly and the tears fell off my eyes, I could see now. I looked to my right and I saw Kurt still clutching the phone with one hand, his knuckles white, his face pale with red eyes. Rachel was just too much to look at. She was on the floor on her knees as she kept screaming at the top of her lungs. She kept repeating the same thing over and over.

No. You're lying. That's not true. He's still here.

Kurt kept repeating that it was true and that he was sorry, but Rachel just wouldn't hear him. Even though he was trying his hardest to hold himself together, it was visible that he just couldn't. Why would he? Finn was his brother. And that was when it hit me. I needed to be the strong one. I needed to pull myself together to be there for them. Finn had meant so much to me, but Kurt was his brother, Rachel was his soulmate.

I got up from the couch and tried to get to Rachel with Kurt, but she just screamed louder and pushed us away. I was terrified because I didn't know what to do. It was all too much. We stayed back as Rachel's hands shook along with her head in a "no" shape. A few minutes more of this and suddenly Rachel stopped screaming but she kept crying, harder if it was even possible.

Tell me this isn't true. Kurt, please. Tell me he's not gone. Santana, tell him that he's still here.

It broke my heart to see her like this, so desperate and broken. Kurt was a mess, I was a mess. How were we supposed to help each other like this? We tried to tell her that it was true and that there was nothing anyone could do about it. Suddenly, realization hit her and she started screaming again. I tried to go forward to hold her but she just pushed me roughly back and did the same with Kurt.

Leave me alone! You don't understand! He's not gone! You're all lying! He's not dead!

I felt so helpless and in my desperation I did something I wasn't proud of but that helped. I yelled back.

"He's dead Rachel! Dead!"

She went silent as both of them stared back at me. There was a brief silence as only our breathings were heard. "I know you don't want to believe it, because it doesn't make any fucking sense! It doesn't! But it happened. And we can't do anything about it. I don't know what to tell you to make you feel better because nothing will. Not for you, or for Kurt. But let me try and help you. Just calm down and I'll help you. Please Rachel, just let me try" I said.

She looked at me defeated and she fell on her knees again as tears continued to fall from all of our eyes. With Kurt's help, we sat Rachel back on the couch as Kurt took her in his arms. Rachel just rocked there, crying, clutching my hand as we all tried to help each other.

I don't how long we stayed there like that, in silence. Eventually I needed to go the bathroom and when we made sure that Rachel was a little bit ok, I went while Kurt made tea. None of us said anything else, we just stayed silent until we fell asleep.

The next morning Kurt's parents called to say that they had booked us three seats in the next day's first flight out of New York and heading to Lima, for the funeral. We made breakfast but no one ate anything. Everything was just so dull. Kurt and I started packing the essentials while we checked on Rachel every once in a while. She stayed in her room just staring at the window with not a trace of light in her eyes. Eventually the night came and Kurt and I went to the grocery shop to buy things for the trip before we left. When we came back Rachel was gone.

We spent the whole night looking for her but we had no luck. I called Dani in the morning and told her what was happening. She rushed over even though it was just past five and the moment I saw her I broke down completely. All the exhaustion from being up all night, the worry of not knowing where Rachel was, the grief, the pain I felt in my heart every time Finn's face entered my mind, caught up with me.

She was pretty understanding and just held me for a while until my sobs stopped and I could breathe again. I stayed there with my chin in her shoulder and my arms holding her tightly. She didn't even understand everything completely but she didn't say anything, she was just there for me. That was the first time I truly appreciated her, and knew that letting her enter my life, had been a good decision.

She smelled nice, and even though I knew that thinking about that at a time like that was stupid, it made everything better. It was comforting. She made everything better.

Just when we were about to go look for Rachel again, she walked in the door in a horrible state. Her hair was all messed up, her eyes were blood red, her clothes looked dirty and she was drunk out of her mind.

"Oh my god, Rachel! What happened to you?" Kurt said as we all rushed to get her before she fell to the floor.

"Leave me alone, I'm fine" she struggled to say.

"You're not fine Rachel look at you" I said. Rachel stumbled as we placed her on the couch.

"Yes I'm drunk, yes I went to a bar. But you know what, I just don't care. I don't care if I wandered the streets. Because nothing matters anymore!" She yelled.

"Rachel what are you saying?" Kurt asked with scared eyes.

"What I mean, Kurt Hummel" she half laughed and it was creepy. "Is that nothing else matters anymore. Because he's gone. He's dead. Finn is dead." She said the last part quietly as she stared blankly at the floor.

I looked at Kurt and I must have had the same terrified look as he had because I felt Dani's hand grab mine in support. God, what would I have done without her.

"I think she needs to get a shower and some sleep." Dani proposed quietly.

"Yeah, let's get her in the shower" I agreed.

Rachel wouldn't move so Kurt had to lift her up and carry her to the bathroom. Dani turned the faucet on as I opened the shower curtain for Kurt to put her inside. I started taking her jacket off and Dani stepped away as she looked at me uncomfortably. She was supportive but this was too much.

