Author's Note: Hey everyone! I have to apologize for being so late with this update. I promise I didn't forget about you guys, I just got caught up with finals, packing up my dorm room, finishing my freshman year of college, and readjusting to being home. Thank you all for your lovely reviews, support and ideas! They have truly been taken to heart. I promise that now I am home for the summer, I will try my hardest to have an update for you all EVERY TUESDAY. Thank you guys so much for sticking with me, I hope you all enjoy this chapter.

DISCLAIMERS:

I DO NOT OWN ROOKIE BLUE OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS ON THE SHOW. I AM SIMPLY A FAN OF SAM AND ANDY.

THIS MAY BE A LITTLE OUT OF CHARACTER FOR BOTH SAM AND ANDY,

Chapter 2

I stop at a red light; I am driving to work in my gray ford F-1-50. I shake my head in exasperation; I still can't believe that last night even happened. What in the world was Andy thinking coming to my house that late at night, no scratch that, I know exactly what she was thinking. I just can't believe she had the audacity to show up to my house and blame everything that happened between us on me. That wasn't what got me though, her words regarding our relationship, they stung me. Not because they were necessarily hurtful but they were true. Everything she said last night was true, but it didn't matter because there was no fixing what we had. It's over and it needed to stay in the past.

"You wanna know why when we hurt each other it felt like hell? There wasn't anything about us that was "safe" We were real. That's what made it hell. But when we had our good days, god they were amazing. That was real, gut wrenching happiness."

I was so lost in thought that I didn't see the light turn green. I was bombarded with the sound of car horns and people yelling at me. "Fuck, it is way too early for this". I can already feel the headache coming on and it's not even 8:00 AM.

As I made it to the station and put the car in park, I sat there for a moment, trying to gather myself and my thoughts. I place my head on the steering wheel and heave out a deep sigh, "How did everything get so fucked up?" I get out of my truck letting out another deep sigh and begin to walk up to the sally port. I hear Oliver call out from beside me

"You look like hell brother, long night?" He asks

I look up at him "You have no idea." I reply

"Wanna talk about it?"

"No, not a chance, brother, but it's nothing a solid 10 hours on the job can't fix."

I was late walking into parade, so I stood at the back waiting for Frank to assign partners for the day.

"To follow up on the case regarding the little girl from yesterday officer McNally you will be working with Detective Swarek for the day".

"Of course she is Fan- efing- tastic." I say sarcastically to myself

"Also remember detective you will be one short today since Nash has gone on a field trip with Leo's school. Alright coppers assignments for the day are as follows: Diaz/Epstein, Collins/Peck, Shaw/Price, and Williams you will be riding alone for the day since Cruz lost the bet last night and has to do everyone's paper work today."

A loud cheer erupted from the room and I could see Marlow roll her eyes. This brought a smile to my face.

"Alright, go out, serve, protect, come back in one piece, and watch your partners back, ALWAYS!"

I was the first one to exit the parade. I headed straight to the coffee machine, and made me the strongest cup ever, and downed 4 aspirins. In the hope that it would help tame the major headache that's plaguing me.

I glance over, after drowning my extreme coffee, and see McNally staring at me. "Alright let's get to work; I don't want us to waste anytime McNally, what developments have occurred in the last 24 hours?" I snap out at her.

I started looking back through my notes from the day before. The only thing we have is that the little girl was a 4 year old Hispanic and she was beaten and mangled to death then thrown in a dumpster located on the corner of 5th and Main Street. I got pulled out of my thoughts by McNally answering my question.

"Right now, we have nothing we have no witnesses and no suspects, we don't even know her name, Sam! We are at a fucking standstill! We don't even know if she has any family. She's just a baby." Her voice lowered and cracked. "No one even seems to be out looking for her." I could practically feel the desperation coming from her voice.

"McNally, we will find this guy, okay? I promise, but I need you to get your head on straight, and calm down. I know this is hard for you but you can't lose yourself. She is a victim and her killer will be brought to justice, but you have got to calm down.

"DON'T TREAT ME LIKE A CHILD SAM; DO NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO OR HOW TO FEEL! Let me see if I can help you understand this; see if you can wrap your brain around this okay? She was a baby, every bone in her body was turned to mush, and she was thrown in a dumpster like some piece of trash! She was NOT A VICTIM! SHE WAS A BABY!

