Author's Note: And here is where we start in with actual episodes from season 13. As you will notice, the chapter titles are the episode titles so it should be easy to tell which one I'm doing (though they do go in order too). Please keep in mind that this is from Cragen's perspective which means Olivia's thoughts and reasoning for what she does may not be fully explained. Cragen can't read her mind, he can only make realistic guesses for what he sees.

Chapter Two – Scorched Earth

June through July

Cragen's patience and belief in Olivia was slowly paying off. Over the course of the last few weeks she'd started to come back to herself. Her work habits had picked back up again, and she was closing cases at a rate more reminiscent of her time with Elliot. Despite that she wasn't all the way herself. He still caught her drifting off at times and signs of her depression continued to crop up. The most obvious was how she'd appeared to age years in the month since her partner had taken leave. At the moment though, he couldn't complain about her work. It was why he wasn't concerned with the fact that Olivia was catching alone that weekend and they had pulled a case. Two weeks ago he would have been, but not anymore. Of course he hadn't expected it to be this much of a doozy, and Olivia looked like she was ready to start beating her head against a wall.

"How's it going?" he asked once Olivia closed the door on the third interview room.

Olivia sighed, and Cragen couldn't help noticing that she looked really run down already. From the little bit that he'd already witnessed the case was turning into a major cluster. Accusations were flying all over the place, and every adult that had been brought in was trying to one up the others with what they tossed around. The two children involved were trapped in the middle of the mess. With all of the adults together a traffic cop was more appropriate than a detective, but sometimes his people had to play that role.

"It's not. Every time I think I get close to unraveling the truth I realize I'm nowhere near it. This entire thing is such a tangled knot, Cap. I'm tempted to just lock them all up and be done with it."

"Olivia," Cragen warned.

She glanced over at him and then shook her head before fixing her eyes on the ceiling. After a moment or two she met his eyes.

"Relax, Captain. I'll do my job."

"I know you will," he assured calmly. "Would you like me to talk to one of them?"

"Feel free. Maybe you'll be able to untangle more than I could. I'm going to talk to the kids and see if that helps clear anything up."

( o ) ( o ) ( o )

There were a few phone calls that Cragen really hated receiving: calls from the chief saying one of his detectives had pulled something stupid, calls from the hospital or one of his detectives saying one of his people had been hurt on the job, or calls from One PP putting his unit in charge of a case that was so sensitive it could explode in all of their faces any second. As he set the phone back into its cradle he wouldn't help thinking that the call he'd just gotten was the worst of the three options. At least at the moment it was. Ever since the mess in the squad room a few months ago all eyes had been on SVU, and not in a good way. One minor slip up and they could all be in more hot water than anyone could escape from, even with a life jacket. The absolute last thing they needed was a high priority case involving a government official, and that was exactly what they had now. Screw it up and they'd all be boiled like lobsters. There was a good possibility they'd continue in lobster-like fashion and be served on platters for the police commissioner and chief of detectives to tear apart too.

As his people started to filter into the squad room he quickly rose from his chair and left his office.

"Munch, Fin, I need you with the Park Milano over by Fifth," Cragen told his detectives urgently.

"What's up?" Fin asked.

"Maid says a guest sexually assaulted her in the presidential suite."

"We're on it, Captain," Munch assured as he and his partner changed course.

Olivia turned the corner into the room just as Cragen was done with Munch and Fin. Unfortunately there was no rest for the weary, and despite the fact that Olivia's previous case had ended with two abusive parents and an uncle who was more than content to watch the violence and use the kids as his personal cleaning service, there was no time to lose. The only thing he could offer her was a quick apology.

"Olivia, sorry about your weekend. Meet the vic at Bellevue and get a prelim."

Thankfully she just lifted her hands in a "it's fine, not your fault" type of gesture. Cragen turned to the room as a whole then, needing to get their attention.

