Fakir closed his eyes in frustration and slammed the book closed, massaging his temples. The words just swam in front of his eyes each time he tried to focus, and his mind refused to do his bidding. He shook his head and forced his eyes open. Even the dim light of the lantern on his desk scorched his eyes when he opened them, having become used to the darkness. Oh how he longed to sleep…

"Fakir?"

A soft voice rose sleepily out of the warm darkness behind his chair. Fakir sighed again and turned slowly to see Ahiru drowsily disentangling herself from the bed sheets and stumbling out of bed. He closed his eyes again, clenching his teeth.

"It's alright, Ahiru. Just go back to sleep. I only need to read this last chapter, and then I can go to bed."

Ahiru yawned, pressing the back of her hand to her mouth and stretching the other hand to the ceiling. She opened her eyes and placed her hands on Fakir's shoulders, resting her chin on his dark hair. "You said that about four chapters ago, I'm certain." The sardonic tone of her voice set a slight smile at the corner of Fakir's mouth. She enjoyed mimicking him from time to time, just to make sure he didn't venture too far into the land of egotistical snobs. The thing was, even though it was hardly dignified for her to mock him, he loved it. He loved the way she'd furrow her eyebrows and try to lower her sweet, girlish voice to match his somber tone. She looked so ridiculous that he couldn't help but laugh at her, and at himself. She always knew how to make him smile, although he'd never tell her so. Not that that prevented her from knowing it.

Fakir's breath hitched when Ahiru slipped her arms over his chest in a loose embrace and lightly pressed her mouth to the skin just below his jaw. His hands twitched; he wanted to reach up and take her face in his hands, turn and kiss her and forget about his deadline tomorrow, but his body was sluggish and stiff from having stayed in one position for so long. Ahiru lifted her lips from his neck with a small laugh, sending a warm exhalation brushing over Fakir's collarbone. He closed his eyes and tried not to groan with frustration. He just wanted to go to sleep…

Affectionately, Ahiru butted her cheek gently against Fakir's temple and drew her arms from around his shoulders. With a sigh she patted his shoulder with a hand and murmured, "I really shouldn't distract you right now. I'll go back to bed now."

Fakir sighed at the slight tone of melancholy in her voice. He just wanted to stand up and wrap her in his arms, press her face against his chest and his face against her auburn hair. He wanted to tell her that he was only doing all of this for her, doing it because he loved her, but the words always froze on his tongue. He was always afraid he'd say them wrong somehow. So while Ahiru continued to smile, even when she waited until she fell asleep for him to come to bed, and woke in the morning to find that he had left for work, Fakir constantly searched for a way to apologize, and thank her for how much she'd supported, even lifted him up over the years.

How he wanted to hold her right now… But this last goddamn chapter still stood in his way of sweet, blissful sleep. He flipped the book open and stared at the pages for another minute, trailing the letters and sentences with his tired eyes. When he got to the bottom of the page, however, the letters began to swim again and he stared for two seconds before he flipped the book closed.

Heh, fuck it.

Fakir stood and heaved a sigh to lighten the heaviness in his chest before he blew out the lamp and made his way to the bed.

Ahiru had turned away from the lamplight, curled at the opposite edge of the bed. Smiling wearily, Fakir very carefully pulled back the covers and slid himself into bed beside her. Ahiru did not wake up, which simultaneously made Fakir happy and sad. He hadn't wanted her to lose any more sleep over him, but he had at least hoped to talk to her before they went to sleep. Maybe tonight he could have said those words that always eluded him when he tried to tell her how much she had done for him, how much he'd always wanted to thank her…

The thought suddenly struck him that, with her asleep, he might be able to try and say it. This time he might get it right. He raised himself onto his elbow and leaned down to her ear, feeling her soft hair brush against his lips.

He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. He tried to think of how he should say it, but nothing would come together in his tired head. He took a slow breath and kissed her hair, then whispered, without thinking, "I love you. I'll never know how to thank you for… everything, but thank you. Thank you."

He sank back down beside her and allowed the breath he'd been holding to escape his chest. He'd finally said it. Perhaps he hadn't said it all, or perhaps he'd never say it all perfectly, but he'd said something.

"You didn't need to say it," Ahiru's voice whisper-spoke in the darkness. The softness of her voice made his breath hitch again. He felt the mattress shift as Ahiru turned to face him. "I already knew."

Fakir gave a slight laugh, furious that he'd agonized for so long and she'd already known. But he was too happy to really be angry at himself. Sighing, he slid his hands around her waist and pulled her against him, holding her tightly. In return he felt one hand snake around his torso, hugging him back. The other hand curled against his chest.

He pressed his lips to the top of her head and then brushed her jaw with his fingertips as he brought his face down to hers for a kiss. She sighed against his mouth in a rush of warm air and pulled closer. Eventually, slowly, Fakir drew back and once again tucked her head under his chin, cradling her body against his. They each drifted off to sleep just as the sky began to lighten.

A/N: So I haven't looked at this since I wrote it at least a year ago (probably just as well), but I figured it had been stagnating in my story folder for long enough. Enjoy! :)