A/N- If you clicked on this wondering where Chapter 26 of Draco Sirius Black is, it will probably be out next Monday. This weekend, I just really wanted to write a more dysfunctional, vulgar, fucked up, and nonmagical version of Sirius, Remus, and Charlie. So here you go.
Also, I wanted to mention that I was very disappointed to see that they took Queer as Folk (UK) off of amazon prime video. I really wanted to watch it again, but I have zero intention of actually paying for it.
If you didn't know, this fic is loosely based on the British dramedy gold that is Queer as Folk which I fell in love with when I binged it all in one night last year. Because of this, however, I have no idea if you're going to enjoy this piece of writing if you haven't watched the show. These characters are sort of the amalgamation of the ones from the Harry Potter universe and the terrible shitty people they are based on from Queer as Folk. And while I think it works quite well actually, I have a feeling Sirius and Remus might be a little out of character for some of you. I get it if that's not your thing. I will say, if you haven't seen Queer as Folk, but you still want to read this fic, please note that this is only the second chapter. As the show goes on Stuart, Vince and Nathan actually grow and change. So will Sirius, Remus, and Charlie in this story. They won't always be awful human beings. Technically, they aren't really all that awful right now. They just act terribly from time to time.
Let me know what you think of this chapter if you can, please. I'd love to know what you think so I have an idea for how to go about the next chapters. Thanks.
Chapter 2
Buzz… buzz buzz…
Sirius lifted his head from where it had previously been squashed face-down into the comfort of his waterfowl down pillow. Based on the amount of sunlight that filtered through his eyelids, it must have been almost midday. Sirius pinched the bridge of his nose and stifled a groan.
His head hurt. His feet hurt more. But the pain in his ass reminded Sirius that it had probably all been worth it. He blinked open an eyelid to find himself sandwiched between two blokes that Sirius couldn't help but compare to the likes of David Beckham and Leonardo Dicraprio. Well I certainly did well for myself last night, Sirius mused, his subsequent smile making his head twinge in pain and he winced.
Buzz buzz… Buzzzzzzzz….
"Leo" twitched in his sleep and shifted closer to Sirius, who was not opposed to the intrusion until another noisy sound of the buzzer had Sirius sighing in annoyance and extracting himself none-too-delicately from the bed, jostling the two men awake in his irritation.
But instead of making his way to the front door where the persistent guest was still punching that damn buzzer every thirty seconds, Sirius headed to the bathroom and turned on the shower. Whoever it was could wait until he was clean.
With a towel wrapped around his waist and another drying his hair, Sirius strode out his front door, down the lift and to the main entrance of his building, wrenching the door open with enough force to rip it from his hinges.
"Oh."
The young blonde in front of him twisted around and eyed his state of undress with mild amusement and contempt.
"Really, Sirius? What if I had been Aunt Walburga?"
Sirius snorted then. "Then Hell would have surely frozen over, Cissy, and when I died of shock I would have been able to go to Heaven with the rest of you saints."
Narcissa's lips quirked up despite herself and then her eyes widened in surprise as "David" stepped up behind Sirius and squeezed past. "See you tonight?"
"I'll be there," Sirius said, confirming that he would be at Canal Street again, but it was highly unlikely he would run into the footballer doppleganger… or acknowledge the man's presence if he did. But "David" accepted that answer with a wink and a smile as if Sirius had promised him a night on the Themes.
Next, "Leo" strutted out, his button up still open to reveal his bare chest. He threw a flirty, "Later, Sirius," over his shoulder as he strode in the opposite direction as "David". Sirius didn't even warrant that with a response and returned his attention to his baby cousin.
Narcissa shook her head. "What if I had literally been anyone else?"
"Anyone else as in my friends who all know I'm queer? Or anyone else as in my family who haven't set foot on this island since I graduated from Hogwarts and decided to join the RAF? I really don't think I have anything to worry about, do you," Sirius asked rhetorically, promptly turning away and heading back inside.
Narcissa charged in after him, shutting the front door with a roll of her eyes. "I just thought you'd be more cautious is all?" Sirius guffawed as he stepped back on the lift, side-eyeing his young cousin with a face that was clearly heavy with skepticism. Narcissa sighed. "Okay, so maybe not cautious, but opening the door in a towel flanked by two gorgeous blokes is practically flaunting it. I thought you never wanted Uncle and Auntie to find out."
The lift opened on his floor and he stepped back into his flat. "I don't," Sirius finally answered, making his way down the hallway to his bedroom so he could put on some clothes. "They don't care about me, so they don't deserve to know who I truly am. And if they found out about my being a poof that would just give them another reason to disown me. Their backup son is just waiting in the wings to claim the lordship—"
"I thought you didn't want it," Narcissa's voice interrupted behind him and Sirius turned around to see his normally regal cousin leaning casually against his doorframe
Sirius shrugged. "I probably don't," he acquiesced, returning his attention to his wardrobe and selecting a pair of gray pants, a tight, navy pair of jeans, and a distressed band tee that he only wore during Doctor Who marathons with Remus or when he was trying to make his family uncomfortable. He slipped off his towel and smiled when he heard Narcissa unsuccessfully try to stifle a gasp behind him at the sight of his bare ass. After he snapped his boxer briefs into place, he turned around again. "But just because I don't want to be Lord of Bum-fuck, Ireland, doesn't mean I'm going to make it easy on them."
Narcissa huffed and opened her mouth to most likely berate him with some nonsense about familial responsibility, but Sirius interrupted her before she could utter a sound. "Now, Cis, what brings you to this lovely country. News of home, I assume. They do know I have a telephone, right?"
