Waking up and finding Julia scrunched up and snoring softly in a chair beside her bed had Alexis' memories shooting through her as they collided with the morning. She was more relieved that the wedding was over than that she had pretty much made a fool of herself.

Getting the southerner up and feeding her some breakfast, Alexis almost had Julia out of her quarters before she could ask any embarrassing questions. Of course, she managed one just the same. Getting up, Julia pushed the plate toward Alexis and leaned forward. Hazel eyes held hers firmly across the marble island in the kitchen.

"So, why exactly was Bee rushin' out of here in such a hurry last night? And why did he want me t'watch you?" she asked. Julia was now wearing some of Alexis' clothes that she must have borrowed sometime during the night. Pulling her long blond hair back into a messy ponytail, Julia returned her gaze.

Alexis told the truth.

"Man, if Bumblebee looked at me the way he looks at you..." Julia sighed. "Well, let's just say it would more than make me forget about the other that... you know... abandoned me."

What she said was too much and Julia seemed to realize that as soon as her words were out. She started to apologize. Making excuses, she got rid of the newly turned eighteen-year-old. Alexis knew there was more behind Julia's simple statement than she was willing to speak of that morning.

Eyes sweeping across the large space now that she was alone, Alexis once more marveled at what was her home. The Autobots provided more than comfort and a place to live, but were seemingly willing to spoil as well. The quarters did not compare to the cramped room she was given on the first Autobot base. She had many rooms now, a marriage of Cybertronian and human fixtures and technology that served as her very own apartments. They were large enough for her and most certainly spacious enough to share.

Sometimes, when she would come home from a rather long stint with Optimus, she would return to her quarters, door shutting behind her, guilt falling across Alexis' shoulders as she was haunted by the faces of those suffering just to eat, to have shelter and to provide for their family. For Alexis knew that there were still so many more in such desperate need. However, that was why she clung to her new purpose. She did everything in her power so that they had food, a place to stay, but more than that had hope.

When she was given the opportunity, Alexis tried to instill in them a faith. One that she tried to ignore after she had lost her best friend, Diana, her belief building and growing, a new passion formed that compared to nothing else. She wanted them to know her God as she did. To believe in his promises and know that no matter what they never had to feel alone again.

Springing upwards, she went to her bedroom. Her palm pressing against a panel, the wall folded outwards and clothes swung forward. Alexis grabbed the ones she needed and got changed. Staring at the rumpled dress on the floor, Alexis knew she owed Bee an apology. She chuckled when she remembered that look on his face when she had begun to sing to him.

Sitting down on the bed, Alexis quickly tied her shoes on. A groan escaped her lips when a chime sounded, announcing that she had a visitor.

"Yes?" she asked after activating vocal transmission only.

"Alexandra, Bumblebee asked me to stop by."

She cringed, wondering what they talked about. However, knowing Bee, he probably said just enough to get the medic there. Fortunately, she trusted Ratchet anyway. He knew more about her, and what she had gone through physically than anyone else. He even knew what Alexis and Starscream had shared, and were potentially on the verge of becoming.

Letting him in, she sat down at one of the stools in the open kitchen. He approached her. Alexis saw that he was experimenting with his features again. His hair was now shorter with stubble on his chin. His clothes actually appeared rumpled and lived in as if to state that no matter what form he was in; he was one busy person.

He lifted an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth curling ever so slightly. "Drank a little last night?"

"As I told Bumblebee, I barely even had half a glass."

Looking her over, Ratchet put his glasses on, a newly added accessory that functioned as an all-in-one examining tool. She wasn't about to tell him that it made his eyes seem abnormally large and rather comical, especially not since after he had created the apparatus their exams went quicker than ever.

"So, will I live, Ratchet?" she asked.

"Longer than most, my dear. You are quite healthy. Although it would seem that your nanites are adverse to the consumption of alcohol. Is this to become a regular habit?"

