Eternal Midnight by Starrylove, a Twilight fanfiction.

Rating: T

Genre: Romance/Angst

Pairing: Edward/Bella

A/N: I know the summary sounds very New Moon, with the whole Edward thinking it's best to leave Bella, etc. But, I can assure you, there's more to the summary that I can't reveal until it happens, so I hope you can stick with me!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters. I badly wish I owned Edward but unfortunately, he's property of Stephenie Meyer (well, and Bella Swan, I guess. Damn). Also, the song Edward listens to in this chapter is called "Storm" by Lifehouse (beautiful song…listen to it!). I don't own that either.

None of it mattered.

It didn't matter whether we were dealing with vampires or humans. It was love. Alice had seen it countless times. Making it not only love, but our intended future.

I shook all thoughts away, my eyes focusing back to Bella in her deep sleep. I didn't want to miss a beat. It would be one of the last times I'd see her in that state; eyes closed, lips half parted, and dreaming.

I returned back home later that morning at nearly 11 a.m.

"Hey Edward," Emmett snickered, patting me on the back countless times with a force that would have effortlessly pummeled a human to the ground. "I thought Bella was an early riser. I guess you kept her busy for a couple hours, huh? Very nice."

I rolled my eyes and continued walking up the stairs.

"Remind me to kill you later," I hissed, hoping to sound somewhat threatening. Emmett, unfortunately, seemed to find the situation even more amusing.

"Don't be like that. It's not very nice to Bella, you know. I'm never cranky when I get some action from Rose. Actually, I'm quite--"

I didn't give him a chance to finish his sentence as I gave my brother a quick, dismissive wave and briskly shut my bedroom door. I personally had no interest in hearing about Emmett and Rosalie's various methods of outwardly showing their affection for one another.

Slowly, I walked over to my stereo and pressed play, the sound of the mix CD Bella made me the other day, filling the room.

Lying on the bed I had bought for her comfort rather than mine, I put my hands behind my head and closed my eyes, focusing on the music.

How long have I been in this storm?

So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form

Water's getting harder to tread

With these waves crashing over my head

If I could just see you

Everything will be alright

If I'd see you

The storminess would turn to light.

And I will walk on water

And you will catch me if I fall

And I will get lost into your eyes

And everything will be alright.

The song continued at its slow, simple pace and I felt my muscles begin to slightly relax. The way the voice ensured that one look from his love would brighten anything, no matter the situation, surprisingly comforted me. I thought of Bella's shy, dark eyes and felt a smile pull at my lips.

And everything will be alright.

Although Emmett had lived up to his reputation of being incredibly vulgar about certain topics, I had to ashamedly admit that he had not been entirely wrong. As the wedding day swiftly approached, it grew increasingly harder to display self control, especially when every night, she was lying next to me, dangerously close and cuddled against my hard chest. I'd tried to convince her multiple times that lying on me was not exactly the most comfortable way to sleep, but her stubborn nature refused to listen.

Of course, watching her peacefully sleep against me had its advantages. Every time she breathed my name, I could almost feel the warm blood rushing back into my cold veins. Every time she mumbled some ridiculous, incoherent thought, I couldn't help but foolishly smile and press a quick kiss to the top of her head.

No matter the advantages, my self preservation crumbled even more when she'd say those three words, letting them delicately roll off her tongue. I'd become accustomed to those words ever since the first time I'd introduced her to the meadow. Our meadow. I wasn't fully sure why I had taken her there so long ago. Whether it was because I was so convinced that she would finally realize what a monster I truly was and safely run away, or a sad excuse to spend real alone time with the fascinating girl I had fallen in love with, I didn't know for sure. Whatever reason it was, it ended up releasing the whirlwind I was living today.

Whether I deserved it or not, was still unsure.

I only knew that every kiss and touch we shared had been growing in intensity and therefore, increased the risk of hurting her. It was true that my hunger was surely easier to contain than it had been the first months we had been together, but recently, my limits were being pushed.

