The Ultimate Filler
The Ultimate Filler
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own Naruto. Un!
Um, right, so whatever I know about kimono, I learnt from the book "Memoirs of a Geisha", so feel free to correct/curse me for my mistakes.
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Orochimaru growled. He'd been lying on her body, his lips nibbling at her ears, trying to get her to respond in her sleep. But it was useless. He heaved himself off Hiroku, replaced her braid so it hugged her back, and poked her cheek. She didn't stir. He shook her shoulder roughly, and her eyes fluttered open.
"Sorry, I'm really sorry, we're all out of ramen…" she mumbled. Her eyes latched onto Orochimaru's face. "Oh, hello Oro-chan."
He smiled a very fake, seductive smile, and bent down to her. His tongue traced the contour of her sleep glazed eye and the childish, pinchable curve of her cheek. She shivered. "Oh, hello, Oro-chan…"
He grinned, genuinely, wickedly.
She writhed under him in a perfect, rhythmic way, responding to his touch without over reacting. He kissed her neck, his favorite spot in females, he kissed, sucked, bit and licked her raw until she was begging for him. He picked up her legs and nearly fucked her through the thin tatami mattress.
He got up once his breathing was back to a normal-ish rate, slipping on his robe as she retied her obi-jime.
"Oro-chan," she began, and he stopped to listen for the usual post-sex response he got. 'Best ever' was a popular one, but maybe he'd been tender enough to confuse an 'I love you' from her?
"My ass hurts. My legs can barely hold me up…can you tie my obi for me?"
He chuckled to himself as he complied. She would do just fine.
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Hiroku sat in the hallway, legs crossed, her long wet tresses swinging forth as she dried them with a cotton towel. Towel, comb, towel, comb. It was a nightmare at best, taking care of hair so thick and long.
"That looks like it would take forever," Kabuto opined, taking a turn into the hallway. She peered up towards him, nodding sadly. "I have to keep combing or you wouldn't believe how tangled it gets. Take me another hour at least to finish."
He frowned. "Breakfast?"
"Already made it, it's waiting in the kitchen," Hiroku said proudly, "I found my way there this morning. But then I got lost on my way back so I took a bath in the first room I could find."
He sighed. "I should talk to sempai-sama about putting up some signs for you. You can read, right?"
Hiroku nodded. "Of course, I was a concubine, not a peasant."
"Let me help," he said on a whim. She looked surprised. "Can you take care of hair?"
The medic shrugged. "I've perfected the most difficult medical ninjutsu. I could kick Sasuke-kun's ass for at least a half hour before he killed me if I took him by surprise. I am an accomplished spy. How hard could drying hair be?"
She still had a shadow of a doubt on her face but handed him the lacquered black comb, delicate as a spider web, decorated with silver threads across its top, its teeth fine points of ebony.
"Very delicately now," she warned. Kabuto was already kicking himself, what if he broke the comb? It just seemed so…flimsy!
The minute he touched the comb to her dark tresses, it appeared, she jerked away.
"No, no, not that way! You'll rip out my hair! Here, dry me, I'll comb."
Well that would be easier. He'd dried his own hair before, hadn't he? But no—he was doing this wrong too.
"Kabuto-sannnnn," she huffed, "You are a man. Don't treat my hair like you would yours, it'll become all rough and dry!"
He gave up and rose, only to find Sasuke watching, something like amusement flitting in his eyes. "And here I thought you couldn't be more of a pansy."
Kabuto snatched up his papers and fled.
Hiroku gazed reprovingly at the Uchiha. "Sasuke-kun can be quite mean if he wishes, no?"
Red eyes flashed annoyance at her. "You took a bath in my room. The place was all steamy when I awoke. Did you spend the night with me?"
"No," she said, and explained about getting lost.
"Hmmm. I should talk to Orochimaru about putting up some signs for you. You can read, right?"
"Yes," she replied, irritated, "I was a concubine, not a peasant."
He ignored her and moved past. That noon, Orochimaru came to her with a large bundle of cards, some ink, and kanji stencils.
"Write all the places you can think of you would need to go," he instructed, "Make milestones, like kitchen 20 meters away, and so on. Give them to Kabuto when you're done; he'll put them up for you."
"Thank you, Oro-chan," she said, bowing elegantly. Orochimaru made a tutting noise.
"How did you know about us?"
She grinned. "When I came to this town, I was nearly broke, and completely tired of traveling. I was looking for someone to work for, but finding no one, I left…then I saw you and Kabuto-san training one day, a few miles north of here. You were strong. I could trust you to keep me safe, if I was on your side. Kabuto-san seemed kind. I came back to the village, assuming you lived there. I saw Kabuto-san again, buying fish, and I followed him back to the hideout. I observed for a few days and approached Sasuke-kun because he seemed the most likely to let me in."
