Author's notes: I thought I'd post the next chapter before tomorrow's new episode, when I'll inevitably become disenchanted with everyone again. Thank you so much for the responses to this story, your reviews will help me make it through midterms Thanks again to Tunedtochords for the beta.

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Chapter Two

XXX

"Hello?""

She could feel herself grinning. "Hey, Monkey, it's me."

"Callie, hi! Did you get a new phone?"

"Yup.."

"Cool, then I get to keep this one?"

"Wait a minute, I never said that." She tore open a box of spaghetti, hoping the sound would cover her laughter.

"Aww, c'mon, you don't need two."

"Fine, you can keep it for now. Just don't go crazy."

"How could I? This thing doesn't even get Angry Birds." She checked to make sure the water was at a good boil, before adding the noodles. "What are you doing?"

"Making dinner. Lena had a meeting, so I thought I'd save her some time."

"Cool. Can I come over?"

"Aww, you trust my cooking that much?"

"No, but meeting days means Stef sometimes picks up dessert."

"I see how it is." She glanced at the clock above the stove. "Sorry, bud, but everyone should be here in half an hour. I don't think I could walk there and back in time. Plus, I need to finish."

"B will be there soon, he could come get me."

"It would be rude to ask him at the last minute like that." Not to mention incredibly awkward. Clamping the phone between her ear and shoulder, she searched for a pan to brown the hamburger.

"Want me to do it? I have his number."

"Since when?" She struggled to move the pasta to the back burner without dropping the phone. She had not planned this out very well…

"Since forever. Oh, hey, I almost forgot!" Callie smiled, despite the difficulty of cooking and talking at the same time. She would never get over hearing excitement in her brother's voice. "Guess who I saw today!"

"No idea."

"Janet!"

It took her several seconds to remember who he was talking about. "Wow, our Janet? Are you serious?"

"Yup. She's gonna come live here with me. Isn't that crazy? We never have the same foster siblings twice."

"Yeah, really crazy… Hey, jude, I need both hands to do this. I'll call you back later, okay?"

"Okay."

"No texting Brandon."

"Fine."

"Or Mariana."

"Okay, okay. Bye, sis."

"Bye, love ya. Hey, or Jesus!"

He had already hung up. Dropping her phone on the breakfast bar, she tried to concentrate on cooking, but most of her mind was on Janet. They had shared a room for six months at the Olmsted's, before Janet had been unexpectedly moved. Callie was pretty sure a good third of her clothes upstairs actually belonged to her, and the stuffed rabbit sitting on her bed definitely did. Still, that wasn't what was giving her pause.

It was something she'd brought up in therapy the week before, when they'd been talking around Liam, as they so often did. "He's done this to other girls, I know it. I just wish I could find them…"

"Why? What would you say?"

"I don't know. It would just be good if I… they could know they weren't alone. The detective said we'd have a stronger case if more people came forward."

Until this moment, she hadn't ever considered the possibility that Janet could be on that list. Liam had hated her, hadn't he? Then again, she couldn't trust anything he had said.

If he had done things with Janet, Callie was almost certain he'd kept it at kissing. After all, Janet had been living there long before she and Jude had arrived. Was that why Janet was… the way she was?

An angry hiss from the meat jolted her back to the present, and she quickly turned down the burner. These were not the things to be thinking about the first time she tried making dinner for the family by herself. It was exam week at Anchor Beach, so everyone was stretched extra thin. Callie had texted Stef at lunch, offering to be in charge of dinner. Stef had immediately sent back several relieved emojis, with a promise to handle all of the clean up. She would have loved for Jude to be here, but he would be yet another distraction. If he was here, she would definitely put off talking to Lena for another night.

It had been nearly a week since the party. She and Brandon were civil, but mostly avoiding each other. Which would be fine, if it were the only casualty of that night. Since then, she'd felt herself starting to freak out two times at school between classes, and once at work, when she'd ended up closing alone with her boss's husband.

Nothing had been as bad as that time with Brandon, but they happened out of nowhere. One minute she'd been slipping on recently mopped floor, the next, she was nearly punching Logan in the face for grabbing her by the shoulders. Things like this had happened after first moving in with the Fosters, but she had figured that was because everything with Liam was still so fresh.

