Story Title: Recovery

Author Name: BluJeza

Summary: She thought she lost everything, with no hope of recovery. She was drowning, her color being washed away into a blank canvas. Her escape was her cousin, but will it take more than her cousin to help her? She thinks she is beyond healing. But then she meets him.

Pairing(s): Jacob Black/OC, Bella/?, other Canon Pairings still exist

Time: New Moon, around the time Jacob and Bella are getting close. Edward is gone, idiot that he is and Jacob is just starting the change from human to wolf.

Warning(s): Depression, General Angst, PTSD, Nightmares, Swearing, um... Trauma.

Also, didn't really edit much with this chapter.

Disclaimer: I own this laptop. That's about it.

A/N: By the way, still not going to rewrite or continue this, but I had already had these chapters somewhat edited so thats why they are going up.

The airplane was suffocating with the mass of people walking down the aisle, shoving their way through and tossing their carry-on's in the overhead. She just knew this was going to be a long flight, stuck by the window seat and cramped inside by her Dad and a large man seated in the aisle seat. Glancing over at the man on the aisle seat, she grimaced and quickly looked back out the window, hugging the backpack to her chest. He was tall, lanky, and blonde which was not a good combination. He was blonde and tall, but this man at least wasn't pale skinned like he was. She couldn't help but tense and tighten her hold on the bag in her arms, as if it were a safety net that would keep him away. Her eyes constantly shifted back to him, and then beyond to see the people still lingering in the aisle. Why can't we just take off already?! Her mind was screaming at her, warning her at the danger that existed in this small, cramped space.

She felt the world closing in around her, the grip on her bag so tight her knuckles were turning white along with her breath starting to come in short gasps. Squeezing her eyes shut tightly, she turned her head to the window seat and leaned her forehead against the edge of it while trying desperately to grab a big gulp of air. It wasn't working. Her heart clenched in her chest, so tightly she felt as if it were being squeezed into oblivion. Licking her lips, she shook her head quickly and slowly started chanting, Safe, Safe, Safe, under her breath. By this point, the man in the aisle seat was staring at her weirdly, as if he were trying to figure out why he was sitting near a psycho. She wanted to laugh and cry at the same time, and scream at him, 'You are sitting by a psycho!'

She could feel her Dad next to her getting worried, his body shifting so it was slightly turned towards her and his hands were clenched into tight fists. She just knew he was staring at her, she could all but feel his eyes boring into the side of her head. Knowing that her Dad was here was slightly reassuring, as he acted as a buffer against everyone and everything else. Her dad would not let anyone hurt her. She was safe with her Dad.

Blinking her muddy eyes open, she glanced over at the man quickly and noted the look that she just knew he had been sending at her. Yes, he was definitely staring at her as if she were a freak. Morosely, she did count herself among those who were psychotic. How could she not be, with all these overwhelming feelings swirling around inside of her? She sat up to maneuver her bag under the seat in front of her, and then glanced at her Dad sitting next to her. Sure enough, he was watching her with all the concern in the world. Sighing, she glanced over at the man again while ignoring the blonde hair that swept into his brown eyes. Brown, she thought with relief, not Green. If they were green, then it would be too close. Chewing on her bottom lip, she looked away and carefully slouched as far she could into her seat before tentatively laying her head against her Dad's shoulder. She felt him tense then relax, though he made no move to touch her. She was glad, she wasn't sure she could take it.

For the next few moments, as the people started to settle in the seats around her, she stared blankly at the seat in front of her. The moment, for now, was almost to the point of numbness. For the first time since being found she felt almost… safe, because when you were numb you couldn't feel fear. When you were numb, there was no despair or anger. Her lips twisted into a slow smile at the thought of feeling nothing, because it would be so nice compared to what she had been feeling. Constant fear and anxiety was not a good thing to be hashed onto a kidnapping victim, especially one as weak as her. She cringed away from the self-depreciating thought and turned her head further against the her dad almost to the point where her eyes were pressed into his arm. Despite the brief thought, she didn't actually want that numbness. She'd skipped taking her medication this morning for that very reason. It was dumb of her but she needed to be alert today. She wouldn't be able to get through all of this without being aware and the meds made her not only numb, but oblivious to everything and that's just not what she needed.