Orochimaru laughed. "A clever one after all, or is it the famous woman's intuition? Either way, I have to teach Sasuke a new jutsu, so I'll be leaving. Take care."
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Sasuke frowned at his breakfast, as though something about it had offended him personally. Hiroku noticed. "Sasuke-kun does not like his meal?" she asked.
"Sasuke-kun has noticed that you have been wearing the same kimono since you got here," he replied tartly. She shrugged. "I have nothing else to wear. I sold all my other kimono for food and travel fare."
Sasuke made a noise that suggested that this conversation was below him and glanced expectantly at Kabuto, who sighed. That kid.
"What Sasuke-kun means is, what will you wear when you wash this one?"
She thought about it. "I will wash the outer robe first, while wearing my obi over my obi-jime, and then I will was the obi and obi-jime wearing the outer robe. Clever, no?"
Orochimaru blanched at the thought of a half naked Hiroku walking the halls. Good grief, who'd ever get any work done? A woman needn't be a beauty to distract men.
"Kabuto," he said, "Take her out today and buy some kimono."
The medic nin scowled. "I don't think so, Orochimaru-sama. With all due respect, you promised to train me today. You've only been teaching Sasuke-kun lately, but I must learn too."
The Sannin rolled his eyes. "Very well. Sasuke-kun, you may take her out."
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"Oh, Sasuke-kun!" Hiroku gasped, handing onto his arm, "They're beautiful! Which should I buy?"
Sasuke shrugged noncommittally, but she wasn't paying attention to him. She'd explained before they'd left that she was going into bargaining mode, whatever that was. He was the accessory, the bill-payer, the shrugger. He was most definitely not in charge.
Hiroku haggled back and forth with the shop manager, occasionally making loud and girlish exclamations over the price of a kimono and whether it shouldn't cost much less. Sasuke tuned her out.
Hiroku nudged him. "Pay," she hissed.
He obliged and walked back, shaking her off his arm and leaving her with the packages. Sasuke made it to the edge of the village before he turned around, waiting for Hiroku.
…waiting for Hiroku…
…waiting…
A tiny crease appeared at the bridge of his nose, just about enough to count as a frown.
"Stupid girl. Women are so pathetically useless, she got lost trying to follow!" he harrumphed. "Well, it's her own problem, she'll find her way back to the den."
But while he was at the village, he might as well take advantage of it. Sasuke headed for the nearest dango stand, near a Buddhist shrine.
As he passed an alley, a movement caught his attention. No, not a movement—a color. A familiar, orange color.
A muffled shriek reached his ears, and he exhaled impatiently. She'd probably been mugged or her new kimono. Sasuke strode into the alley, and paused.
Hiroku was there, yes, but the outer robe of the painfully orange kimono was not on her, nor was her lime green obi. Two men pinned her hands and legs against a wall while a drag queen was dressed loosely in her clothes, hooting as a fourth man fumbled with the obstinate strings of her obi-jime, his left hand clamped over her mouth. Hiroku struggled fiercely, screeching all the while. Her raincloud eyes connected with Sasuke's onyx ones, ad she went limp with relief.
The drag queen caught sight of the Uchiha ad whipped out a rusty knife. "Back, boy," he snarled, "Or I'll carve you to pieces."
"Wait a minute," another hissed, "That's that boy! He beat up the boss!"
Obsidian irises changed to ruby. Four kunai appeared in Sasuke's hands and he flicked them casually. Each found its mark in a hand or foot and, shrieking with pain, the would-be molesters fled.
Hiroku let out her breath sharply in awe. "Uwah, Sasuke-kun, so cool! You're so strong!"
He glanced askance at her as she slipped on her obi and gathered her kimono. "You think that was strength?" he scoffed, "That to me is what crushing an ant is like to you. Absolutely nothing. I am an Uchiha the best of the best. We are geniuses. Even the world's best fighter would barely pass as average before the might of our sharingan.
Hiroku's face burst into a smile. "Oh, you, with your almighty Uchiha-ness! You think carrying that name makes you royal, don't you?"
He turned the full power of his sharingan illusion on her, and she fell down in a heap.
"Manly of you," she spat, "To use such power against me when I'm nothing but a civilian! You and your sharingan can go chase yourselves. You wouldn't last a minute against the rin'nengan! What? You don't know about it? Surprised that I do? I told you before, Sasuke, I was a concubine, not a peasant. I am educated." She rose, shaking, and stormed away.
Sasuke stared after her, furious.
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"I want her out," he yelled, bursting into Orochimaru's quarters, The legendary Sannin looked up from his desk. "Who are you talking about?"
"How many 'hers' are living in this den?" Sasuke snarled in his face. Kabuto had had enough of the brat treating his master like that. He made a seal and cast a restraining jutsu on the boy. Sasuke yelped in surprise.
