The100 Haunted Chapter 2 Pain

The pain in his back and shoulder hit just as he was beginning to wake. He didn't know where he was but the smell was familiar, then he remembered the stable at Arkadia. Thoughts of Octavia came to his mind.

He could hear rain falling, and felt the dampness in the cold air it brought.

As he cracked open his eyes, he felt someone was there. He tried to sit up, but was pushed back down gently. "You need to lie still, or you'll tear your stiches," said the voice.

Bellamy knew it was Niylah. "Why are you helping me?" he asked.

"You would have died," she said. "The bear ripped open your back, and he tore into your shoulder. I stitched your back, and your shoulder. Your arm is broken, and I set it. You have to make sure not to use it for a few weeks," she said. "I've been giving you something for the pain, but it's been too many days now. You can't keep taking it."

"How long have I been here," he asked with a gravelly voice?

"The bear was four days ago," she said. "This is the fifth day."

"Thank you," he said. "I know you don't…"

"Don't talk about what you know," she interrupted him. "You don't know anything about me."

He knew she had a point. He didn't know anything other than he had ruined her life. He had killed her father.

"Niylah, I'm sorry, I know nothing I can say will change anything," He whispered. "I wish I could take it all back," he said. The guilt was overwhelming. His pain was more than physical and Niylah saw it on his face. She didn't have any sympathy for him.

"Tell me about him," said Bellamy.

"What," asked Niylah?

"Would you tell me about your father," asked Bellamy?

"You don't deserve to know anything about him, he was a good man. I won't give you the honor of knowing about him," snapped Niylah. She suddenly grew angry at him for asking about the man he had taken from her. She knew he wanted to clear his conscious and she wasn't going to help him do it by telling him anything about her father.

"You think saying your sorry will change anything. It won't. It won't bring back my father. You have no idea how many lives you ruined. You didn't just kill innocent people that tried to help you. You destroyed families. Children left with no parents, women who now have no one to bring home food for their children. The army you slaughtered wasn't the only lives you took that day. This will ruin more people than you know, so I don't care that you're sorry."

Bellamy was beside himself. The regret and grief he felt was undeniable. "What can I do to fix it?" he asked the pain on his face was clear, his eyes full and wet.

Niylah stood up quickly and stared down at him. "As soon as you're able, I want you gone," she said with venom. "I've done my part. You'll live," she said. "Now you'll have to live with yourself, I want you to live a long time, and remember how many people you've destroyed, I want you one day to feel the pain of someone taking away everyone you care about, and I want you to remember what you've done." Then she turned and stormed out. She was angry and needed to get away from him. She could see his pain and didn't want to feel sorry for him, afraid she might is she stayed, still a part of her wanted to hit him, but he was hurt. She was a gentle person, but having him here was more than she could stand.

Bellamy watched her leave. He felt the sting of her words, and didn't blame her for how she felt. He hated himself enough for what he had done, but he wasn't going to make the girl suffer anymore. He struggled with the pain of his wounds, but finally got to his feet. He saw his pants and boots piled in the corner, and struggled with them and finally managed to get them on. He didn't have a shirt or jacket so he grabbed the blanket that was his bed. He halfway got it draped over his shoulders, just enough to cover his upper body and made his way out into the cold rain. He glanced towards Niylah's home, before Bellamy walked out into the forest. He wasn't sure where he was going, he didn't care. His mind was fuzzy; he was turned around, and confused. Beads of sweat popped out across his forehead mixed with the cold rain hitting his face. His arm was throbbing. He could feel his pulse through to the tips of his fingers. He tried to hold his arm up across his chest, but his torn shoulder made it difficult. He just kept walking. He was cold and could see his breath. He didn't care. His mind was on Niylah's words, knowing how right she was. He was guilty and was going to have to live with what he had done.

As he stumbled across the rain soaked earth, the bodies of the people he killed flashed in his mind. Then the vision of Octavia kneeling over Lincolns body, sobbing. It was because of him that she had lost everything. The sister he grew up trying to protect. How could he have known, his actions could cause her the most pain; first their mother, now Lincoln. He remembered the disappointment in him on Clarke's face for the pain he had caused.

His sweat, mixed with rain was now mixing with tears streaming down his face. He needed to disappear and find solitude. If he was alone, he couldn't hurt anyone. He didn't care if running was the coward's way out, nothing he did could bring back the lives he took, but maybe if he was alone, that would be the only way he could save lives.

Bellamy finally looked up. He couldn't see anything through the rain but blackness. He was cold and wet. The blanked draped over him, was now a weight that burdened his wounded shoulder. Still he clung to it. The wet blanket was all he had left. His body wanted to shut down. His wounds were excruciating but the pain in his heart was so much more. Finally he lay down under a tree and closed his eyes, letting the darkness envelope him.