ALRPGALW Part two
Ianto stripped off his clothes, down to his boxers and watched as Jack did the same. He got in to bed. His eyes following Jack every where. He was just perfect, like a god, his god. Ianto moved over to him. When he got into bed he smile. " Perfect"
Jack had to smile. He noticed Ianto watching his every move. He was gonna put on a good show for the beautiful Welshman. One that he'd never forget. Jack pulled back the cover and got in beside Ianto, pulling him into his arms. "Mmm, I have dreamed about this moment."
Ianto rested his head on Jack's chest, listening to his heartbeat. It was so relaxing. Something about his heartbeat would could make his own racing heart slow. "Getting another half naked Torchwood operative in to bed with you, Captain?" he looked up at him as he said it.
"Another? I'm sure I don't know what you mean, Ianto Jones." Jack frowned.
"I work in the archives Jack. I read people's reports. I know I'm not the first and won't be the last Torchwood operative you have in your arms," he smiled a little.
"But I never loved any of them the way I love you, Yan. I can't remember when I ever loved this deeply." Jack touched Ianto's cheek with his fingertips. "I want this to last forever, but I know that can't be."
Ianto never knew how to answer Jack when he said things like that, so he didn't answer. He put his head back down on his chest thinking about what he had just said. Ianto felt a pang of something, was it jealousy? Maybe it was. Maybe he was jealous that he couldn't have Jack for as long as he wanted. Maybe he didn't believe that Jack loved him like he said he did. He hadn't always been truthful. He sighed quietly.
"I know what's goin' on in that mind of yours and you're wrong. I do love you. Have loved you since the night we first met. I have grown deeper in love since the Brecon Beacons. I didn't say anything...well, because you were straight. I thought you might take offence at any forwardness, on my part." He waited for any response, there was none so he continued. "I will love you for as long as you are alive. I will honour you with my body and give you my heart and soul. All I ask from you is that you trust me with our heart."
Ianto took a deep breath. "I do trust you. Everyone has a past, I just have to live with that," he looked at him. "I'm sorry, all this it's new to me, it's going to take me a while."
Jack sighed and kissed his button nose. "I know. I understand, too. But don't be sorry. Take as long as you want. I'm not going anywhere."
Ianto nodded. "Thank you." Maybe this could work, maybe they could be happy together. It could work. anything was possible. Ianto closed his eyes and like he usually did, inhaled Jack's sweet scent and fell asleep with his arm over him.
Jack lay awake for most of the night. He rarely slept. Usually he'd be out walking around the Bay or down to the City Centre. He couldn't do that, not with Ianto beside him. He sighed, closed his eyes and tried to sleep.
Ianto was wake at 5 and he sat up quickly as if something woke him up, he looked over at Jack and climbed out of bed and walked in to the bathroom, that dream had scared him, freaked him out, it was the first time he dreamt of Jack but it wasn't a nice one, he leaned over the sink.
Jack felt Ianto move off him and get out of the bed. He sensed rather than saw him go to the bathroom. Concern, Jack got up and followed him. "Yan, are you okay?" Ianto didn't answer. Jack turned the younger man to face him, putting his thumb under his chin so their eyes met.
Ianto looked at him and blinked a couple of times then nodded. "I'm fine," he took a deep breath and pulled away, splashing his face with cold water. "Just a bad dream."
Jack let him turn from him, but he wasn't going to let it rest. "Wanna talk about it? I'm a good listener, you know." He tried to laugh it off.
"No, it's okay, I'm fine. Forgotten it now anyway." He lied. Ianto grabbed a towel and dried his face. "Want a coffee?" There was no chance he was going to go back to sleep now.
Jack sighed. "You don't have to keep things from me, Yan. I'm here for you." Ianto didn't respond. Jack turned and left the bathroom, going into the living room. He got out the whiskey and poured himself a glass, sitting on the couch to drink it.
"It's five am and your drinking whiskey?" Ianto muttered, watching him from the door "There are going to be things I'm not going to tell you, Jack. I'm sorry that's just me. It's how I've grown up. It's going to take a while for me to change."
Jack shrugged, taking a long drink. "Makes no difference what time it is, I needed a drink." Jack turned the glass in his hand. "I know you have some secrets, we all do. I don't want you to tell me them all." Jack looked at Ianto. "But if you're in my arms, and you have a bad dream, I wanna know about it. Is that too much to ask? If it is," Jack shrugged again, looking into the glass, "I'm sorry, I worry about you."