"Alright, listen. Color inside the lines. The suspect is Roberto Distasio, odds on favorite to be Italy's next prime minister."

Meaning they couldn't afford any screw ups. They couldn't even afford anything that came within a mile of a screw up.

While his people dispersed to their prospective jobs to work the case he couldn't totally keep down the worry boiling up inside of him. This was no time for his detectives to be at anything other than their best. His eyes drifted to Olivia, locking onto her back as she left the squad room to head to Bellevue. She hadn't uttered a word since she'd come in, and there was exhaustion in her eyes. Thankfully that wasn't playing too much across her face. Tired or not though, she was good with victims. She'd be okay.

It was only a short time later when his concern ratcheted up a few notches. Fin's information about Distacio's impending departure from the States was a major cause for concern. If that plane took off their case took off with it. With Distacio's laptop left at the hotel, they might have a chance though. A chance as thin as a knife, but still a chance.

"If he gets on that plane, he's gone for good. Stall him. Have the hotel tell him they're bringing it to him. Get there before wheels up."

Without wasting a moment he headed toward the elevator to try to head off some of this mess. The young blonde woman stepping off the elevator with a box in hand meant nothing to him until she called out. The moment she explained who she was the face clicked in Cragen's mind. Of all days to pick to arrive it had to be this one. Trying to get a new detective set up in the unit took quite a bit of work. The fact that Rollins was new to the NYPD as well would only mean more work. He didn't need anything more on his plate, but he wasn't going to turn down her desire to come with him and help. There simply wasn't enough time to do anything besides continue to move forward. Amanda Rollins would just need to take it all in stride, and she seemed ready to do just that. In the back of Cragen's mind buried so far down that it was barely audible thanks to today's mess he couldn't help wondering if Olivia would handle Rollins' arrival as well as the new detective was handling the sudden catapult into a major case. Cragen seriously doubted it. He hadn't managed to come up with a way to really discuss Rollins' arrival with Olivia yet. Of course he hadn't had an individual talk with any of the others either, but they were in the right frame of mind to understand. It was possible they had even expected him to hire someone new on before he'd even told them. Not Olivia though.

His concerns about how Benson would take the new arrival were quickly submerged as his thoughts returned to the case and getting Rollins up to date. He could worry about Olivia's reactions later. For the moment there was far too much work to do.

It was only a few minutes after arriving at the crime scene that Cragen received a call from Olivia.

"Vic said she spit it out in the bathroom."

After quickly directing CSU in that direction he turned his attention back to Olivia.

"Got it. CSU is looking now."

As he hung up he couldn't help feeling slightly pleased with the strength he'd heard in Olivia's voice. She was on her game today.

When Cragen received confirmation from Melinda that they'd found the mix of saliva and semen on the bathroom floor his relief grew exponentially. Now that they had some solid forensic evidence they were in a bit better shape. As long as Fin and Munch caught up to Distacio before he left the country there was a chance this case wouldn't be quite as impossible as he'd originally thought. Still difficult, yes, but not impossible.

Once Cragen and his unit returned to the precinct the game began, and big shot after big shot walked through the door to join in. Thankfully not all of them were batting for Distacio. Regardless, this was turning out to be the major leagues. As Cragen aided Cabot and Cutter he couldn't help his mind from shifting to Olivia briefly. The case would be in trouble if she didn't use her A game with this victim. Soon after the thought came to mind he brushed it away. Olivia was one of his best. While she hadn't pulled herself completely together yet, she would know how important this case was. Cragen had little doubt that almost all of her focus would be on the victim and the case. The small part of it that was lingering on Elliot should be controllable. He would know for sure when she got back, but until then he would have to trust her.

Thankfully he didn't have to wait too long. When the squad room suddenly became as silent as an empty courtroom he glanced toward the window to determine the cause. Olivia had just walked in with their victim. From what he could tell she was being just as protective as she usually was. Good. He kept half an eye on her as she made her way to his office only to put a full eye on her when she was waylaid by their new detective.