I held my hands up in a protective motion. "Okay, okay. McNally. No one is telling you what to do, but listen to me. I need you to calm down and breathe. You want to help this little girl and find the bastard that did this to her? Then I need you to calm down, you are becoming too emotionally involved in this right now, and that can only make things worse, you know that. We will find this guy, Andy; you just have to trust me. You have to calm down. You're right she is not a victim she is a baby, a baby who needs us, and needs us to be in complete and total focus." I try to placate to her.

"Oh Sam, enough! Of course I am emotionally involved, she was a baby! She was beaten and thrown away like a dirty used up rag doll!" her voice broke on the word. "She will never grow up and fall in love, she will never go to college and have a shot at a successful life, because it was cut short by some sick twisted bastard! Who the hell are you to give me any sort of orders regarding my feelings and how to do MY JOB? Don't tell me that it's hazardous! Okay?! Because I know, I know it is, but this is the part of the job, that doesn't get easier Sam. It gets harder each time we do this. I honestly don't know how much more of this I can take. I am tired, physically and emotionally tired Sam. Our job is to "serve and protect" When I see things like this, I blame us, because we weren't doing our jobs, we weren't protecting. This is our fault. You say that I have become too emotionally involved, but let me tell you something detective; I would rather be emotionally involved then have no emotion at all. Like you, you have nothing Sam, nothing. You are as hard and cold as stone, sometimes I question whether you still have a heart. What happened to you?"

"ANDY THAT'S ENOUGH! I snapped at her, no longer able to take her shit, my voice dropped down into a harsh whisper, I slowly step towards her until I'm peering down into her eyes, fiercely starring at her to make sure she comprehends what I am about to say.

"First off no one was telling you how to do your job; I needed you to calm down! You aren't thinking clearly and you know it! Secondly, I want you to listen to me carefully what happened to this little girl, is not our fault, and it is not your fault. As hard as it is, you have to accept that we can't save them all. Thirdly, what happened between us happened, there is no changing it, but you have no right to insult me, by claiming that I have no emotion. You don't know what I feel when I look at these bodies, you don't know what goes through my head, what I wish. You don't know how it tears me up inside! Just because I don't voice my thoughts, and express my feelings, just because I'm not as easy to read as you, doesn't give you the right to comment and disrespect me. You don't know a thing, but I will tell you one thing right now. On the job, no matter what has happened between us that stays outside this building and I am still your superior. That means when I tell you to do something you do it and you respect me, so that means you don't raise your voice, you don't roll your eyes, you just do it. Do I make myself clear!?"

I study her face as I wait for her reply. I could see tears slowly creeping up in the corners of her eyes, but she didn't let them fall as she scowled to herself and straighten up her poster.

She gave out a curt, "Yes sir" clearly still frustrated with the whole situation, and more.

"I think it's best if you leave, go home and clear your head. You will be removed off this case, for the time being." I hated doing this to her, because I know that it's hurting her, and honestly I hate doing that. It's easy to tell that she is beyond frustrated; I hate knowing that I am the one causing her all of the frustration and hurt, but I can't afford her to not think straight, our 48 hour window is closing fast, and we have no room or time for screw ups. Unfortunately there's nothing I can do about it." Well that's not a hundred percent true, I really didn't have to dismiss McNally, the word lashing that I just gave her would have been shock enough to get her head in the game, but I can't help feeling just a little bit vindictive towards her for coming over to my house completely unexpected and bringing up all this shit. That and I don't think I can take being with her for a long period of time without exploding, I need all the focus in the world for this case". I comb my fingers through my hair and let out another troubled sigh, "I'm doing that a lot lately," as I head over to Frank to give him the update on McNally.

"Frank, I sent McNally home for the day, she has become too emotionally invested in the case and right now she is losing all of her reasoning. I need someone else's help for the day, and everyone is out. I request that since Marlow is doing paper work, she takes McNally's place for the day."