Now, here they were halfway through June, and she felt like she was backsliding. She had therapy on Thursday, but things were getting worse, not better, and Callie knew she had to suck it up and try to broach the subject with Lena before then. If she could only figure out where to begin…

XXX

Dinner went well, despite the fact she'd forgotten to make a vegetarian version of the sauce, and undercooked the garlic bread. True to her word, Stef recruited Jesus to clean, quizzing him on biology as they washed dishes. Brandon disappeared upstairs, and Mariana was curled up in the living room, half-pretending to study, but mostly watching the season finale of Pretty Little Liars.

It was now or never. she crept upstairs, looking for Lena. Callie found her sitting on her bed, staring down at her laptop. The door was halfway open, but she stayed in the hall. There were some places in this house she just didn't enter.

"Uh, Lena?" she asked, after two minutes of standing and waiting for her to look up. She must have been quieter than she'd thought, because Lena startled, nearly dumping her computer to the floor.

"Oh, Callie! You surprised me. Did you need something?"

"I just had a quick question."

"All right." Lena closed the folder she'd been consulting. There was an awkward pause. "I'm listening."

"Okay." She opened and closed her mouth several times, staring from a spot on their bedspread to an outdated family picture. God, say something already! She was wasting Lena's time, this was stupid, she was so stupid—

"I think this will work better if you come in here." Lena crossed the room, placing a hand at the small of Callie's back and guiding her to sit down on Stef's side of their bed. "Okay, do you wanna try again?" She asked, her back to Callie, as she closed their door the rest of the way.

Suddenly, the room felt far too small. "Y'know, it's really not a good idea.' She jumped up, nearly colliding with Lena as she paced back to the door. "I'm sorry I bothered you, I know you're super busy with finals."

A hand landed lightly between her shoulder blades. "The kids are busy with finals. I'm just wrapping things up for the year. They can wait." God, how was Lena always so calm? She shook her head, taking several deliberately deep breaths, attempting to loosen the knot of tension settling in her breastbone.

"Okay." She paced back to the bed, pulling a throw pillow into her lap. Wow, this really did feel like therapy. "Is there a word for… It's just lately, I've been…" That same warm hand settled back on her shoulder, and she released a shaky sigh.

"Anyway. Last weekend, at the party, there was this guy…" then The whole story came tumbling out, even the part about the beer, which she'd meant to keep to herself. "I know I should have stayed," she babbled. "I know I should have kept an eye on Mariana — I would kill anyone who tried to touch her, but I just panicked. I'm so sorry, Lena."

"Callie—"

"There were so many people, and I didn't know anyone, and it felt like he was right there. I know he wasn't, but I keep seeing—"

"Callie, honey, slow down." Lena leaned forward, making eye contact before clasping Callie's hands in both of hers. "You don't need to apologize for anything. You aren't responsible for Jesus and Mariana. We didn't send you to that party to chaperone. If the twins chose to drink — and believe me, I will be having a discussion about that with them shortly — that is on them, not you. Do you understand?" Lena held her gaze until she was able to nod.

"All right." Seemingly satisfied, Lena reached for her laptop. "Do you know what post traumatic stress disorder is?"

She blinked at this sudden segue. "Uh, yeah, isn't it something that soldiers get?"

"Sort of. PTSD can effect anyone who has gone through a traumatic event." Lena turned her computer screen so they could both see it. "Sometimes it comes on right away, but it can also crop up after several months, or even years."

"Wait, you're telling me I have some kind of disorder?" Callie scooted away from the computer, even though it was showing nothing more harmless than WebMD. "I went through all that with my therapist. She said I'm not depressed." In fact, Karen had called Callie resilient, which she'd secretly liked.

"Let me finish." Lena didn't raise her voice, but she knew it was more than a simple request. "One of the symptoms of PTSD is re-experiencing a traumatic event. This can be brought on by smells, or even songs on the radio. Sometimes we don't even know why it happens. Does that make sense?"

She opened her mouth, but no words came out. She did not have some kind of mental disorder. She was not crazy, she could not be crazy. Liam had called her crazy, had said she was a psycho bitch. He could not be right.

"Callie?"

"I'm not crazy." These things Lena was describing, they were about some other person. They couldn't be about her. She was fine. She had been completely fine until last weekend, and she would keep being completely fine now. This was just some stupid thing brought on by end of the year stress. She was not crazy. Scrambling off the bed, she backed rapidly toward the door, needing to get away from lena and her stupid computer.