It was only ten to fifteen minutes later when the plane took off from the ground, climbing into the sky quickly. Her ears felt the pressure and she swallowed thickly, trying to keep the pressure away. She had always had a problem with popping her ears, even with the small height of the Blue Ridge Mountains that she'd camped in before… with Abby. Her breath caught, and in that same moment that those faded blue eyes popped into her head, the pressure in her ears reached its final point and vanished. She would have sighed with relief, if it weren't for the fact that she was caught in the memory.

"Drea! C'mon!"

Abigail laughed as she ran ahead, scrambling up the bank of the rocky river. They were out camping for the weekend, just her and Abs, up in the Blue Ridge. The spot they were at was right by a big river and a smaller creek, which at the moment was what they were crossing. Andrea grumbled good naturedly and stepped carefully over the slippery stones, trying to avoid the cold and frigid water as much as possible. Who was she kidding? It was impossible. With a shriek, her foot flew out from under her and she found herself landing butt first in said cold river. Andrea found herself gaping, her mouth hanging open like a fish looking for food.

Meanwhile, Abigail couldn't help herself and had doubled over, holding her stomach as she laughed uproariously. Andrea scowled and jerked her head up to glare at her, her mouth snapping closed with a click.

Andrea yelled, "ABBY! It's not funny!"

She was horrified and she was wet, which was even worse because camp was at least two miles back the other way.

Abigail's laughter slowed into small giggles, with a few hiccups tossed in here and there. Andy pushed herself up, slipping every once in a while when trying to find her footing. Abigail was obviously of no help, as she continued to watch with giggles escaping from under her hand. With a scowl planted firmly on her face, she stomped from the water towards Abigail with flames of revenge burning in her eyes. With a smirk of mischief she reached Abby just in time for Abigail herself to figure out what was going on. A gasp and laughing shriek escaped in the next few seconds as Andrea embraced Abigail tightly, soaking her friend to the bone.

"Now you have to suffer the two miles back to camp with me!" Andy laughed.

Abigail pouted, "So not fair Drea."

Andrea grinned while starting to shiver, she shrugged, "Hey, you brought it all on yourself. Seriously Abs? You could have helped me out!"

Abigail giggled, "You have to admit it. It was funny as hell!"

Rolling her eyes, Andrea turned away and started back across the river, not even bothering to try and stay away from the wet. She was soaked already, so more water couldn't hurt right? As she got to the other side, she heard Abby trudging through after her and already complaining. Laughing, Andrea turned to look only to suddenly scream and fall backwards.

It was Abigail, of course, but not Abigail as she was supposed to be. Abigail looked up, confused at the scream and brushed a piece of wet red hair from her dirtied cheek. Glassy blue eyes stared unfocused at Andrea, even as she continued forward with the torn clothes hanging off her sunken frame. Blood dripped from her soaked hair, and the large gash on her stomach was clearly tearing open with each step.

Andrea frantically scrambled backwards, the scream stuck in her throat as she stared in horror at the visage of her best friend. Her dead best friend. Abigail looked confused and paused in the middle of the river, the blood gathering around her feet and the missing fingernails looked gruesome as she raised her hand towards Andrea.

"Andrea! Snap out of it! Hey!"

It was Abigail speaking, but it wasn't. Andrea shook, sobs escaping her lips even as Abigail took another step and spoke again.

"Drea! Honey! Calm down!"

"It's okay! Wake up! Wake up!"

Andrea jerked up and away from the hand at her shoulder with a terrified shriek, drawing far more attention than needed. She turned quickly to her Dad who had shaken her awake, his concerned brown eyes staring into her own. His face was etched into worry and a bit of panic, as if he was afraid he wouldn't be able to help. Shaking slightly, she found herself shoving further away and into the wall of the plane.

"It's okay." He held up his hands, a look of concern on his face, "Calm down, honey. We are on a plane. It was just a dream."

His voice was low and soothing, as if he was talking to a wild animal. Licking her lips, she nodded jerkily and croaked out, "It was a nightmare."