Whenever a member of his family had "important" news to share with Sirius that couldn't wait for one of the two mandatory holidays he had to spend in Ireland throughout the year to tell him, they would always send Narcissa to calmly persuade him to return home. The last time was when Grandfather Arcturus passed away. Sirius didn't need any coaxing into attending that particular funeral however. That man had been a father to Sirius more than his own had, so the week leading up to their departure back to Ireland, instead of Narcissa trying to convince him to come home, the two cousins threw a massive party that Remus claimed didn't end until three days after they left. Cissy had puked the entire short plane trip across the narrow sea and they found out later it wasn't because of the hangover. Six months later, Draco was born. That had been four years ago.
Sirius pulled on his jeans and t-shirt as he waited for Narcissa to announce another wedding or funeral he had no desire to attend, but would most likely be convinced into making an appearance at anyway, if only to see three-year-old Draco again. However, after a long bout of silence, Sirius realized no such message was forthcoming and he glanced up to see Narcissa Malfoy nee Black standing ramrod straight and nervously chewing her lip.
"Oh God, what is it," Sirius demanded, stepping up to his cousin, clasping her forearms, and forcing her attention on him. "What's wrong? It's not Reg is it?" His brother may be a prat beyond words, but if he had to attend his little brother's funeral after everything that had happened this year, he would just have to jump off the London Tower.
"No, no," she assured him, her eyes tearing up and Oh shit this must be really bad! "No, it's me."
Sirius could feel all the blood leave his body. No. "What? Are you okay? Are you hurt? Are you dying?" Sirius inspected his cousin from head to toe but she looked perfectly normal, the only thing out of place was the single strand of hair that had escaped her bun from the traveling and the shine that lined her eyes with tears that threatened to spill.
"No, I'm fine Sirius—"
"Oh god, is it Draco. Is he alright? Did that bastard Lucius do something to him? Or is it Lucius? Is he dying? I'll care for your sake if he is."
"We're getting a divorce!"
The sudden wail had Sirius standing frozen in place as his baby cousin cried right in front of him. It took a while for her words to actually reach his brain, but when they did, he dropped her arms and breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh thank God."
Narcissa was practically hysterical now, her whole body shaking with sobs, but his words must have set her off for she screamed, "This is serious!"
Sirius raised an eyebrow, slightly unnerved but mostly angry that his cousin was still crying like the world was ending. "No… Serious is if your son is dying or you got diagnosed with cancer. Serious is if Bella and that dimwit husband of hers are finally having some kind of demonspawn. Serious is if Lucius is an abusive arse— He's not beating you, right Narcissa?"
The blonde gasped through her tears. "Of course not!"
"Well then, what the fecking hell is your problem?! I nearly had a heart attack," Sirius yelled, finally turning away from her and pacing the length of his bedroom, rubbing his face as he tried to keep his anger at bay.
Three hours later, Sirius and Narcissa were eating Indian take-away on the sofa, their feet resting on the coffee table, with the telly turned to some sitcom that neither was paying attention to, while they discussed the impending divorce Narcissa and Lord Malfoy.
"I just fear father won't let me," Narcissa admitted, spooning in another mouthful of curry. "You know how excited he was that I was marrying a Lord and joining our houses."
"Jesus Christ, it's like we're in medieval times," Sirius muttered. "Look, Cis, he'll get over it. And if he doesn't, well fuck Uncle Cygnus. He's a right prat anyway."
Narcissa rolled her eyes and sighed, setting down her take away container and turning her body with her feet curled up under herself to face Sirius dead on. Sirius couldn't help but be reminded of the fourteen year old Narcissa Black who ran away from home ten years ago. The only person whose number she knew that lived in England at the time was Sirius's, and that was how he and James ended up housing a young teenager for a whole summer. The family was furious. Sirius smiled at the memory. "I just wish I could have fallen in love with him, you know?"
Sirius huffed out a laugh. "I completely understand not being able to choose who you love… or don't," he admitted before stuffing his face with a piece of naan so he wouldn't have to elaborate further. It should be fairly obvious what he meant by that anyway and Narcissa nodded her head in understanding as she took a sip of her water.
"I just assumed that was it for me," she continued. "A loveless marriage, but at least he brought me Draco. I never thought Lucius would even consider a divorce. But one night, we had Miss Debbie take Draco up to bed and we were alone in front of the empty fireplace. The only sounds were of the ticking grandfather clock and Debbie's retreating steps and whispered cooing. And I looked over at Lucius and he looked over at me. And we just knew. This wasn't enough. For either of us."
Sirius set down his own meal and twisted his body to face Narcissa. "You're going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay."
Narcissa looked up and grimaced. "I hope so."
"Next time you visit, you should bring Draco," Sirius declared, casually leaning back against the couch cushions again.
"And where would he sleep then," Narcissa countered with a snort.
Sirius smirked and he hopped up from the sofa and dragged Narcissa behind him as he strutted toward a door. He flung it open to reveal a nursery. "Ta-da!"
The blonde blinked and looked up at Sirius in complete surprise. "Sirius, are you a father?"
Sirius genuinely laughed at that. "No. But I am a Godfather now. Lils had a baby boy last week. Name's Harry."
"Aww," Narcissa cooed. "Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. Do you think they'll be friends?"
"Depends how often you visit," Sirius pointed out.
Narcissa smiled softly and pulled her cousin into a tight hug. They'd only embraced like this twice in their lives, but for Sirius, hugging Narcissa was as easy and natural as breathing. He curled his arms protectively around her and made his baby cousin one last promise. "If things go wrong when you tell the family, I'll be here. We can be outcasts together."