"Detective Benson?"

Olivia turned back, and Amanda continued as she reached out her hand to her new coworker.

"Amanda Rollins."

"Ah, transfer from Dallas, right?"

Had Cragen been able to hear that he would have been restraining a sigh. Of course Olivia hadn't been paying that much attention when he'd discussed Amanda's pending arrival with the squad. Thankfully Rollins didn't seem that put off by it.

"Well, Atlanta. You like Distacio for this?"

"Ah, he was there," Olivia replied, completely unwilling to spend any time discussing her beliefs about the case with someone she didn't know but still trying to be polite.

Even without the words Cragen could read it all from where he was sitting. Olivia was trying to push Rollins away, or more appropriately brush off someone she didn't think was significant. Given the case they were in the midst of he could understand, but it didn't bode well. As Olivia turned away to continue toward his office and was called back by Rollins again, Cragen caught the minor flash of impatience on her face before she schooled it back into a neutral mask and turned around.

"Ah, hey, I just wanted to let you know that I'm really happy to be here. I… um… I've studied a lot of your cases. I used some of the stuff you did on the Brown case, the infant homicides."

"Uh, yeah," Olivia returned distractedly as she glanced once more toward Cragen's office.

Her captain could almost feel her frustration and unwillingness to deal with this. Of course, Amanda hadn't exactly picked the best time either.

"I haven't briefed the captain yet, so thank you."

As Olivia began toward his office Cragen turned his full attention back to his meeting. When she walked in Cutter pounced on her like a cat on a laser pointer light.

"So where are we on the victim's statement?"

"Solid, backwards and forwards."

Now that she was close and discussing the case Cragen was pleased to see the determination and confidence radiating off Olivia. She was focused and on the ball. He couldn't ask for anything better. As the discussion continued, Olivia drifted to the viewing window to get her first look at Distacio and then turned away to look out of his office window into the bullpen. Even though Cutter continued the conversation with him, Cragen's eyes were on Olivia. A sinking feeling rushed over him. Maybe he'd spoken too soon when he'd thought she was on the ball.

Olivia's eyes were locked on the desk just on the other side of the window. Stabler's. The distant look he'd grown far too used to seeing recently had entered her eyes again. She'd checked out. He knew it. When she didn't immediately fill in Cutter's question about what they had on the maid, which only she had the answer to, Cragen's suspicions were confirmed. He needed to call her back, quickly.

"Liv?"

Her head snapped toward him, and she apologized immediately before starting in on her answer. Cragen was glad to see that she'd heard the question and hadn't tumbled too far into the dark abyss that her mind went to when she thought of Elliot. More importantly her answer provided the solid details he would have expected from her. She was still doing good work despite the moments of distraction, and he could deal with that for now.

After both Cutter and Olivia had left the office Alex turned toward him.

"I heard about the shooting."

If she was bringing this up it meant she'd noticed Olivia's behavior as well.

"Is Stabler coming back?"

"It's up to him," Cragen answered.

He knew it would be hell for Olivia if he didn't, but Cragen wasn't sure if even their partnership would be enough to bring Elliot back. Shooting a child wasn't something you go over easily, if you got over it at all. While Cragen knew Olivia would be understanding if Elliot chose to leave, it would still hurt her deeply. Not that she wasn't hurting now.

( o ) ( o ) ( o )

"It's been a tough few months. We all know there's a bullseye on SVU from the top down," Cragen told his assembled squad after their victim had identified Distacio. "We are all under the microscope. We work this case by the book like our jobs depend on it."

And, in a way, they did.

"DA's office is going to put Miriam and her kids up at a hotel. Keep them away from the circus," Liv told him.

"Good. Distacio's got a world class PR team. He's going to try to get to her or dirty her or both," the captain answered.

"Romeo's ready for his forensic exam," Fin informed.