"Kabuto!" Orochimaru warned. Kabuto looked at the hermit, frustrated. "But he—"
"He is my student. I will deal with him."
Kabuto reluctantly released the jutsu. Sasuke's eyes flashed red as he ran for the other boy, but Orochimaru shot out a hand to halt him, fingers winding around his neck.
"We took you in because I need you. You came to us because you need me. It's a mutual feeling of necessity. Did we not agree that I would teach you as your master, and you would learn as my student and you would gain power in exchange for your body? I don't know what they're like in Konoha nowadays, but in Otogakure, you respect your master. This is not the way a student behaves with his master. Yet, I will put up with insolence but not violence on your part towards Kabuto. Now, about the girl. I heard what happened. And you know, if it bothered you that much why didn't you kill her? Or even harm her in any way? You are still too soft. Had I let you attack Kabuto, you still would have not killed him. Besides, the girl had a point. Being an Uchiha is not the best. I could kill you now if I wished, could I not? Power is not something that is transferred with blood, though sometimes that helps. If being born an Uchiha made you all powerful, you would not seek my help to kill Itachi. Now, I'll let you down and you go back to being the sweet, cold hearted bastard we all know and love, alright?"
Sasuke dropped to the ground, teeth gritted in shame. Kabuto almost felt sorry for him—almost. Orochimaru returned to his work. Sasuke returned to his rooms.
Later, the Sannin cornered Hiroku in the kitchen.
"The boy is still upset. You humiliated him."
She looked up from chopping onions. "Oro-chan, it is his fault. He needs to learn his place, he needs to recognize that the world does not revolve around him. Has it not occurred to you that he may turn on you one day with his Uchiha arrogance? Stupid tunnel visioned bastard."
"He's already done so. I've already proved to him that I am more powerful than his Uchiha blood. Now go apologize."
She whined, objecting.
"He helped you when he honestly couldn't have cared less. He spared your life when you embarrassed him. Do you think it's easy on him? Do not make me repeat myself, I take enough impertinence from one brat and besides, he is still above you in rank. He's my apprentice, and you're just a maid. While I am still breathing, you will obey me!"
Hiroku pouted, but left for the teen's room nonetheless. Kabuto stopped her on her way, pressing a tiny parcel of something into her hand. "Fresh tomatoes. His favorite food," he whispered, his breath tickling her ear. She thanked him and walked into Sasuke's room without knocking.
"Get lost." He was on his bed, back to the door and consequently her.
"I brought tomatoes. I'm here to apologize."
"Kabuto gave you tomatoes. You're here because Orochimaru sent you to apologize."
"Yes," she placed the tomatoes on a desk, and approached him, "But I never thanked you for saving me and my kimono," she said, kissing him on the cheek.
Sasuke turned and pushed her roughly away.
She tutted. "Such a child you are. Anyway, you're right, I am here on Oro-chan's orders. So here it is: I'm sorry Sasuke-kun, I did not mean to insult your clan or your strength. I was only trying to point out that when someone gives you a compliment you should accept it with a smile rather than go on about how it is only a fraction of a decimal of your true potential. Oh, and I'm sorry I called you a tunnel visioned bastard."
He frowned. "You didn't call me a tunnel visioned bastard."
"Not to your face," she admitted.
He glared at her again, invoking the sharingan without meaning to. She placed her hand over her eyes. "Oh, fine, I'm leaving!" she said in a huff, walking out.
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"Kabuto-sannnnn," she whined, "Will you see my new kimono?"
The medic ninja surveyed her sternly. "No."
"But—"
"I said no."
She 'hmph'ed and turned as if to leave. Then, she whirled back around and fell onto Kabuto, arms encircling his neck in a huggle.
"Kabuto-sannnnn, won't you take just a few minutes off work to see the kimono I bought? Please Kabuto-san please, please, please!?"
"Okay, okay, let go…I can't breathe!" he choked out. She beamed warmly at him as he tenderly rubbed his neck, moaning.
"…this blue one was a real bargain, I got it for almost seven hundred yen less than his asking price!"
Kabuto would never admit it in a million years under the torture of the Thousand Years of Death Technique, but the kimono were pretty. She'd bought four: the peacock blue one she was ranting about now with the thousand eyed birds dancing on it, the obi a rich scarlet with a cherry blossom pattern. There was a black kimono with a golden dragon that curled over it, head at the left shoulder and tail at the right ankle, with a flame colored obi. A sunflower kimono was Kabuto's personal favorite, with a dark green obi in a leafy pattern. Finally there was Hiroku's favorite, a gray kimono the color of her eyes, grandly depicting the city of Osaka during a cloud burst, with an obi of soft black and gold to represent thunder and lightning.
"Yes, yes, they're all very nice," Kabuto said impatiently, "Now go clean the kitchen or something, I've work to do." So she went away, looking a bit put out.
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Yay for kimono!