He could feel, rather than see, Narcissa smile against his shoulder and he squeezed her tighter. When the landline's high pitched ring echoed around the loft, Sirius wasn't sure if he was grateful or disappointed that it ruined the moment with his closest family member.
Sirius and Narcissa untangled themselves and the former shuffled into the kitchen to pick up the receiver. "Sirius Black," he announced. "Hey Peter… no I already ate, why?… Oh well actually I have plans tonight… yeah, Magic! again… No one says you have to come Pete. I know you don't like it, but that's where I'm going, so… Yeah, sure, some other time then… bye."
Sirius hung up and sighed regretfully. Peter Pettigrew had been the fourth student in their little dormitory back at Hogwarts, a boarding school located up north in Scotland, and the four of them had been inseparable since day one and well until after they graduated and went their separate ways. But Pete took James's death even harder than Sirius did. James Potter wasn't just Peter's friend but his idol and while Remus and Sirius were Peter's mates, without James there to show Peter how to act, the shorter man took to the old prejudices his parents had forced on him as a child like a horse to water. He'd been trying to make up for it lately, especially with his idol's son about to be born, but it still wasn't enough for Sirius. His friend had said some pretty rotten things to him and Remus after James's funeral, and their relationship with the man had become stilted. He doubted they would ever return to the way things were, but then again, nothing could be the same after the hole James Potter's death left in their lives. This was just how it was now.
"Is Magic! a club?"
Sirius shook himself from his reverie and focused on Narcissa. "Yeah, why?"
"Can I come with?"
Hell now.
"Uhh…"
"… in development, but I'm not so sure the area is suited for families. I doubt it will be well received by the general public…"
Charlie picked at his mother's casserole and pretended to listen to his father's boss as he ranted about the new estate they were planning for West Manchester. His brain was filled with places he would much rather be at and people he'd much rather be with on this Friday night. Plainly, Charlie Weasley was bored out his mind and itching to track down the man who had consumed his thoughts this past week. He'd vowed that they would meet again and he thoroughly planned on keeping that promise
It had been an interesting week of classes as Charlie waited with clenched teeth for the rumors to die down. Some of his classmates even had the audacity to ask in frankly unfriendly ways about his sexual preferences. Rather than answer, Charlie would just stare at them unblinking until they tired and let him be. Thankfully, his older brother had practically been a legend at the prep school Charlie now attended, and much of that popularity had been handed down to Charlie after Bill graduated. Because of this, most of the students considered the rumors to be complete works of fiction. Technically, there was no proof that Charlie arrived on campus in the back seat of a jeep with the word "Queers" painted in red letters across the side. Or that he had asked the driver repeatedly if he would see him again. Still, many found it hard to believe that someone could make something like that up, and those that were actually there knew the truth. Charlie found himself not caring what anyone thought really. These people could make his life a living hell, but they could have always done that if they wanted. He had plenty of other things his classmates could harass him for, like how poor his family was, for instance.
But the fact that Tonks hadn't brought it up once this week is what really bothered Charlie. While Charlie was grateful for the silence, it had started to irk him that his best friend had continued on like nothing had changed. Like Charlie hadn't changed.
He was different now. Wasn't he?
"… according to my advisor— you've met Umbridge, right Weasley? Anyway, she tells me the estate's location is far too close to this Canal Street. And while I agree that the nightlife there is unfortunate, I can't argue with the acreage…"
Charlie's hand clenched tightly around his fork at Mr. Fudge's swift mention of the place that he'd been thinking about for the past five days and his jaw set with a tension that hadn't been their previously. Thankfully neither Fudge nor his family were paying any attention to him, as always, and he let out a slow breath to calm himself.
Glancing down the table he watched Fred and George subtly swap their vegetables, Fred getting all the carrots and George getting the broccoli, the twins once again reminding everyone that they perfectly complimented one another. Across from them little Ron was transferring his veggies to Percy's plate while the older brother was dutifully paying attention to Fudge. Just as he was sliding the last bit of broccoli off his plate, his blue eyes caught Charlie's own and he froze. Charlie raised a brow and smirked. Ron grinned and brought a finger to his lips. Charlie nodded his head like they were in collusion together and The Great Vegetable Emancipation went off without a hitch. Across from Charlie, squashed between Percy and their mum, sat the youngest of the Weasleys. The five-year-old had her chin resting on an open palm and her chestnut-colored eyes were glazed over with boredom. Charlie commiserated with Ginny whole-heartedly.
Tapping his finger on the handle of his fork, Charlie seriously considered making a break for it. It was entirely unfair that the seven Weasley children— six, now that Bill was on the other side of the country (the lucky prick)— had to be subjected to this kind of mundane torture once a month. It had started as a simple gesture of good faith by Arthur Weasley to his new boss and was now an excruciating tradition that even Arthur and Molly seemed to dread. The only people who looked even remotely excited for these monthly dinners was Percy and Fudge himself. The rest suffered through the slow monotony of the night with a forced smile.
Well, I think I'll just leave. Sorry family, but I'm certain I'll slit my wrists if I have to sit through this a second longer.
"Oh bollocks," Charlie shouted, shooting up from his seat with exaggerated panic. "I'm sorry Mr. Fudge, I completely forgot that I told my friend Tonks that I would help her with her Maths tonight. Her parents are out of town on business and I was supposed to order her takeaway."