"Don't let your feelings get in the way, detective. You and Liv take him out a side door. No cameras. No perp walk," Cragen warned.

He was sincerely hoping that his two detectives listened to the warning. Of course he knew his people, and they probably would do just the opposite of what he'd asked regardless.

"No doubt. We're professionals, Captain," Fin assured.

Right. Professionals. Sometimes Cragen wondered about that.

( o ) ( o ) ( o )

They say that if you're already underwater a few more feel on top doesn't make the drowning worse. At the moment Cragen would disagree. His squad was partially in shambles, this case was the highest stakes they'd had in a long time, and now IAB was in his office adding those extra feet. If that wasn't enough, the second the group from Internal Affairs walked out Olivia was in his office, the look on her face clear. She knew something was up, and she was damn well going to find out what it was. Cragen suspected, however, that she had a pretty good idea of the reason for their visit already.

"What does IAB want?"

Cragen watched her for a moment without saying a word. He didn't need to speak. She would know what the silence meant.

"That was a good shooting, Captain. Elliot was cleared."

"On that one. Now Internal Affairs wants to go over his entire jacket."

"Let 'em. There's nothing to find," Olivia insisted, her voice starting to become laced with heat.

"Liv, if it was his first good shooting, okay maybe even his second," Cragen began as he stood and moved toward her, "But it's his sixth. The whole squad is on notice."

"So what, he's going to be the sacrificial lamb? You're just going to give him up?"

The heat had bumped up a few notices again, and the accusation was strong. It was also ridiculous. She was speaking without thinking. Even so, it stung him a little bit.

"You know me better than that. He's like a son to me. I've been pushing as hard as I can."

Olivia turned away, obviously not liking what she was hearing. Cragen knew she wasn't going to like what else he had to say either and took a steadying breath before continuing.

"I just don't know how it's going to shake out."

She whipped toward him, eyes flashing.

"What does that mean?"

"It means," he began, his voice rising in volume to remind her who the superior was, "that if Elliot wants to keep his job he's going to have to submit to a psych eval, anger management, a lot of hoops."

"And he'll tell them to go to hell," she snapped before storming out of his office.

Her actions were bordering on disrespectful, but he let it go. For now he was still willing to give her a bit of leniency. He didn't have time to consider how much longer that would last since John was already at his door. It would be something to consider later.

"I'm afraid I have more bad news," Munch told him. "Team Distacio just swung an appellate court review of his bail."

Cragen nodded humorlessly. Of course. When it rained, it poured. Like he didn't have enough to worry about…

"Great…"

( o ) ( o ) ( o )

There were certain cases that created a buzz in the news, but only a few of those brought the buzzing into the police community. Rumors, discussions, bits and pieces of case gossip were floating around everywhere in the precinct. Even if you didn't want to listen, it was hard not to overhear. Cragen knew from experience that you couldn't trust everything on the rumor mill. In all honesty, you likely couldn't trust even half of the things on the rumor mill to be completely accurate. Unfortunately he couldn't come up with a reason why this particular piece of disturbing information would be fabricated. Which detectives or ADAs on the case believed the victim and which didn't was something people would want to get right.

According to rumor, Olivia Benson fell into the latter category.

And Cragen didn't want to believe it. If there was one of his people that he could always count on to trust the victims, to believe in them, it was Olivia. The fact that she didn't made him wonder if the cause was the victim herself or Olivia. Her state of mind was tilting drastically toward depression and distrust. With her footing so shaky she'd even begun to lose the part of her that had stood out since her first day on the squad. She fought for the victims, stood by them, and believed in them even when no one else would. Twelve years hadn't managed to diminish that. Until now.

Maybe Elliot's absence had done more than make her trip. Maybe it had caused her to fall completely.

Cragen seriously hoped not because if that was the case, she was done.