She shrugged. Ratchet sat down beside her.

"It was my first and last time," she told him.

Alexis didn't tell him that after helping Mika prepare for the wedding and watching Julia design and make the dresses, then helping with the food and other things in between that she had to watch the couple interact on more of a personal level than she needed to. Seeing them so happy together had left her feeling oddly bereft and just ready for it all to be over with. After the fifth dance following the wedding, she had started to entertain the strange thought of getting drunk. Almost desperate for the sensation when somehow she had been needled into saving a dance for Rad. He was a nice enough guy as any and now a competent soldier. However, he irked Alexis because he refused to believe that she was in a relationship with a Cybertronian.

"Yes, I would suggest that you refrain from partaking again. How do you feel this morning?" the medic inquired.

"Fine. Clear. Much better than last night."

"Good. And how have the dreams been of late?"

She flinched, refusing to think about the nightmares she was having of late that were worse than any that she had before. For when she woke, Alexis had no idea what they had been about, only left with a sense of dread and unshakable terror. She hadn't had such difficulties sleeping in a long time. The chaotic dreams all started up again when Sam had given Alexis the news that he and Mika were to marry. That had been two months ago.

"Fine. The sleeping pills you gave me have helped some. And I haven't had any bad dreams for the past week," Alexis let him know.

"Excellent."

She managed to smile a little, thankful when Ratchet finally left.

Alexis had to run to the training area to get there on time. She knew if she was late that she would get a long speech about punctuality, and how it showed a lot of someone's character and their value on respect. As if someone could always fight every single circumstance and distraction, especially with everything going on around them. She wasn't in the mood for a speech.

Twenty minutes later, she found herself on the other end of a stern gaze. Prowl's choice for his human form was as unique as it was him: short white hair, sharp gray eyes, average height and a well-defined frame. Prowl wore all black with a belt around his middle; Autobot symbols lined each shoulder followed by white dashes that ran down the length of his arms. Alexis was in similar attire, although hers was a dark green. She wore a modest tank top in place of the long shirt, the belt abandoned.

"You are favoring your right foot again today," Prowl told her, looking at the appendage as if it was doing it on its own accord.

"That is because I am right-handed."

"Just the same, if I can pick it up this tendency, so will your enemy. Come at me again. This time try to think past your favored inclinations," he ordered.

She bowed her head forward. Creating his own style from several variations of human martial arts, Prowl had been teaching her for over eight months. He was a stern teacher, expecting much and pushing hard. The strange thing was that she loved every minute of it. Even when after it was done she was sore in places she didn't know she had. Even when his instructions became something out of a boot camp on a land mine, his exercises a lesson on just how far she could take herself. Yet Alexis was getting to know the tactician better as she saw glimpses beyond his stern external self. She was finding out that he actually had a sense of humor along with a deep sense of honor.

Alexis pushed off the ball of her right foot and sprang forward. Punching out with her right hand, she kicked up with her left leg. The Autobot swiped her hand easily away and caught her ankle.

"Too slow," Prowl reprimanded. "Try again."

Repeatedly, she came at him. It took her three times before her left foot finally impacted with enough force to push him back.

"Better."

They moved on. Both did a couple of sets on forms, working on different stances, and then ending as they always did with a free all out sparing match. When they were over, she sat down on the ground and breathed deeply. Prowl hovered over her, handing Alexis a bottle of water.

"You did well today, Alexandra. A little unfocused, but your friends married and departing yesterday followed by what I heard was quite the celebration, must be the cause of this."

She thought of the honeymoon the two were on. Sam and Mika were going to be gone for several months as they started their new life. Her friends were beginning by helping set up a camp while another base was built.

"Are you sure you only trained for a year?" Prowl sat down beside Alexis.

She shook her head. "Yeah, just a year. Both Diana and I took the karate class. She stopped after a week though."

"She mastered karate in a week?" His brows rising high, soft eyes studied her.

