A/N: Um... so this is the part where I realise that I'm really not that funny. *shakes head* sorry, guys. if by any chance, you do give a little giggle at something I've said, do let me know. Cuz comedy is not something I write very often, so this is a big challenge for me. (That and Barney's an interestingly complex character despite his one dimensional nature.) I've tried to keep the narration as canon as possible because I sort of feel like straying away from it would take away from all that How I Met Your Mother is. Anyway. Thank you, readers for sticking with me. And I'm sorry if i don't update regularly, believe it or not, this mindless comedy does take a lot of concentration and effort and with university starting in two days, Miss Tomkitten is gonna be rather busy... (can't blame me really, huh?)

We've got some Lily/Marshall goodness ahead... yay! ^^ Scooter will show up eventually, for those of you who are like "hmm... where is that guy anyway?" just, bear with me. i'm just getting comfortable with the characters the first couple chapters. xD

Anyway... enjoy. :)

Well, we all went home later that night with quite a few things on our minds. For one, Barney was already considering his next move in possibly seducing another man. Ironically, of course, he'd started his mission the moment he'd announced its acceptance.

Kids, let me tell you now, your Uncle Barney is probably the most skilled man at flirting with people his own gender I have ever known.

…Just kidding. He sucked. It was actually embarrassing.

Really embarrassing.

And hilarious.

"Hey," was his first move as he approached the first guy who walked through the front door to the bar. He passed the poor bemused newcomer a casual nod. "Barney Stinson. You hear I'm awesome?" He'd said, all nonchalant and cool, leaning against the bar counter, one leg bent over the other.

The man frowned, preparing to move away. Barney took an evasive step toward him, visibly popping his personal bubble with his mighty challenge needle. "You wanna see just how awesome I am? …upstairs? In the bedroom?"

"Dude!" Robin and I both gasped all at once, gawping in horror at Barney's choice lie of the night. It was one thing for me to bring girls up to our apartment. It was a second thing for Robin to bring guys up to our apartment. But it was quite another for Barney to bring his latest escapade up to our apartment. (Emphasis on the our, if you didn't get it.) The fact of the matter was, that apartment was Robin's and mine. Impressing chicks by proving that we live above the bar was my thing. And no one stole my thing.

Except maybe Robin. But that's a whole other story.

Luckily enough, Barney's man of choice was either too macho to handle his less than straight advances or was very gay and very unwooed and insulted. The next thing we knew, Barney had been slapped hardcore across the face so fast, it literally made his head spin. "You wanna take this outside?" the guy, who now in hindsight was far taller and bulkier and resembling something of the Incredible Hulk, threatened, grabbing Barney up by the collar. The perfectly shined tips of Barney's designer shoes hovered about two or three inches above the ground.

"Do I?" Barney replied in a less than fearful and more than provocative way, evil mastermind smirk spreading across his face.

Next thing we knew, Barney was being flung headfirst through the door leading to the back alley just outside Maclaren's. That's right. Where such things happened as the Whip Incident or that time that we got into a fight with the Doug the bartender. Or that time when Barney trashed all those TVs. Yeah. A lot of stuff goes on in that alley.

So. His first attempt at less than straight flirtations didn't go so well.

He came back looking pretty out of shape. Blood gushing from his nose. Lip split. A pretty impressively blooming black eye… It was pretty remarkable.

What followed was the most fantastic performance I've ever seen of Barney's. And who knows? Some of it may have been genuine, if the torn cuff of his suit sleeve said anything. But there Barney was, slumped down into the closest bar stool, looking… well. Pretty darn sad. It started with a sniffle. A quick glance up to see that he had a participating audience. Naturally, he did. Most regulars at Maclarens, ourselves included knew Barney's antics well and at least found them an excellent amusement for the night.

He placed his head in his hands and began all out bawling, shoulders shaking.

"This is never gonna work," Lily shook her head, ever the skeptic when it came to Barney's luring tactics. Funny. I can't think of a time when Lily said that and was right.

Of course, it worked. Ironic thing was, at least half a dozen girls came flocking to him like paperclips to a magnet. Not a single guy. "Look at this! L-look at this!" He lifted up his arm to expose his torn cuff. "A perfectly good suit. Ruined. This was Armani! I'm gonna miss you, buddy. We had so, so many good memories." He choked at his last words, signaling Wendy the Waitress to get him another drink while he thought his harem of sympathetic bimbos weren't looking.

Uncle Barney may have been genuinely upset by the loss of yet another suit to one of his fickle so called "challenges". Maybe we'll never know. But the best part of it? The girls around him began passing one another strange looks. Some mouthed the word Armani as if they were onto him. Smart bimbos. There was a first time for everything.

They backed off, one by one.

"No!" Barney gasped as soon as he recognized what was going on. "No no no no no! This isn't supposed to happen this way!"

"Sorry bro," I shrugged from our booth a few feet away. "You can't have it both ways."

"Yeah, I think for once, you actually pulled off a gay vibe." Lily smirked, looking rather pleased with herself. She turned to Marshall, placing her hand on his thigh. "Well. It's getting late. We should probably head out, hey baby?" she inquired, patting her husband's leg affectionately before they both scooted out of their booth.

~.~.~.~.~

What each of us didn't know was that something was also weighing heavily on your Aunt Lily's mind. With Lily and Marshall living in their apartment a good distance away, we understood it would take some time for them to get home. And then they had their finicky nightly rituals before bed. Things like that took time. And of course, we all knew about Lily's habit of falling asleep in the taxi after drinking too much. Not that she drank much at all that night, kids.

What we didn't know was that Lily wasn't tired at all. In fact, she was wide awake. "Marshall?" she'd asked as soon as they'd returned home and closed the front door behind them.

Marshall turned to acknowledge her. "Yes, Lily Pad?" he inquired absently.

"D-d'you really think we didn't see Barney's doppelganger?" There was a trace of concern in her voice that no doubt made your uncle Marshall uneasy.

"Of course not," he replied easily enough, turning away so that she might not catch his guilty glance. "It was definitely Barney's doppelganger. Bore a striking resemblance. Down to the last crease in his forehead when you went up to him and tried to yank his wig off after Barney, Ted and Robin had left. Which was awesome, by the way. Moments like that remind me why I married you."

Lily forced a small, sad, smile. "Yeah. But am I crazy? I mean, you obviously see it. But Barney and Robin and…"

"It doesn't matter," Marshall reassured her, approaching her so he might gently press his large, square hands to her shoulders. "It only matters that we saw it. And that's enough for us. Right?"

Lily nodded. "I guess." She conceded with the slightest pout. "I just... wish I knew. For sure. I mean… if we're destined to have a baby now, how do we know? What if we were wrong?"

"We'll just know."

"Yeah…" Lily nodded again, this time, more assured of herself. "Yeah. We'll… we'll just know."