"Oh, poor dear, she must be starving," his mother proclaimed, snapping out of her chair and dashing to the kitchen just as Charlie knew she would. Molly Weasley adored Tonks, but thought poorly of her parents, who were always leaving their daughter alone while they were away on business, both in pharmaceutical sales. Charlie actually liked Tonks's parents a lot, as they were always hospitable when Charlie came round. And frankly, he thought Tonks was more than capable of taking care of herself during those weekend retreats, but he let his mother think he agreed with her about Andy Tonks's lack of homemaking abilities, because that meant a free hot meal and a slice of pie of some kind. Molly did not disappoint as a tupperware container was thrust into Charlie's waiting hands, complete with leftover casserole and two slices of peach cobbler fresh from the oven. "There you are dear."
"Thanks Mum," Charlie said, leaning down to kiss his mother on the cheek before turning to his father and Mr. Fudge. "I apologize for interrupting our meal. It was nice seeing you again, Mr. Fudge, but I really should go," Charlie announced, flashing a strained smile at the boisterous CEO of Minestar Home and Development Company before hastily making his retreat. He could feel the glares of four tiny redheads on his back, but he didn't stop moving, throwing on a pair of shoes and grabbing his coat on the way out the door. "Don't wait up," he called over his shoulder before briskly exiting the Weasley house and crossing the street to the Tonks residence.
Charlie felt like he could breath again as he went around the back and scaled the trellis that lead to Tonks's open window on the first floor. He snuck inside to find a pajama-clad Tonks seated at her desk eating chow mien from the carton and reading from her history text book, the Goo Goo Doll's Iris blaring from the headphones around her neck.
"Still with that American shite," Charlie inquired, and watched as Tonks practically jumped out of her skin as she whirled around in her desk chair.
"Charlie!" Tonks clutched at her heart presumably to stop it's thunderous pounding and Charlie smirked down at her before rushing to her wardrobe and shuffling through her clothes. "What are you doing here— actually scratch that. What are you doing in my wardrobe?"
Charlie turned around baring a tight yellow and black dress that he remembered Tonks buying at the shops at the beginning of the summer and promptly hiding in her closet to never be seen again. He rushed forward and shoved the dress against her. "Come with me," he said plainly, staring into her eyes, willing for her to understand all the things he wanted to say.
"Where— Ugh, Charlie, what are you doing now?"
Charlie rushed to her dresser and pulled out the bottom drawer. "I know I left it here," Charlie muttered as he rummaged through her clothes. "I couldn't find it in mine— aha!" Charlie pulled out a bright blue t-shirt with a small gold lion on the pocket and swiftly removed the red collared dress shirt he was wearing previously to replace it with the tightly-fitted blue number that perfectly matched his eyes.
"Charlie— Charlie!" Tonks's hand closed around his forearm and he looked over at her, his eyes wide with mirth and his smile full of elation with just the smallest hint of anxiety.
"What?"
Tonks released his arm and looked up at her friend curiously. She squinted her eyes turning them into two narrow slits of green. "Should I put my hair up or leave it down?"
Charlie released the breath he hadn't even realized he was holding and engulfed his friend in his arms, resting his lips on her forehead and sighing in relief. "Down," he answered when he pulled back. "We're going dancing."
Tonks's lips lifted at the corners and she rushed to her en suite bathroom to get ready. Within seconds she had returned wearing the black and yellow dress that hugged her curves perfectly. Her hot pink hair was slightly curled at the ends and her eyelashes were long and full. She looked gorgeous.
Charlie grabbed her hand and dragged her down the stairs and toward the kitchen where he put the tupperware dish in the cooler.
"Was that your mum's peach cobbler," Tonks marveled, her eyes wide with want.
"We can have it when we get back. Now come on," Charlie said, resuming his hold on Tonks and dragging her out of her house and toward the train station.
They had made it just in time before the door to their carriage closed and Tonks giggled breathily as the train started making it's way west. She leaned into Charlie who caught her, his smile bright in the dull lighting of the train carriage. Around them, he noticed people grinning at the happy "couple" and Charlie couldn't help but snort at how wrong they were. And his smile grew wider as he realized how much he no longer cared what strangers assumed about him.
As the train pulled up to the station a block from Canal Street, Charlie motioned for Tonks to exit first and followed dutifully behind her. When they neared the street that began this whole adventure, Charlie stopped in his tracks just to take it all in. It was strange to think how one week could change his entire outlook on something he had kept hidden his whole life.
Tonks pulled up next to him and took his hand in hers, squeezing it gently as if to reassure him that everything was alright. He glanced down at his best friend. "Why didn't you ask?"
Tonks looked up, a small smirk gracing her features. "Ask what," she inquired with faux innocence.
"If the rumors were true?"
"What rumors?"
"Tonks," Charlie warned.
"Why are we here, Charlie?"
Tonks's word were like a challenge. He realized that the pink-haired girl in front him didn't want him to answer one of her questions with a simple yes her no. She wanted him to state it completely and of his own accord. He had never loved and hated someone so much in his life as he did this girl in front of him.
Charlie twisted around until he could face Tonks fully and grabbed her other hand, looking down at her from his substantial height. "I wanted you to know, before anyone else. That's why I brought you here. Because there is no one else I would rather share this part of my life with than you." When Tonks only smiled wider in response, Charlie snorted and shook his head ruefully. "You're really going to make me say it, aren't you?"
Tonks's eyes widened in mock innocence. "I don't know what you mean Charlie. I'm just so confused."
"Tch— Right, fine." Charlie took a deep breath. "I'm queer."
Tonks sighed heavily and shook her head in disappointment. "Well I guess we're not losing our virginities to each other, then." She smiled once more.
