May 18

A tiny drop of sunlight was pooling in from barley open curtains, ribboning across his closed eyes, dragging him from slumber. America awoke with a deep drowsiness set in his head. It took all his strength to pull himself up and even then, his eyes were heavy and his mind still clouded with reveries. 'Why must I dream of him?' he wondered, face in his hands as he laid back down.

The bed creaked as he heavily sighed, head spinning with a dull ache. The covers shifted slowly as the form beside him rolled so quietly over, drawing his attention to the small Japanese man. His eyes were closed lightly, cheeks flushed and lips barely open in the perfect form of pure sleep. Alfred swallowed the lump in his throat, remembering how Ivan and him had acted after the conference. 'Poor guy doesn't know a thing.' his calloused hands fingered a few of the dark stands of hair, the locks silky and smooth to the touch. Tiny, warm eyes fluttered open as Alfred pulled away, the man's smile growing.

"Don't stop," he whispered serenely, his hands taking Alfred's in his own, pressing his palm to his cheeks, the American's heart quivering at the simple gesture. Kiku then brought his hand to his lips, the rose petals brushing the promise ring on his finger. "Have you been up long? You look tired," he drew up on his elbows, softly looking down at the younger nation, a hidden smile beset on his face.

"Naw, I'm fine, just thinking." It wasn't really a lie, at least not yet, but he knew what was coming next.

"About what?" the innocence in the question hurt Alfred to hear, especially since he didn't have the heart to answer correctly.

There was a pause as Alfred drew up and stretched, muscles sore from last night. "Well, just things about the meeting." He mentally rewarded himself for that one. Wasn't a lie. Just a bit vague. Kiku upturned his face, brown eyes glittering in a vivid remembrance.

"I heard Hungary-chan is going to have her baby!" there was a bright tune to his voice, "She's been simply glowing these last few weeks." America nodded at this, hoping the conversation wouldn't start up again. "You know, in a few months, she'll be bringing him to meetings. Think of how tiny his little feet will be, and such big, curious eyes." The grin on Kiku's face widened at the thoughts of a baby toddling around the house, hand knit blankets folded in cribs, plush toys scattered in a nursery. Alfred could see it in his eyes, that motherly attraction Kiku always acquired when talking about children, but there was always that awkward, dry feeling that seemed to press in on America at the thought.

A silence seeped between them as the two thought in their own worlds, Japan finally willing together the courage to pipe up. "We could have our own you know,"

"Kiku we've talked about this." He was resolute as he spoke, being as gentle as possible as he touched base on his partner's thoughts. "I just...you know. We're just not ready." He was almost shaking as he played nonchalant.

He had thought about having kids. Whenever Mattie brought over his little daughter, Alfred loved to pick her up and play with her, her smile bright and heart melting as she giggled and laughed. His favorite feeling seemed to be when he read to her, and her lilac eyes would be half mast and tired, her little fingers loosely gripping his jacket as she was lulled to sleep. But he wasn't sure why he felt like this, as if having his own would be weird.

Japan must have seen some foreign guilt in his eyes, because suddenly Alfred felt Kiku's hands on chest, grazing then by his cheeks, closing around his neck in an embrace. "I'm in no hurry. I understand. It was just a thought." America pulled him closer, breaking from his day dream and kissing the naked skin of his shoulder where Kiku's kimono had slipped down.

-That Afternoon-

"Just a thought, dear. I am, how do you say, just thinking out loud." Russia laughed as the two boys walked through the mall, both intent on finding the perfect gift for Elizevta and her baby.

"Ivan, I don't think we should go all out on this whole gift thing. Can't we just get her a gift card or something?" Alfred wasn't lazy or anything, he just didn't think he wanted to spend his whole day looking through baby clothes.

The Russian shook his head, beige bangs falling in his eyes. "No no, have you no manners? We have to pick out cute clothes and toys for her baby boy. Gift cards are rude, like saying, 'Here, we thought about you, but didn't have the energy to actually put effort in it.' We are not going to be rude, tiny Amerika. We are going to be civil." Alfred fought not to roll his eyes at the sing song tune in his voice, that accent light and fluffy like crème today as they walked toward the back of the store. "Besides, I like to shop for little ones."

"Really?" Alfred raised an eyebrow at the little side note which Russia had quickly slipped into the end of his sentence.