"Sure, I have no problem with that. Just be sure to catch her up, and let me know how McNally is doing." I nodded my understanding, about to turn away and find Marlow, when Frank rested his hand on my shoulder. It was silent for a few seconds as Frank just stared at me inquisitively. "Sam listen," Frank began, "I know that things between the two of you are tense right now, okay? I get that, I understand it, but…."

"Frank, what are you doing? I quickly cut him off, no way are getting into this right now, or ever. "I love you brother, but I am not in the mood for your psychobabble right now okay? I have a terrible headache and I just want to get today over with". I start walking to the door, but Frank's next statement stopped me before I could turn the handle.

"Swarek, listen to me all I am saying is that things have changed okay..."

I jerked my head up and whipped my head around to level him with a glare; I could feel my body stiffen up in anger. I knew what he was referring to; my body having already been tense, and my mind so high strung I immediately lashed out at him.

"You don't think I know that Frank?! Jesus Christ, do me a favor Frank, stay OUT of MY personal LIFE, because it doesn't affect you, or anyone else for that matter. Got it!"

Frank just shakes his head sadly at me, like I'm some ill mannered child. "You're wrong Sam, you're tattered and broken inside. Your relationship with McNally is my business because you BOTH bring it to work. If you both left what happened between the two of you at home, if you left behind all of the anger and frustration, then we wouldn't be having this conversation. You have Marlow now, I understand that, but McNally is going through a lot. Those six months have really changed her."

I ran my hand over my face, and let out an insane, humorless, frustrated little chuckle.

"Ha, wow you're really trying to sell her today, aren't ya?" I was immediately cut off.

"Shut up and pay attention! I've seen it, the rest of division has seen it and if you haven't you're an idiot. Leave the past in the past Sam. Stop harboring onto all of that anger, both of you. Life is too short Sam, Jerry is proof of that. I just don't want the two of you having any regrets down the road, mistakes that you wish you could go back and change, but it's too late. You both have a job that is bigger than the both of you and your issues. My division will NOT suffer because the two of you can't grow up, and get your shit together. Do I make myself clear!?"

"Transparent, boss." I speak out sarcastically, resisting the urge to salute as well "your pushing the limit already, doing that will only lead to me getting suspended" I think, as I leave his office and start walking back to mine. His words continue to dance through my mind.

"McNally is going through a lot, six months has really changed her... I've seen it, the rest of division has seen it and if you haven't you're an idiot".

Have I really been that blind with rage? That I haven't actually, really looked at her? I think back to earlier this morning and picture her face, body, every inch of her in my mind. Having a clear image begin to notice some off things about her; her eyes were sunken in, and she has purple and black bags surrounding her eyes, making her resemble a raccoon. "Was she like that last night," I wonder. The fact that I didn't notice something so obvious brought crippling pain through my heart. Even on her first day back, when we were working together, I didn't look at her. I was so angry, and blinded by my rage that I didn't even see her, or her physical changes. Looking at her now though I see how malnourished she has become. She looks like she hasn't eaten for days and her skin tone was a chalky pale color. Her eyes lost their shine and the twinkle has completely gone. Her hair didn't have the beautiful shine or the glow it once had before. As much as I wanted to worry about it now, I couldn't, there was a little girl who was bigger than McNally and I both, and this little girl needed and deserved justice. I had to go and let Marlow know that she would be working with me for the day.

I walk up behind Marlow, and give her a short greeting so she knows I'm here. "Hey"

She looked up from her paper work, and gave me a big smile. "Hey, Swarek, what can I do for you? Do you miss me already?" she greets me cheekily, her smile turning into a slight smirk.

"Ha, um yeah, but that's not why I'm here. I need you to fill in for McNally on the case we were working on, she has been taken off until further notice because she got too emotionally involved."

"Uh sure, just give me the details and we can start."

As we made it into my office I laid out all of the notes that McNally and I had accumulated over the last 24 hours.

"Okay, right now we pretty much have nothing. We have the body of a four year old little girl, Hispanic, we have no name, and no one that seems to be looking for her, no witnesses, or any suspects, nothing. I was really hoping that you could help because you're not central to the case, maybe you can give us a different perspective and on top of that our 48 hour window is steadily shrinking

"Okay, well who reported it?"