The problem was painstakingly clear: I was a vampire who thirsted for her blood, yet at the same time, a man who craved for entirely something else. A nearly deadly situation. When I had seen her finally stir from her dreams this morning, no matter the countless years of education I'd gone through, I could not think. I could only feel. Within seconds, my body was on top of hers, pressing firmly, but making sure I was not crushing her. After whispering to her that Charlie had safely left for work and that we were alone in the house, I buried my face into the crook of her neck, trailing soft kisses down it. She responded by breathlessly requesting a human moment and retreating down the hall to the bathroom. I chuckled softly as I could detect her heartbeat which had skyrocketed in a matter of seconds.

One would assume that after several long minutes of breathing space, I would have been able to pull my thoughts and actions together. It proved to be easier said than done.

From this morning, I remembered when she had reentered the room, all reason disappeared. She walked towards me, her hair in a high ponytail, exposing her long neck and its floral scent even more than usual. I was still sitting on the edge of the bed when she effortlessly climbed onto my lap. After that, everything turned into a complete blur. She pressed her soft lips to mine with more force than she had ever used before. One of her hands quickly found its way to the back of my neck as she caressed the skin there with her small fingers. The other was slowly tracing its way down my chest. At first, I sat completely still, letting her kiss me and trying not to lose control. However, my self restraint failed me as I started to kiss her back, slowly at first, but with increasing passion, matching her fiery pace. Before I knew it, the hand that had been making its way down my front, started to clumsily unbutton my shirt. Once it had been half opened, she ran her warm fingers against my exposed chest and I nearly shivered at the feeling. It was all too much; her lips harshly moving against mine; her body pressing against my own; the unbelievable smell of her exposed neck smothering me; the flesh of her fingers directly touching the flesh of my chest. Before I could even process any rational thought, I felt the venom pooling in my mouth, the monster in me begging to come out.

As fast as I could, I lifted Bella off of my lap and disappeared to the far side of the room, away from the bed; away from her body; away from the temptation of her blood.

In resentment, I closed my eyes and breathed in and out. I would not let the beast in me win. I couldn't hurt her.

I glanced over at her, still on the bed. She was breathing as rapidly as I was, her eyes wide as she stared at me struggling for the breath I didn't even need.

She patiently waited, maintaining the distance between us, until I decided it was safe to emerge from the corner back to where she was sitting. Sighing, I sat down next to her, not knowing what to say. What would I have said? I didn't want to remind her even further that no matter how much I loved her, there was still a part of me that wanted to kill her.

I recalled that there were no words exchanged. She just reached over to me and wrapped her arms around me, resting her head on my shoulder. We sat like that for the rest of the time, saying nothing, but still feeling as if we completely understood each other.

As the time nearly reached 2 o'clock, which happened to be Bella's work break at that Mike Newton's store, the all too familiar sound of the rain beat harshly against the windows. Bella had insisted on driving to work today and I frowned at the thought of a danger magnet, such as herself, driving home in the pouring rain. Not even that, but also driving a beat up and unreliable truck such as the one she was so attached to. I shook my head. Sometimes I simply could not understand her.

I picked up my cell phone to dial her number, but before I could even flip it open, the sound of Debussy's Clair de Lune rang through the room while my phone flashed who was calling: Bella. I quickly answered before another ring.

"Hello, Bella."

"Edward," she said almost breathlessly. The corner of my mouth slightly twitched upward, surprisingly pleased that I could have that affect on her even on the phone.

"Bored already, love?" I laughed, highly amused that she was calling me the moment her lunch break started. Sometimes I came very close to almost pitying Mike Newton.

"Hey, it's almost like you can read my mind," she outwardly teased. I frequently wished I could read her mind like I could with everyone else. It drove me insane that she tended to give me the "edited" version of her thoughts most of the time. It was always a guessing game with her.

"You know how I wish I could know exactly what you're thinking, Bella."

"Oh well," she giggled, almost triumphantly. "Anyways, besides the obvious, I have another reason why I'm calling."

