A/N: Wow, thanks so much for all those reviews and follows! They really made my day (month...how long has it been?) Message received: other people are as into dumb kwami swap shenanigans as I am, so I'll continue this fic. :D

I'm going to make this fic into a collection of loosely related one-shots; each chapter will take place in the same universe, but there won't be any real plot or distinct time-line connecting them. That way we can all revel in crack-based hilarity and this can continue to be a stress-relieving project for me.

I'm going to leave this fic labeled "complete" because a) I will update it as ideas come to me and I feel like writing them, so I don't want to make any promises I can't keep; and b) because, without a unifying plot, the collection could always technically stand as-is no matter how many chapters I do or do not add.

For this second chapter, we have actualdelinquent?Marinette and dramaqueen!Adrien.

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Marinette stares at her computer screen, watching Chat Noire steal the Louvre's most famous piece of art on the evening news. Plagg hasn't seen her this dumbfounded since that photo shoot came out of Adrien in a three-piece tux.

"The cat's meow?" she says finally.

"Yeah," Plagg agrees. "You could do better than that."

Marinette stands. "We have to talk to the authorities. If a fake, well, me, is running around, who knows what other trouble they'll cause."

"Not to mention," Plagg adds, "We have to clear your name. There's no way I'd let you make your debut like that. Where's the finesse? The mystery? They've totally bungled it!"

Marinette blinks at him. "I'm...not a cat burglar."

"Yet," Plagg corrects.

Marinette rolls her eyes and crosses her arms. "And why would be I be a cat burglar?

Plagg raises an eyebrow. "Besides the obvious?"

"I'm pretty sure there's more to being a cat burglar than having 'Chat' in your name."

"Sure, sure," Plagg continues, perching on top of Marinette's latest hat design. "There'd be ingenious plans, daring entrances, quick escapes, a whole world left wondering how you did it, and, of course, the most famous piece of art in history to adorn your room."

Marinette raises her eyebrows. "I wouldn't steal the Mona Lisa," she says.

Plagg moans and falls onto his side. So much talent, wasted.

"It'd be too cliché," Marinette continues.

Plagg snaps back up, eyes sparkling. "Where's the intrigue?" he agrees. "What would you take?"

Marinette looks around her room with a hand on her chin. "The Venus de Milo would make an excellent hat mannequin."

Plagg practically yips with glee.

Marinette snorts and waves her arms. "I'm not actually going to be a cat burglar..."

Of course not, Plagg thinks. Just keep telling yourself that. He makes a show of sighing and shaking his head. "Such a shame. You already have the costume. And I hear Adrien has a thing for leather."

Marinette jolts, eyes wide. "He does not."

"He could have. Lots of guys do."

Marinette sighs. "You're incorrigible."

But two weeks later, Marinette's made herself a leather jacket and is wearing it to school – the way Adrien's jaw drops, priceless – and looking up the Louvre's art pieces on her phone between classes, so Plagg's calling it a win.

SOMETIME LATER...

"Adrien," Tikki hangs her head, exasperated. "It's not a big deal."

Adrien huffs and flops onto his couch. "It was fine when she was just a die-hard fan, but to actually think she could replace me?"

Tikki sighs. "She was Akumatized, she didn't know what she was thinking."

Adrien crosses his arms. "You didn't see her, that time we fought Lady Wifi. Her moves were so uncoordinated and she couldn't use the yo-yo at all! Not to mention her style was totally off."

"No one is going to think that Chloé is the real Ladybug, Adrien," Tikki tries, once again, to assure him.

In vain. "Alya's one of the smartest people I know! If she thought Chloé could be Ladybug, anyone can!" Adrien bites his lip. "What if I'm actually like Chloé, and just never realized? We've been friends since we were kids! Maybe that's why Chat Noire doesn't like me. She hates Chloé."

"Come on," Tikki tries for a cheerful tone, hovering in front of Adrien's face. "You really think she wouldn't see that you're totally different?"

Adrien drops his gaze. "She wouldn't be the first to think we aren't."

Tikki lands on his hands. "Those people all changed their minds when they got to know you. Now they're you're friends!" She sees Adrien try for a smile. "Chat Noire is your partner! Didn't she say so today? You're a team. Just because she doesn't flirt with you doesn't mean she doesn't like you."

Adrien's smile turns wistful. "Do you think she'll ever like me the way I like her?"

Tikki giggles. "Only time will tell. All you can do now is let her know how you really feel!"

Adrien blushes and turns his head to the side. "Easier said than done," he mumbles.

Tikki goes to nuzzle his cheek, and he laughs. They enjoy a moment of contentedness, before –

"Do you think there's a way to get Chloé to stop pretending to be me? Maybe I can ask Chat to steal her costume – Chat seems to be into that sort of thing lately."

Tikki gives up. "If it will make you feel better."

"Chloé can't even make a decent pun! Of course it'll make me feel better. Someone needs to stop her before she ruins my whole aesthetic."

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A/N: Imma have to go with a "kwami magic protects the hero's identity by obscuring their physical appearance, making even their gender uncertain" explanation to pull this one off. Also I had Chloé continue to idolize Ladybug instead of swapping it to Chat-Noire Marinette because shut up it worked with my scenario.

If you have any suggestions/prompts for future chapters, I'd love to hear them! Can't make any promises on what'll actually get written but I'll consider anything you throw at me.