The emotions he felt after hearing her words were scattered and hard to pin down. He wanted to cry with relief and die of embarrassment, but instead his head fell back as he burst into light and bubbly laughter that pierced through all the noise of the busy street. Just as abruptly as the laughter started, it ended, and he pulled Tonks into his arms and buried his face into her neck. "Thank you."
He felt Tonks wrap her arms around him in return and nod into his shoulder. "It's alright Charlie. Everything's going to be alright."
Charlie sighed contentedly at her words and leaned back. He didn't even realize he was crying until he wiped below his eyes and felt the wetness that coated his cheeks. "Fuck," he said, sniffling as he tried to regain his composure. He knew there were people around him who noticed the crying teenager in the middle of the street, but all he was able to see was Nymphadora Tonks, his best friend.
Tonks reached up and wiped away a rogue tear with the pad of her thumb and smiled at him reassuringly. "You're alright?"
Charlie nodded in response and took a deep breath in order to steady his shaking nerves. "I've never said it aloud before."
Tonks blinked in surprise. "Never?"
Charlie bit his lip and shook his head. "Nope."
"Wow. Well… then I'm honored."
"And I'm insulted," Charlie countered, as he grabbed her hand and started leading her toward one of the clubs. He was fairly certain it wasn't one of the ones the older man had mentioned during his tirade when Charlie was here last.
Tonks guffawed behind him as she followed Charlie easily. "And just why would you be insulted?"
Charlie smirked and pulled Tonks into an alley next to the entrance of the club Magic! where it was quieter. "Because you seem to be under the illusion that I still think you're a virgin."
Tonks snorted and smirked up at him. "Well maybe I am." Charlie narrowed his eyes and raised one eyebrow. "How could you possibly know—"
"Kingsley Shacklebolt," Charlie interrupted and Tonks gasped. "Anyone could see it in the way he looked at you over that one family dinner. It was like you hung the moon and stars just for him."
Tonks groaned in embarrassment. "That dinner was months ago. I can't believe you've known this whole time. Why didn't you just ask me?"
"I figured there must have been a reason you wanted to keep it a secret," Charlie replied.
"He's my Uncle's employee and quite a few years older than I am, if you didn't notice."
Charlie tilted his head in contemplation. "He's what, twenty?"
"Yeah, exactly. That's like four years older than me." Charlie flushed a rather obnoxious shade of scarlet as he considered Sirius's age. Fuck, he has to be almost thirty. "And could you imagine my Mum's face if she found out I was with a copper. Probably not as bad as if he was a soldier, but still, right awful."
Charlie's mind was suddenly adrift as he considered what Sirius Black did for a living. Considering his trousers, dress shirt, and shoes when he dropped Charlie off at school, it was probably something corporate. And based on his upscale housing and lavish lifestyle, Charlie was certain his career field was quite lucrative. He wondered if he would ever find out what the elusive Sirius Black did during the day. Or if he would even see the man again at all.
"Charles Septimus Weasley!"
Hearing his horrid middle name broke Charlie from his silent freak out and his eyes cleared to find Tonks again. "Hmm?"
"Where were you just now? Was there a cute boy behind me or something? Because you should probably let me know these things so that I can approve or deny them."
Charlie rolled his eyes and wrapped an arm around Tonks's shoulders, casually leading her into Magic! "How about we get ourselves a few drinks?"
"Are you paying?"
"We'll see."
Remus walked into Magic! and found Sirius on the second level looking over the dance floor. He sprinted up the steps, holding his phone up. "I got your message. What's the emergency?"
Sirius blinked and turned his attention to Remus, squinting in confusion. "Oh… right. Nothing to worry about Moony. Everything's fine."
It was Remus's turn to blink. He gaped at the man before him, trying very hard to hold back his anger by clenching his jaw. "Are you joking? Because you better be joking?" When Sirius didn't crack a grin or give any indication that he cared in the slightest, simply returning his gaze to the writhing bodies in the dance club below, Remus lost it. "You've got to be kidding me! Your bloody message was: "999. Meet at Magic! now". And now you're telling me I came all this way for no reason! I was on a date, Sirius!"
Sirius grimaced, clapping a hand to Remus's shoulder and turning sympathetic silver eyes on him. "Sorry it was so awful. Did she do that thing birds do where they order a salad and then eat chips off your plate? I know how much you hate that."
Remus shrugged his friend's hand off his shoulder in annoyance and leveled a pointer finger at him. "That—" Remus paused, his pointer finger freezing midair between them. Truth is, she had done that. And, okay, so the date had been awful. He was actually quite grateful for Sirius's message as it provided him an amazing excuse to leave prematurely… but that wasn't the point. He decided to explain that to Sirius. "That is not the point."
All the heat from his previous tirade was gone, though, and Sirius barely even seemed to acknowledge his sentence, staring once again at the mass of bodies down below, probably searching for his next victim— er, trophy— um… person to sleep with?
Remus sighed running a hand through his light brown hair. "So at least tell me what your message was about, now that I'm here and everything."
Sirius looked back at Remus, giving him his full attention for the first time since he arrived. "You won't believe who showed at my door this morning…"
After Sirius explained all that happened with his cousin earlier that day, which admittedly didn't take long, Sirius concluded his story with, "… and then she somehow weaseled her way into coming out with me and I thought she would be a little much, but after a bit she just up and left me, and I don't think she's stopped dancing since." Sirius tilted his head down to the crowd and Remus followed the trajectory to see Narcissa wedged between two shirtless men dancing to the absolute shit techno music blaring from the speakers.
"Oh god," Remus groaned.