Ianto took the glass off him and sat down in his lap. "It was a nightmare about you. I don't remember what about," he really didn't. "I'm sorry I don't want you to think bad of me."
Jack closed his eyes, a tear forming at the corner of each eye. "How could I think badly of you. I love you." He kissed those beautiful lips. "I never want to be the cause of nightmare, just sweet dreams." Jack held his lover close. "Let's go back to bed."
"Okay," he nodded, he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. He could never get back to sleep. He took hold of his hand and stood up and kissed it. "And I love you, too."
Jack led Ianto back into the bedroom and they got into bed and laid down. Neither would sleep, but they could hold each other. Feel their hearts beating as one and relax before getting ready for work.
Ianto lay in his arms staring at the ceiling feeling the start of a migraine coming on, so he closed his eyes and turned his head in to Jack's chest, hoping that would help before he had to get up for work.
Jack felt Ianto tense in his arms, then relax as he buried his face in his neck. Jack could only wonder at what was going on in his lovers head. He hoped Ianto would open up to him before the nightmare returned.
Ianto managed to fall asleep, his face on Jack's warm chest, his legs curled up against him. He didn't hear the alarm when it went off. Ianto didn't want to get up. He didn't feel well. Even a thought like that was strange to him.
Jack heard the alarm. He must have fallen asleep. Ianto didn't move, but he knew he was awake. "Yan?" No answer. "We need to get up."
"I don't want to" he muttered and buried his head under the blanket, he actually didn't want to get up
Jack laughed, thinking that Ianto was just playing around, but something in Ianto's body language told him different. "Yan?"
Yan took a deep breath, he had never missed a day at torchwood he wouldn't now. He sat up " I'm up" he forced a smile " Coffee?"
"Do we need to talk? If you're not feeling up to it."
"What?" he looked at him. "I'm just tired, I'll be fine once I've had a coffee." He got out of bed and pulled a hoodie on and walked in to the kitchen flicking the light on, flinching at it's brightness.
Jack sighed, he'd said the wrong thing again. Getting up, he followed Ianto into the kitchen. "I know you're tired. We both could use more sleep." he watched Ianto prepare the coffee. Enough was enough, he grabbed Ianto's arm, making him spill coffee over the counter top. "Talk to me, please."
Ianto scowled at the spilt coffee and started cleaning it up. "What Jack, what do you want to talk about? I just want coffee!" he turned to look at him coffee in his hand. "I'm tired, we have to go to work, there is nothing to talk about."
Jack stepped back, looking at the man in front of him. He was seeing another side to Ianto Jones. A side he wasn't sure if he liked. "Then maybe you should take the day off and get some rest." Jack went back into the bedroom and quickly dressed. "I don't wanna see you in work today." Then he was gone.
Ianto watched him go and he sunk down to the kitchen floor, the coffee still in his hand what had just happened, his heart raced he went to get up to go after him but his head felt like it was in a strong grip, he lay down on the floor pulling the hoodie up over his eyes and he lay there for hours and hours.
Jack sat in his office and thought about Ianto. He'd half expected him to walk through the sliding door at any minute. But that didn't happen. He picked up the phone and called his mobile, but it just rang. Getting worried, Jack told the team he was going to check on Ianto and left.
Putting his key in the door once he reached Ianto's flat, Jack wasn't prepared for what he saw.
Ianto was lying on the kitchen floor, curled into the fetal position. He was shaking. Picking him up, Jack held him to his chest, tears rolling down his face. "I'm so sorry, Yan. I shouldn't have left." He kissed the top of his head, pulling the hoodie away from his face.
Ianto buried his head in Jack's chest tears falling, he literally hadn't been able to move, he was freezing cold, the coffee over the floor were it had fallen out of his hand. " Made a mess," he whispered.
Jack kissed away the tears. "To hell with the mess, that can wait. Let's get you to bed and in the warm." Jack carried him through to the bedroom and put him into bed. Taking off his own clothes, Jack got into bed beside him naked. "Gotta warm you up fast, you're freezing."
"B...been lying there all day," he stuttered.
He could hardly talk he was so cold, he shook against Jack.
"I'm sorry."
"Hey, hey. Don't be. I shouldn't have walked out on you this morning. I half expected you to come to the Hub." Jack rubbed Ianto's back, trying to warm him up. "I'll never leave you like that again, I promise."
"I tried to come to work. I tried to follow you," he couldn't stop shaking. He felt like such an idiot. He'd always been so independent. Would of lay there until he could get up, if Jack hadn't of came and gotten him. Ianto hadn't felt this ill in a long time.
