the listeners(haha!): Thanks so long for our beautiful reviews, we put the question about female orcs in it as we created the report, but for the special wish of the loyal…(something like that) we made it a bit longer. Congratulations! Review more and we can write something about your wishes (do you have an elvish name?). The whole programme with its six reports is finished already but we will continue, because it is a lot of fun- and as we can see, you like it!

Locse

Interview with an orc

Interviewer: Welcome Mr. Ukuz, we are very pleased to be allowed to interview one of the dark creatures of Sauron. It is a difficult thing to find an orc who won't kill you by the time you try to speak to him or her. Oh, sorry, but I don't really know whether there are any orc girls between all these horrible guys killing every living creature down here.

Ukuz: Of course there are orc girls but it is very difficult to get them in such big crowds of orcs. They are fewer than we males are. And they look nearly like we do, there are not such big differences like in your human race. They even feel and behave like males.

Interviewer: Oh, I think some people will be very pleased to hear this. It would be a horrible imagination that some of the darkest creatures in Middle Earth were gay. Where would be the fear then?

Ukuz: Sorry, but I really have to mention that the orcs aren't as bad and dark as everybody thinks. Orcs have feelings too, you know, and every time I hear somebody saying like "dark creatures" I could nearly cry! sobs Do you think it is nice to see a monster every time you look into the mirror? It isn't! If these bad, but good-looking elves wouldn't be so awful to us maybe we wouldn't be so violent. And I really get angry when they start mobbing us, like "hey, look at this grumpy creatures, today their stink is at the highest point of bad smell!".

Interviewer: Is that all they do to you? Why don't you just fight? You are strong and cruel!

Ukuz: You have an bit of elvish, haven't you? Never mind! And they do lots of more things to us. It is not that why couldn't afford, but it is just… I don't know! I could tell you some more little stories, but whispers my cousin would be very angry when I tell you big ones. He loves the elvish knights, you know what I mean! loud Okay, one time we only wanted to get two little guys, two halflings, with a very little but special thing they carried around. They weren't very important for us, you know, but these elves wanted them too, so we went on hunting. Many of us had to die. But for that we killed one of these stupid humans, which were going with the elves and little ones and so we got them! HA! So we showed these arrogant elves that we weren't as stupid as they think. It was a great feeling. But after a while the elves took one hundreds of their knights and followed us for miles and miles. I was the only one to escape these fucking, stinking elvish arrows, my whole family was killed in this bloody battle. Another orc moves near and stuck his sword into Ukuzs back. Argh, sorry Quezuk, I had to tell about my pain, it was so terrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…. he dies

Music: -At the End of all things- The return of the king- song 16

Quezuk: Sorry, I had to kill this fucking and slimy traitor, he told too much of Saurons plans, I think?

Interviewer: No, none.

Quezuk: Never mind, he got on my nerves!

Interviewer: I would say, back to the studio! QUICK!!!

Speaker: Thank you for that! And now, my dear listener, do you know what? If we play "Into the West" after "Gollum´s Song" you can call us and win one of the three rings. The number is:

All: 000001 (o-o-o-o-o-one) 000002 (o-o-o-o-o-two)

Speaker: So, now we have the next report from Rivendell. Nia, please tell us about the situation there!

We hope you liked this one, next time Nia will tell us something very interesting about Arwen and Aragorn!

And sorry, but I won't have that much time to give you more in the next few days, just tell me you're there and I will hurry!