"Perfect," Sirius muttered, his tone dark and almost predatory. The dark-haired man wasn't watching his cousin, Remus noticed (which, in retrospect, was probably a good thing). No, he was looking at a man all alone in the middle of the floor, swaying sexily to the fast beat. Even Remus, who was probably the only straight man in the club, could see how unbelievably good looking this bloke was, something straight out of the films… or a porno. This man had clearly been turning down blokes left and right, many now giving him a wide brith on the floor after being rejected. Sirius narrowed his eyes like he was looking down the scope of a rifle, zeroing in on his target. He had spotted his prey and he was going in for the kill.
Remus didn't even bother. He knew any further conversation would be fruitless at this point. He simply watched, almost mesmerized, as Sirius stepped down onto the dance floor and saddled up to the most handsome man in the world, leaning in and whispering something in his ear. It was all very sensual, the way Sirius navigated the crowds and stepped into his target's personal space. Remus had to admit, he had always been fascinated by the way his friend was able to pull any bloke he wanted. It was a gift, truly.
"You have got to be kidding me…"
Remus glanced to his left where one of the regulars of the club, an old acquaintance of Sirius's and Remus's named Grayson, stood watching in awe as Sirius leaned away from the man's ear and grinned, looking pleased when the man became the to lean towards him to whisper something back. Eventually the two men seemed to become one, drawing close together, letting their hips sway to the same rhythm.
Grayson snorted. "I've been watching that godlike piece of man turn away blokes all night. What exactly is Sirius whispering to them? It always works, the fucker."
Remus smirked. Grayson was not an ugly man. He had shaggy blonde hair that probably belonged more on the beaches of Malibu then in the dreary gray nothing that was Manchester. His eyes were a very nice blue and he just looked pleasant all around. He was a catch, but in a way that lent to a longer relationship, a man to take home to your liberal Mum. No one's asking Grayson to fuck them in a back alley. Remus personally didn't think that was a bad thing, though.
"I don't know what he says," Remus admitted. "I've never been on the receiving end myself, you know."
Grayson sighed. "Yeah, me neither," he grumbled.
Remus took a deep breath, suddenly very thirsty. "I need a drink."
"A'right, later mate."
Remus managed to find a seat at the crowded bar after a large group of men Remus recognized tossed him a wave and headed down to the club. Remus waved back and settled into his seat. He cracked his neck and sighed heavily before resting his elbow on the counter and looking out at the men and women that littered Magic!. He was here so often now, this place had practically become his second home. Considering he was a heterosexual male in his late twenties, perhaps his fondness for this gay club was just a little unusual. But sod it. He felt comfortable here. He had friends here.
"What'll it be, love? On the house."
Remus twisted around to face the pretty female bartender with a raised eyebrow. "On the house?"
"Just don't tell the boss," she pleaded sweetly.
Remus grinned. "No promises. I'll have a rum and coke."
"On it."
He watched as the girl expertly twirled a bottle of rum upside down, adding two fingers to a tumbler without watching to see if she pouring enough in. She popped a can of ice-cold coke and tilted it just right to minimize foam, shook the tumbler twice and poured the contents into a tall glass before pushing it in front of Remus. Resting her elbows on the counter, she smiled prettily up at Remus who couldn't help but grin in return as he picked up the glass and brought it to his lips, taking a long sip. He set it down and nodded appreciatively.
"Impressive," he noted.
"Why thank you." Her ice blue eyes twinkled proudly.
"You're new here," Remus stated after taking another sip of his rum and coke.
She giggled. "That wasn't even a question. You come here often I take it."
Remus nodded. "Probably too much actually."
Her laughter tinkled like wind-chimes (and yes, he knew how weird of a comparison that was to make, but it was accurate). "Well, yes I'm new here. This is my second night actually. I'm still getting the lay of the land. Mostly I've learned that your boyfriend there can be a bit much, can't he?"
Remus didn't have to look behind him to know who she was alluding to. She must have seen Remus come in and the proceeding heated conversation between the two of them. He clicked his tongue. "Ah yes. Sirius Black is infamous around these parts. But he's not my boyfriend."
"Clearly," she deadpanned, probably watching Sirius grind against the hottie over Remus's shoulder. "But… don't you want him to be?"
Rather than laugh outright, he actually stopped to consider it. "Hmm…" He took another swig of his drink and chuckled drily. "Y' know, sometimes I think it would be so much easier if he was," he admitted, shaking his head humorously. "At least then I'd know someone was looking out for him. But unfortunately, as I'm woefully straight, I don't think Sirius would take too kindly to a sexless relationship… or any kind of relationship now that I think on it."
The new barmaid blinked. "Oh, well I just assumed. Sorry."
Remus waved her apology away quickly. "It's easy to assume. I am in a gay club."
Clearly happy that she hadn't made things awkward, she grinned at Remus gratefully. "I totally thought you were, like, pining or something. You looked completely defeated when you sat down and that's why I offered you the drink for free. Now I think I should make you pay for it," she joked.
Remus smirked. "What's you name?"
"Rosmerta."
Remus held out a hand. "Remus," he said in introduction and Rosmerta slipped her tiny hand into his own, smiling demurely as they shook hands.
"Nice to meet you."
"And you. Now, Rosmerta, I'll let you in on a little secret," Remus whispered, leaning in close like this secret was so private, he didn't want anyone else to overhear. She leaned in too, her eyes wide with amusement. "All my drinks are on the house."
Rosmerta huffed. "Right," she mocked stepping away and eyeing him skeptically.
