Chapter 1 – Past Reflections
Flashback
"Hikaru, you'll never leave me right? We...We'll always be together?"
"Of course Kaoru, together forever"
Three Years Ago...
'Flight 207-A now boarding'
"Now Kaoru, we have very few relatives in France, are you sure you want to finish schooling there?"
"Yes Mother, we have already talked about this. I am doing what I think is best for me. And...what is best for Hikaru."
The young boy embracing his mother, slowly sighed as he began to slowly walk toward the plane leading to his new future.
As Kaoru listened to the flight attendant drone on about the safety procedures and details of the flight, he slipped on his headphones and let the lilting classical music slowly lead him into a fitful dream-ridden sleep.
It was the same dream. The same dream I have always had lately. It haunts me, endlessly I am caught in memories that merge into nightmares until I don't know the truth from the dreams.
In my dreams it always happens; I always am left behind.
I first noticed the changes when the nights where we would comfort each other and hold each other in sleep slowly but steadily decreased. I could no longer glance into Hikaru's eyes and know what he was thinking. He wouldn't wait for me as he usually did, so we could go to school together. Hikaru would go directly to his room and slam the door, if he wasn't with HER. I could tell that she was the one that changed everything...
But that isn't right, it was all my fault. I was always selfish and jealous when it came to Hikaru. He was always the open one, laughing with people and having fun. But I...
I never was good with people other than Hikaru.
When Haruhi came it was like a door opened up for Hikaru. He began to make new friends, he became involved with the outside world, a world that accepted him and loved him. I however was still stuck in our 'old' fantasy dream world, a world only for Hikaru and me. The only problem was Hikaru had already woken up, while I was fast asleep.
I tried to wake up. Over and over I tried and failed, hoping to fit in with Hikaru but I always felt uncomfortable, so I began to avoid Hikaru when he was with his other friends only spending time with him at the host club or when it was just the two of us.
But those times slowly to became just dreams, fond memories that seemed so far away.
Little by little I felt myself wilt inside. Day by day a part of me died a little bit more, and he never noticed.
I began to eat less and less, sleepless nights were followed by night terrors, dreams filled with Hikaru telling me he didn't love me, that he had never cared. Night after night I heard him in my dreams screaming at me, hitting me, telling me how useless I was, how flawed I was.
I could no longer meet Hikaru's eye in the hallway, but in those days that rarely happened, he was to busy with his new friends... and the host club.
But the host club also suffered due to the growing distance between my brother and me. Our act once perfect and utterly beautiful became this sick facade that I used just to spend time in his presence, to be near his side.
It was only when Haruhi and Hikaru began dating that I realized that I was in love with my brother.
Is this okay for a first chapter? I know it is still rather short but I plan to progressively write larger chapters.