Yachiru was described as many things, but smart was often not included. That was when poor Hitsugaya received the shock of his life.
He tried hard to remain silent, concealing his Reiastu with expertise in the smelly trashcan, trying hard not to be detected by the battle driven maniac. Yet somehow, his daughter figure still managed to find him. The little girl with pink hair stared at him with a completely serious expression on her. If that wasn't scary, he didn't know what else was. Trying hard not to bemoan his fate, he turned to face death head on. Instead, he was offered a deal with the devil herself.
"If Snowball plays with Yachiru, then Yachiru will not tell Ken-Chan where you are," Yachiru said. Hitsugaya fumed. So this whole thing was a set up. He, the prodigy, youngest ever to achieve Bankai, the reincarnate of the heavenly guardian, master of the strongest ice type Zanpakuto, had been outwitted by a small child with the physical age of a five year old and the mental age of a three year old on crack.
"Snowball is funny when she's mad~!" Yachiru sang. Twitch. He was far too used to Matsumoto's stupid comments to show much reaction to anything similar coming from even a brain damaged idiot with the memory of a goldfish with amnesia. However, somewhat of an explosion was caused by the little comment quite possibly suggesting that he was really from the opposite gender. A red haze set in.
Blink. Where the hell was he? A few fuzzy images flitted about his brain, something with a pink haired baboon and unleashing his Bankai upon the already damaged left wing of his division…HOLY SHIT! He just totally screwed up the already screwed up reconstruction of the left wing. Damn. Requesting more funds was in order… (Have you realized he didn't care that he probably slaughtered Yachiru and probably brought the wrath of the most bloodthirsty Captain on himself?)
"Yay! Ken-Chan, Snowball made ice statues for me!" Yachiru shouted. Hitsugaya choked. How could anyone survive…?
"Really?" Kenpachi himself showed up, reminding the white haired Captain of the deal that Yachiru had offered. While it might be slightly better than ending up as mashed potatoes, it certainly did not sound appealing to be near that demon for more than five seconds. And certainly not while she would constantly be bugging him to play her childish games.
Slight movement to his right side caught the prodigy's eye. Kenpachi was readying himself to take off the eye patch. Oh, to hell with it. Anything would be better than having to deal with that battle crazed bastard all over again.
Seeming to have sensed his decision on her own, Yachiru turned to 'Ken-Chan'.
"Ken-Chan, do you think Byakushi wants to play with you today?" she asked.
"He better!" Kenpachi shouted as he sped towards the Kuchiki Manor, leaping over roofs and waving his sword wildly about, decapitating several and disemboweling a few. Yachiru watched him go. Just when Hitsugaya had been hoping that she'd forgot about the whole 'play with Yachiru so she'd get Kenpachi off his back' thing, she turned and pulled out her sword.
Now, any other normal five year old holding a sword would not particularly strike fear into the beholder's hearts but this was the pink haired wonder we were talking about.
"Let's play the Killing Game!" Twitch. Just when he thought he escaped from a free ticket to see Unohana, he was offered a free ticket to stay for five weeks. Want to know why? Though Yachiru had an impressive Reiastu, her powers were undoubtedly immature, so Hitsugaya would have no trouble making putty of her. All's good then right? No. If he killed Yachiru or even sawed off one of her hairs, Kenpachi would personally pulverize him and throw him off a cliff all the while laughing with a bowl of extra buttery popcorn. Sensing his reluctance, Yachiru charged.
A/N: CLIFFIE! Yay! Once again, we remind you that this does not have time skip, miraculously discovering feelings, or anything of that nature. Everything happens naturally and not because some random authors willed it. And no, it's not exactly a fairy tale ending either but we assure you it would be hilarious.
Parody Thingy:
Hitsugaya: The nerve of these people, always putting me in life or death situation…*blanches*
Demon-Pixie: *smiling creepily* The nerve of which people?
Hitsugaya: Oh, um the nerve of…Aizen. Yeah, that's what I meant. *sweating*
Demon-Pixie: *still smiling* Do you want to talk about it?
Hitsugaya: NO! I mean…
Demon-Pixie: Wow, those people must scare you a lot…
Pie: BOO!
Hitsugaya: !
Pie: You still owe me a fight~
Hitsugaya has vanished. If you find him, please let Pie know. Thank you and review.