"Sshh, it's okay. Try and sleep." Jack kissed him on the lips. The kiss deepened. Jack hadn't touched Ianto intimately yet, and his hand travelled down Ianto's back to his butt. He moved his hand over the firm cheek, kissing Ianto deeper, longer, taking his own breath away.
Ianto got distracted by the kiss, he gasped pulling back from Jack, he loved him so much but he couldn't even think straight, he didn't want this not now, not when he was ill.
Jack read the confusion in Ianto's eyes. "Sorry, got a little carried away. I'll put some clothes on."
" Don't go." Ianto muttered and grabbed his arm holding it tightly. "Please I don't mind just don't leave me."
"I wasn't gonna leave, just didn't want you thinking I just wanted to make love with you. I do, of course, but, when your ready, and you're not ready that is, and..." Jack spoke so quickly he was getting all flustered.
Ianto put a finger to his lip "Shhh." Their roles had just completely changed he was doing the comforting. "I know."
Jack kissed the finger on his lips. "I love you, so much, I just want everything to be perfect. I know this is all strange and new to you, but I would never hurt you. I want your first time to be as good as the third or tenth." Jack laughed. "There I go, getting ahead of myself again."
Ianto closed his eyes. They were stinging because of the light. "I know Jack and it will be," he whispered.
Jack nuzzled Ianto's neck. "You are so beautiful and you don't know it." He slid down further in the bed, taking Ianto with him. It was warm and Ianto had stopped shivering.
Ianto was warm now, his head hurt but less now Jack was here. He felt content, happy, safe. "Love you," he muttered before he fell asleep.
Jack smiled, kissed the top of his loves head and closed his eyes.
Soon he too was asleep, dreaming of a life with Ianto beside him. A life that stretched into infinity.
When Ianto next woke, he had no problem remembering what the nightmare had been about. He looked over at Jack and breathed deeply was he really that insecure that he dreamt about Jack hurting him, leaving him... He sighed.
Jack looked at the clock on the nightstand, just after he felt Ianto lay his head back on his chest. It was 8.30pm. He heard Ianto sigh, and wondered if he was okay but was worried about asking him, so he kept quiet, for now.
"I had the dream again," he told Jack. He couldn't keep silence any longer. He needed to start talking to Jack. He hated it when Jack kept things from him, so could imagine what it would be like for him right now. "About you."
"It wasn't good, was it? Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you?" Jack's face clouded over. "That's it, isn't it? I hurt you. Is that why you wouldn't let me make love to you this morning?"
Ianto looked at him. "It was about you," he whispered." But that's not the reason... I'm sorry." He felt bad, he sat up. " I'm sorry." he moved to the edge of the bed to get up. He wasn't ready.
Jack moved across the bed and took hold of Ianto's wrist, stopping him from leaving the bedroom. "It's okay to say no. If you're not ready, tell me. I'll understand. I'm content to just hold you and to kiss you. I won't push you into anything you're not 100% confident with." He let Ianto's wrist go. "Maybe I should leave and give you some time on your own." Jack got out of bed, not the least embarrassed to let Ianto see him naked.
"You promised me you wouldn't leave me," he sighed. "In my dream you leave me, you always leave me and go with her. Please don't go back to her." Ianto stood up and looked at him. "Stay with me."
Jack grabbed him by the shoulders holding him firmly. "Go with who? I love you, I keep telling you that. There is no 'her'."
"With Gwen." He finally said, blushing. He hated how jealous he was over her, it was eating him up inside, but he wasn't blind. He had seen the chemistry between them. Seen the look Jack still gave her. Ianto couldn't help what he dreamt.
Jack let him go and stepped back. "Gwen. You think I'm in love with Gwen." Jack laughed. "You are so wrong, Ianto. We flirt a little, but I don't love her. Besides, she has Rhys." He sat down on the edge of the bed. Putting his head in his hands. He felt worn out. Ianto was wearing him out with his accusations, and they were unfounded.
"Maybe you should go," he stood up and walked in to the kitchen and shut the door. Ianto looked at the mess on the floor and started cleaning it up. His stomach was turning, he needed time to think, to digest what was going on. Why he was jealous.
Jack got dressed and stood outside the kitchen door. He debated knocking and going in, but decided against it. Ianto needed time to get his head around this relationship. Maybe it wasn't what he wanted after all. Maybe Jack wasn't the love for him. A tear slipped down Jack's face as he closed the front door and headed back to the SUV and the Hub. His heart was aching and he'd only been gone a few minutes. What would it be like in a few hours when he'd have to sleep alone?