"I'm not crazy, I'm not." Her breathing was becoming shallow, chest going tight like before, when she'd been alone with Brandon. "I can't—" she stopped, tried to take in a full breath, to think of the coping mechanisms Karen had taught her for when she was feeling overwhelmed. God, did Karen secretly think she had this… thing, too? Maybe they all did, and they just hadn't told her. She shook her head, wanting to ward off the tears that were already brimming in her eyes.

"Why can't you be crazy?" Lena had been quiet for so long, Callie had nearly convinced herself she'd left.

"What?"

Lena closed her computer. "You keep using that word, why can't you be crazy?"

"I… he told me I was a crazy bitch. He said I was lying, but I'm not, I promise I'm not…" She could taste the tears, and she threw both hands up to cover her face, felt more than saw Lena come up to stand beside her.

"Callie, right now you're being triggered."

She shook her head, not entirely sure what she was disagreeing with, but knowing it had to be wrong, because all of this was wrong.

"You remember when I said people didn't always realize what their triggers were?" Lena was guiding her backwards, pushing on her shoulders to sit. She smoothed hair out of Callie's face, and suddenly this didn't feel like therapy at all.

"Yeah," she managed. It was easier to listen to Lena without that stupid computer. She was so calm, so quiet, even though Callie was acting like a spaz. She thought she might apologize, if she could get her breath back.

The bed shifted, and Lena sat close beside her. If she were Stef, Callie might have hugged her. Did she want a hug right now? She couldn't be sure. But Lena didn't try to touch her, , and she didn't ask. They sat still for a long time, until Callie's chest wasn't so tight, and she could think a little clearer.

"So, I have this thing?" She ventured, trying to keep her voice from trembling.

"These are symptoms of a disorder." Had Lena looked that tired when she had first come in? She didn't think so. "I think you should talk about this with Karen on Thursday."

"I know, I'm going to. I just wanted to ask you first. I didn't think I'd… give you a prime example, but…" When Lena smiled, her whole face relaxed. "What?"

"I'm glad you came and talked to me."

"Yeah, me too." She found that saying it made it true. If she had to lose her shit in front of someone, it might as well be Lena. Callie used the last bit of her waning courage to clasp her hand.

XXX

"Hey, Callie." Brandon tapped on Mariana's half open door. "Uh, can I come in?"

She remained sprawled on her stomach, staring stubbornly down at The Catcher in the Rye. "Not my room. Do whatever you want."

"C'mon, that's not true." Brandon sounded sincere, but she still refused to look directly at him. "Jeez, you're worse than the twins." He took a seat in Mariana's desk chair, turning it to face her. "Listen, I'm really sorry about the other night. I didn't see your text until later, when Jesus told me you had been ditched."

"So?""

"So, nothing. It wasn't cool of me to ignore you, and then you got home and I was a dick."

She couldn't help gaping, knowing the surprise was all over her face. Callie was used to boys ignoring her requests for help, never mind apologizing for it. "It's okay. I'm sorry about Talya. I didn't even hear your moms come home, otherwise I might have tried to bang on the ceiling or something." She knew the joke would fall flat even before she said it. Mentioning Talia brought up the real reason Brandon was here.

He sighed, confirming her suspicions. "Are you really scared of me?"

"No."

"Seriously, Callie."

She sat up, wrapping both arms around bent knees. "It's complicated."

"How? I'd never hurt you. Ask anyone, I punch like a girl."

"You saying I can't punch?" Brandon remained stone faced. God, did she really want to do this? She was still warn out from her conversation with Lena, and she had the rest of this chapter to read before she could even think about going to bed. But he was looking at her with sad eyes that probably made half the girls at Anchor Beach swoon, and she really did owe him some sort of explanation.

"How much do you know about my last foster home?" Stef and Lena had told their kids some edited version of the story, but Callie had never asked for specifics. It was likely that Brandon had heard more from Jude, anyway.

"Not a whole lot. I know you had some problems with a foster brother." He hesitated. "Does this have anything to do with why Jude asked if I was your boyfriend last month?"