"Da. I don't know why but I cannot help but smile when I think of such tiny babies." His large hands picked up a little blue blanket, the fabric unfolding to show sweet brown lines, and a checkered board finish. America watched as his friend's eyes clouded over with a placid passion, his smile widening as a little laugh passed his lips. "How about this one?"

Alfred shook his head to clear his thoughts, but Russia took it as an answer of 'no'. He folded it gently and kneeled to find a green one this time, bringing the earthy cloth to Alfred's eye level. "What about this one?" the younger nation took the blanket, his fingers brushing the cool tips of Ivan's, as he felt the soft texture.

"Ya, I like this one. Its soft, too." he mused aloud, rubbing circles over it with his thumb. With a nod, Ivan added the blanket to the cart and they went on.

After a few hours of searching, the two had started laughing and remembering things of their past, such as England and France's upbringing of Alfred, how Ukraine had played Mom to Ivan his entire life, a cart full of infant stuff already bagged and paid for, the two walking to the car, completely comfortable by now.

"You know, I never thought that I'd ever want children, but after looking through all this stuff, I guess I'm swaying over." Alfred added a laugh to his sentence, Ivan's coy smile playing nicely with his tender gaze.

"I think you'd make a wonderful mother." He said honestly in passing, the blonde quickly looking toward him with real shock in his eyes.

"What? ME? A mother? Oh no, no, no. I couldn't." he laughed again, waving his hands in a negative gesture.

Russia had finished packing the bags into the back of America's cherry red mustang and was sliding into the passenger seat when he began the argument. "I'm being serious Amerika, with such a tiny figure and girlish looks I can see you plump and rounded now," Alfred revved the engine, laugh dying down as he saw how serious his friend was being.

"Ya, right, there's no way," with a childish eye roll he turned back to see if he could pull out when a tender hand covered his, Ivan's form leaned over, gently pressing him against the door, head thudding back onto the window.

"What are you doing," he asked in a quick whisper, a tinge of thrill and excitement lighting up in his chest.

Cold hands lifted the hem of his shirt, slipping over the finely toned muscles of his stomach, thumb barely circling around the rim of his belly button. "Imagining you carrying my child." Alfred closed his eyes trying to hold back a whimpering moan that was sticking to the back of his throat. Ivan bent his crown to rest on Alfred's, their lips lightly brushing, the heat in his cheeks growing as his heart sped up.

"Think of what it would mean, if it happened. You'd wake up in my arms, a tiny being inside you, growing and showing the world what we've done." a cruel smile was on his lips as Alfred's hands laced across his back, head turning from side to side as Ivan nuzzled and caressed his neck.

Thoughts and blurred visions of a tiny girl with silvering hair, and cerulean eyes passed before him. 'She's from my dreams,' he thought as he felt Ivan's hands leave trails of fire down his skin, his warm lips nipping playfully at his color bone. 'She's the girl I see when I picture my future child.'

Was this what he wanted? To mother Russia's children? But Kiku-

His eyes shot open, his passionate reverie dissipating at the thought of the sweet angel he had left at home.

"Ivan, get off," his voice was shaky, the entire car stuffy and pressing in on him suddenly. "I said off!" his hands shoved the Russian back into his seat, amethyst gaze still tender and kind. "I'm sorry, but you know I'm."

"Yes yes, I know." Ivan held his hands up in a peace offering. "You're taken. It's just when I look at you-"

Alfred shook his head quickly, "Don't start this. He's my...we're..." the conversation with Kiku that morning came to mind, and the dreams, and then after conference meeting. "Ivan, its complicated."

The two stared in silence, as if to try and decipher whatever thoughts were going on behind the others brain. At last, it was a defeated and patient as always Ivan who had broke the solitude.

"I'm sorry." he apologized, the actual tremble in his voice a little weary and worn, "It was just a thought."

Author's note: TADA! I wasn't sure if I was going to go through with this and write the rest of the chapters, but I just simply had to keep going. I'm not sure if anyone out there is actually reading these, but I'm open for suggestions and votes on what Alfred should do. Play uke and be with Russia or play seme and be with Japan. :) I just can't wait for someone to be knocked up and have a baby. lol. Maybe we'll finally see Preg-Hungary or at least some Motherly Matthew.