When Cragen put the phone down a few hours later there was more weight behind the thought that he could lose what was likely one of the best SVU detectives anywhere. The limbo Olivia and the squad had been in since the shooting was officially over. Elliot had put in his papers. He was done, and there was nothing Cragen could do to change that. The era of Benson and Stabler was over. Somehow Olivia was going to have to deal with the fact that her partner of almost 13 years was no longer her partner. The choice of how was hers.

Cragen was dreading the conversation he would need to have with her. Thankfully she was still in court, so for the moment he didn't need to have the answer to the difficult question of how he would explain the loss of her partner to her. There really was no good answer. No matter how gently he put it the news would burn her. The concern he'd had for her the past few months was nothing compared to what he was about to face. There was no doubt in his mind that Olivia would be hardly recognizable as herself once the news sunk in. Elliot was too much of a part of her. For her, doing this job without him would be like learning to function without a limb. He knew she was capable of finding her way through, but he didn't know if she would even be willing to try. Change was always hard and after twelve years… He just didn't know.

( o ) ( o ) ( o )

Two hours had never felt so short before. Olivia was back and the dreaded moment had arrived. He was about to break her into a thousand tiny pieces. Like Humpty Dumpty. Cragen just prayed that unlike the nursery rhyme Olivia would be able to put herself back together again.

After taking one more moment to collect and prepare himself he stepped out of his office to call her in.

"Liv."

With that he turned back toward his office knowing she would follow. As he went he couldn't help catching John's words.

"Nice working with you."

God he hoped those words wouldn't prove true when everything was said and done. Before he was ready she was there in his office, talking about the case and alleviating his fear of her best trait going down the drain. Too bad it didn't ease any of the other fears.

"I don't think she was lying about being raped."

Liv, it doesn't even matter anymore. It's as unimportant as an ant is to a grizzly bear compared to what you're going to be facing now.

"Can you close the door please?" he requested gently.

Olivia did as he asked without a word, and he could see the change in her eyes. She knew something was up, something bad. Her expression was perfectly clear. The hammer was about to drop, and she could sense it. Cragen took one more deep breath before coming right out and saying it.

"Elliot put his papers in."

Cragen watched her closely, waiting for her response. All he got was a bottomless stare. She knew what that meant, but she didn't want to believe it. Even so, she couldn't deny the truth, and Cragen could almost see her crumbling. While she was holding it together, barely, he saw the cracks. If she let the truth sink in too deeply right now she would be crushed under the weight of it all.

"There's nothing I could do."

"He's earned it."

"And then some."

He wanted to reach out to her, but instead offered the only thing he could even though he knew she wouldn't accept.

"Do you want to talk?"

"No."

"Do you want to take a day?"

Her eyes drifted away for a moment as she fought for control. She was failing, but Cragen had no intention of pointing it out. Right now she didn't need to be strong. She was still trying to be even though her voice broke on the answer. Personally he was impressed she was managing to hold in the tears he knew were pressing harder and harder against her eyes. It just went to show how much this was affecting her. Olivia never let her emotions show.

"I'm fine."

No, she wasn't. He knew that. Unfortunately there wasn't anything more he could do.

"Liv… I'm sorry."

She smiled at him like she understood, like it wasn't a big deal. Her walls were trembling but still she managed to hold them up, to continue to be the unbreakable Detective Benson. But she was breakable. He knew that. He'd seen it. Just never as bad as this time.

When she left his office he kept his eyes on her. She returned to her desk automatically but simply stood there, dazed. A few of the detectives had glanced at her, but it wasn't until Munch had doled out the next assignment that Olivia pulled her control back together. When she answered him it sounded like nothing was wrong. It was a total lie. As she turned away and started down the empty hallway toward the interrogation rooms Cragen knew he was right. She couldn't break in front of anyone else, but she couldn't hold it all in either.

Her world had just imploded. Cragen couldn't help but wonder if she'd be able to hold onto all of the pieces until she was truly alone.

Or if she'd be able to hold onto them at all.