Batman, Beyond the Bedroom

by Auntie Margies story time

Batman just wants to live happily ever after with Robin, but other people have different plans, plans to live happily ever after with Batman themselves! DC and Marvel heroes all come together for cracktastic adventures of love, hatred, revenge, table flips and bike riding. (Its pretty much just pure crack.) (Very long Hiatus right now)

2. Chapter 2

hm oh hello~ I didnt see you there~ Welcome to chapter two of the famouse (in my mind) novel

-Auntie Honeydew

The story gets better as it goes on, I promise.

-Grandma TyperMonkey

Superman arrived at Batman's house after only a 20 minutes run. Looking around, there was no sign of Hulk. Good. No witnesses. Superman checked again, then ran to what used to be Batman's bedroom. It was mostly intact. Good, good. He ran up to what remained of the dresser, and pulled out the top drawer. It had exactly what Superman was looking for in it: Batman's underwear. Holding this precious relic in his hands, Superman began to sniff it and imagine his fantasy with Batman. That was until he found something that upset the poor delusional man. A pair of underwear with Robin's face was in the drawer, looking up at Superman. Enraged, Superman ran over to where Robin's room would've been. It was completely obliterated, but he somehow managed to find the dresser, and sure enough, there were panties, tiny ones with Batman's face on them. Throwing his hands into the air, -one still holding the panties- screaming in agony, Superman felt like 2nd place in Bruce's heart. Which was a sad place.

His screams were cut short when cars started getting hurtled at him from a small distance. Looking to see where these cars were coming from, Superman saw the Hulk. The Hulk stopped throwing the cars when he saw it was Superman, not Batman, and ran for it. Superman would've chased him, except he suddenly heard a high-pitched, womanly scream behind him. He turned to see Bruce with his mouth open, and hands on his head, and Robin only wide-eyed. Superman had never heard a sexier womanly scream come from a grown man. Superman flew over to Bruce instantly, batting his eyelashes at him, and glaring at Robin from the corner of his eye. Robin felt it and died a little on the inside.

"It's okay, Bruce!" Superman reassured him. "I'll fix this little mess in no time!" And in 10 seconds flat, Superman began digging away the rubble, secretly looking for something special.

Crawling, the Hulk made it into his apartment. Once inside, he looked around for his mate. No where to be seen. So Hulk checked the fridge, the dish washer(which he later threw out the window when he stubbed his toe on a chair), under the couch, over the river and through the woods to Grandmother's house. Grandmother told him to stop coming to her house every time he was looking for something. Back home, he felt the urge to cry. A lot. Which was weird for a 9 foot tall monster with anger issues, but whatever. But suddenly, he hears music. Singing, actually. It was pretty bad, but Hulk recognized it immediately; Spiderman in the shower! Hulk decided to be stealthy and sneak up and surprise Spiderman, and as he got closer, he could hear the song was Dora The Explorer's theme, butchered with a rusty fork. Hulk manages to sneak up behind Spiderman in the shower without him noticing, by using his skills from years of ballerina classes his mother forced him to take. Those were what started his RAGEEEE. Hulk stood behind Spiderman as he screeched a terrible redub of a decent song, going to surprise him, but then looks down at Spiderman's ass. That perfect ass. Well, almost perfect. there was this really weird birthmark on it that kinda looked like a banjo dancing on top of a cat. Batman's ass doesn't have a weird birthmark like that. Well, probably not, he figured. He'd never seen Batman's ass (thankfully) and wont ever(if Bruce has anything to say about it). With that thought, Hulk started to cry and scream. The high-pitched, glass-shattering scream scared the hell out of Spiderman, who peed himself at the sound(he didn't need to go before). He looks at Hulk, giving him a "Wtf?" look, holding his arm up to his chest, grabbing his heart. Hulk grabbed Spiderman in a bone-crushing embrace. After a while, Hulk realized he was in the shower, too, so he might as well wash himself, too. Spiderman gave him some soap, and he started to scrub, until he dropped the soap.

It only took 4 minutes of digging for Superman to find what he was looking for. In this time, Bruce ordered a new house via a phone call to /new_house/23tg72f17. Dick had also used the time to play with his new phone, which he was already trying to use for what his last one needed replacing for. It wasn't working very well. Superman held his prized object above his head, shouting in victory. Bruce and Dick were caught off guard by this, and checked to see if the man had finally cracked. Almost. He was holding up something tiny, black, and was round, with string circling around or something? It took a second, but Batman finally recognized what it was. So did Dick. It was Bruce's prized thong. Bruce ran over to Superman and snatched it before Superman can sniff it or whatever else he was going to do. Superman was disappointed, but watched as Bruce makes his way over to Dick. "We can just go to the spare mansion for a while." Dick mentions to Bruce, who nods, and sticks the thong in his watched as they walked away. Depressed, he had no choice but to fly home and watch reruns of his favorite soap, "Sangre de lujo del potro" in his underwear till he felt better.

The chapters get longer from now on, but funnier. These two were just produced out of desperation for a story.

Also Auntie Honeydew will not be joining us for the rest of the evening as she has been caught by her handler. It is a sad day in asylum history.

-Grandma TyperMonkey