you remember what it was like being more
you remember
you are —
slit pupils contracting liquid silver burning blue something strains at the end of your throat & you try to pull yourself apart — tear through dead nerves and snap bones between your teeth, try to drag yourself from this body so you can live again
it doesn't work like that it seems
you will never be more than you are
human & burning with it
blood trickles red down the side of your face and you watch it drip drip drip down the curve of your chin & drop drop drop slow down to the earth
pathetic
you have never hated a wound this much, never hated the sight of red more in your life
pathetic
your chest swells with the agony of it all, a burning needle set against the taut tension surface and when it bursts you go nuclear with it, starshot and screaming
human & burning with it
human & bleeding red to the bitter end
you resolve yourself to hatred & perfection
the slow rise of your lashes from your cheeks catches the light & scatters it into lines, rainbow filaments spinning behind your eyelids and shifting solid as you open your eyes
you are a study
you swallow success and it burns sweet all the way down, shivering at the back of your tongue, a constant
you learn your body & it never sits right with you
you fail on the first step but excel at the second
you are given the sun
he is small
you love him
you are human
& burning with it
magnesium flare bright — a cry for help that is never heard, never answered
think gold
think beast with an open maw
think brother with rows of snarling teeth
think think think
go back to beginning.
start again.
tell the story right, idiot.
a note: so. this continued into a strange little experimental thing. next up: beginning.