She turned away quickly, violently shoving the nightmare to the back of her mind. It was almost impossible to do, of course, but she managed and then desperately tried to ignore the man on the other side of her Dad who looked vaguely freaked out and a little bit angry. Not to even mention the rest of the passengers she could feel staring at her. She just wanted to be left alone. Thankfully, her Dad got the point and after a few moments she could feel the stares abate. Her guess was that her Dad had brought out his infamous glower. Her heart was still pounding in her chest from the scare she had gotten. It had definitely been a memory but then it… she locked the nightmare away. No, she wouldn't think about it. It hurt too much.

Breathing in quickly, she glanced at the watch on her wrist and frowned. There was still an hour and a half until the plane landed, but she really wished it was over. This place was starting to suffocate her; she could feel it creeping up around the edges of her cloud of despair. Biting her lip harshly, enough to sting, she closed her eyes and settled down again. This time, she desperately thought of her mother and as she did she remember her kind brown eyes and the laugh lines around her mouth.

A soft smile touched upon her lips as she got lost in these memories, occasionally a flash of blue eyes would dance in front and taint the memory but at this point she had gotten quite good at ignoring them. Her mother had been a wonderful woman, and she missed her dearly but she had died well. At least with her mother, she hadn't died in front of her. Harshly, she swore quietly and locked the memories away again. If she knew how to meditate at this point she would, because she knew without a doubt that the rest of the flight was going to be bordering on hell.

Change of P.O.V

"Andrea!"

The shout of my name made me look around as I exited the gate, my backpack thrown over one shoulder instead of two. It didn't take long to spot my Aunt and when I did my eyes lit up and I rushed forward. The two met halfway and arms were immediately wrapped around each other.

"Aunt Leslie!" I gasped out, happy tears welling in my eyes. It had been far too long since I had seen her and I had missed her so much. It was so good to feel my Aunt's arms around me. So good.

"Look at you sweetheart! You look…", here my Aunt faltered slightly and her smile withered a little, but just as quick it picked up and stretched though I knew it was fake, "You look wonderful."

Her voice was soft when she finished the sentence, and I paused slightly as a look of gloom appeared in my eyes. I pushed it back, willing the numbness over myself like a warm blanket and smiled.

"I've missed you Aunt. How is everyone?"

Aunt Leslie smiled, "Oh, you know. Just fine. Your Uncle Henry is busy as ever at the church and the twins are terrors."

We made our way towards the baggage claim as we talked, and my smile suddenly became real as I remembered the twins. "They are nine now, right? I haven't seen them since they were five!"

Aunt Leslie laughed, squeezing me around the shoulders gently. We had reached the baggage claim by this point, and I glanced over the shoulders of strangers to search for my bad. Nothing.

"Yes, they are nine now. They drive Angela crazy. Your Uncle Henry finds it hilarious."

I grinned at that and glanced over at her, my heart suddenly a little bit lighter. It felt… good, to be this way. No thoughts of what happened entered my thoughts as my Aunt spoke about my cousins and Uncle. I listened as we picked up my bag and made our way out. It wasn't long at all until we were settled in the car and driving from the Seattle airport towards Forks, Washington. The drive was going to be a long one, but I was content. Like usual, I lost all sense of time and my Aunt and I caught up with each other. All mention of … it was avoided at all possible, though many times I found my Aunt glancing at me with this overwhelming ache of pity in her eyes.

I ignored the pity. I had to, because if I acknowledged it then I would actually have to feel something. I didn't want to feel anything but this strange sense of numb content as we made our way towards Forks. I really could not wait to see Angela and the twins. Uncle Henry too, as he was by far my favorite Uncle ever. He is your only one. My thoughts interjected and I huffed. He was still the best Uncle ever.

The Weber's House

The car parked in the drive and before the engine was even off I noticed the front door wide open and two identical blurs racing to the car, both screaming my name. I smiled slightly and opened the door, shutting it just in time for the two to wrap their arms around me. Hearing laughter as I wrapped my arms around them two in a quick, but gentle hug I looked up.

Angela was standing, her arms crossed and small smile on her lips. She looked well, and concerned but with an almost forced relaxed aura around her to ignore what was right in front of her. I appreciated that from her, because there was absolutely zero pity in Angie's eyes.

"Hey Andrea. It's been a long time! I've missed you!" She sounded excited, but as always her voice was soft and gentle like Aunt Leslie's. I loved that about her, because as timid as Angela was it didn't matter because she never raised her voice and that was just what I needed right now.