I flipped back through my notes "uh, a woman who lived in the apartment complexes near the dumpster. She was taking her trash out and found her."

"Okay, did you or McNally go through the apartment complex and ask every person that has a window view to the dumpster if they saw anything out of the ordinary? Or even the people in the apartment complex to the right of the dumpster?

"Of course we did, they all said they saw nothing." I grunt out the hopelessness I'm feeling growing and getting the better of me.

"Okay, Swarek stay calm. Ask them again you never know, someone could be covering up something. It never hurts to ask again, you know that. I know this is frustrating, but you are the best at what you do."

"We literally have nothing, and I don't know what to do. I don't even know how to go about this. I just wish Jerry were here. He would know exactly what to do." I whisper out hanging my head and putting my hands so I can lean my entire weight on it.

This was becoming too heavy. I didn't really want to let Marlow into that part of my life; she wasn't here for it and honestly it is just too painful to go through again. All of this was just a constant reminder that my best friend isn't here anymore, all of the frustration with the case, and how McNally and I can't seem to get anything right anymore. McNally and I can't even stay in the same room for more than ten minutes. Everything is all 50 shades of fucked.

"Sam look at me." Marlow whispers into my ear and presses her body up to my back so she can hang over my shoulders to see my face. After awhile I slowly tilt my head to look up at her.

Once she is sure she that has my attention she begins talking "I didn't know Jerry but, I know that if he were here right now, he would probably tell you the same thing and that he would be so proud of you for stepping up and being there for your division when they needed you. You and McNally can do this. I know you can, and so does the rest of the division."

Her words brought me a since of comfort, I know she's right but there are moments when things just get too hard and the air gets hard to breathe. She brought me some comfort, that's what I think I love most about Marlow.

"You always know what to say". I say with a grin.

"I know that's why you love me, so much." She teases back.

The mood considerably better, we head back to work on figuring out the case, bouncing ideas off each other and researching possible areas to start investigating. The rest of the work day continues in much the same way and I soon find myself driving back home with Marlow in the passenger seat.

We just came from dropping off her car, a Black, 2012 Volvo, at her apartment. When she suddenly ask about dinner, "What do you want for dinner? What about Chinese and a beer?"

I felt a strong quick jolt of pain went through me at her words, Chinese and beer is what McNally and I used to do. I suddenly don't really like the taste of Chinese anymore.

"No, I uh don't like Chinese. What about pizza or something, we can just kick back and watch TV?"

"Sounds good," she replies back, and silence feels the truck once more.

When we get to my loft, I open the door and immediately crash down on to my couch. Marlow coming in a few minutes later after calling Dominos takes the recliner across from me. Neither one of us bothers to turn on T.V. content to just wallow in our thoughts, but after twenty minutes of silence I decide to take a glance up at Marlow cause I know she usually can't stay quiet for long. I look up at her and I could see that there was something different in her face, something she was contemplating. After awhile of hesitation she finally spoke

"You know there is something that we haven't talked about, or more like you have been avoiding it. I don't care really, about the avoiding part, but we are going to talk about it now." She more demands than tell me.

"Marlow don't. Okay…" She cut me off

"So McNally's back."

"It's in the past, okay? Leave it there. I had a really long day, and honestly I just want to have some pizza, a beer and watch T.V. with you. Can we do that please?"

I could tell that she was upset because I was avoiding the subject again, but I am seriously getting tired of everyone bringing up the past and getting into business that wasn't there own. I could tell by the way she took in a deep breath, and she pinched up her face that she was getting ready to go a small rant, but I cut her off before the dam of words could spill forth

"Okay!?"

She let out the gather air in a huff and looked down, the small pout on her lips made me smile.

"Hey, look at me" I said in a softer voice. She looked up into my eyes. And I continued still in a soft voice but also firm.

"It's in the past, she's in the past. Okay?" I leaned in and kissed her, as I pulled back I could see the smile spread across her face, and she nodded.

"McNally is in the past, her everything we shared, is all in the past." I said in my head, almost like a mantra.

I hope you all enjoyed, let me know what you guys thought! Have a wonderful day! Chapter 3 is almost finished. I promise. I really hope you all enjoyed! –EJAMI-SANDY13