"No, it's true," Remus retorted, grinning stupidly. He loved when Magic! hired new staff. It was always so much fun. "It's one of the many perks of drinking at a place owned by my Mum."
"I uh— oh… Wait, really?"
Remus smiled as he took another sip of alcohol.
"… surprisingly not as disgusting as I thought they'd be."
"Maybe women are just cleaner. The mens' toilet… let's just say I wouldn't want to shine a blacklight in there."
"Ew."
Remus turned around in time to see a flash of red hair and his hand shot out to grab the boys wrist without thinking. Bright blue eyes landed on him, and they flashed with surprise. "Oh uh—"
"You again," Remus muttered. "What the fuck are you doing here?"
"I uh— well I—"
"Hey! Take your hands off him!"
Remus blinked as his attention was brought to the young girl with bright pink hair who was wedging her way between Remus and Charlie.
"Tonks, it's okay—"
"The hell it is! What do you think you're doing, you old prick?"
Remus was so shocked by her choice of words that he actually dropped Charlie's wrist to cover his mouth as he laughed. "Alright. Point made little lady," he conceded. It never really bothered him when people called him old… or when they called him a prick. Sometimes he was both, sometimes he was neither. "Got yourself a good bodyguard there Charlie."
Charlie, for some reason, gaped at him like he'd grown another head. The girl— Tonks (or whatever the hell Charlie had called her earlier)— crossed her arms and glared at him.
"Um yeah. Thank." Charlie still seemed a bit shell-shocked and he ran a hand through his hair, making it stand on end. The look actually suited him. "Remus, this is my friend Tonks. I sort of… told her tonight."
"Yeah, we're celebrating," Tonks simpered, "so if you'll excuse us…" Tonks grabbed a hold of Charlie's hand and tugged, but the redhead didn't budge.
"Is he here?" The question was so soft, Remus could barely hear it over the pumping bass of the techno music. Jesus, how long is this song, Remus wondered. Obviously the track had changed somewhere along the way, but to Remus, all techno music sounded the same, like one long, irritating synth solo.
Remus smiled and turned to Rosmerta, holding up three fingers. "Whiskey."
Rosmerta raised an eyebrow but did as she was told, pouring three shots of whiskey and setting them on the bar. Remus grabbed up two and held them out to Charlie and Tonks who gingerly accepted. He then grabbed up his own and held it out in a mock cheers.
"Congratulations, Charlie," Remus commended, and he meant it. He'd watched numerous men come into this club drinking their woes away after coming out to their friends or family with terrible results. He was glad this time was different. He knocked back his shot of whiskey hoping it didn't mix with the rum in his stomach too badly, and watched as Charlie and Tonks timidly did the same. He leaned in to grab the empty shot glasses and looked Charlie in the eyes. "And he's over there if you want him."
Charlie's head swiveled around swiftly and Remus watched his face, knowing exactly the moment he spotted Sirius for his expression fell for split second before he turned back to Tonks. "Do you want to dance?"
"Well you did tell me to wear my hair down," Tonks deadpanned. She poked Charlie in the chest with a clipped, unpainted fingernail. "But tonight, Charles Weasley, you are going to tell me exactly what happened with that gorgeous but really old and completely out of your league man over there… preferably while we eat your mum's cobbler."
Remus leaned an elbow on the bar behind him and simply watched the two secondary school students squabble as they lead each other out onto the dance floor. Eventually they gave in to the beat and simply danced like no one was watching.
After a bit he spun around on the barstool and faced Rosemerta again who was drying a clean shot glass with a flannel. "Whiskey?"
"You can put theirs on my tab," Remus quipped.
The barmaid flipped her strawberry blonde hair over her shoulder and leveled him with an unimpressed look. "I meant that they were clearly underage."
"And celebrating," Remus added seriously. He shrugged.
Rosmerta's lips turned up at the corners despite her best efforts. "Alright." Her smile widened and Remus was suddenly entranced by it. And it was infectious.
"Hi there, I'll have another cosmo."
Remus tilted his head to left and found a very familiar blonde primly seated on the vacated bar stool next to him. "Hey you," he greeted, as Rosemerta left to fulfill Narcissa's order.
"Hi back. What are you doing here?"
Remus had to think back a bit to remember what exactly brought him here that night. Oh yeah. Sirius and his bloody 999. "Oh you know. I sort of live here."
"Do you really?"
"Practically."
Narcissa leaned in close to where he could smell the cranberry juice on her breath when she spoke. "That's fecking weird Remus."
Remus chuckled, grabbing up his rum and coke and taking a long draft of it this time. "I know."
Narcissa grinned and then her demeanor turned serious. "Okay, now this might be a strange question, but who was that ginger lad you were speaking to just now?"
"One of Sirius's…" Conquests? Lovers? One-night stands? Honestly, none of those words really incapsulated Charlie Weasley or explained the way Sirius looked at the boy that night almost a week ago. Even if Sirius seemed to have forgotten the kid in his latest pursuits, the way Remus's best mate acted around the redhead last Sunday had been weirdly out of the ordinary. And Remus couldn't think of a word that described Charlie that could got at the end of that sentence. Then again, maybe "One of Sirius's," was good enough, so Remus decided to leave it at that.
"So he's already slept with Sirius then?"
"Yeah. Why?" Now Remus was curious.