"No, but she got what she wanted, and the reason for her taking the classes to begin with: the teacher," Alexis told him as she gave Prowl a lopsided smile.

"And you stopped because?"

"Because after Diana was killed, I lost interest in a lot of things." Her tone lost the amusement as seriousness came into play.

"I see." As usual, Prowl didn't offer an apology outright, but she felt it in the two words just the same. She got up and bowed forward.

"Thank you for today's lesson," she said, smiling. "I will see you when I get back."

He nodded his head forward, and his holo-form shimmered away.

With Sam and Mika gone, Alexis found her life oddly empty. The three shared a lot more than she had realized, but now she missed. The lunches they had, the conversations, just the talking of their days over with one another or even going for drives.

Alexis was starting something new now that the two were gone. Somehow, she had been talked into working with Bee. Optimus felt confident that he had things in hand, for the time being, as she was given an opportunity to take on and learn something new. Of course, she had worked with Bumblebee before, but a part of her felt uncomfortable starting something different. She had become familiar and accustomed to working with the Autobot leader. And while she wasn't exactly being thrust into the middle of battle, the new task did fill her with an unease that she didn't quite understand.

It didn't help that the assignment signified that she also had to work with Rad and his team of ragtag soldiers. Rad's attention upon her of late made her uncomfortable. He was nice enough and obviously a decent person, but her heart was filled to the brim with Starscream. Even the most innocent of dreams she had of the Seeker could compare to nothing else. Human men would never seem the same to her.

God, she missed Starscream. The Seeker giving her a communication module so that they could speak without having to go through official channels, did little good when his contacts over the years became less and less until she had to stop putting hope in the sound of his voice. Starscream's distance was so far that the space relay between them became hindered. At least, she still got the odd report from Optimus, but the updates only made the emptiness inside of Alexis consume her. The separation was so difficult that when it got really bad, she couldn't stand to be near anyone. Personal time not allowed as much as she would have liked, Alexis pushed herself into everything she did, keeping herself as occupied as possible.

Wanting to speak to Bee before the others were due to arrive, she walked through the large compound. Following paths that curved around and through, she came to the massive operation's buildings. Entering the right-side entrance, she walked farther until she entered Bee's assigned compartments. Alexis felt relief when she found him alone. The scout was sitting at a terminal looking at a projected map.

"Bumblebee?"

"Alexis, you are early." He pressed a button. The hovering map flickered out of existence as he turned.

"Yeah, I wanted to talk to you. I wanted to apologize."

He motioned for her to join him. Alexis climbed up the side stairs until she was standing on his work table. She sat down and continued, "I hope I didn't scare you. That is, I hope I didn't embarrass you either. I was quite the idiot. It seems alcohol and my little buggies don't mix."

"Yes. I was starting to think as much. I am just glad that you are fine," Bumblebee said sincerely.

"I am. Thank you."

"Optimus has informed you of your new position?" He leaned forward a little, his gears winding quietly.

"Position? I am not sure I understand." She shook her head, biting down on her lip.

"You and I, that is, I am going to be training you in tactics and strategy. You will be working closely with me. Is this, that is, is this acceptable to you? If not I can... that is I am sure..." He rubbed his helm, words falling away into the air.

Alexis smiled at his suddenly flustered state, finding it all rather endearing. "Bumble, you're my best friend. Of course, I want to work with you. I just- can you explain to me exactly what we will be doing? Optimus said you would fill me in."

Bee bent his head forward. "As you know, the Decepticons not only destroy everything they come across, but have taken humans as slaves. Our job will be to locate them, do recon, and help free them. I know you don't have much battle experience, but I will be with you each step of the way and will..."

"Oh, I didn't know that was expected of me. I..." She jerked forward, her chest heaving as she stared up at the Autobot.

"If this is beyond what you are willing..."