"He WHAT?!" She didn't remember standing up, but suddenly her hand was on Mariana's nightstand, searching for her phone. "I will kill him!" Bottles of nail polish clattered to the floor, but she barely noticed.

"Whoa, calm down." Brandon put a hand on her shoulder, and he nearly got to experience one of her "girly" punches first hand.

"Hey, what's going on? What are you doing to my stuff?" Mariana burst in from the connecting door to the bathroom. "Callie, what are you looking for? Your phone's right there."

She turned to where Mariana was pointing, seeing her phone charging innocently on their desk. As quickly as it had come, the adrenaline rush left her, and she dropped to her knees. "God, I'm sorry, Mariana."

"That's okay, CJ." Out of the corner of one eye, she saw Mariana pin Brandon with her best version of the Stef stare. "What did you do?"

"Nothing!"

Callie finished gathering up the makeup she'd spilled, as well as several magazines she hadn't. "It's kind of a private conversation."

"Great, I love secrets." Mariana made herself comfortable on her bed, staring at her expectantly.

Callie ran a heavy hand across her face, thinking. She had always figured that if she told anyone what had happened, it would be Mariana. She deserved to know why her foster sister was jumping at shadows, and probably waking her up with nightmares. But she just couldn't tonight. Liam was fresh in her mind from the conversation with Lena, and the idea that Jude had known about them the whole time made her want to be sick.

"It's just really complicated." If possible, Brandon looked even more guilty. "What did you say to Jude?"

"I just told him I was your friend, and reminded him about Talya."

She wasn't sure "friend" exactly applied to their relationship, but she nodded. "Okay, thank you. Just… will you let me know if he asks anymore weird questions?"

"It would help if we knew what to look out for," Mariana interjected. Her face must have changed, because she abruptly sat fully upright, suddenly concern. "But we don't need to talk about it tonight. B, weren't you going to help Jesus study for algebra?"

"Uh, yeah." Brandon gave her a long look, before finally getting to his feet.

"We're all good, Brandon," she offered, desperate to get that kicked puppy look off his face.

"Kay." He smiled, but it was distracted. "See you." He closed their door as he left, and Callie sagged back onto her bed. Holden Caufield could wait. Right now, she just needed to sleep for as long as possible. She tried to find the energy to get up and change the alarm on her phone. The desk had never seemed so far away.

"Are you going to bed?" Mariana was still watching her.

"Yeah."

"With your shoes on?"

She moaned, sitting up to toe them off. At least her phone was a bit closer now. Ugh, she might as well get up and brush her teeth. She walked into the bathroom, not bothering to close the door behind herself.

"CJ?" Mariana came up next to her, reaching for her moisturizer.

"Hmm?" She asked around a mouthful of toothpaste, automatically making room for her at the sink. The other one was free, but it unofficially belonged to Jesus, as evidenced by the globs of dried toothpaste around the rim. She didn't want to even begin to think about what kinds of bacteria were growing in there.

"You know you can tell me stuff, right?" Mariana tried to catch her gaze in the mirror.

'Of course." She started swinging the door to the medicine cabinet open and closed.

"I know we've never really talked about it, but Jesus and me, we remember what things are like in the system." Mariana's small hand covered her own, stilling the cabinet door. "It's none of my business, but if there's ever something you don't feel comfortable talking to moms about, you can come to me. If you want."

"Thanks, 'Ana." The nickname slipped out without much thought, but by the way Mariana's whole body tensed, she instantly knew she'd said something wrong.

"Ana is my birth mom. I'm Mari."

She winced. "Okay, sorry." God, she'd never wanted to recognize that flat, slightly vacant stare, not from Mariana. Her life was supposed to be easy, full of guys and gossip. Impulsively, she threw both arms around her foster sister, remembering too late she was still holding her toothbrush. Mariana shrieked as her shirt was smeared with toothpaste, but she hugged back all the same. "You can come to me, too, Mari. Anytime."

"Oh, gross, girly moment." Jesus burst in from his own room, jostling his twin.

"Hello, knock first?" Mariana used her elbow to push him backwards. "Be glad that's all you saw." Callie just raised an eyebrow, gesturing to his sink with the handle of her toothbrush.

"What? What are you looking at?"

"Hopeless." Mariana rolled her eyes, squeezing her arm before flouncing back into their bedroom.

Suddenly, Callie wasn't so sure.