"We got this, don't worry" I said and she nodded. She was leaving but I caught her hand. "Thanks" I said sincerely and she smiled.

"I'll wait outside." She murmured and closed the door.

Kurt took Rachel's shirt off as I took care of her pants. When she was undressed we put her in the shower and let the warm water fall on her face. She just had this dead look on her and I couldn't see anything through her eyes. Rachel was so communicative, even when she wasn't speaking, with her eyes she told you everything and right now, I couldn't see a thing. That scared the shit out of me.

After the bath and the water we made her drink she seemed to be sobering up. It was now seven a.m. and we needed to get going soon for the airport. I packed for Rachel with Dani's help while she fell asleep. When it was time to go Kurt woke her up and she was now sober and dealing with a hang over. When we told her that we were leaving, she said she was not going.

"What?!" Kurt asked losing it.

"I said I'm not going" Rachel repeated in the same volume as Kurt. Rachel stared at the quilt on her bed while Dani and I shared a look not knowing what to do.

"Rachel snap out of it!" Kurt suddenly yelled. "I know you're hurt and that you're upset. But snap the hell out of it! Don't you think I'm devastated too? Don't you think I care too? He was my brother Rachel. My brother. And I haven't been able to grief the fact that I lost him too because I've been taking care of you. So get up and get dressed because you're coming to the funeral!"

Dani and I remained in silence, staring at the tension between Kurt and Rachel.

"I told you I'm not gonna go and I don't fucking care if you yell at me because nothing that you say will make me change my mind. I'm not going because I don't want to, it's because I can't. So just leave me the hell alone and go already. All of you. Get out!" Rachel spat.

"I can't believe you" Kurt shook his head and walked out of the room.

I looked at Rachel one more time but she didn't say anything to me. I grabbed Dani's hand and walked out too. I understood she was upset and I couldn't do anything about it. It was better if we left it like that.

Kurt was already at the door with his suitcase when he said, "Santana come on, we're gonna lose our flight."

"Yeah, I'm coming" I said grabbing my bag. I looked one more time towards Rachel's room and walked out of the apartment and closed the door.

Once we were outside and Kurt was calling a cab, Dani turned to me and said. "You sure you're ok? I can come with you if you want."

"No, I think it's best if I do this alone." I replied. "Can you just, check up on her?"

"Yeah sure, no problem."

"I just don't want her to be alone or do something she might regret later. Rachel is a very rational person but when she's broken she's very unpredictable."

"Yeah, I understand. I'll tell you if anything's up." Dani nodded.

"Thank you. Really, I can't thank you enough" I sighed.

"Come here" she said and gave me a long tight hug. I exhaled in her shoulder and composed myself.

"Santana" Kurt called when the cab was there.

I separated from Dani and kissed her softly. "I'll see you when I come back."

She nodded and smiled warmly at me. "Take care of yourself."

"I will" I said and walked into the cab next to Kurt. From the window I waved goodbye as the car advanced. She waved back until I couldn't see her anymore and I sighed loudly. I realized that I already missed her and prepared myself for what it would be the worst weekend of my life.

All I wanted to do was see her, so when she entered my room fifteen minutes before eleven p.m., I was relieved. I was in my pajamas and she came and hugged me very tightly.

"Hey, I missed you" she whispered.

"I missed you too" I said.

"How are you holding up?" She asked breaking away but staying close.

"I'm better. It was horrible but I'm getting there. We're all getting there" I said thinking about my friends from Lima and how broken we all were.

"I'm glad."

I sat down with her on my bed, "Thank you for keeping an eye on Rachel."

"No problem, I knew she needed someone despite what she said."

"How was she?"

"Pretty quiet. I came in the afternoon of the morning you left and she let me in. I told her that I was just making sure she was ok and she told me that she appreciated it, but she just needed time to think. I accompanied her to take a walk but she didn't say anything. We just walked all the way to Bow Bridge in silence. She just stayed there looking at the water. I don't know why she went there, but she seemed to be a little bit better after." I nodded trying to understand. "I think it's gonna be a slow process, but eventually she'll be better."

"Yeah, I sure hope so." I said lying down on the bed.

"Are you ok?" She asked softly.

I looked at her for a second and sighed, "I have to be, don't I?"

She shook her head, "Not with me."

"But I do. I do have to be ok, because Kurt lost his brother and Rachel the love of her life. I need to be the strong one, I need to keep it together. It's not fair that I break down. If I'm not the strong one, then who will?" I said and I felt tears coming out of my eyes.

"Santana" Dani kneeled in closer. "It's ok. You don't always have to have everything in control. You are allowed to feel something. He was your friend too. He meant something to you, and just because he meant more to them, doesn't mean you need to shelter your emotions. I understand you wanna be strong for them, so be it. But right now, here with me, you don't have to be. So let it all out. I know you need to."

I took a deep breath and let my emotions take over. "I just miss him so much" I cried and Dani immediately took me in her arms.

"I know, I know sweetie."

