Wow. I smiled so much when I saw the comments on this! :D Thank you to all who commented! Please, continue to do so, it stops me fidgeting...
2.
"I thought the day would come when I would be mortally wounded, you know, heroically mortally wounded, saving a princess or something equally...heroic. But no, I die on the way to fixing a Pegasus style bloody tractor! I mean, it's not as if we were on a rescue mission, or something spectacular that would befit my status and carry me into legend, or the annals of science. No, I will die as a result of farming. Farming!" Rodney ranted.
"Why me? Why is the most important person on Atlantis flying down to a small time agricultural village to fix a tractor? Because everyone else is doing something meaningful while I am stuck on a three hour jaunt with Major Pain-In-My-Ass as company! Yes I know it is Colonel, but you are a MAJOR pain in my ass!" He paused to regain his breath but the silence did not last long.
"Oh no you don't! Don't you shake your head at me, John Sheppard. You know you annoy the hell out of me and I swear you do it on purpose. Hell, I could even believe that you died here on purpose just to piss me off."
He broke off from his ramblings to look again at John's lifeless figure, wishing that his ranting would somehow rouse him. He knew his rants often irked John to the point of distraction. There were times when his rants were perfectly justified, but sometimes he did it on purpose because he knew it annoyed the dark haired pilot.
"Just my luck that we be hit by a chunk of red hot flying debris from a flaming wraith dart, pun intended, moments after it exploded. Still, would have been nice if it had exploded before it had fired upon us, then perhaps the damage wouldn't have been so bad. I mean, where the hell are we anyway? Are we even on the same continent as the Ergcarl settlement? Only you could find a Wraith dart just about to dial out of a gate we just dialed in. Honestly John, you could find trouble in an empty, vacuum sealed room."
He tried to remain angry, but it felt wrong. He should not be angry with the... he could hardly even think the word.
The misplaced anger fueled another futile attempt to free himself. The fire the effort ignited in his side sent the breath rushing from his body, halting his struggles. With each aborted attempt to move the metal pressing down on him it became harder and harder to concentrate. Each time his eyes closed, longer periods of time disappeared.
As his body became chilled and his thoughts began to wander, imaginary John began making more appearances in his minds eye. At this moment he could see him sitting upon the crushed metal at the back of the ruined jumper staring at the hands he rested upon his knees.
"John?"
The figure looked up and smiled that huge cocky smile that made girls weak at the knees and Rodney jealous beyond belief.
The figure of John looked to the sky questioningly.
"Yeah John. We fell from the sky. I can not believe that you of all people could not out maneuver a dart. I know he took us by surprise and everything, but you are...well...better than them. When he hit us and the drives went down, I still knew you could do it. But then it exploded. Just enough to throw us into gravity's realm and pull us down."
John bowed his head in what Rodney took as an apology.
"Wasn't your fault John. How were we to know that there was damage to the drone launch system, that when you fired it would rip the jumper apart? God but you are a sanctimonious ass. You are not, despite all seeming that way, a hero of the air."
Rodney heard a sound above him. He looked up into the brightening sky to see a large bird fly over head, probably coming back to roost after a night of hunting. He watched it as far as he could see, wishing he was able to join it, but those wishes only brought a hollow feeling of remorse as he thought of the broken bird that lay three feet from him.
John Sheppard loved to fly. Be it a casual flight or them fleeing for their lives, Johns face was filled with wonder and freedom when flying, like a child given free reign at a toy fair.
The feeling that he had when he thought he would never see that look again, nor the cheeky smile or the sparkle of mischief in those green eyes. Words could not describe it. A trickle of wetness smeared at the edge of his eye, as he thought of how perhaps John was the bird over head. That somehow he had achieved the ultimate flight, reveling in the wind beneath his wings.
"Oh McKay, you really are losing it now." He said to himself.
The figment of John looked at him with sorrow in his eyes.
"No." Rodney said quietly. "You are not dead, not to me, not yet."
The figment turned away and stared back at his hands as Rodney looked up at the sky above him, his eyes glazing in memory.
"Clear blue skies. All my troubles, just drifting away. Ok, stop talking now."
"Rodney you're a good person. Know that we love you."
"You love me? Really? All of you?"
"In the way a friend feels about another friend."
"You're just saying that because I'm gonna die...Oh God, I can't believe I'm gonna die!"
"Alright, just back to the blue skies."
"God, I remember that time I took the blast from that damn ancient machine trying to, yet again, save the damn city. That time from complete power loss, but still, saved city!"
Figment John rolled his eyes at Rodney's typical ego trip.
"Those super powers were so cool, wish I could have kept some of them! But then things went wrong, and of course, you were there.
"Try meditation Rodney, try to ascend Rodney." Gah. You were so concerned and believed that I could do it so much that I almost believed it myself. You are such a damn prick, do you know that? Calmly knocking out suggestions and trying to help while I fall to pieces. Always there huh? You would not do my eulogy for me? What the hell?"
His eyes were getting heavy. It was taking longer to waken and remain conscious for any length of time. He sighed and rubbed his eyes, trying to rid them of the weights dragging them closed.
"I get that actually, I know why you didn't want to do my eulogy. Funnily enough, I suppose if it were me, I would have been the same. . . . What are you sniggering at? I am not just the egotistical lunatic you all seem to think I am. I have feelings...somewhere."
Rodney looked away from the figment, feeling stupid for his outburst to someone who did not exist.
"I was invincible you know. Completely invincible. The powers that machine gave me let me feel like I could do anything. I only wish I had a fraction of those powers now. Maybe..."
He sighed and closed his eyes, remembering the time when he almost ascended.
"You wouldn't let me go. You couldn't accept I was on my way to complete and finite meltdown. Damn but you kept me going, day in and day out with meditation and such. I've often wondered why."
Figment John looked at him, his eyes conveying that Rodney knew why.
"I get it. I do, really. I just feel that I was never worthy of such friendship."
His hallucination laughed a silent laugh and shook his head.
"Ok, ok. Can I be honest here? When you turned up at the Antarctic base that day with Jack O'Neil, I really didn't like you that much. Strolling in as if you owned the place, your smug little face on your spinning head taking in every detail. Then you managed to activate the chair beyond anything we had imagined, without added help from ancient devices, and got your self an instant pass to something I worked my ass off for. Well, I admit, I was a little jealous of you, who wouldn't be, huh? The swaggering gait, the charm filled face full of calculating intelligence. You just irritated me, I suppose as much as I irritated you. But it all changed when we started going on missions and hanging out."
The jealousy and bitterness had long left Rodney McKay's mind. He regarded John as close a friend as one could ever have, even though he never voiced that sentiment, not once.
"Bickering brothers Teyla once called us. I was offended by that to begin with but then I realised how true it was."
John was still staring at his hands, as if he couldn't hear anything that Rodney was saying.
"I'm pouring out deep emotions here! Things I would never dream of saying if you were alive! The least you could do is acknowledge them!"
His mind was warping his perception and it was getting to the point that this John, this figment, was just as real as the one laying a few feet from him.
Reality was out of kilter and Rodney was unsure if this was due to his injuries or his own mind. But it was helping him to forget the pain he was in, stopping him thinking about the blood slick that felt so much worse than earlier.
Figment John cocked his head to the side in a curious look as Rodney's eyes fluttered momentarily.
"I'm just tired, don't worry. I just need to sleep...I just..."
As his eyes closed, figment John fuzzed and disappeared as Rodney relaxed into unconsciousness.
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TBC...