'How I'm gonna make each moment better than the last
How I'm gonna make it better if
I can't go back' – Rosi Golan "Can't Go Back"

On the first night the nightmares were filled with blood and screams, they were overwhelming. They were biting, swaying and scratching. First of all: scratching. She woke up eight times and checked her chest in fear of finding a deep, black hole there. But it wasn't there.

Even when she severed ninth time.

Sakura abruptly became more silent, tired and sleepy. She went out very seldom – people were avoiding her and throwing her suspicious glances. It was like a never ending story for her. Even her friends were nowhere to be found. To her it was like solitude was laughing at her face. Maybe because she was the one of the trio who never had truly been alone?
And these moments were gnawing at her, over and over again. The pain was eating her up. And to top it all the hospital started to feel like a tomb. A huge part of the pink haired girl died there a long time before the war started. Every time she was there the nurses and other doctors looked at her angrily with looks of mute accusation - "that was your fault, you couldn't save her". With that the pain in her heart was growing as fast as her headache.

On the tenth night of bad dreams she couldn't help but crying like a lost, fragile girl.
And when she was speaking it was gibberish of sorts, mixed with apologies for everyone she could not save.

She had been screaming like fool on the night she saw the brown, wide open eyes.

In moments like these she hated the fact that she was.

Being oh so strong, yet so desperate.

Slowly Sakura forgot how to live without pain.

On the twentieth night he coursed himself for returning. The sheets of his bet were rumpled and dirty from his blood, which was flowing from his sharingan eyes. Nevertheless he preferred the nights over the days.

During daytime he eventually trained but did nothing more. Sometimes he was just walking around and counted the new trees behind the district. It gave him chills. On the main streets of the village he could still hear whispers like "that damn Uchiha brat, he should die" or "last of a clan of pieces of shit".
And it all haunted him – the family and the voices. He hated this so much. Disdain crawled through his veins like a snake and the flames of Amaterasu.

On the twenty-fifth night he burnt a hole in a wall because his bitterness and loneliness were too much to bear for him in this place so full of faked happiness and hypocrites. The small voice in his head bitterly mocked his own stupidity.

Sakura was walking through the village, it was a hot summer day and the voices of the people around her were unpleasantly loud for her. Her eyes were dull and distant but deep inside they were shining like they used to do so long ago. She had tied her hair back in a high ponytail and with that she looked older, more tired but yet so beautiful. Before the war she used to be the most beautiful girl. Now there was just a little left of her loveliness. In this season Konoha was crowded with young people and brimming with business. For her they were all just running in circles, everyone just another participant in the rat race. She bought something to eat and several flavors of tea. To her green tea was the best – maybe because a small sip was enough to taste all of its bitterness, and it soothed.

"Where have you been, Sakura-chan?" the old shopkeeper was looking at her with her watery grey eyes and a peaceful smile on her lips. Seeing that almost broke Sakura's heart, if the war wouldn't have already done that in many different ways. "You look like a ghost! Who's feeding you, sweetie?"

Her bitter mind is screaming – no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, no one, please, please.

"I'm always in a hurry these days," she replied and slapped on her fake smile that already strained her. "Thank you" she said and took her full bag full of purchases, after that she was on her way home. Home. There were days when she forgot about the emptiness of her apartment and it crushed her every time when there was no response to her almost cheerful "I'm back". With her gaze fixed on the ground she bumped into something, better someone. She figured it was better for her if she didn't use her trained ninja instincts.

"Sakura." He was alone and the fatigue on his face softened her expression. And here they were – fallen heroes, with cut bonds and having failed their commanders, who were forgotten by everyone by now. It's funny how fate turned everything upside-down.

"Sasuke," the suffix "-kun" died in her sore throat. She thought that she could see he noticed by the way he twitched. And it hit her that he was more alone than ever. They won peace, but became shadows of themselves. He wanted a home and received a cold crypt.
"How do you live?" Sakura's voice sounds meek and frail, which had him looking at her with an evaluating stare.

"Fine. Tch"

"That's good"

"Aa."

"I think I'll go," she waved at him and slowly turned around. It was hard for her to leave him behind; it made her feel uneasy if he had to look at her back like this.

"Wait." Again it was a demand of the lost, broken boy from ancient times. She was Sakura after all – the girl of his childhood's days who was trusting and loving with her all heart. And with the love for him still in her heart she glanced at Sasuke with sadness written all-over her heart-shaped face. But this time he was silent with his eyes fixed on her as if he was fascinated. But behind his mask she thought she detected concern instead of assessment. "Go"

It's the same Sakura who allowed her own emotions to hurt her, because even the strongest have their weak point.

It was her twenty-ninth night after her return when the pain finally became too much and empty walls of her apartment were pressing down so much on her that it scared her. It took her almost thirty days to think through everything and decide about what she wanted to do; about rekindling her bonds and getting back a life. She was healer, nevertheless she was a broken girl inside, one who never had her happy ending.

Now she stood in front of the mahogany door with her shaking hand outstretched. She was stuck between her old life and her new one, arguing with herself whether she should knock or not, as a warm summer rain started to pour down on her. Her lovely pink hair was slowly soaking through, her tresses getting paler, turning almost white.

"Sakura." Before she could knock the owner of said house snapped her out of her thoughts as he growled at her. "What the fuck you're doing here?"

"I'll stay." It's a promise for the better, a better world and time for them. For the two people who once were teammates and now were strangers, strangers who wanted to kill each other mutually. It was ironic because it were Sakura and Sasuke.
Sakura, who had loved him and still did, but more maturely. And Sasuke, who had hated them for so long and still did to some point. It was ironic because these two teenagers had to fix themselves before they fell apart.

"Hn"

AN: Re-written and beta by Hina, thanks to you! Your comments give me so much power! Kisses.