"He was just so kind and forgiving. And I never got the chance to say how much I loved him!" I cried desperately. Dani held me and laid me down on the bed with her. She just comforted me for a while until my breathing returned to normal.

"You're feeling better?" She asked.

"Yeah" I nodded drying my tears.

"Tell me about him" she said in a quiet voice.

"About Finn?" I asked. She nodded.

"He was the best guy I knew. He was so considerate and honest. He never saw the worst in me, even if I almost only gave him the chance to see that. He protected me and cared about me, like no other guy I ever met did" I said with my face against her chest.

"I was so mean to him, and only one time did he reply back. And still he only did it with the best intention." Dani listened to me attentively as she ran her fingers through my hair.

"Actually that one time we were fighting, some people overheard and I was outed."

Dani lifted her body so I went with her. "You were outed?" She asked with horror in her face.

"Kind of. I mean, I said I was gay but I didn't have any chance to do it when I really was ready."

"I'm sorry" she said.

"No, it wasn't as bad. I had the best friends that supported me. Finn was the guy who did the most for me. He just cared so much and he wasn't afraid to show it. He was a much better person than I will ever be. And I loved him, I loved him so much. But now he's gone, and I will never get the chance to say how thankful I was for him." I sobbed once again.

Dani placed her hands on my face, "Santana, he knew. He knew that you cared, otherwise why would he have been so nice to you."

"Because that's who he was, he was that good of a person" I hiccuped.

"Regardless of that. He knew, I can promise that. He cared about you as much as you did for him."

"You think so?" I asked in a small voice.

"Yeah, I do. You're special, Santana. And everybody knows that. And he was very fortunate for realizing that in you too" Dani said kindly. She nodded and I kissed her. I didn't know what to reply, so it was better if I showed her.

"Thank you" I said with my forehead against hers. "For making me feel better and for staying in this awful situation."

She looked deeply into my eyes. "Santana, I'm not going anywhere. I just found you."

With her words and her eyes, suddenly my grief and anguish disappeared. I knew Finn was still gone, but for a second she made everything better. She was kind and considerate and it warmed my whole body. I had forgotten what it was like to feel like that, and finding that feeling again was wonderful.

I dozed off and the next thing I remembered was her shaking me awake gently. "Santana, it's late. I'm gonna go."

I rapidly grabbed her wrist, "No, don't go. Please stay."

I honestly don't remember why I did that, I just felt desperate that she would leave, like she was the only good thing in my life left and I was terrified to lose her.

She looked at me for a second and then said, "Ok, I'll stay." I smiled back at her and she squeezed my hand.

"I think I'm gonna go get ready for sleep. Get yourself comfortable."

I later realized that by saying that I was very clearly stating that the reason why I needed her to stay was very different from sex. She later told me that she knew and that she didn't plan it either. Because you never plan things; the most special moments happen when most unexpected. I gave her a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and we both laid down under my covers in silence. At one point we started talking about Finn again and I told her all about how I had taken his virginity and then told Rachel about it. I told her about the time I gave him mono, and finally, the time I slapped the crap out of him. She never passed judgement and there never appeared a single spot of criticism in her eyes; she was the nicest girl I had ever met. Strangely, she reminded me a lot of Finn, and that made me smile.

I also told her about the good times, like when we both drove Waxed Barbie out of Rachel's life or when he called me to give the Glee Club a lesson on being a diva or when he gave Rizzo to me. When she asked me what was my favorite memory of him, I said it was when he called me to help him buy a Christmas gift for Rachel. Despite all we've been through, for him it was natural to call me up and ask for my help. That was when I knew that he was the guy for Rachel. And although we weren't friends yet, it was something I never forgot.

"If I had the chance, I'd do it all over again. I wouldn't have slept with him or tell Rachel about it. I would have let him help me when they were gonna out me. I would have really said thank you to him. Because the truth is that, part of why I'm here and happy and sure of who I am, is because of him. And I will always owe it to him."

Dani nodded into the pillow as she faced me and pulled me closer. She kissed me softly, "You can't change the past, Santana. But you can make his memory last forever in here" she placed my own hand over my heart. "Never forget him and let him guide you to that bright tomorrow that I'm sure he always knew you would get."

Tears fell out of my eyes, "I'll do that. And I'll take care of Rachel for him."

Dani leaned in and placed a lingering kiss on my forehead, it made me suck in my breath and grasp her hands firmly in mine. It had been the worst weekend of my life but I knew that I couldn't give up. I knew that time healed everything, and it did. As years passed every time I thought about him it hurt a little less and eventually all I could do was smile with his memory. It was tough for Kurt and even tougher for Rachel, but with each other's help we made it through. Life is something that can get taken away from you, sometimes without you even noticing. They say death is hardest on the living, and it's true and it teaches you a lot of valuable lessons. I learned most of them with the passing of years, but one thing I learned that weekend was that you should hold on to stuff you care about, because you never know when they're going to be gone. That's why that night, I hold on to Dani real tight and didn't let go until morning came.