"Oh?" I questioned, raising one of my eyebrows and slightly pressing the phone closer to my ear. It wasn't very often that she called me from work with a specific reason. It was usually a way for her to escape awkward conversation with Mike Newton. Once again, I almost felt bad for the boy.

"Yes. So after a long internal deliberation, I've decided to give you permission to come pick me up after work. Don't think I didn't know you were going to show up in your shiny car just because it was raining, Edward," she finished, and I could almost perfectly imagine her smiling into the phone.

"I need permission now?" I mused, leaning my back against the cool wall of my bedroom.

"Well, considering the fact that you'd show up anyways even if I objected and didn't give you permission, like I do almost all the time because it always rains in Forks, no. But, it's nice to be cooperative once in a while, isn't it?"

"Extremely nice, actually," I agreed, glancing at the clock again. Two hours until I'd see her again.

"Oh, and even if the rain does stop, I expect to see you after work," she added. She didn't even have to say it. I would've been there today whether it would've been raining or not. After all, I apparently had formal permission this time. I couldn't let that go to waste.

"You would've seen me even without asking."

"Good," she laughed and then abruptly stopped. "Oh, shoot. Mike, are you alright? Edward? I've got to go. Mike fell and dropped a bunch of the equipment again and I need to help. I'll see you soon."

I quickly said goodbye and let her attend to her work. Although Bella had stopped her laughing when that Mike Newton fell, I found myself laughing even more. He had recently been quite the klutz, always falling into trouble whenever she was speaking with me on the phone. To my amusement and slight annoyance, it was a little too convenient.

Glancing outside, the rain looked as if it was going to stop fairly soon. Perhaps I could run to see Bella, rather than drive, considering the rain wouldn't be an issue in two hours. Even I didn't trust myself driving that old senior citizen truck, as Bella liked to call it, in the rain while she was in it. Therefore, most of the time I'd pick her up in my up to date and reliable car and have Alice drive the truck back to Bella's later before Charlie came back from work. Of course, I would run back to the parking lot and drive it back myself, but Alice seemed to enjoy the job a little too much, considering I rewarded her well for her duties.

My thoughts flickered directly towards my pixie-like sister. I wondered where that girl was. Usually the house was loud and full of life because of her everyday antics, but the house now was a little too quiet.

I quickly probed through the minds of everyone in the house, searching for Alice. When I didn't hear her thoughts, I focused on finding her mind wherever she was. Nothing. I slightly frowned. It was exceptionally unusual when I couldn't hear Alice's thoughts at all. Even when I wasn't focusing on them, they were usually so loud I couldn't help but listen in. Now it was just silent and empty. Something wasn't right. I then started to focus on Jasper. He would probably know where Alice was. However, like Alice, I couldn't detect him in the house or even outside of it.

I quickly got up to my feet, walked out of my room and found Esme rearranging a vase of flowers in the dining room no one ever used.

"Esme," I placed my hand gently on her shoulder, and she turned towards me, a pink rose in her hand.

"Yes, Edward?" she smiled, looking almost motherly despite how very young she would look forever.

"Where are Alice and Jasper? Do you know?" I tried my very best to hide the concern in my voice. I hated putting Esme in distress, especially when it involved any of us, who she considered as her children.

"Oh, I'm not quite sure. They just informed me that they were going out for some fresh air together and left," she answered, placing the rose she held in her hand back into the crystal vase. "Why? Are they in some sort of danger?"

I immediately saw the change in Esme's face as she questioned Alice and Jasper's safety. I decided not to inform her that I could not hear either of their thoughts. I just couldn't bear to see Esme worry.

"No, no. I was only wondering because they never said anything to me and I needed to ask something about the wedding plans. Thank you, Esme," I assured her, giving her a convincing smile.

Without another word, I walked away not sure as to how I felt. It was still more than unusual and worrisome for me to not hear their thoughts. However, if they had left together, perhaps they were merely needing some privacy. I nodded to myself, in agreement with my thoughts. I would wait a little longer. If they hadn't said anything to Esme about staying out late into the day, they would be back

More than an hour passed by and neither Alice nor Jasper had come home. I tried to not think much of it, but this time, something didn't feel right. I wasn't sure what it was, but I didn't feel good about it, at all.