"Well, I just—" Narcissa must have had a number of Cosmos before the one Rosmerta just set down in front of her, because Remus had never heard her so hesitant to speak with authority before. "Look, okay, we got here earlier and we did the whole get a drink and then people-watch for a bit. Then I wanted to go dancing, right? But Sirius— he was watching that redhead. A lot. And then suddenly he looked all determined, like he was formulating a plan, right? And dancing obviously wasn't part of it yet so I went off without him. But, I could swear, Remus, behind those eyes of his I could see the want in them. My son has that same look in his eyes when he spots a sweet in Miss Debbie's handbag. So… I don't know. I just assumed this ginger kid had turned him down and Sirius was figuring out a way to make him jealous or something. But you're saying Sirius has already had him?"
Remus was a bit overwhelmed by Narcissa's observations and he glanced over at the dance floor to examine the situation more thoroughly.
And he could see it.
The way Sirius's eyes darted over his partner's shoulder to see if Charlie was watching. It was so quick and subtle that you wouldn't notice if you weren't looking for it. Remus stared, dumbfounded. Sirius hadn't forgotten Charlie in the slightest.
"What is it about that kid," Remus wondered aloud.
Narcissa's eyes widened next to him and she practically did a jig in her seat. "Ooh, intrigue. You," she enthused, before gulping down the last of her cosmo (wow that was quick) and hopping down from her barstool, "must tell me more sometime, 'cause god knows Sirius won't. But right now, you have to dance with me."
Remus startled out of his dazed reverie and focused on the girl in front of him. "Yeah… no."
Narcissa pouted her lips. "Come on Remus, please. I'm getting a divorce at the age of twenty-four and I really want to party, but I'm so tired of being someone's token hag. Come on, please."
Remus sighed. Narcissa looked really cute when she begged. "Okay, but I'm not dancing to this."
"Well good, it's awful. Should we go to a different club?"
Remus grinned as he stepped down from the stool, downed the rest of his drink and took Narcissa's hand in his own. "Nope, I got this," he said, dragging a tipsy Narcissa along behind him as he navigated the crowd to reach the DJ.
"Remus, what's going on, mate," the DJ, Firenze, inquired. Remus had to rely on his ability to read lips to catch the question.
"Hey mate, enough of this techno shit," Remus shouted over the thumping bass. "Play something with lyrics!"
"You go it."
Remus left Firenze to his work and pulled Narcissa back out onto the floor, the blonde laughing hysterically as he tugged he toward him and held her still. "No dancing until he plays something good, yeah?"
Narcissa nodded and suddenly the techno music was gone and a loud piano note followed by a familiar catchy bop filled the air and you could practically feel the energy in the room brighten.
Narcissa threw her head back and laughed so hard, no noise came out. "This is a good song right?"
"Abso-fucking-lutely," Remus responded, feeling the song seep into his bones.
"Good, because I think it would be sacrilege not to dance to this one," Narcissa bellowed.
You can dance, you can ji-ive, having the time of your life,
Ooh oohooh
See that girl, watch that scene,
Dig in the dancing queen
Remus agreed whole-heartedly.
There was a sharp chirping noise and Narcissa groaned into her bedsheets. Her head was on fire and the constant ringing was really not helping. There was a shuffling beside her and she winked open an eyelid to find a broad tan back leaning over to snatch his landline form the receiver.
"What," the man barked and she recognized the voice, but was too tired to think much of it.
Suddenly a pair of soft brown eyes replaced the bare back as Remus twisted around to face Narcissa.
"Uh yeah, no worries. She's here."
Narcissa stopped breathing for a second, but only for a second. This was Remus. If she was going to sleep with anyone after splitting with her husband at least it was Remus, right? She smiled shyly up at him who seemed to calm down as well when he spotted something behind her. She twisted around, noticed the condom rapper on the nightstand, and giggled when she turned back to face her lover last night. Thank god for Remus Lupin. Always thinking ahead that one, even when he was pissed drunk.
Suddenly Remus grimaced. "Oh God, please stop talking Sirius…" Narcissa raised an eyebrow in question. Remus held a hand over the receiver and whispered, "He's telling me about his own sexual exploits last night—" Remus physically recoiled at something Sirius must have said. "For fuck's Sirius, I really didn't need to know that!"
Narcissa giggled, her headache starting to subside now that her eyes were adjusting to the morning light streaming through the blinds in Remus's flat.
"Yes, I know she's your cousin, but I didn't say shit about shagging her. Me and her could have just as easily talked all night and your imagination has simply run away with you."
Narcissa turned over to lay on her back, astutely aware now of her state of undress. She snorted. They definitely hadn't talked all night.
"Well just because you pictured that doesn't mean I have to know every detail of your night with that supermodel. God Sirius, we have a very unhealthy relationship." Remus sighed. "That's it, I'm calling it. I think we should take a break for a bit… Yes, I think we should break up… Well fine! Fuck you too then!… … … Okay yeah, we'll be by this afternoon. I"m sure Narcissa will want to see Lily and the baby."
Narciss perked up at this and nodded her head enthusiastically. Remus noticed and smiled.
"Narcissa is nodding her head like a madwoman. We'll see you later Sirius… Bye."
Remus put the phone back on the receiver and settled his head back down on the pillow. Narcissa turned onto her side again to face him. "Hey," she said.
"Hi." There was a long pause as both of them just seemed to enjoy the silence. "Do you remember last night at all?"
"It's coming back in bits and pieces."
"Yeah me too," Remus agreed. "Are you… alright?"
Narcissa chuckled. "I'm fine Remus. Really, I am."
Remus nodded his head in understanding. "Good. That's good."
And it was good. She was good.
Her family had no idea what they were missing by not knowing the real Sirius Black… or the people he chose to call family.
"So…" Narcissa grinned. "How about you tell me more about this ginger lad of Sirius's before we have to get out of bed."