Alexis deliberated for a moment. She found her answer easily enough even though once more what she needed to do was bypass her comfort zone. "No. I've come across some of the lucky escaped survivors from the camps. I've listened to what they have had to endure. If freeing them means more direct means of participation on my part than I am willing. Besides, I couldn't avoid this forever. I just, that is... don't expect me to turn into a soldier. I don't think it's in me."

After the rest of Bee's team came, she listened to what was going to be her first mission. She cringed inwardly with uncertainty but listened carefully.

"Pastor?"

The church she entered had become a second home to her, the building a recent addition to their rather unique community that rested in the middle of the base. The church's craftsmanship was breathtaking and constructed entirely of metal. The pellucid roof high above had been built to catch and collect light as it pulled it into the church, basking everyone within with a natural light that seemed to shine directly from heaven.

Going to service when time permitted, Alexis soaked in the word the best that she could. Her parents always saved her a seat for when she was on base. Going to church was one of the few things that made her feel more focused. Alexis tried to follow a routine and found herself teaching Sunday school to the toddlers, an hour and a half that she enjoyed immensely. She could become a kid again as she pushed aside the world.

"Alexis, I wasn't expecting to see you today."

Finding Pastor Michael walking toward her, she smiled. He was someone who besides Optimus and her father that she felt a paternal tug with. He was much older than her father though. Speckled gray hair adorned his head, his eyes that were younger than people of her own age, had an openness to them that seemed to shine straight to his very soul.

"Just have a CD your wife asked for. I meant to drop it off earlier, but with the wedding and everything..." She waved the disc. "Is Cindy around?"

The couple lived inside the church, their quarters taking up the second floor. Her eyes wandered to the staircase.

"Afraid not. Young Rachael went into labor, and Cindy is assisting with the birth."

"Of course. I sometimes forget your wife is a nurse."

He smiled. "With Ratchet around, her services aren't required as much, but she is still teaching the medic some of the finer points of human medical practices." He turned his head when one of the associate pastors entered the back of the room. Motioning with his hand to a pile of data pads on a nearby table, his gaze turned back to Alexis. "Are you coming to church tomorrow night?" he inquired.

"Sorry, no." She shook her head, not allowing herself to feel guilty. "Lately, I am lucky enough if I can listen to the bible on my MP3 player."

"It is important for us to gather together, and I know your parents would love to see you here," the pastor said, giving her a look of encouragement.

"I know, but Jesus is going to have to forgive me. Don't think he will send me to hell for not attending church as much as perhaps I should. And I do listen to all your services when I can."

"Will we see you this Sunday?" he asked, a thick eyebrow rising. "The children have asked for you."

Alexis cringed. Since when was her life so busy? "I'm sorry. I can't. I'm not going to be here," she informed him. "But mom already agreed to take my place, and the kids love her."

The pastor took a step toward her and patted Alexis' shoulder gently. Warm eyes stared at her with empathy, his voice lowering. "It worries me how busy you have been lately. Is there something you would like to talk about? When I spoke to Optimus last, he said you were joining Bumblebee's team."

She had come straight to the church after the meeting ended, and everything was still fresh in her mind. Alexis came to a sudden errant realization of her being the only girl in the group. She remembered that Mikaela actually loved the distinction when she was involved with Bee and Sam's team. However, her friend had been more than enthusiastic to give it up when Ratchet requested her to study under him.

"No, thank you. I just, that is..." Her voice faded away and her words stopped abruptly.

"Holding it in doesn't make it go away," Pastor Michael said gently. "Have you heard from this... Starscream?

A pang ignited in her belly. A frown started to build on her face that she quickly halted. Just hearing his name said out loud and the need to see the Seeker became intolerable. Stark sadness engulfed Alexis. She knew then that when she returned home later that day, she would be replaying some of Starscream's old messages. Knowing herself well, she knew it would keep her up late.

"No," Alexis paused before continuing, "I will make an effort to attend more. I promise." With that she handed him the disc. Excusing herself, she walked out of the church.