Letting the twins go, I responded to Angela even as the two raced back to house with a call of "Goodbye!" over their shoulder. "Hi Ange…You look good."

She shrugged, and an easy grin on her face, "You look different."

My eyes lit up as she didn't dance around the subject and I shrugged, my smile slipping slightly. "I know."

Giving me a once over, she frowned suddenly and looked up. "You are rooming with me, but before you even touch that extra bed you take a shower." She blushed then and glanced down, before looking up. "Sorry, but you stink."

I laughed slightly, a small blush on my own cheeks and approached her to give her a hug. She returned it loosely then drew away and turned towards the house where Uncle Henry just exited. I glanced past her and froze as my eyes locked onto green. They were…No! That's Uncle Henry! Not him! I swallowed and glanced back at Angela who was now looking at me with worry.

"You okay?" She asked softly and I couldn't help but slowly shake my head, trembling.

"No." I echoed, my voice barely audible even as everything else seemed slightly muted as if someone had a remote control and we were the TV. I looked up at Uncle Henry again, who was frowning and has turned to speak quietly to Aunt Leslie. They both looked worried. I felt immediately horrible, because who was I to push myself off onto relatives who I hadn't even seen in over three years? I quickly scolded myself, because they had invited me and not the other way around.

Taking a deep breath, I straightened my shoulders and turned to Angela. "Can we go up now, please Ange?" I questioned softly, my eyes flickering from my Aunt and Uncle then back to Angela.

She nodded slowly, a small concerned frown on her lips. "Yes, of course! I'll show you where you can put your stuff. Dad will bring the rest up later, if that's alright?"

I shrugged, because it really didn't matter to me. I just wanted to hide at the moment, and if I had my way I would continue to hide. Because… really, I was too much of a coward and until I had to face Forks High I was going to lock myself as much as possible in Angela's room. I didn't want to face the world. I didn't. I was terrified that at any moment, out in public, I would freak out and have a flashback. I knew it had to happen sooner or later because that's just how it is. I've freaked out in my own home but not in public, but only because I have avoided the public.

I followed Angela into the house, squeezing as far away from Uncle Henry as possible and keeping my eyes on the ground as I passed. The only similarities my Uncle had with him was the eyes but it was the eyes of people that always haunted me, and this was no different. It really is true when people say that the eyes are the windows to the soul. The walk to Angela's room was mostly quiet, the only thing that disturbed the walk was the sound of the twins hitting each other in the background.

We reached the room soon and Angela turned to me.

"Here we are! Hasn't changed much, I'm sorry if it is too cramped…" She trailed off, and unsure look on her face. I smiled and shook my head, "It's not problem Angie. I don't need much room."

It was true, I really did not need that much room and I knew Angela was quick to feel bad about things, she was just that type of person. She was always too caring for her own good. Sighing, I sat down on the bed across the room, the one I would obviously be using.

"Well, um… do you want some time alone?" She seem unsure as she asked, her bottom lip being worried between her teeth and I smiled, grateful.

"That would be great, thanks. See you in a few?" I spoke.

She nodded, "Of course. I'll be back later." She quickly left, shutting the door gently behind her and I sighed.

Glancing around her room, I took it in slowly with a thoughtful look. Her room had quite a bit of purple in it, the rug being a soft cream color with the walls painted a pale purple. Her curtains, which were to the left of my own twin bed, were colored a darker purple with a see through white underneath. She had two dressers side by side between two beds and right in front of the curtains, which was odd but I suppose it worked for her. The closet was to the left of the door to her room, which was at the end of her own twin bed. All in all, her room was cozy and very light… and purple.

I grimaced slightly. Purple was good and all, but I had no idea that Angela liked it so much. I was going to never look at purple again after I was done with this trip… which, actually, was for an indefinite amount of time so far. I had no idea when I would see Dad again, or even if I would ever go back. How could I when that place held so much? The Renson's wouldn't even speak to me, because they blamed me for what happened to Abigail. I understood, because I blamed myself for Abigail's death and torture too. After all, if she were not so attached to me she would not have taken the brunt of their anger and scorn….

I shook my head to rid myself of those thoughts, glancing towards the window. The curtains were currently drawn to the side and I couldn't help but stare out at the trees in the backyard. Abby would have hated it here, I thought with a slight but sad smile. It was far too wet and rainy.