Where did my Rose bear go? I need to--

I tuned out of Emmett's wandering mind at once. Frustrated that I couldn't hear the people I wanted to hear and instead ended up hearing certain other people's unwanted thoughts, I left the house a little earlier than usual to pick up Bella.

In order to clear my head, I dashed out into a much needed run. The cool wind hit my face with full force, but it merely felt like a slight brush. In my head, I could hear the music I was listening to earlier. Throughout my 107 years on this earth, music had always been my constant passion. Even without the stereo, I could hear the songs playing in my head, especially the first track on the CD I had initially relaxed to.

If I could just see you

Everything will be alright

If I'd see you

The storminess would turn to light.

I ran quicker to reach Newton Outfitters, where Bella worked, to at see her smiling face at least a little earlier, even if it was in Mike Newton's vile thoughts.

Nearing close to the building, I reluctantly slowed down, not wanting to be seen in public running at a not very human pace.

As I walked closer to the store, I heard two hushed voices talking . The voices were all too familiar. I recognized the voices at once: Alice and Jasper. I stood closer to the shadows and to my shame, tuned in and tried to figure out what they were arguing about. I still couldn't get a good enough reading of her mind. She was trying extremely hard to hide something.

"I have to see to her and confirm this, Jasper," she whispered a little too loudly.

Alice's voice suddenly elevated, sounding almost frantic, as if she had lost all control of whatever she was trying to conceal in her quiet whisper. I used this as an opportunity to carefully probe through her thoughts to understand why she was so upset. I've rarely ever seen Alice look so pained and unhappy and I needed to know why.

In an instant, it was like she had finally paid attention to her senses and realized they were not alone. She desperately turned around to look at me.

"Edward, don't!" she nearly shrieked, trying one last attempt to conceal her thoughts from me.

But, it was too late.

"Can you feel it? The heartbeat of our baby?" Bella laughed, positively glowing with a happiness I had never seen in her. She looked older. Possibly around 25 years old. Her hair was shorter, her eyes seemed a little darker. However, they were still a deep brown, not the topaz color like they should have been.

A masculine hand reached out and felt her beautiful and bulging stomach.

"Isn't it amazing?" she exclaimed, slowly running her own hand up and down her stomach. "I don't think I've ever been this happy in my life. I still can't believe we're having a baby."

The vision then ended, but my thoughts did not. I could not see the face of the man; the father of her child. I needed to know everything about him but even by just seeing his hand, I did know one thing: he was human… and so was she.

I looked down at my own hands, cold and pale. The hand in the vision had been the opposite. The skin was full of color and life and I could almost sense the warmth radiating off of it as he felt for his baby's heartbeat. The hands were not mine. They belonged to someone else. Someone human. Not only that, Bella was human as well. And happy. She was not the monster I was selfishly planning to turn her into in two weeks.

"Edward," Alice repeated, a plea evident in her voice. I finally looked up and saw her face almost as hurt and in pain as mine was.

"Edward?" another voice called my name. It wasn't Alice or Jasper. It was her voice. "You're here earlier than I expected."

Turning towards Bella, I saw her eyes focus on Alice and Jasper for the first time, not noticing until that moment that I hadn't come alone. A surprised yet confused look spread across her painstakingly beautiful face. She looked back at me again, and I must have been staring at her strangely because she let out a small gasp and a blush in shy embarrassment.

The faint pink color rose to her cheeks, tormenting me. I used to love to see the color creep into her cheeks, but today I couldn't bare to look Vampires did not blush, only humans did. And according to Alice's vision, she was destined to stay human. Not only that, but she would be happy with someone else who did not endanger her life. If I had a beating heart, it would have stopped. The song that had been playing in my head faded away as well. The singer was very wrong. Seeing her now, human and living, did not make things alright. It only made things worse.

Okay, longer than the last chapter! Please read and review. It's really the only way I can see if people are enjoying the story. Feedback is always welcome.

-S